Davidess

@Carl-Richard According to the book "Internal Family Systems Therapy" by R. C. Schwarz and M. Sweezy (https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Second/dp/B0D6NHXN29), there's an entire section about how to do IFS with external (physical) families. According to the book, doing IFS with external families can facilitate doing IFS, since, "burdens" and "manager/firefighter" parts are usually internalised from external (physical) families and doing IFS with families can facilitate letting go of the "burdens" and dysfunctional roles of parts that want to commit suicide, because the parts are more easily going to let go of dysfunctional roles since the therapist shows the parts that there's no more danger (if there is none) to participate in dysfunctional roles.

I'm a med student and I have an oral exam (from histology and embryology) in 6 days. The exam consists of 150 questions, from which I draw 3 (almost every question is A4 page long). The problem is that even though I want to study consciously, I hold a belief "No matter what I do, it never turns out for me". My average is studying 6 hours/day this week (it's better than it was), but I can study longer and it’s necessary. Even if I try to study, I experience enormous resistance in my mind after few hours (btw I take breaks). This resistance is emotional, it’s not that I’m exhausted. It's more like I'm unwilling to study. I'm retaking this exam from winter semester, because the same thing happened in winter (I didn't study in winter, because of this belief). I should have done all my summer semester exams by now (biochemistry, physiology, immunology), but I'm stuck with histology. I postponed my summer semester exams into august. This belief was mentioned in Teal Swan’s video about self-discipline. And I recognize having this belief. What do I do to change it? Acting like I don't have this belief doesn't help. What I feel like should be done is to change this belief at the level of mind first, not acting differently. Anyone got ideas? I'd be really thankful. Edit: It may look like a contradiction that I study 6 hours a day and I complain, but I feel like I need to use so much willpower to study because of this belief.

Thank you

I agree with @StarStruck... Objectifying other people in porn will make your subconscious believe it's okay to be objectified. And hence you'll attract those experiences into your life. From my perspective it's not harmful per se. It's about what experiences you want to attract into your life. Plus, (in an extreme case) you can make your brain associate orgasm with people on the screen and not even go hard with a real partner. The only way it's harmful (from my perspective) is only when people already seek out those "harmful experiences". A healthy person wouldn't seek out rape on porn anyway (even though you can't find any rape in normal porn sides, this stuff is censored).

@lostingenosmaze I was referring to her last message. You have to see through the illusion of words to hear what is she really saying. Words are prone to misinterpretation. They are simply noises, utterances. They often come from a place of deep understanding. It's up to you to see that. Simply ask yourself how can this be true? In what way? And in what way is it false? You have to derive the truth for yourself, because no-one can do that process for you. However, you can be inspired by others. This is actually what stage orange means in human psyche - independence of thought, innovation...(some of many characteristics).

@Princess Arabia Very interesting perspective and kind of refreshing, actually. I haven't looked at it this way. I'm usually passive observer of the forum but this time I had to comment.

I recommend reading Letting Go by David R. Hawkins ? You'll slowly lose resistance towards your feelings and you'll begin to think straight.

I've just stumbled upon Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, had his book in library for two years, I opened it now, releasing emotions helps me think more clearly!I realized that I have lot of fears and anger towards approaching women... Also, I have a lot of unreleased baggage from the past.

I've done about 50 approaches, most of them were indirect (asking for direction to the place I know or telling them that I'd like to know them without the premise that I like them sexually). However, I've also done direct approaches and they didn't go so well. The girls seem creeped out - after Hello and a pause and getting their attention I just tell them: 'I like you, I like to know you'. And the girls with their vibe say: 'Who tf are you' and they tell me that they have a BF or that they are not interested. Is this how it always is in the beginning? I must admit that I say it like a robot? Daygame for me feels like a meat grinder. However, when I do the approach, it's like nothing. It's just when I am in the field focusing on approaching. Also, I feel weird approaching every girl (let's say on the scale at least 5 out of 10) I see. Is this unethical? I feel like a desperate guy or a sociopath, who doesn't think how other people feel, I feel like I'm disturbing their private space. What do you think? It's just my programming or it's how it is always for everyone?

@Karmadhimy social skills are pretty good, I study at a University, so I meet a lot of new people. I don't want to approach at Uni because it's relatively small (we don't have a campus or a similar thing sort of). I get along with friendly interactions pretty well, it's just with flirting and sexual interactions that I get nervous and uncomfortable... Even in the past when girls that liked me usually dumped me after two weeks telling me that I don't know how to date, they felt repelled eventually. I also rejected girl that was into me, we just made out a few times, she invited me home, but she didn't want to have sex, she told me that we'll have sex but not today, so I gave it a shot and I didn't feel the chemistry, I rejected her also because I wanted to learn game and get more of options, she was like 5 out of 10, in retrospect I could make it work with her, but I didn't want to at the time, the issue was she was 'independent' and made me feel like she didn't need me emotionally, she felt more like a guy friend. And I wasn't horny for sex yet? @The0SelfThanks, I'll write it on my big white board that I have in my room? @Razethanks!

@Karmadhi Yeah, get the basics down first ? @Eyowey That would surely help me, thanks? @supremeyingyang You exceeded the threshold it seems like, I guess that works like that in pickup as well? Thanks for all the answers I did just two approaches today, and I got an Instagram from a girl, however she was in a rush, we talked for a 20s, so I think it's a flaky IG. The second girl politely rejected me and told me she has a boyfriend, even said sorry. I guess that were better approaches than the previous ones. Going to do more when I go out next time, probably a night game this time, we'll see.

Thanks, I'll check it out ?

@flowboyGood thing you posted this, I've just done parts work on myself and integrated a part of me - the part I fell in love with before. I knew about parts work before, but I forgot about it. The part I integrated didn't even know my current circumstances, it lived in the past, as you described. It felt like my identity changed completely. Gotta jump into reading that book! Thanks ?

I remember Teal Swan saying something similar in one of her videos. I also remember her saying that you can integrate that lost part through parts work. Where did you get this information from? A book, a video? I'd like to look more into that.

I'd really like to learn game, but the problem is that I live in a small city of 90k people. I'm a guy, 20 y.o., studying at university unable to move out to a bigger city because I don't have the money yet and I'm still dependent on my parents. I'll finish my degree at 26 y.o. and I don't want to wait till then... (I'm studying medicine which takes 6 years, I'm from central Europe) Day game is really difficult here because there aren't much girls around, especially nowdays, when people are off school, during Holidays. Night game is an option, but the thing is, how am I supposed to make this work? The night clubs are really crowded and there are usually 15 people per square meter (which I view as a lot) and I have no chance to isolate a girl and most girls are with their friends -> I find it awkward to talk to a group of girls because how am I gonna justify it to them? When I'm talking to a single girl I can just tell her that I like her, but to a group? I can't just tell that I like a single girl, or can I? Is this how nightclubs are in other cities? Crowded, you can't see your own feet... I find it to be not a good place to meet girls, since most girls are with guys or came to have fun with their friends, but the thing is, what else is there? Nothing really in my city. I'd appreciate your perspective on this, whether I'm missing something or just overthinking and whether I should go to clubs more often. Not learning game is not an option for me.

Report of the night: I went to a nightclub by myself and was there for 3 hours. Approached few girls, talked to them for a bit and then backed off, since I had nothing more to say I and I didn't want to be awkward. I was walking through the nightclub back and forth and an older woman (in her 30s/40s) approached me and told me that I can join her group because she saw me walking alone and I was not in the mood. Kinda interesting ?. Was I that awkward? Met a few people I know from high school I went to, year younger. At first I felt uncomfortable, when I talked to girls I felt the urge to ask them logical questions. It showed me potential how much I can improve my game. Thanks guys for points of view. Actually, the Uni I go to is not in my home town, it's 30 minutes away by train. It's a larger city of 240k people. But now for 6 weeks I don't have school, just exams. I really can spend more time socialising at Uni. That's a good idea. I'll try to do my best with what I have.

Oh, really? Then I might try something today, really push myself.?

I went out yesterday, and my goal was to do one approach. I didn't do it. When i got off the train, I was a beautiful girl who was behind me. I could've approached her, but I didn't do it.? I had two hours left till last train was leaving. And I saw another girl then, my excuse was that she wasn't that beautiful (in retrospect I could've approached her). Then I was beautiful two girls in a mall but how do I approach two girls? I've done it before but I don't how to handle that yet... My only success was that I didn't use headphones and I was feeling uncomfortable because of it. Thinking about how often do I go out? Like 5 times a week should be okay. And what about nightclubs? I've tried that but I have no idea how to approach in there. There's usually so many people in one place dancing and I'd like to approach but there are girls who are in groups and I don't know how to approach that. I only know how to approach girls who go by themselves and that's a rarity I think.

Hello, I'm currently 19 years old and I'd like to start pickup. I'm becoming more and more frustrated with my sexuality, since I'm a virgin. I've had some dating success earlier, but it didn't go anywhere. I'm entering University now in September, so I think it's perfect time to begin again. My options to approach: home city which is about 90k people and the city which the University is in, about 240k people. It's about 40km from my home city and I get there for free by train. That's all I get to work with and it's so frustrating for me because I'd like to live in a larger city because of improving my game, but I can't, since I'm basically broke because I don't make any money because I don't have a job and I'm a student. ?

I'm still in high school (although I'm graduating in two weeks) and my question is, how do I pull if I still live with my parents? I'm 19 and I can't financially support myself yet. I've been on couple of dates recently from cold approach and I didn't pull because my parents were home. Do you think it's a good idea to take girls outside a city to a forest (though I think that's creepy to do on a first date, maybe take her there after a while?) and start making out with them there? I know some spots in my city that are quite isolated. I live in a relatively small city (about 90k people) and in autumn I'm going to a university in a larger city (about 400k people) and I will be living in a dormitory. Do you have any ideas on how to pull girls more easily?

Thanks guys for advice

Minecraft's new update looks stage greeny to me. It's called Minecraft Infinity update. Over 2 bilion new dimensions with lot of creative art.

I highly recommend Coach Corey Wayne and his book How to be a 3% man.

I'm 17 years old high school INTP student and I've come to a point in my life where most of my thoughts and desires are about women and socializing. I descoved Leo a year ago and I've learned a lot from him since then. I've already done a lot of self-help work because I was very shy and unconfident in my past. I come from Blue/Orange Christian background (I love my parents, they've been supporting me a lot, we've learned a lot together). In last year I've encountered a lot of emotional obstacles and they've made me to love and accept myself like never before... So, in this journal I'll write about my progress with pickup. I've known about pickup for a long time, but now I commit to it 100%. I've already done a couple approaches and I came down to conclusion that this is a thing I'm focusing on in next years. My favourite pickup, dating and realtionship coach is Corey Wayne, I've read his book "How to be a 3% man" already five times (atleast 10 times left). Another channel about attraction stuff is YT channel "Develop attraction", I've bought their book and read it just once. And many others (RSD, Todd, Don Bacon, James Marshall, Dynamic Education [this one is in Czech language], etc...) . Other channels that I follow are Teal Swan and Ralph Smart (emotional mastery, spiritual development, self-awareness...), and of course Leo (I love his philosophy and his teachings, made me cry couple of times ), Joseph Rodrigues and a lot of other channels. And I have bought RSD Max's course, The Natural, which I study. I can practise pickup and socializing in 2 cities (with 90k and 240k people, I live near the 90k one, they're the largest I can afford to go to, they are 40 minutes away from each other with train transport, in my country I have free train tickets for slow trains as a student which is perfect for me). I don't find clubs and bars attractive, altough I may try them in a future. In this journal I'll write about my insights and my progress. Current goals to accomplish: make atleast 10 approaches a week (funny thing is that I'm in a city almost every day, this number is possible to accomplish in one day) consciously setting time for approaching women atleast 3/4 times a week (WED, FRI, SAT/SUN), otherwise I'll just approach when I'm coming home from school or just when hanging around make this approaching part of my daily basis meeting my social, sexual needs becoming more emotionally independent (interdependent?) daily "do nothing meditation" (20 mins minimum) practising mindfulness integrating my shadows I project onto others slowly eliminating distractions and unnecessary addictions becoming more authentic, expressive person becoming aware of my emotions and thoughts, observing them (disidentifying from them) aligning with my truest desires changing my beliefs about realationships, women, socializing connecting with people and self-actualising, improving my social, emotional awareness having multiple sexual relationships General Tactics: no fap (once a week fap) approaching before my mind can stop me learning from my mistakes, being able to not be perfect, so I can learn displaying masculine energy (with integrated [(transended the duality?) feminine] using "negative" emotions to fuel my actions focusing both on results and progress adjusting my tactics towards goals I want to accomplish feeling results before I can "see" them in physical form I wish myself good luck!?

Todays number of approaches: 4 (daygame) ✔Things I did right: Approached without hesitation In my 1st set I was spontaneous! I silenced my mind Open was callibrated I speaked clearly I wasn't so nervous ❌Things I did wrong: Left sets too early In other 3 sets I wasn't spontaneous My body language wasn't up tight Didn't get to premise Didn't contunue in coversation All approaches were indirect ↗Things to improve: It doesn't matter what you say as an opener, be spontaneous Stay in sets longer Try direct approaches! Train eye contact Try to approach women who are alone by themselves (all four approaches were group approaches of 2 girls) You can(could) do more approaches Learn to build the conversation up