Zigzag Idiot

Besides it's just coming from a case of mistaken identity. The i's of our multiplicity. We are not our thoughts. We are not our emotions. We have them.

Everyone does this. Seeing it in oneself is real honesty. You can't really love unless you forgive yourself. I observed the guilt from my Schadenfreude. It feels good on the other side.

Brad addresses the views of a stereotypical naysayer. Is Espistimology the word he's looking for? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epistemology http://hardcorezen.info/ He writes good books, anyway.

Thanks @khalifa These longer documentaries should maybe be grouped together.

I've come to appreciate more the difference between 5 meo dmt and NN dmt. Freebase dmt is much more gentler. I overdid my first dose Of 5 meo dmt @'about 17 mg. The subsequent doses were smaller and more tolerable but then I loaded again with a heavy dose a couple of days ago. Somewhere around 18 - 21 mgs. Too much in that it really grabbed me by the boo boo. It felt like the experience of time came to a halt. Perhaps had it been just the right amount beacuase it didn't really traumatize me but it sure Rattled my cage in a big way. This gave me empathy for those who do too much their first time. Dabbing in a bubber is my method. Using a small piece of aluminum foil sitting on the scale. 3x 3 inch of aluminum fool, kept unwrinked and with a crease put in it . The open baggy held almost perpendicular and a plastic straw is then inserted into the baggy to use as a shovel. It works good with me. With the dmt piled out delicately and measured onto the foil. The small tin foil peice is then gently picked up and with the crease all the material is poured in to a tiny Metal measuring spoon. Heat the titanium bowl dump and pouring the contents into the rig being sure to be drawing on the bubbler as the material hits the hot metal. I hold my lungs as full as I can. Seems to add to the power of the trip. For people starting out, I would definitively start out keeping the dosage of 5 meo dmt at 4mg or preferably lower when smoked. Also - Close your eyes and just keep trying to be open and curious.

Not even psychedelics can help with my ability to produce art. ? With both 5 meo dmt, but more so NN dmt, I like to have 3 songs lined up to listen to with good headphones. With my eyes closed I just listen to the music and watch whatever show is playing on the inner screen of my mind. Ive been experimenting some with mixing them together which I'll probably be criticized for,,,. Approximately 40-50 mg dmt freebase with 8-10 mg 5 meo dmt. So far my best trips have been with pushing the upper limits doing solely one or the other though. This evening I experienced what I would describe as 'crazy spiraling lightening' in my inner vision as I tripped listening to- Sometimes I'll listen to a Terence McKenna talk instead or maybe just silence.

William James Thompson, BA (hons) J.G.Bennett‟s Interpretation of the Teachings of G.I.Gurdjieff: a study of transmission in the fourth way Thesis submitted for the degree of PhD, University of Lancaster, February 1995 https://www.scribd.com/document/115029506/W-J-THOMPSON-Gurdjieff-Bennet-and-the-Fourth-Way Interesting and detailed Table of Contents

Layer after layer The yo yo of Being is a part of the ride and so I repeat the same old quotes about the trap of the thinking mind. This degree of continual forgetting is an amazing rediscovery time and again and again. The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - Cynthia Bourgeault Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time. Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683.

I've recently encountered a freebase NN dmt referred to as Spacedust. Seems good quality; slightly yellow but not really harsh at all when smoked. Vaping 50 mg in a bubbler with a titanium bowl is giving a pretty consistent breakthrough into what I believe is a form of the Chrysanthemum??? When encountering the Chrysanthemum space previously with NN dmt fumarate the experience was harsh and the visuals were spinning in a slower mechanical rotation of the bright colored patterns. The Chrysanthemum space I've encountered with the freebase dmt is quite discernibly crisp and fast moving and more 3 dimensional. My whole visual field blinks very rhythmically with its changing patterns. Seemingly in sync with my heartbeat. At times, the experience will be of being inside a building in which the floors, walls, ceiling are unfolding quickly in motion and is quite pleasant. There is a change in sound. There seems to be a slight or muffled buzzing sound. If sound is coming from a tv or computer speaker, it becomes hollow and more distant when the visuals overcome me. Trip duration is about 10 minutes.

I felt pretty busted out by Leo's video as well. We can experience drastic changes in states of consciousness but the work of purifying the emotional body is what moves us in vertical stage growth. We've got bad software in our hardware among other things. IME A lot can be done in just witnessing the present moment. Im going to consult the ICHING now.

@Bill W Thank you, friend.

From Pauls letters to the Romans Ezekiel

I would recommend to anyone while doing their spiritual practices to also always have a good biography of someone going. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lives_of_John_Lennon https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_River_of_Doubt It helps round out our being.

I loved the book too. Also thought the movie adaptation was very good also. Lincoln is an inspiring character without a doubt. Danial Day Lewis did a great job in his performance.

Sometimes it can be, IME. Some claim, that primarily the capacity to feel negative emotion but not give expression to it is a part of the true transformative practice. The ability to 'hold one's tongue' as some say,,,, Arnold Keyserling, student of Gurdjieff, said that if a Person could go for two years, (which is the cycle of Mars) and not outwardly express negative emotion, the internal alchemical cooking that takes place becomes a particular Intellegence where anything that happens thereafter will simply be taken more as, - What is - and will not produce a reactive, mechanical, negative emotion or expression regardless of what may happen after a successful two years. Some might call it a formula for cultivating Sainthood or pure grace. Ive been attempting this for about 15 years and have lost count at the number of times I've had to start over,,,, ?Although I haven't succeeded, I feel it's a very worthwhile practice that does begin to produce more of a spaciousness in a person. Eventually, we do become less of a puppet of our mechanical reactivity.

@Sahil Pandit Besides the Jocko motivation video 'Good' that you shared in your Journal . I laughed so hard, I lost my breath. I already told you about it though. I was on a fairly stout dose of lsd. That probably also had something to do with it. This Homer Simpson clip puts me in stitches. This is like the third time I've shared this so I imagine a lot of people are getting sick of seeing it. Laughter is good medicine. I was going to post here last night but got diverted watching David Cross and Larry David clips for a couple hours. Two of my favorite comedians.