Davidess

@Carl-Richard According to the book "Internal Family Systems Therapy" by R. C. Schwarz and M. Sweezy (https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Second/dp/B0D6NHXN29), there's an entire section about how to do IFS with external (physical) families. According to the book, doing IFS with external families can facilitate doing IFS, since, "burdens" and "manager/firefighter" parts are usually internalised from external (physical) families and doing IFS with families can facilitate letting go of the "burdens" and dysfunctional roles of parts that want to commit suicide, because the parts are more easily going to let go of dysfunctional roles since the therapist shows the parts that there's no more danger (if there is none) to participate in dysfunctional roles.

Thank you

I'm a med student and I have an oral exam (from histology and embryology) in 6 days. The exam consists of 150 questions, from which I draw 3 (almost every question is A4 page long). The problem is that even though I want to study consciously, I hold a belief "No matter what I do, it never turns out for me". My average is studying 6 hours/day this week (it's better than it was), but I can study longer and it’s necessary. Even if I try to study, I experience enormous resistance in my mind after few hours (btw I take breaks). This resistance is emotional, it’s not that I’m exhausted. It's more like I'm unwilling to study. I'm retaking this exam from winter semester, because the same thing happened in winter (I didn't study in winter, because of this belief). I should have done all my summer semester exams by now (biochemistry, physiology, immunology), but I'm stuck with histology. I postponed my summer semester exams into august. This belief was mentioned in Teal Swan’s video about self-discipline. And I recognize having this belief. What do I do to change it? Acting like I don't have this belief doesn't help. What I feel like should be done is to change this belief at the level of mind first, not acting differently. Anyone got ideas? I'd be really thankful. Edit: It may look like a contradiction that I study 6 hours a day and I complain, but I feel like I need to use so much willpower to study because of this belief.

I agree with @StarStruck... Objectifying other people in porn will make your subconscious believe it's okay to be objectified. And hence you'll attract those experiences into your life. From my perspective it's not harmful per se. It's about what experiences you want to attract into your life. Plus, (in an extreme case) you can make your brain associate orgasm with people on the screen and not even go hard with a real partner. The only way it's harmful (from my perspective) is only when people already seek out those "harmful experiences". A healthy person wouldn't seek out rape on porn anyway (even though you can't find any rape in normal porn sides, this stuff is censored).

@lostingenosmaze I was referring to her last message. You have to see through the illusion of words to hear what is she really saying. Words are prone to misinterpretation. They are simply noises, utterances. They often come from a place of deep understanding. It's up to you to see that. Simply ask yourself how can this be true? In what way? And in what way is it false? You have to derive the truth for yourself, because no-one can do that process for you. However, you can be inspired by others. This is actually what stage orange means in human psyche - independence of thought, innovation...(some of many characteristics).

@Princess Arabia Very interesting perspective and kind of refreshing, actually. I haven't looked at it this way. I'm usually passive observer of the forum but this time I had to comment.

I recommend reading Letting Go by David R. Hawkins ? You'll slowly lose resistance towards your feelings and you'll begin to think straight.

I've just stumbled upon Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, had his book in library for two years, I opened it now, releasing emotions helps me think more clearly!I realized that I have lot of fears and anger towards approaching women... Also, I have a lot of unreleased baggage from the past.

@Karmadhimy social skills are pretty good, I study at a University, so I meet a lot of new people. I don't want to approach at Uni because it's relatively small (we don't have a campus or a similar thing sort of). I get along with friendly interactions pretty well, it's just with flirting and sexual interactions that I get nervous and uncomfortable... Even in the past when girls that liked me usually dumped me after two weeks telling me that I don't know how to date, they felt repelled eventually. I also rejected girl that was into me, we just made out a few times, she invited me home, but she didn't want to have sex, she told me that we'll have sex but not today, so I gave it a shot and I didn't feel the chemistry, I rejected her also because I wanted to learn game and get more of options, she was like 5 out of 10, in retrospect I could make it work with her, but I didn't want to at the time, the issue was she was 'independent' and made me feel like she didn't need me emotionally, she felt more like a guy friend. And I wasn't horny for sex yet? @The0SelfThanks, I'll write it on my big white board that I have in my room? @Razethanks!

@Karmadhi Yeah, get the basics down first ? @Eyowey That would surely help me, thanks? @supremeyingyang You exceeded the threshold it seems like, I guess that works like that in pickup as well? Thanks for all the answers I did just two approaches today, and I got an Instagram from a girl, however she was in a rush, we talked for a 20s, so I think it's a flaky IG. The second girl politely rejected me and told me she has a boyfriend, even said sorry. I guess that were better approaches than the previous ones. Going to do more when I go out next time, probably a night game this time, we'll see.

Thanks, I'll check it out ?

I've done about 50 approaches, most of them were indirect (asking for direction to the place I know or telling them that I'd like to know them without the premise that I like them sexually). However, I've also done direct approaches and they didn't go so well. The girls seem creeped out - after Hello and a pause and getting their attention I just tell them: 'I like you, I like to know you'. And the girls with their vibe say: 'Who tf are you' and they tell me that they have a BF or that they are not interested. Is this how it always is in the beginning? I must admit that I say it like a robot? Daygame for me feels like a meat grinder. However, when I do the approach, it's like nothing. It's just when I am in the field focusing on approaching. Also, I feel weird approaching every girl (let's say on the scale at least 5 out of 10) I see. Is this unethical? I feel like a desperate guy or a sociopath, who doesn't think how other people feel, I feel like I'm disturbing their private space. What do you think? It's just my programming or it's how it is always for everyone?

@flowboyGood thing you posted this, I've just done parts work on myself and integrated a part of me - the part I fell in love with before. I knew about parts work before, but I forgot about it. The part I integrated didn't even know my current circumstances, it lived in the past, as you described. It felt like my identity changed completely. Gotta jump into reading that book! Thanks ?

I remember Teal Swan saying something similar in one of her videos. I also remember her saying that you can integrate that lost part through parts work. Where did you get this information from? A book, a video? I'd like to look more into that.

Report of the night: I went to a nightclub by myself and was there for 3 hours. Approached few girls, talked to them for a bit and then backed off, since I had nothing more to say I and I didn't want to be awkward. I was walking through the nightclub back and forth and an older woman (in her 30s/40s) approached me and told me that I can join her group because she saw me walking alone and I was not in the mood. Kinda interesting ?. Was I that awkward? Met a few people I know from high school I went to, year younger. At first I felt uncomfortable, when I talked to girls I felt the urge to ask them logical questions. It showed me potential how much I can improve my game. Thanks guys for points of view. Actually, the Uni I go to is not in my home town, it's 30 minutes away by train. It's a larger city of 240k people. But now for 6 weeks I don't have school, just exams. I really can spend more time socialising at Uni. That's a good idea. I'll try to do my best with what I have.