SQAAD

@yolosmoothie No , i don't feel embarassed by it. I just don't like it because it decreases the quality of my conversations and i can't speak the way i want to speak all the time. Its very distressing not to be able to express yourself as you would like to. I have accepted it but still i worry how it affects my life.

@Leo Gura I don't know if the stutter can be completely eliminated. It is challenging to accept that this obstacle may be there for the rest of your life. That is the biggest thing holding me back at the moment. When i was a kid i had a terrible stutter, but i went to a specialist, did some exercises for 1 year and a half, then my stutter was completely gone away for few years. Which was very impressive. For some people it never goes away and they can only manage it to a certain extent. Then after 4-5 years when i went to high school i started feeling anxious again. And my stutter returned. It didn't return to a severe state like before, but i would find myself too anxious at times to get certain words out. My stutter was to a state where most people would not notice it. And i could work, get a job with this stutter. As i said , still most people don't notice it. Still though it is tough when people think that you are stupid because you are delaying an answer because you can't say it at that moment you wanna say it. Its a terrible experience to not be able to control your speech at times when for others it is effortless. I will start doing some exercises again which i know will help me out. But still i fear approaching people in general because of my stutter. I usually speak well when i am comfortable around people who i know. Some ''experts'' say that suttering is not psychological. I don't know what to believe anymore. I have noticed that if i am anxious i stutter more. When i am calm i never have issues. Maybe these experts are full of sh*t.

@museumoftrees For me all it took was 1 week. I don't think it takes that long for most healthy subjects. Its not that hard of a drug. It doesn't affect dopamine a lot like other drugs. The adenosine receptors should return to normal fairly fast.

@Javfly33 I don't think that it exists such thing as a harmless drug. Some things suggest that coffee may also be neurotoxic. Of course the dosage is always important. It is the dose that makes the poison as they say. I have been in a similar situation like you and now over the last months i have managed to significantly improve my relationship with caffeine. The first thing i did was to to stop coffee cold turkey. Now everyones different. But i didn't react too bad to it. I didn't feel any massive withdraws to be honest. Only the first 3 days were brutal. After few days , you realise that you don't even need coffee. You have all the energy you need without it. It becomes redundant and you view it as such. I was off coffee for like a month, then i began drinking it again but in smaller doses. Now when i wake up, i really don't need that coffee. I don't feel like i need it. I just have it because i am a drug addict and i like the whole ritual (lol). Also every now and then i do 3-5 days where i don't drink any caffeine without getting WD. The fact that you are so sleepy its probably a sign that you are sleep deprived and abusing coffee.... My tip is to wait at 1 and a half hours if you can before drinking your 1st coffee. Because when you wake up, you have tons of cortisol running in your system. You don't need any more. And cortisol should give you the energy you need. Coffee also raises cortisol so it would be a good idea to drink it after your cortisol has decreased a little bit. There isn't any research on this. But from my experience it seems a good idea. If i were to drinki coffee in the morning , i feel like i am pushing my body beyond its limits. My body tells me ''you don't need coffee right now, take it a little later''. Its a very intuitive observation of how my body feels in the morning. You should have tons of energy 1st thing when you wake up. Otherwise you may not be getting enough quality sleep. Don't drink much caffeine because it can reduce your deep sleep by 20% or even more. I only take 120-130mg of caffeine a day. More than that it scews my sleep, the next day i feel groggy and sh*tty and i need even more coffee...

@Bando Leo says that speaking skills are super important and women will reject you if you don't have them. Sometimes i stutter when i speak (it's not very severe and people who don't know me may not notice it). But it can manifest as an inability to speak exactly at the moment i want. I may have to wait or delay an answer for 1-2 seconds or change completely what i wanted to say because a certain word may not come out off my mouth. This makes me even more apprehensive about doing a cold approach. If she rejects my stutter then what's the point of even trying.

@Nahm The thought is not the problem. The main problem was the sensation. The sensation was not discordant.

@Shin I don't have to. I am already dead. This is not life. This is death.

@something_else I don't buy this whole scheme that we all should be confident and macho. Some people are naturally less dominant, less macho and much more feminine. Everyone has his own unique temperament. Imagine if you were to go to the gym, lift 50 pounds on the bench and some other people were making fun of you saying what a weakling you are.. ''You are not a real man unless you lift 300 pounds at least. Otherwise you are a pathetic weakling''. Stuff like that happens every day. Maybe you are fine with being so weak and lifting only 50 pounds at the bench. And you see nothing wrong with it. But no, now you have to change that to earn the approval of other men. Same analogy applies to pickup. I am all about developing yourself and becoming more confident and removing all the toxic junk from someones childhood. But at the same time i see through all this facade in business, relationships and everywhere. Its all just an egoic attemp to manipulate reality so you can get the woman you want, the money you want etc. Its all about acting a certain way, saying the right words, pushing the right buttons. Its more about manipulation than is about authenticity. Not even Leo can be authentic. He can't upload whatever he wants (like live trips) otherwise it will hurt his business. If you are authentic you don't go anywhere in life. Only the most egotistical, clever and manipulative people survive well in this world. Most people change their ways just so they can fit into some certain box, and achieve a certain result. It usually doesn't come from some authentic desire. It is conformity. Let me act this way so i can get the girls i want, the money i want etc. Let me conform to what other people expect from me otherwise i am fked. Its a game nobody can avoid playing. I am not saying that one shouldnt play the game. My point is that its primarily all about manipulations and ploys. When i take mushrooms i always see throught all this facade. All this fake bs. Nobody is truly authentic because it would hurt you survival. We are all ''money sees, monkey does''. Just being part of a society you have to be fake and inauthentic to a large extent in order to survive. You have to trim down the aspects of you that other egoic minds don't like, dont' approve. And enhance the aspects of you that other egoic minds will approve.

Kali Muscle suffers a heart attack from 100% clogged artery. His diet was trash it seems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBSUnrJSmY0

This pickup business is not about being truly authentic and genuine to who you are. Its all a facade. Changing yourself to fit the criteria of other egoic minds so you are not perceived as ''creepy''. Changing how you truly are because you are afraid of getting rejected. Its just jumping throught hoops to achieve a certain result. It has nothing to do with authenticity. Pickup is all about doing whatever will work on the mind of a woman. Changing yourself to fit her needs and desires. Leo is basically telling us that we shouldn't be the way we are. Otherwise we won't attract girls from the social matrix. That is the bottom line. Maybe my authentic self is the shy nerdy type. But no, this is not acceptable. You have to fake it to someone else. And act all macho and confident even if you really don't want to. Imagine if you had to be shy to get laid, then you would just jump through hoops by doing the exact opposite. You would hide your machoness so you could get laid. lol. You are doing whatever neccesary to manipulate the other person. Its manipulation and acting to get the desired result. You do what works. Not what is authentic. If you are authentic people don't like you. Pickup is similar to Robert Greenes Laws of Power where you use techniques to manipulate the other people around you by acting. But i am not blaming pickup. It just doesn't sit well to many higher consciousness people to play all these egoic animalistic survival games. You have to play all these manipulations otherwise women don't respond well. Fake it until you make it. Truth & honesty won't get you laid.

@Nahm No, this is not true. I genuinely experienced and felt a terrible sensation in my head. This sensation then triggered the label/thought ''my brain decaying''. The thought was just a label to the experience. If it was just a thought with no basis i wouldn't take it serious. But in this case it has a serious basis because it represents/symbolises how the sensation felt inside my head.

I think Leo is wrong about his speculations regarding sex. He mentioned in his last video that he was eating a lot of junk food like pizza. And how he hasn't eaten pizza for years. But still he eats food. He just eats different food. So the analogy doesn't apply well to sex in my opinion. From my observations and experiences the more you have sex the more you wanna have sex. Not the opposite. The more you smoke crack cocaine , the more you wanna smoke crack cocaine etc. The more money you earn, the more money you wanna earn. It just doesn't end. Maybe you could get bored having sex with the same person as like eating the same food everyday BUT you would never get tired of having sex with different people everynight. You could do that for eternity, without getting bored or tired of it. Like a drug addict who nevers gets tired of taking drugs. Leo says he doesn't want to be 60 years old and horny. But i don't think that the right strategy to do that is by having lots and lots of sex neccesarily. I understand that it helps to have some experiences fullfilled but after a point its just a hole you can never fill. Millions of people have had sex 1000s of times. And they are in their 60s still wanting it desperately............

@Knowledge Hoarder You can certainly let go of the need for sex. And you will just accomplish the same thing as you would have by having sex. You will still have the desire lol. Either you fullfill the desire or not, still the thirst never gets satiated permanently. But it loses its strength over time if you let go. Maybe after a point, it can be completely transcended, but i don't know. Because there are also hormones involved. Sex is not a desire like desire for ice-cream or pizza. You can certainly never want to eat pizza again. So the solution is not only to have sex. You could also not have sex if you were serious about it. I have experimented with celibacy. My longest streak was 4-5 months. After few weeks i was having sex in my dreams. And my sexual desire was the lowest it had ever been. There were days where i would not think about sex. The only reason i stopped is because of some prostate fear and concerns. I began feeling weird sensations in my prostate. Felt very dissapointed afterwards. Because i had the goal to do it for 1 year. I bet someone who is celibate for years, has less desire for sex than someone who has sex every week.

@Nahm It's not just a thought many times. For example sometimes if i haven't slept well for days i might feel some weird sensations in my head. These sensations feel like my brain is decaying. Then i immediately worry what does this mean. What are the probable consequences. How will it affect my life. What if its something serious etc etc. I don't actively think all these things but still the weird sensations in my head, trigger this big fear i have: of losing my mental capacities. These thoughts i have represent something real. They represent the sensations in the head. Thoughts are language. Sometimes the language represents something true. If i was fearing that some aliens were to abduct me that fear would have zero basis. But in my case, it has some good reasonable foundations. Its super hard not to take the fear of brain damage seriously when.. your head feels it has been damaged....

@Breakingthewall You said it beautifully and made very good points. What you describe here is the whole challenge of being alive. Life is full of enormous challenges. We need to be as strong as possible. Its very emotionally difficult to accept all the bad sh*t that can happen to you. Acceptance is the final stage we reach after lots of emotional and maybe even physical torture. But until then , the ego resists.....We are in a diffucult situation. God means some serious business. It seems to me that i cannot accept certain things yet.. I am afraid for example that if something truly terrible happened ( like getting dementia) and my life became completely unmanageable i would have to kill myself to end the suffering. Thats is my main fear: My life becoming too shitt* to deal with....And by no means i am a suicidal person. I am against it. But i think if anyones life became too sh*tty he would probably consider ending the misery.

@torgeir Yes it is true that people get tired of the bs that goes on with addiction. But trust me , if drug addicts had all the resources in the world, they would probably never quit, not in a million years. If they had all the money in the world, they would die with a needle in their arms or a bong of meth in their mouth. Everything that is pleasurable leads to you wanting it more and more. This is why the solution is to let go of it eventually. Doing the pleasurable activity over and over again only helps in the sense that it produces tons of suffering which motivates you even more to wanna let it go.

Obviously because they are not eating enough.. But why aren't they eating enought? I don't get it.. What is the Psychology behind it?? It's mind boggling to me. Because it seems so counter-intuitive not to do something that is pleasurable.

@roopepa You made some good questions and points. Actually there is an underlying belief behind all of this. I have this belief that ''if i don't check X and control it as much as possible then something bad will happen''.

@Nahm This is impressive. The fear is created by us but it represents something that could or not happen. Thats why it is hard not to take fear seriously... If someone was pointing at me with a gun it would be hard not to fear at that moment. He might or not pull that trigger. I am creating a fear at that moment but it is hard not to. The same analogy applies to everyday life situations.

This is 'real' hardcore science right there. This guy creates legal high. But he always tests them on himself before 'publishing' them on the market lol. Thats hardcore stuff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0NRsaPmVX8

@Nahm The ''i don't know'' part is very difficult for me because i am an obssesive type of person who gets laser focused and stucks on the details. Dealing with uncertainty can be difficult at times bc you wanna make sure nothing bad will happen.. The ego-mind wants to control every possible variable as much as it can. It makes some sense why we don't deal well with uncertainty. Because 20.000 years ago if you had uncertainty about something you heard on the forrest you would probably check and avoid getting eaten alive by some tiger. Lol. This is why i think suffering is a necessary evil. A double-edged sword. My number one goal is mental fitness. So this is why navigating with all these mental obstacles is very important for me. I would like to know how you personally deal with severe fear. You just ignore it? Just recognize it for what it is? Whats your process ?

@Nahm No you don't sound critical. You sound helpful and have good intentions behind what you post. Thank you for the advice :-)

@Nahm I think the fear is in regard mostly with the future for me. There is always a possibility of going through some experiences that you don't wanna go through. There are some possibilities like getting severe brain damage, getting dementia or cancer etc that seems too terrible. You can never say ''oh that won't happen to me''. And its hard to say even ''oh its just a thought''. Yes it is that but that thought symbolises smthing which could happen to you. The challenge of fear and life is that the thing you fear may happen to you. For me what arises usually is a thought of some future scenario accompanied with some terrible terrible feeling in my throat. When i get this terrible feeling its hard for me to continue doing my normal activities. I can do them but its a struggle at times, especially when the fear is 10/10. Luckily i don't fuel the fear by ruminating on it. But when i do stupid sh*t the fear can't be avoided. When i am drinking lots of coffee and sleep few hours, i fear about my health for example. And for good reason, because sometimes i get some terrible sensations in my head tha feel like some sort of brain damage. Lol. All my main fears are concerned around the brain for some reason. I fear more losing my mind and its capabilities rather than getting some other terrible disease. Fear is a good mechanism. But it creates tons of suffering. Thats why it works getting your attention. Anyones life can become miserable in an instant. Lastly my direct experience of past, is all the past memories. I believe past exists. It doesn't exist right now but it has existed before.

@Iesu Sure buddy, whatever you say. I am not your dog & Nice projection there. What you said here, i could say exactly the same thing for you. Probably you must be 12 year old posting something like this. Go watch some gore content and lets see how healthy you will be.

I don't understand this part.. Why do you translate fear this way? I don't agree with that. I can fear losing my house. Yes Its a thought. But this thought could be actualized in the near future. I could also fear losing my mind, and this could also happen and i might end up retarded or in an insane asylym forever. By my mind i mean ''the intelligent and smooth way my thoughts patterns, processing speed, understanding and etc work together in harmony''. In this moment depression is a thought. But when i experienced it, it was not just a thought. It was a terrible terrible terrible state to be in. @Nahm