SQAAD

@RMQualtrough This makes some sense.. When i trip on medium dose of shrooms my experience tends to be more crystal clear.. with not much confusion floating around.... Only problem is that shrooms are illegal in my country and i have to risk getting them while LSA is legal....

@RMQualtrough For me the most difficult trip, is the one where at the end you are like ''wtf just happened''. Those are the hardest trips. You are left with uncertainty and fear... You are left with even more questions that before lol. Maybe you are right about the random part. I don't know. I don't feel that what i've experienced was BS but it was diffucult to wrap my head around what was happening... Sometimes a trip can be very crystal clear. Other time its very confusing.

Leo says that there is no difference between real and unreal, real and illusion. What does that mean though , i don't understand. If i imagine a lion walking in my room right now, that is imaginary. It stops being after i stop imagining it. Also there is no possibility that this lion could ever hurt me. But my room for example, never goes away unless i leave from it. That is a huge difference right there between real and imaginary. This distinction about real vs imaginary can go into dangerous territories because you can believe whatever fantasies, imaginations you like this way. Surely the substance of reality can be one thing but still there is a huge difference between actual things and pure fantasies/delusions. If it weren't such a difference we would all end up in insane asylyms.

@RMQualtrough Yes it is valid point that your mind creates distinctions and some people make more distinctions than others. But those distinctions are grounded on something. They are not grounded on thin air. The reality you experience doesn't depend on the distinctions (on some level). But the distinctions depend on reality. The color red is distinct from the color blue. Whether i make that distinction is irrelevant. I could notice that or not notice that. But if i don't notice that, that doesn't make red the same as blue. That is my point. Those distinctions are always grounded on reality. To say that there no distinctions unless you make them is not true.

@Leo Gura When you say there are no differences without giving any explanation whatsoever, then it can be quite complicated . So what is your point actually? Do you mean that there are no distinctions in Reality until your mind projects them onto Reality? I think the mind is making these distinctions because things are actually different. It is not like those distinctions don't actually exist or exist only inside your mind. You can see reality as one thing , without making distinctions but that doesn't make everything the same. Having sex or dying from cancer has inherently different qualities to it whether your mind makes those dinstcions or not. Even if you did not make distinctions, reality would still be the case.

I've watched the last video of Leo and i don't understand some things. Basically his solipsism goes out the window but at the same he still insists on it. I really don't know what to make of this. I don't know how he defines solipsism so maybe there is some misunderstanding. But how can you admit that you can't know whether other bubbles exists (finally he admits that) and then still insist that your Consciousness is Absolute. This does not make any sense whatsoever. And then he goes on imagining, fantasizing about connecting with other bubbles and not taking seriously the distinction between fantasy and reality. This is dangerous territory right there. Some of Leos latest teaching have become really dangerous to my mental health. I am starting to seriously consider all the accusations of him being a cult leader. He certainly knows which buttons to push. But i always defended him. Now i am starting to think that maybe it is time to leave this abusive relationship. This is how it feels the last couple of years.

@ZzzleepingBear The opposite can be directly observed. Take an imaginary butcher knife and try to cut your tongue. Now do the same with a real butcher knife. That is the difference right there. That is direct experience right there. That is truth right there. What no difference are you talking about? If you mean that both the imaginary knife and the real one are made of Consciousness, then ok with that.

@nistake Denying differences goes contrary to my direct experience. It is not a matter of logic. If someone sees or experiences no obvious difference between torture and eating ice cream then i would expect a radically different way of life lol. If i take heroin or fentanyl, i might not experience an obvious difference between eating an icecream and getting tortured. That is a valid point too. But when you come off the heroin, lets have the same conversation again. Lets run the 'experiement' and see whats up.

@zurew I know that already. But still denying the difference of fantasy and reality like Leo seems to do lately is dangerous and wrong. There is an obvious difference between an actual apple that will feed me and an imaginary one that will leave me starving. If there was no difference between things then you would be happy eating a piece of turd instead of a 'healthy' meal or whatever else you might be eating. Either you call Reality imaginary or not, it does not make a difference. As i said before i could say that Reality is Real therefore anything i imagine is also real. Yes that is true but there are differences even if everything is made of the same stuff essentially. That is my point. Leo has gone so far to even the deny the difference of eating a cake vs getting tortured in the past. Yet in his direct experience, he lives his life completely opposite to that statement (eating healthy food, taking 100s of supplements, etc). I can't understand after a point. His explanations are insufficient or non existent at times.

@axiom Why is that? My relative experience is the absolute truth. And there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. Proof? I imagine hitting myself with a hammer. No problems whatsoever. I hit myself with an actual hammer. Huge problems afterwards. You say that there are no differences but you don't justify this position.

@Leo Gura Why are you denying those obvious differences ,I don't understand it. What is the logic behind this? You say because all differences are imaginary but i could do the following : I could say that all differences are real therefore anything i imagine is also real. Which is true but still there is a difference between fantasy and reality. They both exist but they are different. This is all a word game after a certain point. It does not matter from my perspective how you label those differences because they exist. If there was no difference between anything then why do you keep taking good care of your body? Why do you insist on eating healthy food if there are no obvious differences??

@Leo Gura This would apply if we had control over ''physical'' Reality but we do not possess that power.

@QandC I am not doing it . It is doing me. Mental health is not a simple matter. Stop patronizing. Leo's last video is very problematic in my opinion and therefore thats why i wrote this post . One way his video is problematic is this: He talks about connecting to some other God. Then he questions if he really did talk to some other God. And then he deprecates the distinction between actuality vs fantasy just because Reality is Imagination. This is very dangerous and makes no sense. Just because Reality is Imagination , it does not mean there isn't a difference between actuality and fantasy. It is like saying because Reality is Real, then anything i imagine is also real. Yes everything is real but still there is a huge differerence between making stuff up in your head and actually experiencing something actual. Blurring this distinction is extremely dangerous. You can not survive on eating fantastical apples even if they are ''real''.

@zurew No i don't assume anything in this situation. My point is that what is , simply is. You can call it objective or subjective, it doesn't matter . I think going further trying to analyze what is, creates all sorts of word games and confusion after a certain point. I cannot change the structure of my reality. Only temporarily maybe if i take a strong substance. This imagination you ara are talking about, it is God's imagination and we don't have access to that. And i don't know if we will ever do. That is the paradox. That we cannot control Reality even if we are God essentially. Whether it is a dream or not, it makes no difference to me. Its as real as it gets. It has no opposite. Calling it whatever is meaningless when it has no opposite. You can call it Objective , Subjective, Real ,Unreal, it makes no difference from my perspective.

@zurew You can't change it. God is in control. And we don't have access to any of that.

@Yarco I've become much more skeptical of psychedelics in general. There are psychedelics like shrooms, which in low doses provide a very crystal clear experience for me. Without adverse effects. But if you were to take massive doses of any psychedelic , you can delude yourself. It is funny how drug users who abuse meth and crack cocaine can also experience hallucinations such as coke bugs and other tacticle hallucinations. If someone told us that he was getting englightned by using meth we wouldn't take that person seriously. There is something to be said about extremely potent psychedelics such as 5meo dmt and etc. Generally i am of the opinion that when something is so extremely potent, it doesn't come without a cost. I don't know what that cost is. Nor do we have any extensive studies on this stuff. It is analogous to taking steroids . If you were to take testosterone even at high doses you don't see anything incredible. But if you take something like trenbolone then you would become like a mutant and also pay a bigger price . Or lets say you were to smoke marijuana vs crack cocaine. The high of crack would be x100 more strong but also the cost you would pay later, would be much much higher. Thats why im more skeptical of incredibly potent psychedelics nowadays. Maybe what they call enlightment after a certain point is just an incredible drug high. Leo has definitely abused psychedelics in my opinion . This caused him to beleive that he is more awake than anyone else and pissing away at Rupert Spira, Eckhart Tolle etc.

@amanen God can do as 'he' likes. But your ego has no control over reality.

@Alex_R It does not matter whether you imagine or not. What is, simply is. Its not mental game your ego can control.

@Vincent S It's not about believing or not believing. Reality is what is. It does not matter a bit if i believe that my chair is real or not. I see it. I feel it. End of story. Thats the bottom line. Going further that this is pointless. What is, IS. And it does not make a difference what you believe or don't believe about the ISNESS of a situation.

@machiavelli Yes i agree with you. First he was super arrogant about his position on Solipsism. Even though this position didn't make any sense whatsoever. And now in his latest video, he says that you can't know whether other bubbles exist, and then he concludes that other bubbles might exist but they are sovereign as his. Then he still insists on Solipsism..... O_o Also he seems dismissive on the difference of actuality vs fantasy which is very very dangerous. And can affect many users negatively in their mental health. It doesn't make sense to believe whatever you are imagining on a psychedelic trip just because reality is imaginary. Whether the differences are imaginary or not, is just a word game. There are differences and it does not matter how you call them. . For me there is a difference between a trip that is genuine and a trip where i confuse my fantasies with actuality. His latest trip seems as an attempt to find some meaning because solipsism is pure madness as Rupert Spira has said.

@Leo Gura The difference exists though. It does not matter if you call it imaginary or not. It exists and thats the bottom line. I can stop imagining a lion or whatever stuff in my head. But good luck stop imagining actual reality. There is a huge difference between a lion that i imagine in my head that can't hurt me and an actual lion that will eat me live. That difference between actuality vs fantasy exists. If you call it an imaginary difference, it is the same as calling it as real difference. Blurring this distinction and discarding this difference goes into super dangerous territories.

@Arthogaan Nope , this distinction does not become meaningless. It is the distinction between Reality/Actuality and Fantasy. It is one thing to have a real apple to eat and it is another thing to be eating an imaginary apple in your head.

When i am by myself , i am usually fine. Generally i respect and value myself. But when i am around others i am very sensitive when i feel like i am not being accepted. It creates a lot of suffering for me... My parents were terrible because they damaged my self-esteem. They never told me nice things about my personality. They would always point out my flaws or the things i did wrong. Basically my parents just took care of my base survival needs. They didn't nurture me psychologically. As a result i became a people pleaser as i grew up. I've worked on myself the last 5 years with lots of journaling, meditating and psychedelics. I am not a people pleaser anymore and i respect and value myself much more than before. As i said before, when i am alone, i feel great. Nothing bothers me. But when i am around others chimps , i get easily triggered. Today for example i ordered food. And i didn't like the behavior of the delivery guy. I perceived him as rude and kinda disrespectful.It creared suffering for me. Not extreme suffering but still it bothered me. I didn't overanalyze it and gave it too much attention because i knew this would just prolong the misery. This is a pattern for me. Where i suffer because i feel that someone didn't respect me or thought something negative of me. I feel that if others didn't exist and i was left only with non-human creatures, most of my suffering would be eradicated. Most of my suffering cames from what i perceive as lack of love from others. I know that the behavior of others is usually not personal but i still suffer. The suffering always goes away but still this is a pattern that keeps repeating. Maybe something similar happens to everyone . I really don't know. It just feels terrible when you feel not accepted and not appreciated. It is the worst psychological pain for me.. What is the point to think highly of yourself when you feel that others think negatively of you? This is the problem in a nutshell. When the opinions of others don't match with your own self-image, that is the worst pain for the ego...Because you feel invalidated. I don't care how confident you are. If you didn't get the validation you wanted from others, you would probably feel terrible too.

Maybe this will sound ridiculous to most people but i don't know... So today i went outside for a walk. And as i was walking a road, i noticed smokes that were coming from an apartment building at the roof. Some people were grilling meat or something. The smoke didn't smell ''dangerous'' but the problem is that as i was crossing the road, for like 2-3 minutes i inhaled a lot of it. I didn't feel lack of oxygen or anything weird. And i tried to not take many breaths too. As i was returning home, few minutes after, i felt a sensation in my head. But i am not sure whether it has to do with the smoke or not. Generally i feel all sorts of sensations in my head every single day. Afterwards, i suffered a lot for quite some time. Because my mind was imagining all sorts of bad scenarios. The worst kind of scenarios. I have this fear of damaging my brain in any sort of way. It is like a psychological allergy..I am more comfortable with getting cancer than damaging my mental resources... I have quite a good memory and i like how my mind works. I know logically that this event probably isn't something significant. Dealing with fear and such events is really a pain in the as$. It puts me in a bad mood where i don't wanna pursue any goals whatsoever (even though i do despite of). I really got angry at the people who caused this event. But i am responsible too because i continued walking that road. I also watched other people crossing the road, so i didn't think twice about the whole situation...

@Tristan12 You nailed it man. Yes when i was 6-7 , something happened that caused me a LOT of shame.... It was the most shame i've ever felt in my entire life. Generally i think positive of myself but when i am around others, sometimes i get triggered and believe that there maybe something wrong or odd with me.