Zigzag Idiot

Had a very deep and sound sleep last night and upon awakening immediately made the following list that I would like to tie together in an essay sometime. My fluctuating boundaries Normal Innocent same-sex encounters during puberty and adolescence which become shadow The growth and persistence of unchecked Sexual Shadow All three sexes as mentioned by Gurdjieff The different effects of alcohol and various drugs on Consciousness and sexuality Being a 'hardwired heterosexual' but still labeled by others as suspicious and weird. Individuation Neptunium Love and Plutonium Lust during peak Kundalini flows The awakening of Conscience Culturally and socially encouraged homophobia and cowardice and stuff

This is a favorite of mine. Just found this review on it. This is a good book if you're making a study of your own corruption. Also a quote page- https://themindunleashed.com/2017/01/10-quotes-chogyam-trungpa-rinpoche-cut-spiritual-b-s.html An article about it https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/enlightened-living/200812/cutting-through-spiritual-materialism

It doesn't appeal to everyone but in case your interested, ACIM addresses this in dialogue where the idea of Romantic love is called the special relationship,,,, ,A Course in Miracles – Chapter 15 – V. The Holy Instant and Special Relationships T-15.V.1. The holy instant is the Holy Spirit's most useful learning device for teaching you love's meaning. 2 For its purpose is to suspend judgment entirely. 3 Judgment always rests on the past, for past experience is the basis on which you judge. 4 Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for without it you do not understand anything. 5 You would make no attempt to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not understand what anything means. 6 You are afraid of this because you believe that without the ego, all would be chaos. 7 Yet I assure you that without the ego, all would be love. T-15.V.2. The past is the ego's chief learning device, for it is in the past that you learned to define your own needs and acquired methods for meeting them on your own terms. 2 We have said that to limit love to part of the Sonship is to bring guilt into your relationships, and thus make them unreal. 3 If you seek to separate out certain aspects of the totality and look to them to meet your imagined needs, you are attempting to use separation to save you. 4 How, then, could guilt not enter? 5 For separation is the source of guilt, and to appeal to it for salvation is to believe you are alone. 6 To be alone is to be guilty. 7 For to experience yourself as alone is to deny the Oneness of the Father and His Son, and thus to attack reality. T-15.V.3. You cannot love parts of reality and understand what love means. 2 If you would love unlike to God, Who knows no special love, how can you understand it? 3 To believe that special relationships, with special love, can offer you salvation is the belief that separation is salvation. 4 For it is the complete equality of the Atonement in which salvation lies. 5 How can you decide that special aspects of the Sonship can give you more than others? 6 The past has taught you this. 7 Yet the holy instant teaches you it is not so. T-15.V.4. Because of guilt, all special relationships have elements of fear in them. 2 This is why they shift and change so frequently. 3 They are not based on changeless love alone. 4 And love, where fear has entered, cannot be depended on because it is not perfect. 5 In His function as Interpreter of what you made, the Holy Spirit uses special relationships, which you have chosen to support the ego, as learning experiences that point to truth. 6 Under His teaching, every relationship becomes a lesson in love. T-15.V.5. The Holy Spirit knows no one is special. 2 Yet He also perceives that you have made special relationships, which He would purify and not let you destroy. 3 However unholy the reason you made them may be, He can translate them into holiness by removing as much fear as you will let Him. 4 You can place any relationship under His care and be sure that it will not result in pain, if you offer Him your willingness to have it serve no need but His. 5 All the guilt in it arises from your use of it. 6 All the love from His. 7 Do not, then, be afraid to let go your imagined needs, which would destroy the relationship. 8 Your only need is His. T-15.V.6. Any relationship you would substitute for another has not been offered to the Holy Spirit for His use. 2 There is no substitute for love. 3 If you would attempt to substitute one aspect of love for another, you have placed less value on one and more on the other. 4 You have not only separated them, but you have also judged against both. 5 Yet you had judged against yourself first, or you would never have imagined that you needed your brothers as they were not. 6 Unless you had seen yourself as without love, you could not have judged them so like you in lack. T-15.V.7. The ego's use of relationships is so fragmented that it frequently goes even farther; one part of one aspect suits its purposes, while it prefers different parts of another aspect. 2 Thus does it assemble reality to its own capricious liking, offering for your seeking a picture whose likeness does not exist. 3 For there is nothing in Heaven or earth that it resembles, and so, however much you seek for its reality, you cannot find it because it is not real. T-15.V.8. Everyone on earth has formed special relationships, and although this is not so in Heaven, the Holy Spirit knows how to bring a touch of Heaven to them here. 2 In the holy instant no one is special, for your personal needs intrude on no one to make your brothers seem different. 3 Without the values from the past, you would see them all the same and like yourself. 4 Nor would you see any separation between yourself and them. 5 In the holy instant, you see in each relationship what it will be when you perceive only the present. T-15.V.9. God knows you now. 2 He remembers nothing, having always known you exactly as He knows you now. 3 The holy instant reflects His knowing by bringing all perception out of the past, thus removing the frame of reference you have built by which to judge your brothers. 4 Once this is gone, the Holy Spirit substitutes His frame of reference for it. 5 His frame of reference is simply God. 6 The Holy Spirit's timelessness lies only here. 7 For in the holy instant, free of the past, you see that love is in you, and you have no need to look without and snatch love guiltily from where you thought it was. T-15.V.10. All your relationships are blessed in the holy instant, because the blessing is not limited. 2 In the holy instant the Sonship gains as one, and united in your blessing it becomes one to you. 3 The meaning of love is the meaning God gave to it. 4 Give to it any meaning apart from His, and it is impossible to understand it. 5 God loves every brother as He loves you; neither less nor more. 6 He needs them all equally, and so do you. 7 In time, you have been told to offer miracles as I direct, and let the Holy Spirit bring to you those who are seeking you. 8 Yet in the holy instant you unite directly with God, and all your brothers join in Christ. 9 Those who are joined in Christ are in no way separate. 10 For Christ is the Self the Sonship shares, as God shares His Self with Christ. T-15.V.11. Think you that you can judge the Self of God? 2 God has created It beyond judgment, out of His need to extend His Love. 3 With love in you, you have no need except to extend it. 4 In the holy instant there is no conflict of needs, for there is only one. 5 For the holy instant reaches to eternity, and to the Mind of God. 6 And it is only there love has meaning, and only there can it be understood. from : https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/course-miracles-chapter-15-v-holy-instant-special-relationships/

Loving Light and the Beast The distrust that is fundamental to the egoic perspective is based on not experiencing the goodness of the universe. From this distrust arises what we call the Beast, the part of the ego that is not only frustrated and angry, but also hates what is good and positive. When you are experiencing the Beast, if there is any love, you hate it and want to destroy it. “Where has it been? Where was it when I needed it?” or “God is supposed to be all-loving, all-merciful, all-compassionate, but if that’s true, why am I suffering so much and why is the world such a mess?” This part of the ego has the consciousness of a young child and it can’t rationalize these things as adults do, consoling and explaining to themselves that, “God is testing me.” Even though a child might not conceptualize it, the thinking is something like, “If God isn’t here when I really need Him, God is no good. If I stay open and vulnerable, I’ll get clobbered again, so what good is He? I don’t want Him—I hate Him. He just makes more trouble for me—I trust and then I get hurt. I had better just depend on myself and forget about Him. No more trusting—that’s it.” Facets of Unity, pg. 48 from : https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/beast Dividing Ourselves At a deeper place, hatred implies self-hatred because hatred itself already reflects a duality: There is me and the other or me and what I hate, which is bound to be a duality within the self as well. Since in truth we are not a duality—we are an expression of the beingness of everything—if we hate anything, we are dividing ourselves, our awareness; we are hating part of our own consciousness. And we are separating ourselves from the oneness of our nature. It cannot be any other way. The Unfolding Now, pg. 107 from: https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hatred

@DrewNows I share your perspective. Being irreverent is one my coping mechanisms so It's just a matter of time. ?

I get lazy about expressing myself. The inspiration seems to go in cycles. I feel ok about that. Quiet periods are ok too. So much of physical/relative existence is cyclical in different ways. In a lot of Gurdjieff styled Work schools, it's taught that if one isn't expressing data from the Causal body then more than likely, one is just blowing egoic hot air. Work schools can be very harsh environments on particular kinds of people. By nature, they nearly have to be. But the Devils advocate in me asks. Is it so necessary for this kind of harshness? There has to be other ways,,,possibly? Come to think of it, the Ridhwan Schools I believe have a softer approach. The rule is about unnecessary talking. Unnecessary talking = unconscious/mechanical. I freely admit to blowing hot air sometimes. I try to observe it. Everything thing has its place, though. Even times for acting like a clown.

@tsuki Me too. ✌️? Thanks, friend.

Uniquely expressing ideas from my own experiences in life which affect others deeply and help them to resolve the disparities in their own lives regarding transformation of being. To connect deeply with others through the written word. I really have no interest in becoming a public personality other than maybe a having some degree of credibility with my ability to express through writing, ideas which connects with others on a deep level. Specifically others who struggle the greatest with resolving their own existential crises. Its an idea which often feeds me inspiration. This is in spite of having no training in composition or of being a writer.

"Rome falls 9 times an hour." - Terence McKenna describing James Joyce's Ulysses. This describes the tone of my emotional life in the past when I've been disconnected from the center. Nonexpression of negative emotions is a barometer of one's enlightenment. I heard someone once say that about the process of purifying the emotional center.

I CHING reading 12-2-2019 Hexagram 25 Innocence. Not Expecting/Not Projecting changing line 6 Hexagram 17 Following A small excerpt from the council of line 6 - This line also councils a person not to blame himself when he has made a mistake. Making mistakes is a part of the Cosmic Way of learning. After recognizing that he has made a mistake, all he needs to do is rid himself of the mistaken idea or belief, let go of the matter, and go on. Only the ego attaches itself to the mistake and indulges in blaming the person. The ego does this to make him afraid of learning. Accepting the ego's blame puts a poison arrow on him, and also opens the door to more blame being heaped on by the egos in others. All these consequences of accepting self blame compromise the misfortune mentioned. He can end his misfortune by freeing himself from the poison arrow of self- blame.

Note to noself/Self. My days left in this body on this planet are numbered. That I'm sure. I better find a way to make them really count. Freqently being in tune and sporadically touching base with the strange attractor is my strategy for getting accurate downloads. Hot steaming showers seem to fascilitate this process. Letting go and returning to beginners mind resets the conditions which spontaneously inspire insights which initiate the process of deepening insights. Creating a space in which insights/images can display themselves brfore me in an empty un perpurbed mind. I'm patiently stalking. Stalking involves sobriety, recognizing the cubic centermeter of Chance when it appears, spontaneity born from clarity, trust and the innocence found in recognizing the good the will witnessed in others when they are vibrationally in resonance. Laughter and lightheartness ?provides extra illumination for the discernment Truth.. ?

A perspective about Conscience There is a necessity for some form of ongoing sitting practice in addition to mindfulness and body awareness. We have to be able to boss our Automaton around at least a little each day in order for our being to grow. Making my Automaton sit still and not think thoughts for at least 20 minutes at a time Is my practice, called Centering Prayer. I'm a person who for years refused to practice any kind of regular meditation. Perhaps you're an athlete and already have a kinesthetic body. Can you make it sit still? Ocke: "We arouse the intelligence of the Spiritual Witness through the practice of ‘I AM’. Through ‘I AM’ we can get access to the universal ‘I AM’. This will bring us a more stable presence and therefore an intuitive intelligence, which is called the intelligence of the Heart. This intelligence will teach us to live from Conscience – that is, to do the Will of the cosmos. Our cognitive intelligence is way to slow for this process." From : http://www.higherbeingbodies.com/a-dialogue-with-ocke.html also: "Formatory thinking is only dualistic; this is to think with the most mechanical part of the intellectual center. To understand something beyond the formatory is to understand with the higher parts of both the intellectual and emotional centers. Reason of understanding is the Reason of your Being. It is the intelligence of your heart. It is literally a working together of Anahatha, the heart-chakra and Vishuda, Ajgna and Ahasrara. The three higher chakras, namely the throat, forehead and crown. The chakras are the sense organs of the Kesdjan-body. They are the same as what we call in our Work the centers. Mr. Adie knew this. This is why his sittings are so important. Doing these will lead to a higher vibration-level of the sense-organs of the Kesdjan body. This will enable you to contact and to receive the higher hydrogens of Work-ideas – these have their residence in the Kesdjan-body of the Earth. The mind is just an over-valued computer and it is not much help in the growing of the Reason of understanding." Ocke: "Remorse will bring conscious suffering. This is to see and feel your own mechanical behaviour or negativity and seeing you can’t do anything about it. Conscious suffering will bring the Work deeper in you and therefore will increase your being so that conscience can speak. It will give a constant and unflagging need to work and enable you to pass the first threshold. Conscious suffering is the medicine to make the Automaton surrender to the Permanent Witness. The Automaton is an instrument. The Permanent Witness has to learn how to use it. This process comes into being with man number four." I love this sentence.- Conscious suffering is the medicine to make the Automaton surrender to the Permanent Witness.

Knowing your body, and creating an energy body, are the first two steps on the Wisdom path. Your study of this book/web should be accompanied by some type of body and energy work, otherwise the full meaning of the concepts in this book will never become clear. The ideas presented presuppose an experience of body/energy Awareness, considered by most to be an "altered state of consciousness". Without this background and experience with the body and the soul, you will not be able to make sense of many of the ideas. Isolated development of the spirit alone, without a solid foundation in the body and soul, is simply not possible. from : http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/brain-and-mind/ another excerpt from the same page - When you are in head centered ego dominated consciousness, you are functioning at the lowest level. It is equivalent to the ground state of the atom where all electrons are in the lowest energy position. To reach awareness and attain mastery you must increase your energy level. You do this by creating a kinesthetic body from out of chaotic imagination. The bioenergies then become a Vehicle of Awareness, a link with the total Self, the right brain and the Universe. Then the new "I" linked with All can develop, create and act. This is the path to reality - the fourth dimension - where the Mandelbrot formula applies for navigation through chaos.

Yes - Heart of the Sunrise https://youtu.be/7WDkdZ6QvXY

Lose a front tooth and immediately experience being marginalized by the majority of people you encounter. I also saw this in myself, as the one who judged others for such things. For appearances. I saw some of my automatic judgements. Afterward I was a little bit freer. It's ok to have preferences. It doesn't matter. Cuture endorses acquired Conscience which changes from Culture to Culture. Inner quiet and peace is experienced with Awakened Conscience. Which is universal. It's in the language of the smile. Nobody seems to really want this.

https://iasos.com/metaphys/bashar/ Thanks @Waken Great resource for Bashar. Lots of links inside. Ive just partially discovered him for myself within the last year. From the link you gave I just found a clip of where he was questioned about dmt. https://youtu.be/-Gjc9hhhtro

Having abandoned modern dental care years ago, I look crazy if I smile or laugh big. Back in the 90's a friend introduced me to the idea of making my own colloidal silver. I learned how to clear up infection in a tooth in about 2-3 days. But it hasn't prevented most of them from slowly rotting out. I'm really ok about it as long as I can find soft foods to eat.

I have no idea what this is,,,? Guess I'm officially schizophrenic.

Poejomolayrdr af opening up my housemate tom Oe3 - 4 days to provide liupy de one on one Inquiry and dialogue i ewwrtppppypp somewhat to oprove ,. edidcatedh

I had forgotten about this great Fourth Way Website. http://www.rahul.net/raithel/otfw/fourthway.html An excerpt - The scientific information contained in these essays is generally accepted and can be found on the web or in popular modern books. What is different here and not contained in those sources, is the organization or ordering of the information. In particular, the structure applied here is based on my understanding of the fourth way. It may seem strange to see fourth way ideas expressed in terms of modern scientific thought, but much of the fourth way cosmology is supported by modern science (albeit unwittingly). It would appear, to one who values the fourth way even above modern science, to give modern science a special validity, especially in that area of modern endeavor known as quantum physics. In a similar way, we can find correspondences between modern psychological and neurological discoveries with fourth way ideas, but again the interpretation of the information, its meaning, is understood differently. I am writing this and publishing it here because I think it is a useful example of how work on the fourth way (called, simply, "the work") can lead us into a more active and personal relationship with the world in which we find ourselves. We now find an announcement of some new scientific discovery intriguing, know what relates or might relate to it, "where it belongs" so to speak, and how it might add to our understanding in many different areas. We read a myth and suddenly gain an insight into something the inventors were trying to tell us. The fourth way enables us to integrate knowledge with life and so forge a path of ever-increasing understanding and wonder.

Good question. The I Ching advises me to not look the other person in the eye if I have been treated unjustly because it only feeds the painbody of the other person. Also it counsels to ask in an inner way for the other persons higher self to come into the picture while you're in their presence. In a sense, to become a placeholder for them while they are controlled by the reactivity of the ego.

One of my practices is avoiding verbal expressions of negative emotions. This does mean I repress them but rather not give expression to them. It's crucial to feel what ever you feel and to sit with it completely. Feeling them fully but not identify with whatever arises. It can be a very difficult thing to do but when I'm able to sit with and "cook" until some inner processing provides relief or understanding - To use a metaphor. We can feel spiritual coin added to the account of our being. This process in in itself increases that capacity for sitting with difficult things which will arise in the future and not get swept away by identifying with thoughts or emotions. Gurdjieff referred to it as "good cooking". It's not an easy thing and there is also benefit in watching oneself Failing (going over the waterfall.) The more we practice, even observing our failures, the stronger this capacity becomes. In short, totally feel what you feel but don't give verbal expression of negative emotion. This grows one's Being and the capacity for non-identification. Gurdjieff used to give newlyweds cheap dishes to through and smash against the wall as an alternative to being overtaken by word vomit. Angry word vomit causes loss of chi energy.