Zigzag Idiot

Just back from 5 gram Golden Teacher trip. Still processing. Friend and I both had good experience. Unitive awareness. Need a little time and space in order to articulate better. I took notes! I will unpack it better later,,, i have a lot of reading to catch up on as well.

The Innate Sense that Life is Fundamentally Benevolent The presence of basic trust indicates that you have the innate sense that life is fundamentally benevolent, and that benevolence exists independent of you and your actions. You will have this sense to the extent that your grounding in the universe has not been disturbed. The relative presence or absence of basic trust is a belly quality, something one’s whole being is either grounded in or not. The disturbance of basic trust is a significant factor in ego development because the perspective of ego is diametrically opposed to the sense of basic trust. The ego’s perspective arises out of a lack of this trust. It is based on distrust, on paranoia, on fear, on the conviction that you're not going to be adequately taken care of and that the universe is not there to hold and take care of you in the ways that you need. This conviction causes you to believe that you have to engage in all kinds of manipulations and games to get your needs met and to make things work out. With Basic Trust You Take Risks When you have a lot of basic trust, you are courageous and authentic. You take risks. You don't sit on your capacities. You engage in life wholeheartedly, doing what feels appropriate to you with the confidence that it will work out. Without much basic trust, you are paralyzed with fear of failure and fear of rejection. Facets of Unity, pg. 28

The confusing thing about Yogananda is his stage blue sexuality. I guess you could call it. He was a genius, mystic, and clairvoyant but he wasn't integrated sexually. In modern terms.

There is No Evil Person Seeing things from this perspective, we see that there is no one who is really bad. No one is evil in an absolute way. Everyone does what he thinks is good. There is no bad person, there is no evil person; there is only the ignorant person. The Dichotomy of Good and Evil The most frequently noted dichotomy on the way toward nonconceptual freedom is that of good and evil, or more exactly, good and bad. Without concepts there is no sense that one thing is good and another is bad. First, there is no separation between forms, because separation happens only through the reification of concepts, and there are no concepts here to reify. Because of this there cannot be a comparison between them, all forms are equal in being pure awareness. Second, since there is perception of difference between forms but no recognition of what the difference is, it is not possible to value one form and not another. All appear equal. The moment we recognize something as good in contrast to something else as bad, we are definitely existing in the conceptual realm. Recognizing that the distinction between good and bad is ultimately conceptual, pure awareness emerges and equalizes all forms and experiences as manifestations of true nature. Experientially, the notions of good and bad are connected mostly to pleasure and pain, happiness and suffering, gain and loss, expansion and contraction, and so on. In the unutterable bliss of nonconceptuality, these dichotomies disappear. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 336 All Spiritual Work Would be Pointless if There Were Such a Thing as Ultimate Evil As we have seen, each Holy Idea is a characteristic of reality at all locations, at all times, and at all levels. Holy Truth explicates this understanding. Here, we are saying that not only is reality just one presence that is boundless and real, but that it is also positive, blissful, and wonderful. So not only is God one, but God is also wonderful and made of love. The truth, then, is loving and lovable, which is why we say in the Diamond Approach that you must love truth for its own sake. If your orientation is that you love truth so that it will change you and make you a happier person, your orientation is out of sync with how things objectively are; if you see reality as it is, you can’t help but love it. It follows, then, that objectively there is no evil. We see evil only when we perceive reality through a filter. A person who behaves in what we consider evil ways is a person acting through a distortion. In spiritual work, concepts of a devil, of dark forces, of some evil that exists on its own outside of the goodness of reality are considered manifestations of ignorance, both in terms of believing in such concepts and in terms of the manifestations attributed to such forces. All spiritual work would be pointless if there were such a thing as ultimate evil. Facets of Unity, pg. 215

Another part of me likes how this guy expresses it.

I still enjoy rewatching Hans Wilhelm's interpretation of the myth and some of his others.

This is an interesting guy who says interesting things. His Autobiography is equal in entertainment as it is to wisdom.

Another bit from my google search. More stew. https://www.wordonfire.org/resources/blog/jim-carreys-christ-consciousness/ It's the energy recognition. I'll try to not be a bother,,,, ?

I just did a google. It's being said a dozen different ways. And mixed with bullshit too of coarse. Spiritual thoughts that enter into conscious minds are sometimes referred to as Christ Consciousness. It is an awareness of the higher self as part of a higher universal system. It does not relate to the personality of Christ. Christ Consciousness is a state of mind; it is an understanding that there is a universal and omnipresent force everywhere, and connecting with this higher power.

I'm not kidding. Seriously, Ken Wilber talks about non dual states including Christ Consciousness. That's what you are when you love everything.

@Aakash This new hat you found will change shape on you. You may also be experiencing Christ Consciousness.

Sitting with it and more than one time. How many times? How wounded are you? Experiencing Emotional Hurt as a Wound At this point the person might go on to experience himself as an empty space, devoid of any fullness or quality. If he deals with the associations he has to this emptiness—such as those of dependency and need—and the fears produced by them—probably the fears of disintegration, disappearing, and so on—then he will remember the old hurt that cut off the essence. This is another big dark spot. The person will unearth the painful situation or situations that ultimately led to the loss of this particular aspect of essence. Besides the memories and affects, the individual will experience the emotional hurt as a wound. It will feel physically like a wound in the chest, but it is a wound in the energy system that corresponds to the emotional hurt and the loss of the essence. When one allows oneself quietly to experience the hurtful wound and the memories connected with it, the golden elixir will flow out of it, healing it, and filling the emptiness with the beautiful sweet fullness that will melt the heart, erase the mind, and bring about the contentment that the individual has been thirsting for. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 116

A jokester recognizes a jokester ? Like a brother. Thanks, Drew. Hope yours is good too! I expect to be giving a trip report by Sunday or Monday. 5 dried grams of Golden Teacher. ?

@DrewNows Point taken! ? The "art" was made in 2015. Completely sober. On fire and high with spirit. ? I'm not sure I could do any better tripping. Its the idea/vision that I was trying to get across. Even to the point of revealing my complete incompetence as an artist. I was reading a lot of the journals just now and was going to post this song, as I ran across your reply. Thank you, by the way. The true unnamed recipient will understand. And hopefully laugh,,,,

When I first discovered ACIM back in 2015. I was on fire in different ways. I remember saying something stupid to the effect of - wow, Jesus writes just as good as Echart Toll, to Jim. Jim was the organizer of the group in addition to being a psychotherapist. He is the one I decided to dump my shadow material on and let him help me process it over a few short weeks. I sent him a link to this Joural a while back and he acknowledged back,,,, I abandoned art around the fifth grade but during this winter/spring of 2015 I was compelled to display my understanding That I had gotten through Almaas about the idea that duality itself is held within non duality. So here with my 11 year old arrested art development from 2015, that is/was my communication. ?

What you were communicating in your last video reminded me of the message given in this book. For whatever that's worth. ??

Doesn't it feel good to be on fire? ?

You fully master the twelve time potentials in a three step process. First, you learn them. Next, you learn them even better by acting them out. Finally, you master them after you have taught them to others. In the final Master teaching stage the Self can merge with the Sun. The Self then can become radiating, full of life giving light. But, until all nine of the potentials are integrated, and the whole potential of your Being is realized, you will be submitted to reincarnation. As Keyserling says, you will be stuck in the "cosmic game of bowling". Only when all of your pins, your potential, have been set up and mastered, can you survive the inevitable black ball of death. Excerpts from chapter 6 http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/ The majority of people today never develop any personality of their own at all. Instead, they have a false personality imposed on them from their parents, friends, job or society. The false personality has no connection with any of their innate capacities. For this reason it is usually weak, and the person has little energy or vitality. Only personality which is in connection with a person's essence - their inner sun - can vitalize. The false, unconnected personalities only block energy. They act as a negative mask to hide true potential, instead of express it. Such lifeless personalities should be dropped and replaced by impulses and roles which you choose. They should be replaced by personalities that are more in accord with your essence and true potential. In the Gurdjieff tradition this process of liberation from false personalities is called "waking up". It is accomplished in part through a process called "self remembering" where you observe the false personalities in action.

Claudio Naranjo was sitting on the couch in a scene at Esalon with Terence McKenna in the video I posted last on his thread. Claudio was AH Almaas' Teacher also . https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claudio_Naranjo Oddly enough, I've yet to read this. Has anyone here read this? If I observe myself being a name dropper. It cancels out. its amazing to realize the impact this one man has had on the world in the last 50 years on up to this present moment.

http://cynthiabourgeault.org/2018/11/13/introducing-the-imaginal/ https://marianne.com/

Maurice Nicoll's Psychological Commentaries on the Teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky. What some call the Work. He called it esoteric Christianity. GIVING UP SUFFERING III “To serve the Work means to obey what it teaches you to practice on yourself. You want to be gloomy and moody, to object, and so on, and you observe your state and begin to separate from it—then you are serving the Work. And in so doing you are giving up some of your mechanical suffering.” V. 3, p. 855 GIVING UP SUFFERING IV “By work on oneself . . . one rises in the ‘Ladder of Being’ represented by the Ray of Creation. But this rising is only possible by sacrifice. To behave as you always do, and expect to rise, is impossible. One must, to begin with, sacrifice one’s suffering. All self-pity, all self-cradling, vanity, secret absurd fears, all self-sentimentality, all inner accounting, all pitiful pictures, all sighs, inner groans, and complaints, must be burned up in the fire of increasing Consciousness.” V. 3, p. 1090 GIVING UP SUFFERING V “All our mechanical suffering is fraudulent only we will not admit it. Fraudulent suffering is the keynote to what we have to sacrifice. Real suffering is utterly different and always opens us up to a higher level: fraudulent suffering closes us.” V. 3, p. 853 WATCHING EMOTIONS “In yourself everyone else is helpless. You can, as it were, drag a person into the cave of yourself and do what you like with her or him. You may be polite naturally, but in the Work, which is all about purifying or organizing the inner life, it is not enough. It is how you behave internally, invisibly to one another that really counts...Your most negative and most dangerous ‘I’s may come forward when you are alone. . .when you feel that no one is looking. Yes, but you must look.” V. 1, pp. 216, 256

Very true. IME Addresses a real phenomenon. Worse for me was letting go of unnecessary suffering. The idea that we can't let go of our unnecessary suffering is primary in Gurdjieff's Teaching. It took me years to understand the scale of this.

The diversity of the felt sense of the presence moment. What it consists of is so varied that there's no place to start. And the strong memories of some of those moments are amazing in an odd way. When I was about 13 or 14 in a darkened movie theatre or out behind the skating rink in an unlit spot where us pubescent boys and girls would pair up for a few moments temporarily unsupervised to kiss and grope one another, the experience of feeling a tender, soft, plump breast. It felt so amazing! I've never been the same since. In a way. I crossed a threshold of sorts then but didn't have a clue really, about anything. So many varied experiences in life. Quite simple things that are imbued with richness. ? The first time I killed a small bird with my BB gun and then felt remorse holding its lifeless body in my hands. It was still warm. I felt dirty inside. I was about 8 years old.

Another Way of expressing the need for the archaic revival. Can we save the environment/planet from ourselves?

Terence is eloquently ranting about the archaic revival and I'm beating the drum.