Choks

I really enjoy mind bending, psychological thriller movies or series, although I don't watch a lot of TV. A lot of my friends who share the same mentality kept mentioning the OA and after watching the fourth episode I thought I should share it on the forum. After some episodes I felt this rush and enthusiasm to keep learning and re engage as a life long student of the mind. It has a lot of subliminal messages and so subtle sometimes. Shows topics about existentialism, after life, reality, and experiences you learn through soul work. It is really hard for me to like a movie or series because nowadays 99% of the time its always these mainstream, pop culture shows or movies. But this series really gets you to think and it has profound insights. I really recommend it. The series black mirror is also very mind bending and interesting. This type of series are not for anyone though. You have to be really open minded and try to read between the lines. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did and share your thoughts

I am very confused right now on which path should I take between my top 2 passions. I'm almost 26 years old with a bachelor's in business. My top 3 passions are fitness, personal development and cars. I chose I wanted to work with cars for the rest of my life 3 years ago. I could spent hours looking at videos, shows, or reading about cars. I have dedicated 3 years of my life into this. I have certifications, i started from the bottom and now I am a manager of the body shop division in an auction company. Not bad for starters but my goal is to have my own business. What really opened my eyes was Leo's video about psychedelics. I feel I'm a slave, having to be somewhere at a certain time, dealing with stress, barely having time to read and exercise. I was commuting to work and Leo was saying: "what the fuck are you doing? wake up! what else will arouse you from your ignorance!? what you call a meaning for life is a farse, meaningless, a story you have constructed." And i could actually agree with him on that. What else could I be doing better than improving myself, reading, working out, eating healthy, getting good sleep, taking care of myself. And to make things worse, the car industry is the cause of so much harm to our planet and our environment and I feel I don't want to contribute to that. Long story short. I am considering leaving my passion for cars and slowly moving towards the path of becoming a personal fitness trainer concentrated in nutrition, and hopefully on the long run incorporate personal development, have my website or blog etc. The thing is, i just want to read, and exercise. I want to learn more about philosophy, sociology and many other interesting fields. I want to learn another language, and be more connected with nature. I also love to meditate! I want to grow myself and at the same time help others, sort of like what Leo does. I feel that working as a trainer I could work on my fitness, help others, and have the time to read and meditate. But despite all the downsides, I still love cars! I already have a lot of experience, and I would throw everything to the garbage and start all over again getting certifications to be a trainer. I'm kind of scared that later on I will regret having changed my path. Is a career in fitness worth it? any personal trainers that can give me advice? Thoughts or insights would be greatly appreciated!

I've been in this journey towards self-actualization for almost 2 years now. I reached rock bottom in 2014, waking up with suicidal thoughts every morning. I felt i was going insane, and that i was in a hole so deep that it was almost impossible to get out of. I thought my life was over because i've had extreme anxiety since i was 16 years old, I am 25 now. Since 16 I've suffered from depression, social anxiety, fear, and just anxiety in general. All day living in this dense mental fog, imagining myself for the rest of my life in a mental hospital, afraid of the future. Spent all my college years smoking pot since 2010. Even though i enjoyed it for the first couple of years, my social anxiety began getting worse, I was feeling alienated, and never left my house to go out partying and meet new people. Just wanted to smoke pot and chill all day in my comfort zone. After doing some digging in my past and reading some books, i realized my father had mentally abused me since I was a kid. I had everything i wanted, went to the best schools, and my dad showed me love by buying whatever I desired, but deep inside I was living in a world of shit. I grew up all my life with my dad telling me I wasn't going to amount to anything, constantly humiliating me because I wasn't the version he wanted me to be. I was too fat for him, never woke up early, got bad grades, and no matter how much i tried, i was never enough. He destroyed my self esteem with humiliating comments and judgements about my physical appearance. Amazingly, my strong willpower and discipline helped me get out of my depression. Graduated from college, got fit losing 50 pounds, and had my morning ritual meditating every day, reading, journaling, and exercising. A new earth by Eckhart Tolle changed my life. I was positive 24/7, everything went my way, my good emotions and positivism made reality into a self fulfilled prophecy. As soon as something didn't go right, i smiled and said: Everything will be ok, and later the situation drastically changed for my convenience. It was like magic. I was going out, got a girlfriend, had so much fun meeting new people, women were texting me wanting to meet me. I felt I was in my prime. unfortunately, my ex girlfriend of 7 years was calling me she wanted me back, and i did. That was the worst mistake I ever did. I stopped meditating that often, went back to my comfort zone, started smoking pot again because i thought I had everything handled, stopped exercising regularly, and my mental weeds were slowly growing back. In 6 months i was the same anxious, paranoid person with my social anxiety at its peak and on top of all this, my girlfriend left me. I was devastated, but always knew I was coming back. With social anxiety and a lot of emotional labor, i got a job as a manager in a corporation, i was scared as fuck but confronted all my fears and i'm really proud of myself for that. I've been trying to get to my prime for a year now, and it's REALLY hard getting back to it again once you lost it. I'm feeling good right now, pretty positive, working in my new job for 5 months now, but I feel so much anxiety even though i'm back to my healthy habits: eating healthy, meditating, exercising, reading etc. I feel tension in my shoulders, have terrible nightmares, and have mental fog. Even though i'm in a generally good state of mind and positive, my anxiety doesn't go away. I've been reading about chakras and thinking on going to a healer for some energy work or reiki and would like to hear experiences of people that have done something like this. What am i doing wrong that I can't be the person I used to be? should i do something different? I started going hard on my personal development a month ago so i guess I need to be very patient.

@J. M. Wigglesworth Thank you! this helps a lot. My shoulders feel so much better after i did the exercise. Thanks to everybody, and really hope that if anyone is feeling like i did, there really is a way out of it. Even though it looks almost impossible. Leo has helped me a lot! and maybe if I let go of the expectation of trying to be at my prime, I can just accept where I'm at and get there faster. Or maybe dropping the mentality that I have to get somewhere. But it will take time, easier said than done. I'm really happy and grateful with where I'm at, but I'll never forget those couple of months. Waking up with a smile, absorbing every sound, smell, colors, waking up with the feeling i was ready to crush it, so much energy behind my words and actions, so assertive, making people laugh, nothing scared me and if a situation went wrong or awkward, I focused on my breathing and didn't give a fuck of the outcome. I just wasn't taking, i was giving. I was self-amused and that attracted everyone around me. It took me hard work, but it's possible. And surely I'll do it again, although this time for the long run.

@DreamSpirit I grew up in Nicaragua and lived there for 19 years, live in California now. Also forgot to mention this two great places to visit: Laguna de Apoyo and Cañon de Somoto. I'm glad it helped and if you have any questions or want restaurant suggestions in managua, granada, and san juan feel free to send me a message

I always like to give everything a try to feel the experience. Whether its new food, drugs, countries, skydiving, etc. For me, the title of the discussion is wrong: "using psychedelics for self actualization". I tried certain drugs, not to be more self actualized or gain consciousness, but because of the experience. That experience may be good, may be bad, may shatter the ego, or may even make the ego stronger. But if you have a bad experience with shrooms or LSD, yes, you are going to live in hell for a while. But then you are going to realize it was all created because of your thoughts. You had the bad experience because your brain wasn't trained enough or ready yet to try this hallucinogens. You will learn that not everything you labeled as "bad" is bad, or whatever you labeled as "good" is good. So in a way, by having the experience, you may come to these realizations and help you to awaken. But its not like I'm going to say: ok, time to feel actualized, bring me some shrooms and acid. There is this treatment that is called micro dosing. A doctor uses LSD in micro amounts and injects it into you scalp or other part of the body i don't remember... so you don't feel those hardcore effect or hallucinating. The outcome was that the person ended up feeling clear minded, much more creative, productive, and with new perspectives. I would like to try that one day. I'm not saying: drugs are good, all of you should try them. Everybody reacts differently but in my opinion and experience, drugs have really helped me awaken (the first time or couple times i did it). But now that i know the path, I'm not going to go look for psychedelics to try self-actualize. I already found the path because of the drugs. Now instead of using more drugs to self actualize, i use books, journaling, meditation, visualizations, etc. Drugs sometimes just show you the path, sometimes they don't and the ego grabs it as just another thing to identify itself with.

In my experience, it took me years to eliminate my bad eating habits and have a steady workout routine. My advice is: DO NOT GIVE UP! I was fat almost all my life since elementary all the way to college. I had the worst eating habits: eating at night, junk food, sugar, skipping breakfast, sodas, etc. For dinner and lunch i ate my protein (chicken, meat, etc) with rice and bread. I loved rice and bread a lot. After may attempts of trying to lose weight, one day i just had enough and decided that the only way i could achieve this goal was to change my mindset, my lifestyle, and approach this not only as a goal im trying to reach, but as a life long journey of taking care of my fitness and my nutrition. I'm 5'6 and weighed 185 in my prime and dropped down to 128. Went from a 34 pant size to 28. I didn't use any mainstream diet (south beach diet, atkins diet etc.). I did my research and it really wasn't that complicated, the hardest part is the long and steady determination you need to start noticing changes. In a nut shell, I dropped more than 50 pounds by: Never skipping breakfast (i hated breakfast, i forced myself to eat the first couple of weeks.. now breakfast is my favorite meal of the day). Drink a LOT of water, Replacing all that rice and bread with veggies. So my dinner and lunch would basically be: Steak with salad, chicken with salad, salmon with salad, Tuna with salad and so on. Eliminated completely sugar and sodas. Only drink water and natural juices. And one of the most important things that made me lose weight: the power of snacks. This is important for two reasons. My eating cycle before was: Breakfast 7AM, Lunch 1PM, DInner 7PM. By having this huge gaps between my meals i accomplished two things: my metabolism shuts down and secondly, by the time it was lunch or dinner time I was so hungry I ate too much. My new eating cycle looks like this: breakfast: 7AM, Meal: 10AM, Lunch: 1pm, Meal: 5PM DInner:7pm. Besides helping my metabolism functioning at its best and when it was time for lunch or dinner I wasn't starving, I also used the snacks or meals in between to boost my metabolism. My favorite meals were: organic low fat yogurt with granola, added some berries and also added hemp fiber. I also like to eat fiber packed corn flakes with banana and it kept me full. In my weight loss experience i never starved, i was actually very full almost all the time. It is not how much you eat, it is what you eat. Finally, a lot of exercise. Weight lifting and cardio. Workout at least 5 days a week. At first it was really hard but you have to make a commitment and make it part of your lifestyle. If i did it, you can do it to. I just took simple tips even from pinterest or other websites which basically say the same thing: 5 meals, lot of water, exercise, no junk food, no sodas. Sometimes my friends ordered pizza and I watched them eat pizza or fried chicken without even hesitating to get a slice. I was so determined that not even the smell of pizza, or other junk food made me want to lose all the effort i put into this. I recommend swimming and switching up your cardio routines. I lost 50 pounds in 8 months. Keep motivated and if you really want it, you will achieve it. I feel better than ever now. I'm fit, my body feels great and aligned. I feel that I'm not loving myself by eating junk food or sugary drinks, and think of all the damage I'm doing to myself (i had kidney stones at the age of 19 due to bad eating habits). I just wanted to share my story and good luck to everyone that is on these beautiful journey of taking care of your body, being conscious of what your eating, and implementing exercise into your daily routine because that's how it's supposed to be in the first place. The outcome of all the effort you put into this is so worth it. Even if you fall back into bad eating habits. Start over, make everyday count.

If you are traveling to Nicaragua, here are some recommendations: I've travelled to a handful of countries: USA, Canada, Mexico, Panama. Also Costa Rica and Honduras when i was really young. In the U.S i've been to New York, Florida, Virginia, Colorado, California and Nevada. But the country i know the most is the one i've lived most of my life and is currently gaining worldwide attention which is Nicaragua. It is such a beautiful country. The cities are amazing! Granada, Leon, Managua, San Juan Del Sur, Esteli, Matagalpa are my favorite. Granada and Leon have a colonial feel in the architecture of churches and houses. Granada is so beautiful with a huge volcano (mombacho) located on the side skirts of the city and beautiful views. The lake of Nicaragua or "lago cocibolca" is the largest lake in Central America and it's a FRESHWATER lake! The water is so delicious as well as the beaches in San Juan Del Sur. It really feels like you are in paradise especially in: San Juan Del Sur: La Pepesca Area, El remanso beach, Maderas Beach, and Marsella Beach. Some of this beaches feel like giant swimming pools sometimes, and in other hours of the day they have amazing waves especially for surfing. In San Juan del Sur for nightlife i recommend: Iguana Bar, The Naked Tiger Hostel, Pacha Mama Hostel, Arribas, and Hola ola hostel. Granada nightlife i recommend: La Calzada strip (which has lots of restaurants and bars), and Weekend. Managua has a fun nightlife too: AltaBar and The Reef are the most popular. Esteli is a beautiful city which is know for making coffee and some of the best cigars in the world.. "cigar zone" is a great club for nightlife. Matagalpa also has some of the best coffee and a mountain village kind of feeling with beautiful views, great weather. Nightlife: check out "woods"... you should also check out: Selva Negra. It is a Natural Reserve with forest trails, amazing food, and villas. The place is so peaceful, great for meditating and reading. The activities go on and on: volcano sand boarding, surfing, fishing, trail walking, you name it. Don't forget to try Nicaragua's Beer: Toña and Victoria, as well as its Rum: Flor de Caña. Since it's a third world country, it also puts thing into perspective especially if your coming from a first world country. Living there is a reminder of how blessed you are, and how stupid people can be sometimes for stressing by meaningless things when some people don't have shoes, shelter, or even food to eat. In Conclusion: Very cheap, Excellent coffee, alcoholic beverages, cigars, food, beaches, lakes, volcanoes, parties... what else can you ask for

I've been smoking weed since i was 18, i am 25 now. In my college years i used to smoke everyday, but i was really lucky i've always been the kind of person that can say "NO" when necessary. I can quit whenever i want and i've never been dependent on any substance to the point it ruins my life. I also quit smoking cigarettes from one day to another, but everybody is different. I would advice you to take a break (at least 6 months) and after that really try and use personal development to control your desire of wanting to smoke weed everyday. I disagree with people demonizing weed. In fact, without weed, i wouldn't have been able to achieve certain level of open-mindedness and it helped me to become awake since i went through a lot of suffering. Despite my heavy use of marihuana in my college years, i graduated and have a major in business, and found my life purpose. Weed brought a lot of suffering in my life once. I liked how it made me feel, but at the same time I was totally identified with my ego (pessimistic, low self image, no confidence, no life purpose, hated life and a lot of other issues). If it weren't for weed and all the suffering it brought into my life, i probably never would have realized how the ego works or i wouldn't have started my journey to enlightenment. Now I have a job that i love, i am really happy and positive all the time and basically that's all i need since i'm grateful for all the things i have right now in the present moment. After my break (almost a year), I started smoking weed again but only on weekends (some weekends i don't even smoke) and just really makes me enjoy the small stuff or little things in life or have some ME time (this doesn't mean I can't achieve these feelings without weed). So if you don't want to quit forever, it doesn't have to be one way or the other (smoke all day err day, or never smoke again in your life). After your break, practice self control and set your priorities. If i can have a job, wake up at 4:30 AM everyday, workout, and do personal development everyday, and still control myself to wait and smoke weed in the weekend. You can do it to. Hope this helps

I usually stay away from mainstream, biased news like CNN, fox news, ABC etc. Sometimes it feels like it is such a waste of time the stories they tell, how they manipulate information, and the whole purpose of it is to get you into your lower self. No news, is good news... I prefer to invest my time in personal development, hobbies, and my career instead of getting info plowed into my brain that is usually useless and created by the mind and ego. In my opinion, things like politics don't even exist, it is totally made up and it is used to make the people feel they have some sort of control when really they don't. I do come from a past where i loved politics, loved current events, and watched the news everyday, but then i realized how news were negatively affecting me by making me love to get in touch with that side of my lower self, and consuming so much of my time. To be informed, i just read the headlines on my phone (takes me about 3 min.) and these sites may be useful if you want to stay away of mainstream media. http://www.globalresearch.ca/ http://www.hangthebankers.com/