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Presently, I am facing difficult circumstances and require assistance, though it is tough for me to ask for help as it may reflect poorly on me. As a 30-year-old man living with my mother and sisters in Athens, Greece, my family has been supporting me financially for the past few years. Unfortunately, Greece's economy is not as developed as other countries like the United States, and high rent costs can take up to 50% of one's income, making it very difficult for most individuals to make ends meet without parental support. Both of my parents were uneducated and dysfunctional, and their behavior negatively impacted my life. Additionally, my father's alcoholism, poor mental health (OCD), and absence during my childhood left a lasting negative impact on my life. I have always yearned for self-reliance and autonomy. Nevertheless, the job market in Greece is very limited, and finding a position that pays enough to cover basic expenses is challenging. Therefore, I have been considering the possibility of moving to countries such as Norway or Holland, where better opportunities might exist. Despite identifying some job openings in Holland, I am hesitant to accept them because they require sharing accommodation with three other people, which does not align with my preferred living arrangements. Furthermore, most of these jobs involve manual labor, which does not align with my career goals. I am proficient in the basics of HTML/CSS & Javascript and desire to work as a web developer or in a position where I can learn valuable skills. Unfortunately, my past addiction issues and mental health concerns have affected my productivity and hindered my progress. Nevertheless, I have successfully overcome my addiction to marijuana and am now in a much better mental state. I have been facing several challenges lately. Despite my efforts, I have been unsuccessful in securing a decent job in Greece, and my limited qualifications have made it challenging for me to work as a web developer. To make matters worse, the environment at home is not supportive, and I have not been receiving the love and understanding that I need. The frequent arguments at home have made the situation even more difficult for me, and it is taking a toll on my mental well-being. I feel trapped and uncertain about my future, which has led to some thoughts of suicide. It's hard to know what to do when it seems like my only options are to settle for a dead-end job & continue struggling to make ends meet. Ultimately, my desire is to live independently on a livable wage while working in a fulfilling job where I can learn valuable skills.

@Noahsteelers34 Yeah i think living abroads would be moving me towards a better position in life.. The reason is that Greece is a very underdeveloped country with tons of unconsciousness. Living abroad is also hard but at least you can survive a lot better than here. Many people have left Greece because they could not make ends meet without parental support. Unless you own your own house, living here is a real struggle. Maybe i should just experiment with the living situation abroad. I watch other people from Greece who live in Norway and Holland for example, and they have enough money where they can travel and do other hobbies. What keeps me from trying to live abroads, is fear of misery. I'm afraid i wil be miserable if i live with 3 other people in the same house. I know that after a while i could eventually rent my own house there. But that is also a challenge. Rent is very expensive and its really hard to find accomadation in Holland. Because things are so difficult and i have not found anything 'good enough'' this has kept me stuck in this situation.

@integral Here in Greece it is extremely difficult because 99.9% of employers want you to have all sorts of degrees and stuff. Moreover they tend to choose younger people. It's very very difficult that someone will give you a chance. Most business are ruthless and they only care about maximum efficiency and profit. In other countries it might be different. I know that in America people in similar situation who have found work as a developer. Like this guy who began coding at 32 and found a job:

Lately i have developed this concern about being careful enough to not ingest dish soap.. It has stemmed from some observations. I've observed how easily you can accidentaly leave extra soap on a dish... I've also observed the water bouncing back when it hits the surface of the sink.. and this water if mixed with soap could probably touch the dish.. I've watched two videos on YouTube just to observe how other people handle this.. but both videos were kinda dissapointing.. The old man in the 1st video especially seems to not care at all about the soap because he barely rinses out the dishes.. I believe this will probably leave some traces of soap on the dishes.. I don't know if this is significant or not though.. Maybe the soap just evaporates and it does not even matter. But again i am not sure. Probably a dish washing machine is the best solution.. I would like some insight on the points i made because i am very confused..

@Michael569 I appreciate your advice and i am kinda happy that you understand my misery.. My mind is very focused on the details and focuses on things that most other people ignore. When you are like that other people think you are kinda crazy but are you really? I used to suffer a lot from this kind of stuff because i was doing all sorts of compulsions to check and be 100% certain.. This only made things worse. This stuff is hard and you gotta learn to live with uncertainty. There is no other way.

@integral Brush my teeth with water...? Is that enough though??

@Girzo Very Interesting.

@Leo Gura Ok. Thank you.

@Leo Gura I definitely respect your experience but i am also concerned about snorting this substance when in the picture it states that H332 is harmful if inhaled... (I am no chemist and i have no understanding of these things).. But my brain is OCD-like & wants 100% certainty even though that is impossible... lol How can you tell if it is fake or not? How do you judge it? You said in a video that you judge it by the color.. Should i even try it if it is not a clear color? I really don't know what to do sometimes lol.

@Leo Gura I am not sure about that. Check the picture i posted on this post.. Have you tried snorting it? If you are afraid of not having the pure thing then what should you do besides trying a small dose?

@OBEler Hmm.. Kinda weird.. Because everytime you smoke something you probably breathe in some of the substance through the nose too because of the smoke.. Ok so i guess 5meo malt is not recommended to be snorted.. What about 5meo dmt? And can you recommend me a good roa besides plugging?

@OBEler Ok thank you. This is good to know. Yes..but it also says H332 is harmful if inhaled... I believe that inhaling 5-meo-malt is a common roa..

@Kingston Talking of torture.. that is actually my worst fear .. getting tortured by some Mexican Drug Cartel Animals.. lol. So from what i understand.. God has no fear because 'he' is formless and we have fear because we have a form. Also, i recently got a taste of Love while on shrooms.. But i definitely go all the way and try something stronger like 5meo..

Leo says at some point of the video something like (i am paraphrasing) Now.. this all seems very negative to me and i don't understand it... God has put in us those desires to chase pleasure, be secure, comfortable, have money, avoid pain,illness & etc.. But then i feel like there is something wrong to having these desires.. Does not God want us to do good , be happy and thrive??If not then why did he instill those desires within us? From what Leo said in this video i get the feeling like there is something wrong to want to be happy and feel good in your body just because God accepts everything or something like that... Maybe God is fine living a torturous life but certainly my experience is the exact opposite and everything inside me screams to improve things for the better... How do you reconcile that? I don't understand this. And it seems negative, perverse and twisted to me.

@Breakingthewall Yes i agree. No. I am Pure Consciousness. I was never even born. (I would like a definition of the absolute vs a definition of the relative btw, i am curious because maybe i don't understand these defintions correctly).

@Breakingthewall I don't know about that. Yes , i don't deny the appearances inside the Absolute. So what do you think when Michael Singer says that the world has nothing to do with us? I don't understand. This only makes sense if the world is random without a God behind it.

@Breakingthewall What do you mean it is useless? Also, i think there is only the absolute. The relative is a construction of the ego-mind.

What does it mean when someone says that Consciousness is an impersonal field. I don't get it... Sounds kinda negative.

@Carl-Richard I agree. But i am also constantly aware of a body and its feelings, thoughts , etc.

Hello everyone. I have been taking benzos (mostly diazepam) for the last 3 weeks. I have not abused the medication. I take it temporarily for a condition that i face. Anyways.. now i am preparing to quit taking diazepam completely. Is it ok to stop taking the medication cold turkey or should i taper off? Today i felt a "weird" sensation in my heart but i don't know if it is related to diazepam or not, and now i am kinda in a fearful state.. I do not feel any signs of withdrawal or a serious physical need for the drug. Keep in mind , that i have not abused the substance these last 3 weeks that i am taking it.

@flowboy Yeah... The doctor told me i can go either way.

Hello everyone. I want to try 100mg of modafinil tomorrow morning. But i don't want it to negatively affect my sleep. What's your experience with taking modafinil and sleeping at night? I read that modafinil has a long half-life and this is why i am concerned.

@Arthogaan Hmm.. Interesting.. So what is the dose currently that works best for you??

@Arthogaan Do you recommend this substance? What's your take on it?

@Cireeric Yeah.. it seems its about finding the right dose. Do you recommend this substance? I would like to know your opinion. Because i have very little experience with this substance and i wanna run an experiment with it.