SQAAD

@lmfao Personally I don't really want to ever kill myself because I love life despite the enormous struggle. Generally I don't have suicidal thoughts But when my life gets really really bad then my mind considers suicide as a viable option. I prefer to outgrow my problems and not give up. Still though there is a breaking point. If you pass it then you can end up killing yourself no matter who you are. People don't understand that those who end up killing themselves are extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely desperate. Your body has this self preservation instinct. It doesn't easily let you end your life. The desperation has to be so severe just so you can override your self preservation instincts.

@Terell Kirby Most times suicide comes from lack of Love but not always. If you end up in a super super extreme shitt* situation with not much hope left then suicide is your only way out. You can end up killing yourself even if you love yourself just bc the suffering is too much to handle and all hope is lost.

Check Thomas Keating centering prayer on YouTube . He was a Christian mystic who recently passed away. Prayer is definitely a spiritual practice helping you connect with God. I usually pray when things get really bad. I just do it to feel better. I don't care if the prayer will manipulate reality.. Prayer shouldn't be so much about scheming to manipulate reality but more about spiritual connection. There are many many different types of prayer. If you find it enjoyable and beneficial keep doing it.

@SelfHelpGuy Basically is Like God is very fair but extremely Brutal. He will give you what you deserve. If you continue being a devil you will suffer enormously just because you will be creating your own misery. And God won't save your a**. He will let you suffer until willingly you change your old ways. It's extremely brutal because God will let you go to the depths of hell if you wish to. He won't stop it. But let's not forget the Goodness. There are always signs from God. And we all know sometimes how to end the suffering but we continue our old ways regardless until we are forced to change by too much pain. Pain is another way Goodness is expressed.

@SelfHelpGuy I think fear can be a really good motivator but it has been associated with negative things. I agree with the idea of positive motivators such as Love. But many times the best motivator, the only motivator that works in certain situations is extreme fear. Tell a cigarette addict that he has a serious health condition and watch him transform instantly. As for the death part, I agree with you on some level. When I awaken though I realise that this righ here is death. We are already dead.

@mandyjw This is a great quote.

Consciousness. Which is the same Consciousness for all. But I call it individual Consciousness because it has different qualities for all living beings. Ramana Maharshis individual Consciousness was different that Hitlers.

@Tim R Soul I mean the individual Consciousness which is just the Self. Death I mean the end of this dream. It makes sense that each dream can affect the course of your next dream. Maybe the lessons or deep impressions of this life are fundamental to your next step of evolution into the next life.

@Tim R Basically Karma. I think every action has a consequence. There is no free ride. I think that some characteristics of the soul can survive death into the next reincarnation.

@OneHandClap Nobody escapes karma. Not even The Buddha.

@Judy2 I hope I get this chance to be more loving and selfless as a white rich kid in the suburbs and not as a starving kid in Africa.. But that's just my bias...

Don't do drugs. Only psychedelics. This the reason why:

Sometimes after a strong trip, i begin feeling sad because my ego wants to control God but it can't. And it doesn't want to accept Reality as it is. It prefers Reality was some other fanstastical way where i had more control as God. Even though i know that Reality is already perfect and couldn't be any better, i am still biased against many things and would prefer them otherwise.

@Nahm You are right. Its my ego.

I have been watching mma a decade now and i have noticed many different patterns. Conor McGregor is a great example of what happens when you are underdeveloped psychologically and suddenly you get tons of fame, money and power. His huge ego is part of his success but it will also be his demise. He is not gonna have a good end for sure. Unless he changes his old ways. He has attacked a grandpa at a bar for not accepting his drink. And few days ago he apparently punched a DJ in the face. This is a great video of Conor's psychology and his huge narcissism.

I was off weed for about a year now. And i was doing pretty good. I was meditating consistently every day for 20-40 minutes, was working on my Life Purpose, lost weight, was eating and sleeping a lot better. But 2 days ago i was feeling very very very bad. Probably one of the darkest periods of my life because i was facing some hard truths that i have been avoiding all my life...Generally there was a lot of stress in my life from many many different factors that i couldn't cope with. My main addiction has been with weed for most of my 20s. I began experimenting with drugs in when i was 20 years old. The last 3 years i had some relapses but i was mostly off weed. Because the pain was too much. I am doing better than 3 years ago but i still need help with this addiction. The biggest trigger for me to use weed , is extreme emotional pain. When things get really really bad. I now understand that i need to change my ways but i am afraid to change. I am scared to do certain things that need to be done in order for my life to dramatically improve. I believe i have a solid theoretical foundation, but i need a lot more action taking. I am feeling bad now, anxious and have cravings to smoke weed again. In the past i had a serious weed addiction that wasted 6-7 years of my early 20s. Now i am approaching 30s and i don't want to repeat the same dysfunctional patterns that produces enormous misery in my life for no good reason. I know that i can't control weed and i regret going back to it. I am a very attention to detail person and i get easily fraked out. I always worry about my health when i smoke weed. This makes my situation a LOT worse. Today i even searched into the toilet bin to find some weed to smoke that i threw away the night before. (I know its disgusting, but this is where the disease took me). I have the habit to throw away chocolate or stuff i don't wanna use. It works as a barrier. But with weed it did not work which is scary. This is how serious this addiction is for me, and that's why i feel even worse now. Any advice is highly apprecated.

@Nahm Nobody is sad. There isn't any entity inside me that is sad. But the thoughts create suffering and very difficult emotions.

@Shin I am sure about the mysterious aspect of Reality and the lack of control.

@Nahm Realisation that i am dead, that i don't exist. Realising that i am 'inside' a mysterious dream that i don't control..

@BipolarGrowth Good advice. Thank you.

@catcat69123 I am resisting discomfort and suffering.

@Someone here I don't know why realising God is so painful for the ego at times..... It matures over time though, your taste begins to change.

I have combined Syrian with LSA capsules. Big mistake. It made me not sleep for 2 days in a row and start losing my grip on reality. Its not a good combo for sure. It can lead to an unexpected trip.

Can you please tell me who are your role models?