SQAAD

I usually sleep from 6 to 7.5 hours. Be wary for people telling you that you should sleep X amount of hours every single night. The truth is that nobody knows exactly how many hours a person should sleep. I find it that if i am very active all day then i tend to sleep more compared to if i sit on a computer all the time.

How conscious is he? His level of Consciousness seems to be the average of every American i would say. I think he is an interesting case to study. Lol. An analysis of his ego is worth it to understand the average modern man in Western societies. Or maybe this is just a distraction.

@Leo Gura Lol

@Opo For the most part i was taking trt dosages and not abusing. It's called blast and cruise. The reason i can compare is because before i began using steroids, i tested my Testosterone. It was normal but also towards the low side. And because i was heavily influenced by other youtubers i found the perfect excuse to start using steroids. All i wanted was that excuse because i really wanted to try steroids. I was perfectly fine and healthy with the T levels i normaly had. He is doing it because he believes it will make him feel better while working. His test wasn't that low to cause serious problems. He didn't even have major symptoms. But ok let's say he felt he needed to have better testosterone levels and be more optimal. That's understandable. But his first approach was to start taking testosterone without addressing the root cause which may be his Kratom abuse. That's the problem right there. If he had tried everything and after few months his T was still low , then he could say ''fk it , i tried everything, trt is my last solution''. Injecting testosterone and being dependent on it for the rest of your life is serious. Imagine being 80 years old and having to inject yourself. But even if you do patches, you still have to monitor that sh*t until you die. It's a very serious life-long commitment. Not a decision to be made lightly.

sss

Unfortunately the media acts like this sh*t isn't happening everyday to Mexico. They don't even report it on the news. Most people i know are totally ignorant about this. I believe something serious must be done with the situation in Mexico. The situation in Mexico is really on a whole another level and unheard of. Why nobody is talking about this? What the fk is going on? Meanwhile Jeff Bezos is flying to space. (The absurdity of it all). ... Drug kingpins for example in other countries don't butcher each other this way. Yes they kill each other with pistols but not this way. The problem with Mexico is the BILLIONS of drug money that they make every year from selling to USA. Unless all drugs are made legal and you can buy them at your pharmacy then this horrendous stuff will keep on happening. Just watching some of those videos will hunt you for the rest of your life for good. This is very serious. When you think it doesn't get any worse, it does. The worst is the funkytown video. I haven't watched it besides a commentary of it. The commentary was enough to frighten me and cause me anxiety and terror. Just the sheer brutality of it is on a scope that i couldn't ever imagine existing. Now i have to to live and keep on with my life knowing that this stuff exists. This quote is definitely true -->''Ignorance is a bliss''.

@Loba That's a good point! I think you are right. Lol now i feel better because someone understands me.

@AdamR95 Interesting!!

@roopepa Great advice. To be honest, if i had the power right now, i would probably detonate a nuclear weapon in Mexico and wipe out all those sick motherf**** animals. That's how i feel right now. I know that by doing something like this, i would also be creating evil but i'm just being honest.

@AdamR95 Ι can view cold showers as merely a sensation but i can't do the same with a knife hacking through my body. It's just on another level. I have tried practicing what you said with cold showers and it worked. But when i try to do the same with a toothache it did not work. The toothache was simply unbearable for me. Also we need to make a distinction between suffering and pain.

@Leo Gura Damn.. this Love is too much. Too much....

@AdamR95 I judge it from their reactions and from direct experience. For example i have cut myself in the fingers and i can imagine the kind of pain. I can sort of estimate what it would be like. The reactions from the people are usually screams. Which can be a good indicator of what's going on. I think suffering and pain are bad and that cannot be changed. Bad i mean that we don't like it automaticaly. We are programmed like this and can't escape this. Like i can't escape enjoying an orgasm. It's something built-in already. Reactions can worsen the suffering and pain though, i can agree with that.

@AdamR95 Good points. I believe it will definitely be extremely horrendous going through that insane amount of excruciating pain. Sometimes the victims are even drugged so they cannot lose consciousness. I also think that there are some protective mechanisms and i guess the pain can't be infinite which can be somewhat comforting.. but not really to be honest... From what i've seen they suffer a LOT. Sometimes not so much as you would expect. And yes many choose to surrender. I really can't know how the body deals with pain when something so horrendous is happening. Maybe you somewhat lose the sense of pain after a while. I really don't know. I have seen some of the people that were being tortured, begging so they can be killed. This is the worst of the worst. The Mexican cartels are the most ruthless and sadistic on planet Earth at this current time. The atrocities that are happening there because of all the billions of drug money is INSANE and mind-boggling.....

@SQAAD Basically i am gonna write here what i wanted to post. I usually avoid watching disturbing content but sometimes the morbid curiosity gets the best of me. It's like my mind really wants to know. Nowadays i will only watch commentaries of disturbing things that have happened to other people. Everytime i watch something disturbing i usually regret it but then i want to repeat the experience. I have been shook to the core of my being by this ridiculous level of pain and suffering. It is so much that it's unimaginable. I am having a hard time accepting that these videos exist especially when non-duality is the case. If non-duality wasn't the case then i wouldn't be bothered that much. It is hard imagining what the guy in this video endured (This is only a commentary of what really happened).. Then even harder imagining being in his shoes. I don't know what to say. How can you accept sh*t like that? This is a tough pill to shallow. This is the worst thing ever. And my worst fear ever. I cannot imagine anything worse. I have binged watched videos of this attached videos's channel. He only narrates what happened and advises people to never watch the real videos. Just watching this content puts you into a real weird state of Consciousness. I can't explain it..Only gore can do that to you psychologically. Nothing else comes even close. Unfortunately i cannot share these concerns i have with other people. They usually just don't wanna listen to it, they don't understand and they just wanna be comfortable and not distressed.

@SQAAD I can't write anything new or change my original post. It says no access to server

@kieranperez I am impressed. It seems like you have a very healthy ego! Respect.

I don't know but i really want to find out for myself.

We are all born sane. But usually we get infected with others people's BS as we grow up. Then we carry on with that infection and our life becomes miserable for no good reason.

@Myagooshki Did you notice any physiological differences though?

@Opo My experience with using steroids was very interesting to say the least. I was using them for 2 years give or take when i was in my early 20s. What lead me to using steroids, was low self-esteem and not feeling good about my body. I was already going to the gym for years at that point and i just wanted to take it to the next level. Definitley i was heavily influenced by numerous youtubers who were also taking gear. Something else that made me wanna take steroids was this picture i was getting from some documentaries and videos that steroids are not that bad for you. And to a certain extent there is some truth to that. Steroids can be used relatively safely but still there were tons of unkowns that i didn't know about. I didn't know about all the risks involved but i thought i did. When you compare your body to a steroid user, usually there is no comparison. That can make you feel bad about yourself. Back then my happiness depended a LOT on how i looked. I was heavy into Stage Orange mentality. So a combination of low self-esteem and being influenced by other steroid users lead me to start using them. In the period when i was taking them , my strength increased to ridiculous unnatural levels and my body looked better than ever. I was going to the gym and bench pressing or squatting the most weight. People were constantly looking at how much weight i was pushing. I was getting compliments . People were asking me for advice. That was highly addicting. The feeling you get from being one of the strongest people. Or waking up and seeing your body change every single day. This is very alluring. Because you constantly see changes. Anyways, after some time i matured, and i no longer wanted to keep taking them. I decided to quit. Thankfully i am in good health now but still there is some fear for all the possible future health complications that i may encounter. If i knew what i know now i would never start using steroids for those reasons. But when you are young, dumb and ignorant you don't know any better. You just crave looking good. Many people fall into this trap. It's inevitable the way our society is. People are constantly being judged about how they look. There is always that pressure of looking the best you can.

I usually eat a salad every day with couple of tomatoes, 2 cucumbers , onions and whatever else i can find. I eat the salad with some rice cakes or oat rusks. Then i'll need to eat something else to keep me full that has some protein. It will be either eggs or yoghurt or something else. Then as a dessert i'll have 3 pieces of fruit. This is a staple meal i almost have every day. Keeps me full for many hours. The second staple meal i'll have, is some sort of protein and fat source like eggs, meat or dairy. And after that i'll eat a big bowl of porridge. Basically i try to get as much protein and fiber with every meal so i can be full for long periods of time.

What will heal your OCD is stopping doing Compulsions. That is the bottom line. You must stop engaging with your mind and trying to get reassurance and certainty. Yes it will be hell for a little while but if you're suffering from OCD your life is already a living hell that i wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. OCD is one of the worst things that can happen to someone. I know from personal experience. Because i have sufferred and recovered from this terrible terrible condition. Psychedelics could help you see some dysfunctional patterns and loops that you are getting stuck on. But from my personal experience what has helped the most is learning to live with uncertainty, CBT and watching helpful resources like these from people who have actually suffered from OCD themselves and recovered. Meditation can help you stop reacting to thoughts also which is always a good practice. Watching and acting on this information over the last 2 years has completely transformed my life for the better. Everyday i used to suffer enormously from anxiety and uncertainty. Nowadays almost every day is a good day for me. I feel blessed.

Shunyamurti says that DeJavus are happening because you have experienced this life infinite times already. So sometimes you remember.

I watch him also. Very cool dude.

@kieranperez Dude you are completely missing the point. I know from 1st hand experience.Who is the one thar draws the line between good and bad reasons? Myself ofcourse. People's motivations is the best criteria to judge them. When i see someone on YouTube being irresponsible and influencing thousands of other kids who will be doing the same sh*t 5 years from now , then of course i am gonna criticize that. It would be better if he came out and said something like Instead of what he said here PsychedSubstance can do whatever he wants. But he is a public figure. He is gonna get criticized. You can judge my criticisms of him as valid or invalid. But at the end of the day, everyone will have their own preconceptions about what is good or bad.