Therock

Izmir/Turkey, rare blue, mostly orange, some green. Depends on the neighborhood.

That's what I started to do. I spend most of my time with men now, doing manly stuff like working out, talking about manly stuff. Even though sometimes it's too freaking uncomfortable. Haha hello brother! I never wanted to call it very sensitive, but definitely a lot of avoidance of potential conflict. I often use humor to make it seem cooler, but I think people often sense that I'm not fully comfortable when it's all silent. And it's not the case when I first meet them, it's the case when I get closer to people and share parts of my life. This is where I start feeling more vulnerable I guess. I think constantly being mindful of the fear while I'm pushing myself will eventually lead to dissolve it, it'll hopefully turn out to be love with wisdom. The bad thing about that is that I started thinking about my fears all the time, which doesn't lead to any wisdom but frustration. It'll take time, every fear lose it's power when deeply realized.

Thank you for the answers. @universe@Dlavjr Over time, with psychedelics, meditation and the inner-work (thanks to @Leo Gura). I've come to the conclusion that I used my success of women to cope with other men (to show higher rank in a sense). Because I was abused and bullied by other men when I was little. As some say, all actions, decisions are based on either desire and fear. Fear: Conflict with other men (not being accepted by the tribe) Desire: To be comfortable with other men

One of my favorite inspirational songs

I've been practicing cold approach in a small city in Europe, and I've had so many success in terms of pick up. At first it was all about getting over my fears and insecurities with women. But there's something negative that's hard to describe after each one of these relationships. Which is the emptiness, feeling miserable after having meaningless sex with women. I never wanted to have a womenizer or a pickup artist identity. And I lost my motivation in speaking to women, even worse, I lost my self confidence. And I wanted to have something meaningful with one of my sexual partners, but she wasn't ready, so we stopped seeing each other. (It was a very needy conversation) After all these, I'm experiencing self-hatred. Depression and disappointment. I'd love you to share your experiences in this case, Being optimistic is always good, but how about when you face the reality? Is this neediness ever gonna end? Or should we learn how to deal with that in a healthy way? (Please don't say find a life purpose, as I'm also working on it)

Seems pretty cool thanks! Better not act out of prejudice...