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Same request

The question is whether a successful guy even is what a woman wants (truly, not just what she'd fed to believe). Not sure if it will fulfill her. Looks will attract many guys, and nothing wrong with that. But looks alone won't get her a guy she can have a relationship with that's fulfilling. Plus there's also a bunch of girls who struggle with looks too. Just a comment on the channel of the video above. The dude is making videos from/for the RedPill ideology/belief system. It's not necessarily gonna evolve you and grow you to higher levels, I find there are better teachers and resources out there. Personally I've been down the RedPill/Manosphere rabbit hole, and luckily for me come out better with understanding of ideologies and humility from stepping into it. Did feed some hate and victim mentality and insecurities (in me and other members of it, I saw) precisely because of some (biased, limited perspective) talking points like "Oh, look wome have it so easy." "There's a war on masculinity." "Women are gonna cuck you." (that one lead to me micromanaging interactions, appearing alpha, not beta, ...). Openmindedness didn't "save me" from getting into RedPill, but it helped in getting me out. When I entered I had no clue about most dynamics and concepts. One of my wake up calls was that (many of) the guys weren't very self-aware of their ego mechanisms, judging, playing victim, blaming women, ... and how basically it eroded my trust in women. This backfired when I finally got a girl I liked (which was the thing I got into RedPill in the first place). Grew me in the end. Still: I don't think you can have a successful deep and authentic and trusting relationship with women when subscribing to the RedPill. Hope this may save you some time.

Did you consider this exercise? It may be useful for becoming wise. May not even be needed for now, but it seems you made a vow. https://actualized.org/downloads/uncovering-your-childhood-vows-worksheet.docx (Just so there's no misunderstanding: I don't say to not make the decision you made now, or whatever you'll choose.) What I meant by vow:

This guy's blog and book were useful too: https://ispeakpeople.com/

Thanks for this thread! Has anyone stumbled upon very good resources (models, practices, ...) on developing Ni? (Saw that book Himanshu mentioned) If there's something in those reddit posts, I'll find it

Some other things I came across: https://www.integralpsychology.org/integral-relationships.html https://www.integralpsychology.org/uploads/1/5/3/0/15300482/compatibility_matrix.pdf

@Mada_ Other resources that came to mind would be David Deida's books and seminars (these would fall into "relational spiritual practice" afaik). "Dear Lover" is one of his books which is for women, though my gf wants me to read it too. Where would you get yourself at on SD or EDT? I'd know some "more basic" relationship mastery resources, but fewer for higher levels.

Found this a while ago, but haven't looked much into it. couples line of development from: https://drtomhabib.com/a-couples-line-of-development-t and https://thewisdomfactory.net/intimate-couples-becoming-2nd-tier-explorers-with-tom-habib-ph-d/

In case this hasn't been mentioned: How is language related to science? How does language limit science? Science and the implicit (as in explicit vs implicit understanding)

Formerly titled: Mission: get dad outta conspiracy theories and cultish activities. (Excuse the click-baity title, or not.) Tl;dr: Would like to change the views of my dad, or him becomeing aware of the structure of what he's involved in. How would you make someone question their conspiracy theories or see through or drop them? Any tactics? Hope the rest of the context can serve some of you as an example or be of entertainment: @Leo Gura's latest video on conspiracy theories, the trap of toxic life purpose and the cult series tied in nicely together for me to get an understanding of my dad. For some years now, my dad (in his sixties) started reading and watching non-mainstream "news" sources and media which I would consider conspiracy theories and woo. Like the illuminati, Obama's wife has a dick, jews rule finance, NWO ... kind of thing. Even sending me some more racist ideology content and memes. In the last months there has been more of an involvement in an online group which pinged on my cult-radar. I've talked to him once about that seeming like a cult to me, warning him and reading some quotes from the cult video. In the end it went better than expected (I didn't have high expectations), which means I got dismissed, him saying it is not a cult, him not being curious about it, but defensive, saying in an somewhat loving (implicitly belittling) tone: "I got it figured out, I take care of myself..." - while in my mind he's essentially walking down an avenue he has little clue about, with no understanding of the dynamics. ... I imagine the discussion would have been much easier if he were aware of all the defense mechanisms he pulls. What really bothered me was when he joined the private messaging and voice chat of one of these groups (because well, confirmation bias, bubble, my fear he might get radicalized, him finding that as a source of community, etc. ...) with motivation and eagerness rarely witnessed before. We're in Germany. This thing he joined there is some group of people basing itself on some older laws, seeing the government as an American Corp (iirc), and joining people who will join create a true-to-the-law committee which will serve the people. (< this is more of a carricature than a description of the thing. I'm not familiar with the jargon and English or German words and proper use.) They have like a news site (with some actual good health info), some YouTube channel, (BitChute, VK, Gab and other media, ...) and near daily meetup and internet-radio show where people like call in and ask questions. (I could link to it, if it would serve the discussion, though it's in German.) At least in certain topics my dad does seem to have a high cognitive development, making nuances points, understanding misunderstanding between us from a more meta view, some green values like health and quite some openmindedness it seems. Only shocks me more then, when he pulls some Stage Blue, stuck-in-their-own-perspective "sources of Truth" videos, QAnon stuff, or thinking Trump is a genius (and calling me retarded and stupid for believing otherwise). One thing that worked somewhat well was me researching the background of this leader dude, and I found some people calling him (or someone of similar name) demagogue, which then turned my dad more skeptical towards it, but didn't really end up anywhere. Also I tried to reason about a point I heard the host of the show make, namely whether it would at all be possible to turn the pyramid scheme (this country) bottom-up (which is a goal they had), without the rest of the world forcing it back to homeostasis, ... him thinking if they see how fine it worked for us they would too. Somewhat promising seems to argue more towards that it is not possible one group leading the world, which he nearly understood. (But it wouldn't resolve the deeper issue of him not knowing shit about epistemology or being self-aware of his mind's defenses.) (may delete some of the content here, cause I do feel a little uncomfortable sharing some of this) Has anyone ever challenged/changed the views or conspiracy theories of someone succesfully? Or do you have any tactics you can suggest? (I wish I could just sit him down watch 2 hours of Leo and have him think it all through, ... but doesn't seem practical.) Leo already mentioned some tactics I think I can apply: falsification (asking him how he would ever know if something he beliefs were false; finding contradictory evidence) opening his mind with "Imagine ... " And something I came up with would be me becoming so super interested and curious that I ask lots of questions about this cultish-thingy and want to partake in it... asking questions curiously: What do they believe? Letting him explain all that stuff to "convice" me, while he becomes aware of all the holes. being a pain in the ass and calling it cult thing daily and slipping that in till he is willing to look at some "evidence" I bring

That's cute of you Leo. Makes me wanna see Star Wars and for the first time see it's spiritual aspects. As an update: Talked to my dad, curiosly asking about what is going on etc, he was eager to talk. What often surprises me is that in some ways he has certain Yellow elements, is willing to admit "I don't know." (at times), certain meta awareness, and ways he talks ... (not sure to what extent I've blown out of proportion the race things). He dismissed reading the wiki article on Conspiracy Theories as a "waste of time". All in all a step to success. In my case I'll go further till he reads the wiki article, and let him make the distinction between conspiracy and conspiracy theory which he seemingly starts to get more interested in. Thanks again people for the replies!

@Nahm Nice, will be part of me strategy. The German wikipedia article is really well written. Will look for some simpler hq definitions. @Opo Yeah, good advice. One thing I'm concerned with is what'll fill the vacuum once this thing is questioned and done (like where he gets his sense of contribution and community, ...; which are part of what got him there in the first place). Or I'll just see and let it evolve. What filled the vacuum in your case? Agree. Can frame this endeavor now positively as "Mission: Turn Dad into a True Skeptic." Thanks again for teaching me that lesson yourself. Slight us-vs-them thinking and generalizing there yourself. But besides, I entertain (for my dad at least) more the theory that it'll be painful to admit that the reason he didn't have the life he would've deeply desires to live was and is himself. So while the mind buys into it's own victim thinking and not taking responsibility and mental bullshit they have no one taking them meta of what is going on. If they knew what they did, they wouldn't do it. If I wouldn't have stumbled upon Leo's vids and self-help and had all the free time and other luxuries I have, I would've likely been there myself. Been down the RedPill rabbit hole myself, so I had a good example to learn how warped and real and complete ideologies/beliefs/narratives look.

This sounded to me like it would resonate with the thread: Entrepreneurialism as a Spiritual Practice w/ Derek Sivers. October 20th @ 6:30 PM ET. (https://www.thestoa.ca/) or podcast.

Think Leo mentioned Matt Kahn once https://m.youtube.com/user/JulieMuse Btw. Anyone tried Sacred Dance or something as a spiritual practice?

Post comparisons between all stages here, to deepen the understanding of the model. (In case there's already a Spiral Dynamics Resources thread, let me know.) I imagine this one being useful for discussions in the Society, Environment, Government, Politics sub-forum. From: Systems and Legal Systems: Perspectives of Law, Justice, Rights, and Peace (http://integralleadershipreview.com/16354-value-systems-and-legal-systems-perspectives-of-law-justice-rights-and-peace/ )

QuickRead YouTube channel with a variety of book summaries for Expert/Achiver onward in EDT. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYcJwJXNsBWy5QMU74wf9UQ/videos

Distraction — The Ego’s favorite Defense Mechanism “Sir, might I suggest the red hering? It is excellent tonight.” Why aren’t more people conscious? Distraction. Sneaky phenomenon Ego many defense mechanisms. Why? Needed to keep illusion of ego alive. If you didn’t distract yourself you would inevitably discover the truth about yourself: no you. What is meant by distraction? Not just video games, facebook, … they are ofc distractions thinking those are the distraction is itself the distraction peanuts compared to real distraction real distraction: your entire life everything you are doing in your life has the big picture goal of distracting you from turning inwards and seeing the Truth Work, Career, Business, Pursuing Success, Pursuing Money Family, Relationships, Friendships, Socialization Talking, Thinking, Debating, Arguing Trying to safe the world, Doing good in the world Education Politics Church Religion Technology Science all distractions there are redeeming qualities to these things, but in the big oicture the ego uses them as shields from doing the inner work to become conscious in life. A high quality distraction isn’t a frivolous thing. You distract yourself with the most meaningful thing in the world. A slight of hand of the mind that makes you have the wrong priorities in life which gets you pursuing the wrong things in life. Related Episodes: 30 Ways Suciety Fucks You In the Ass Lifestyle Minimalism Overcoming Addictions Distractions always very well justified. The best don’t seem like distractions at all (sneaky). What are you distracted from? Turning inwards Facing existential Truth and Reality —> Absolute Infinite Episodes, Enlightenment Episodes (, and prob also newer ones) Not only delaying enlightenment, but just living the contemplative lifestyle, becoming more conscious about all aspects of life (thought process, how money works, …) Why? Mind has to work this way, otherwise it can’t exist. Almost like you were a magician who’s life depended upon fooling himself he exists, has to be a very good magician. Paradoxical What is a distraction? Make some noise over there so that none looks ever here, then we stall out the clock. Merely stall out the clock, for 60 years of life till to old, sick and stubborn to care about anything and then you die. You can do all the other stuff but never discover yourself. Let it sink in: 99.99999% of all human being die on this earth without having discovered who they actually are. See distraction in you and how difficult it is to resist it. The see it in others, then in the whole species. Solid illusion: entire sense of reality, notion of physical reality is an illusion. People thinking this claim is outrageous show how deep the illusion goes. Agreeing with this is also part with the illusion. Some flashy object and you get preoccupied looking at it so you don’t look at the elephant in the room. Very intelligent people do this. Whenever you think you avoided the tricks of the mind, whatch out. That is when the mind succeeded at tricking you. Example: Religion In name the function is to get you to the Truth. The way it evolved and morphed and was bastardized by the ego turned it into the ultimate distraction trap. Feel as though they move to the truth but move in different direction. When thinking you have one up on your mind, mind has one up on you. Amazing to see that and connect it back to what happens in society. Especially when you make good progress you will fall of track, something will distract you. Happens hundreds of times on this path. The mechanism of the mind has so many red herings, it is a miracle people even discover the Truth. Like walking through 10 miles of minefield and coming out alive. What happens in the Awakening Process? You awaken by 1% then you forget, then you remember a month later and awaken by 1%, then you bacjslide and forget for a whole year. Then you remember and self-inquire, meditate andawaken by 2%. Then something distracts you. Society’s, Religion’s, Career’s job is to make you busy. Chase your own tail until you’re dead. That’s what it means to be a self. There are infinite distractions in society. Even on a solo meditation retreat, still infinite distractions. All the tricks: let’s go for a walk, look at that cute squirrel, a cyclone of thoughts, … Distractions can be very micro and very macro. You’re life depends on distracting itself from looking inward. A high stakes game until you awaken and see the sham of it. Your mind tricks you into chasing books philosophizing drama tabloids sex porn The more society advances the worse the problem gets. Wait til Virtual Reality, imagine VR porn, VR Facebook, VR Video Games, … Your entire career can be one giant defense mechanism, red hering. Even a glimpse of full awakening for some hours, will get you to see if it weren’t for some lucky circumstances you would’ve missed knowing how good awakening it and that it exists. Society is a collective ego distraction. Designed to keep ego perpetually stimulated. That’s why Yogis choose to live on mountaintops etc. Have you noticed a knee jerk reaction against living on a mountain top or in a cave? You have been brainwashed by society into “life” as you know it, life in mainstream society, you don’t know any other life. Notice negative characterizations you got from society: “Can’t be happy out there without a phone, porn, internet, alcohol, party, girls, guys, children, family, …” Actually the process in becoming conscious and staying within mainstream society is actually much harder than for yogis and monks living in a cave As though reporting on the news is what your life is about? Get paid millions and stay stuck. Objection: Sounds like you’re badmouthing family, religion, business, success, sex and relationships and that it’s bad and evil and a sin. And now I feel moralized. Nothing is bad. Bad doesn’t exist. No action is bad. Nothing wrong and bad about video games, go play them if you want. Don’t have to stop doig anything in particular. BUT what will you likely do? Fall back into mainstream cultural habits and conditions, doin them unconsciously and not seeing the elephant in the room. You’re gonna piss away your life if you are not careful right here. Though technically nothing is wrong and you can do anything you want, but from a practical perspective you create a miserable life. You are paying the toll for the life you lead. Chasing really small fish, when there is a whale to be landed. Land the fucking whale. Don’t loose sight of the big picture by getting sucked into your career, your family, your relationship, into sex, into pickup, hobbies of the stupid sort. Doesn’t mean “don’t do it.” If you wanna collect bottle caps, go collect bottle caps. But put in in perspective. Make it an ancillary aspect of your life. The problem happens when you make it the primary feature of your life. Career about bottle cap collecting and spreading that idea throughout society and become a millionaire and thinking “I aced life.” NOPE, you got distracted and lost sight of the big picture. —> Not moralizing. Not saying you shouldn’t do anything. But be mindful of the consequences where it will lead you. You mostly pay for them. Good metaphor Imagine you’re in Disneyland. It’s fun there and you are there with your family and kids. Going on rides eating all the greasy food, your first time there. Then Leo comes up. He says: “Hey guys, we gotta get out of here. Stop all the rides, stop eating the foods, put all this down. There is a giant fucking hurricane coming.” You listen… and say “Are you really saying that the rides in Disneyland are bad? Do you say this churro I’m eating is bad? And my lids and family is bad? Sounds like you dismiss this whole thing. What’s wring with going to Disneyland and enjoying myself. It’s just fun. Relax man, don’t be anal about it.” Leo isn’t saying there is something wrong with being in Disneyland per se, but realize there is a hurricane coming. What is the hurricane? Your death. And it’ll come much sooner than you think. What’s your connection to life gonna be when on your deathbed? What’s your whole life gonna be about? If people still have some wit at that age, they realize they have been in Disneyland, on rides, gueging churros to the point they got sick of them. Now the hurricane is come and now you’re screwed. The rides are fun. Society is an amusement park for the ego. But the hurricane is coming. It is possible to prepare yourself for this hurricane, the way you do it is by awakening, doing consciousness work. Getting the ultimate big picture is important. And prioritizing your ultimate big picture above anything else. To really get what Leo says, you prioritize it to #1, #2 and #3. Everything else can still happen, like Disneyland, but it’s #10 or #15 In Islam there’s the concept of “forgetfulness” pray 5 times a day why? If you don’t take precautions to think about life at an existential level or to pray, every single minute of the day, you will forget. Because your mind is that tricky and gets easily distracted. Really mindful and meditating 24/7, but it’s hard that we forget. People tend to hate religious abstentions: No sex, no alc, no fun stuff. Thinking they are so up tight and demonize all fun stuff at life. Two kinds of abstentions: Told to do it from an external authority, doing it from obligation = unconscious, inspiritual Reason there are so many obstantions like the harcore mystics, you have to find a way to work around the (worst) distractions of your culture you also see them as low consciousness activities, entithetical to going after the elephant in the room As you become more conscious you naturally tend to discard them, not in a rigid fashion, just gravitate towards sth else Sex, alcohol, nothing is gonna look like a sin, but beautiful life. Though to get there you gotta abstain from stuff. Looking from post-awakening is a different perspective than pre-awakening. From pre-awakening you gotta work your ass off practically. From post-awakening you can say everything is fine, nothing to do and nowhere to go. None of those things are bad, that makes them tempting. It’s untruthful to call them sin or bad. The highest level of abstinance is not from an iseological or moralistic fashion. You abstain because you rather have the truth, developing a love for it so you don’t want to tarnish it. In the sense most people would’t do heroin if it were sold in their pharmacy because they see it’ll lead them spiraling downwards of chasing lower and lower consciousness things. It’s not a sin, but there is that problem if you have something to loose. Now replace heroin with your family, money, career, sex, and all the stuff society tells you is okay. What are the takeaways from this episode? Start to notice all the little distractions and big distractions you experience every single day. Not saying yet to abstain, just noticing. You start becoming aware, it’ll start going away slowly [—> Awareness alone is curative.] Micro distractions. Like when meditating and it starts to rain and you get distracted and start thinking about the rain. Macro distraction. Thinking about having some children when you shouldn’t yet. Or when having a tiny business, thinking about expanding it and dreams about growing it bigger and bigger, and noticing: Oh, that whole chain of never ending business expansion might eb a macro distraction. Or criticising, finger pointing, debating, like wait I do a lot of it, might be a macro distraction. It’s okay to get distracted, don’t demonize it. You’ll say “Oh man I’m such a bad person, I can’t meditate.” and feel guilty. Be careful kudging yourself. You have to appreciate this mechanism is what allows you to exist and that your life hinges upon it, so it won’t disassemble and deconstruct easily. Probably years. You wouldn’t judge yourself for getting blown over by a hurricane. Your mind is much stronger than a hurricane. Key: Staying mindful of the mechanism, not letting your mind turn outward too much. Watching it over time you’ll get a feel for what goes on. Appreciate them, don’t demonize them. Layer upon layer of distraction. They are woven into each other. And micro and macro and everything in between. Ingenious minds work that way. Just be mindful how these mechanisms are working in society. Notice the structures built by society and culture and how they reinforce and play into these traps and make them worse. Again the mistake would be demonizing society or people for inventing it. Realize it’s a mich larger force than any one individual, government, culture. Overarching force of ignorance, this whole process is the universe becoming conscious of itself. It starts from a process of low consciousness moving to high consciousness. Always a struggle seen through history. Not linear upward, wavy with upwards trend, and you don’t know you’re at the bottom. Not telling you to become a workaholic or a moralist, or to become religious, or to become anal and deny yourself the pleasures of life. The whole point of abstaining lower consciousness rhings is so you can get to the higher consciousness things. Highest consciousness then everything becomes joy, it circles around. In a sense spirituality is the most hedonistic way to live, but its the opposite when you start out. Lower consciousness you have to cherrypick, and all happiness becomes continent on me successfully cherrypicking the right stuff. Distraction doesn’t mean “quit it”, watch it. Leo recognizes actualized.org is a distraction, watch out actualized.org doesn’t become a distraction for you. It can be overused. There is a fine balancing act here. No one can tell you the right balance for you, you have to discover it as part of the growth process. [—> Balance in PD]

List of 300+ emotions and definitions: https://designepiclife.com/list-of-emotions/ AGFLAP-CAP List of emotions (Used for example with The Sedona Method): http://www.mastersofuniverse.net/agflap-cap-list List of Emotions from Byron Katie (to be used for example with The Work): https://thework.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Emotions_List_Ltr.pdf Also available in many more languages by clicking on the download button on this site: https://thework.com/ @Nahm shared this Emotions Scale: (somewhat similar to David Hawkins Map of Consciousness: https://avatarconsciousness.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/map-of-conciousness.jpg) Bodily Map of Emotions:

For anyone seeking a reason why to live passionately. Just attended this free course called Lifebook Masterclass, hosted by Mindvalley: https://www.mindvalley.com/lifebook/online/masterclass Benefits: Get your ass inspired! Get it really inspired! You can do it! (and it seems like it outlines a lot of structural similairty to Leo's Life Purpose course, though different) I know it's also serves the purpose of a sales video, although inspiring and good content. Sorry if this somehow violates any forum guidelines, don't mean to.

Y E L L O W Futures Thinking - 6 Pillars: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRCRwfC2qsFE29r-o8FPooA

Given Leo's elite universities are a scam blog post. Share your most insightful/ helpful/ no-BS speeches and advice given to students, graduates, etc.

What I find most remarkable about actualized.org is that Leo actually embodies and uses the things he shares is his videos. For example watching the Life Purpose Course after watching the Spiral Dynamics videos makes me laugh seeing how Leo uses the exact same words mentioned in the series which resonate with Green and Orange. It got all recontextualized. There already were parts that took us meta on what’s going on here (for example why this isn’t a cult). Titles: actualized.org — The Making Of actualized.org — How the Sausage gets made actualized.org — Behind the Scenes To cover: - running a high consciousness business (whom you work with... ) - how you think about the art of it (thumbnails, ...) - what you think about shooting video, how you choose topics, how you serve your niche, ... ... If anyone has better behind the scenes topic ideas, add below. Already covered in other videos: How I do research. Inspired by the Content vs Structure Episode. Show us how this sausage gets made Or maybe this is an idea for Patreon. Thanks for the amazing content.

And Part 2! btw. for a brief text only summary of Part 1: CultPsychology2-nometa.pdf

Here's Cult Psychology Part 1 and Part 2 For the most part these are hand-written notes with doodles (.pdf cause .docx is too big in size for an upload) CultPsychology1-nometa.pdf

Explicit vs Implicit Understanding Explicit-vs-Implicit-Understanding.docx