ContemplativeCacti

Hello everyone, First of all I just wanted to say how amazing this community is! I have been lurking for a while on the forum and being able to see discussion on a variety of these topics is refreshing. As suggested by the title, I have recently come out of a 4 year relationship that ended with me breaking things off with my ex. She is an amazing person values wise but she had let herself go as well as dealing with an array of issues such as severe anxiety, depression, etc. I also have a variety of issues to work through before entering a new relationship such as being more trustworthy, having more self esteem, etc. It has been about a month now since we broke up and I cannot seem to shake the idea that I should be seeking out new women to interact with the hopes of getting laid. It is worth noting that I have been doing no fap for the last 4 or so months but this month has been exeptionally difficult given that I am not having sex. My question is this, is it wise to give into the egoic gratification of chasing sex and getting more experience or should I channel that energy into developing myself and later seeking a new relationship? I know these two could happen in unison but I am worried about the systemic negative recourse of doing pick up for sexual satisfaction as I do not see a way to pursue sex and also a regression of ego. Thank you all in advance.

@aurum That is some good insight, thank you!

@aurum That makes sense, I suppose the biggest reason I seek out sex so quickly is that I feel that I have not had enough intimate encounters with varying women in my life, and have never been single and confident enough to get with women without immediately getting into a relationship. I want to have sex but I know that the instant gratification of a one night stand is fleeting and could be better spent on myself. I know I still have some stage orange hang-ups and I wonder if I should fully embody this stage by fufilling this urge or bypassing this subsection of the orange stage.

These are all useful insights thank you! I suppose I just need to be more content with spending my time and energy developing the best me I can and then being honest about what I seek if the opportunity presents itself with a woman. I will just need to ensure she is on the same page if that does happen and not seek a relationship that I would not be ready to enter.