SQAAD

When you are following your Life-Purpose and your dreams, many times you feel that you might never make it. And it is very hard to convince yourself otherwise. I don't know what are the statistics but i assume most people never make it and never will . This is super discouraging and drives me into a low motivation state where i don't have much passion to work hard anymore. Charles Bukowksi ''made it'' as a writer in his 50s (when finally a publisher gave him some attention) but many others never did. Eckhart Tolle would not enjoy his ridiculous level of fame and success if it wasn't for Oprah promoting his books and work. Bill Gates wouldn't become the King of Software, if it wasn't for the great private schools and the minicomputers he had access to at the time. There is definetely an element of luck to all of this ''success' thing. And also you must have the right kind of personality and fit into a certain box. I didn't like the video below. The fat man in the video says how ''following your dreams'' and ''you can be anything you want'' are super bad advices. He goes on to derogate these notions. Even though he himself followed his dreams. (The irony). Its hard to keep pursuing your dreams when society and many people around you, tell you otherwise because of ''reality'' and ''statistics''. Any thoughts? How do you deal with all this uncertainty and doubt? Is it still worth it even if you never will ''make it''?

Let me give you a summary. For a period of 6 months i have been highly motivated and i was pursuing my goals . But now , the last couple of months i have been in a low dopamine state and it is very hard for me to push myself to do certain things (like working on mastery and life purpose). I have temporarily stopped practicing on the one thing that i wanna master, because i can only do it for like 15 minutes at a time. The most convenient thing is to scroll through videos on youtube. I noticed that i watch like 5 minutes of a video and then i notice a shift in my consciousness where i am super bored and have no drive to watch any longer. Then i search for another video to watch. Later in the day, i notice that i can watch for 20 minutes or even 45 minutes of a video at a time. I know some things about dopamine and how it is basically the fuel that gives us energy to do stuff. Besides scrolling through many videos and watching few minutes of one video at a time, i don't do drugs and activities that release huge amounts of dopamine. I watch porn like once every day or once every 2 days but i don't believe it is an issue for me. I never get addicted to watching much porn. It's weird because for 6 months my motivation levels were quite high and stable. And i had the drive to practice the one thing i wanna master for hours. I don't know if maybe i was doing too much of my life purpose and kinda burned myself out. I am thinking of a dopamine fast. Not watching videos on the internet is not an option. But i am thinking maybe i should force myself to not skip videos. Any advice on how to get out of this low dopamine state is highly appreciated.

@Superfluo Dude you cannot control sleep. You can only create better conditions for sleep to happen. I am against all this non sense about tracking your sleep, that some 'weirdos' (in my opinion) engage in. The more you care about sleep, the worse your sleep becomes. Because you are constantly worried and paranoid about it, creating extra stress for yourself People who sleep well don't think twice about sleep. People who suffer from insomnia care and worry about sleep 24/7. And yes if you change environment , you raise dopamine. But that is not my underlying issue.

@zurew Yeah that is great advice. What you are talking about is essentially removing the friction. I like this concept very much. I've heard it from the Atomic Habits book. It's great not to rely on willpower and just eliminate the damn obstacle. I try to do that as much as i can. Youtube is my enemy. And my laptop too. That is what i use to master my own thing but also to watch videos on youtube. I will check maybe there is a way to block youtube from my laptop.

@Carl-Richard Because multiple minds is better than one mind when trying to find a solution.

@Scholar I like this idea. Anxiety isn't the problem. The issue is boredom.

@Kksd74628 Dude, i am physically active. And don't call me indirectly lazy ass b*tch. That is not cool. Your arrogance and testosterone is reeking too much and you should contain it more. Not everyone should be running and lifting weights. That is your thing. Don't force in onto others. Walking 45 minutes every day is good enough for me & doesn't cause uneccesary pressure to my joints. I was lifting weights for years and was into powerlifting . I know the drill.

@Carl-Richard I highly doubt that. We all have motivation problems eventually. Your dopamine doesn't stay the same. After a peak, it goes below baseline. Nobody can work at X thing at the same pace indefinitely. Leo takes 2 months breaks every year.

@Michael569 Basically my problem is that when i wake up in the morning, the easiest thing for me is to scroll through some videos and waste time on youtube. To sit down and practice is not the most attractive option. But this has only been the case the last couple of months. Before that, i didn't waste much time on youtube, and i was practicing for hours. I had the drive, the motivation, the fuel. Until one day i couldn't spend more than 1 hour practicing. I couldn't force myself. It was too painful and unbearable. I think i need to force myself now. Maybe it will work. I don't know what else to do.

@Kksd74628 Ahahahaha Leo says its a waste of time ^_-

@Carl-Richard No. I used to though. Nowadays i mostly go outside for a walk.

Until today, i didn't know that cleaning your mattress was a thing that people do. Is this neccessary for health? I have never done it and i am 29 years old. My parents and grandparents (some of which lived up to 87 years old with no major health issues) never cleaned their mattresses aswell. From what i understand, there are some tiny organisms that live in the mattresses and can cause you respiratory issues if not removed. I have not suffered any ill effects thus far. I take care of cleaning sheets and etc. But cleaning the mattress i have not done that.

Yes i flirt with the idea of suicide from time to time. And it is very normal under certain conditions. There was a phase in my life where i was super bad mentally. And then i was really serious about ending it all. I bought a drug that could potentially kill me. And i prepared the injection. But then i realised that i could not do it . The urge to live, was too strong to overcome. You have to be really really bad to override this self preservation instinct. I wasn't at that breaking point. After that one incident, i never considered again seriously ending my life. I would just entertain it as a thought when things were hard but never seriously. You don't want to to die. What you want, is to stop the misery. That's an important distinction to keep in mind.

I took anti anxiety medication for like 3 weeks and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I became like a zombie. Basically i didn't feel much of anything. I didn't feel anxiety much but i also didn't feel much of anything else. It was a very dull state of consciousness that i despised. I quickly weaned off the medication. I am very against medication unless they are super necessary. From your post, it seems you haven't exhausted all other methods yet. My anxiety nowadays is very low level. I don't feed into anxiety by ruminating about it. And i accept the worst case scenario by being willing to experience everything.

@Yarco What does this recent study say? I'm very interested to know.

@Yarco Yeah i think it is kinda uneccessary to be honest. I assume we are very well evolved to handle all that stuff. The best method to clean your mattress, is by pouring baking soda and then vaccuum cleaning it. This is how you get rid of the microorganisms that live in the mattress. Haven't done it yet. A video i saw on internet, triggered all of this concern about cleaning my mattress.

@Space What you've said is very encouraging. And the fact that you're living what you preach, means a lot. The fat man's point is that you shouldn't follow your dreams if you probably never will 'make it' or have success at that thing. But i disagree with that. Because you can never know if you will have success at something, if you don't follow that thing and work at it.

@The Mystical Man Very solid advice. Thank you.

@Flowerfaeiry That's a great point.

@TurquoiseAngel My mattress is new (1 year) and has no visible filth in it. Would you still vacuum it if you were in my position? Also, i saw that some people use baking soda to clean their mattresses. You don't use it from what i understand. Right?

My arguement is that, you are not actually afraid of death. But what you are really terrified of is suffering and pain. This has been evident by countless examples. People are commiting suicide everyday because they cannot take any more the torture and misery of their lives. Also speaking of torture, i've seen video where a guy was being tortured, and was in so incredible and terrifying level of pain that he was begging to be killed. And the only reason you fear the unknown , is because you are afraid you won't like it. If i told you, after death everything will be ok with no suffering and pain you would not fear it that much. Maybe there are exceptions to this. There are masochists outhere but they enjoy only particular forms of pain. People make constantly the arguement that you are always afraid of death because what you do each day is take care of your body to avoid it. But that's not quite accurate. You are forced to take care of your body otherwise you will suffer for it. If you don't drink water, it causes distress to you. Your body is sending you all these nagging signals. Thirst motivates you to drink for example. Suffering and pain motivate you to take care of your body, and not so much the fear of death. Sure subsconciously your brain doesn't wanna die either, but what is else to fear other than pain and suffering in life? Also lastly, to illustrate my point: When you go to sleep at nigh, do you fear it?

Given the fact, that we are all manifestations/products of God, does God care about each one of us or not? This question might imply duality but i am asking it from a non-dual/God is All perspective. I have been struggling with this question for quite some time. Also some part of my psyche, needs a Universe which is essentially Good and caring. This is good for my well-being (this is why theists are happier overall than atheists). If we live in an indifferent , cruel, vicious, uterrly brutal Universe, then what good is God after all? Sometimes i think that maybe its impossible to even know the answer to such a question. From my intuitions and observations i think God definitely cares, in the sense that everything is created with infinite intelligence and wisdom. And everything is evolving towards better and better things overall. Despite this, sometimes its easy to fall into nihilism. There seems to be a lot of senseless suffering in this world. You observe how many other creatures have it bad and how much they suffer. Insects getting stomped on, creatures getting slaughtered and tortured, all sorts of weird diseases, mutations , accidents, earthquakes & fires killing many creatures, etc. It's easy to become nihilistic and claim that we live in a cruel, indifferent Universe.This is a very hard metaphysical question, from which your whole sense of trust and well-being in the existence hinges. And its a question that i never see spiritual teachers address. How do you even begin to make sense of all of this?

@Judy2 I like this statement very much. Reminds me of this video. He says that the most important decision you'll ever make is :''Is the universe friendly?'' @37:22

I hate that i see this old man everywhere on my youtube feed even though i try to avoid watching his content like the plague. I know what he is all about by now. I don't need his advice. The energy he exudes is kinda funny and neurotic. I can't describe it. But you can clearly see a neurotic not very high consciousness coming from this guy. He is stuck in some sort of mechanical very predictable pattern in his minda, hard to explain. The videos below are just a good demonstration of the ridiculous nature of his content. Stupid & unexperienced people take him very seriously like he is some philosopher of a great capacity and give him all their authority. People act like he is some great revolutionary thinker that will push humanity ahead, meanwhile he got famous because of conflict and drama, and heavily capitalized on that to make a forture by spreading an ideology to 20year old males. The old man acts like he knows how to suffer through life even though he was addicted on medications. He gives advice on how to suffer through life, meanwhile he himself can't cope with life and needs medications.This is funny. He is full of crap and i am tired of this culture shoving him to my throat everyday Just because someone is a professor doesn't tell you much about how full of crap they are. There are greater thinkers than this guy who are not even academics. He is a cancer for the human and this current culture. His content does more harm than good in my opinion. It promotes bigotry in a more intellectual sneaky scientific way. It creates division and separation.

Check out this video. Puts things into perspective.