Zigzag Idiot

As Lento related, I as well appreciated your sharing. I don't see auras either or experience astral projection except possibility on one isolated occasion but I went ahead and related a bit of the paranormal phenomena which I have experienced in the last few years in my Journal last night. ?‍♂️✌️

I've had just one brief instance of a lucid dream. The effect it had on me was very powerful. This was twenty years ago. I've kept a dream journal off and on over the years. Doing this always results in an increase of dreams and dream recall. I've had a few dreams which were super vivid but they were not lucid dreams. I have one paranormal symptom that developed a couple of years ago. I hear a chorus of crickets that varies in volume. When I do Centering Prayer meditation, the sound of crickets will often grow louder in association with states of objectless awareness. At the same time, I'll feel an increase in pressure or slight throb in my prefrontal lobes. At about one year after beginning Centering Prayer meditation this Cricket sound appeared along with an inner seeing which happened during one particular meditation. It was not a pleasant thing I saw. There is a correlation though in my experience between the third eye opening, objectless awareness and hearing the Crickets. http://humanityhealing.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/The-Cerebellum-and-the-Alta-Major.pdf

Arnold Keyserling's teaching on palmistry came out of an obscure Chinese text if I remember right. In describing the potentials represented in the lines of the hands he Called the left hand, the moon hand and the right hand, the Sun hand. If your "awareness" line in the moon hand is like mine, which runs up in between the index finger and the middle finger, he says this indicates someone who has a hard-on for spiritual development. This is a picture of my moon hand which I marked with a red dot. Did you realize the lines of your hands change? Observe them over time and see for yourself. Its a fascinating study. Triangles represent gifts and squares indicates difficulties. http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/energy/

From the Sufi Tradition The Presence of Pure Joy and Delight So, for example, activating the Yellow Latifa opens up one of the faculties of the heart, which is to wish, want, or long for what it misses. The wish is for what the soul, or its heart naturally and spontaneously loves. The Yellow latifa is the presence of pure joy and delight, but it also causes the soul to become curious and activates its sacred impulse of true and innocent wanting. This means that the greater and deeper that the realization of the Yellow Latifa, the deeper the truth one's heart loves and wants to behold. ISpacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 256 The Lataif are a Dimension of Essence The lataif, as Shah says, are not only centers but also forms of consciousness, operating on the subtle dimension. These forms of consciousness when understood precisely, will be seen as a dimension of essence, a subtle form of substance. They comprise the subtle body (Jism latif). They are the beginning experience of essence in some of its basic aspects. For instance, the green latifa is the beginning of compassion, or the loving kindness aspect of essence. The red latifa is the beginning of the strength aspect of essence, and so on. They are called lataif, meaning qualities that have subtlety, gentleness, and refinement to them, and are the first subtle and fine manifestation of essence. To use an analogy: if essence is like the oil of a perfume, the lataif will be its aromas. A latifa is like the vapor of the oil, which, in turn, is the essential substance. So the lataif are forms of essence that is a fine, very subtle, and gentle presence that pervades space. It is so fine and so subtle that it is very likely that an individual will fail to discriminate it from space, the void. Of course, as each latifa is activated, it will bring out with it to consciousness a certain sector of the personality, which must be confronted and understood objectively. The experience of the void does not indicate that the work on the personality has ended, definitely not. It heralds the beginning of essential development. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 143 More about the Lataif can be found here https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/lataif

It varies a lot it seems and often depends the kind of work I'm doing as well as how mindful I am with my posture. The effects for me are immediate though and often lasts for several days. That's a good idea with the rubber ball. My father used to do something very similar to that. I near constantly adjust/crack my neck. More than once a day for sure.

I've had near chronic neck tension for most of my adult life. Luckily there is an abundance of massage therapists where I live. I've sampled enough of them to realize that some of them are especially gifted. A good massage therapist can help relieve deep tensions which can realign the body posture and make a significant difference. That's my experience anyway. Hot steaming shower on neck and upper back at the end of the day also helps me a lot.

@tsuki Interesting,,,, I'm going to ponder on that. @Leo Gura Can I put $35.00 in the tip jar to get Wasem access to the booklist?

I made a decision when I joined Actualized that I would not follow other jounalers officially, although I've been tempted a time or two. But if you are following my Journal, I always read your posts when I run across them. There are several jounalers and posters out in the forum that I follow in my own way and I'm probably making too big a deal out of it but thought I should maybe explain myself. I seek out their Journals and posts sometimes because their viewpoints interest me. My reasoning for taking this stance could be skewed and illogical. So it's probably more selfishness than arrogance that I do this although I struggle with both. My ego is flattered but my True Self is humbled that I have a few who are following my Journal. Anyone is welcome to private message me. Especially you guys following me. Conversations with me out in the open often result in me saying something off the wall and awkward and half cringeworthy but not on purpose. Not always, so take your chances if you want or like I said private messages are fine. I don't do well usually in a quick back and forth message exchange with PM's. I'm usually multitasking and I'm bad to obsess and spend too much time phrasing and wording when I'm cooresponding. But if someone writes me with a question or sometimes a comment that begs a response although sometimes slow, I always write back. Often quick though. Depends on what I have going on. This is one one thing that has made me reconsider my Center of Gravity in regards to the three brained being typology. At first I considered myself an intellectually centered type. After a great deal of self Observation of the pattern of intense swings in emotion, I thought then I must be an emotionally centered person.. This is all after I ignored the suggestion of the lady who taught me the system or got me started on the study of essence/endocrine types, anyway. She suggested that I was an Instinctive or moving centered type. People who can't sit still is an indication of one having their center of gravity as Instinctivemoving. Intellectual type isn't any better than emotional or Instinctive centered. It gets complicated because the Instinctive Center is subdivided between Instinctive moving centered and just plain Instinctive centered people who are often preoccupied with diet and cooking. Ive always been one to chose my words carefully where it stops the flow of conversation unless I'm on a rant or inspired download. The element of being slow speaker is a very dominant trait with Intellectually centered types. This is going to miff a percentage reading this because I'm going to declare that pure true thinking is slow. Way slower than the reactivity of strong emotion or really any emotion. When a baseball pitcher catches a batted baseball that would have hit his face is an example of the speed of the instinctive center which is even quicker than the emotional center. Perhaps I've lept up out of my grave and I'm a balanced person. From what I gather though even after reaching the station of balanced human, one of the centers will still be slightly dominant. So I've gone full circle in typing my center of gravity. This is really practical in regards to self observation, Inquiry, and work on oneself. Nobody can do it for you. You have to have enough interest to be self motivated in learning the system good enough to see if it applies to making sense of things in your life. Requires some effort. True thinking is a very slow process opposed to being witty which is represented by the Jack of diamonds or Formatory center of the mind which is also defined as the mechanical part of the Intellectual center. Queen of diamonds is represents the emotional part of the Intellectual center. She represents the center of gravity ruled by an emotional love of ideas. King of diamonds represents the Intellectual part of Intellectual center which involves the capacity in always being able to direct one's attention. Self Love means self acceptance and not identifying with thoughts or emotions. We experience the thinking and the feeling of them but we don't identify and take them as who we are. Self Love requires absorbing the small self in integration and separation from the superego (individuating).

Catchy song from back in the day I ran onto. I always liked it but never I gave the words much thought. Gives me a tinge of remorse of Conscience because I'm the kind of selfish, self absorbed knucklehead like the guy singing the song. It's catchy but kind of a depressing negative song.

He makes a good point about paying the price for spiritual development.

Lsd vs Mushrooms My friend hit the bullseye psychologically with a stout dose of lsd a couple of weeks ago. We shared a few mushroom trips together the last few months and she wanted to give lsd a try. The first time I gave her 100 ug and she wasn't very impressed. In the meantime I had been using Lsd fairly frequently. Enough that I experienced developing a tolerance to it. Time went by and she wanted to try a heavier dose so I gave her 500ug which had become just an average dose for me. Life hasn't been easy for her the last few years. She has had a number of health issues including a battle with breast cancer. Over the weekend we did another Cubensis trip and I really learned how beneficial the lsd trip had been for her as we talked. All of our psilocybin trips we had used 5 dried grams of Golden Teacher cubensis made into a tea with lemon juice. They were all pleasant. No bad trips. She got a little sick to her stomach once but it wasn't a big deal for her. To her, the lsd trip freed her up in a sense psychologically more dramatically than any of the mushroom trips. She was adamant about that as we shared and processed over the weekend. ?‍♂️ Go figure,,,,as the saying goes,,,, At higher doses body temperature noticeably rises. For me it has become an aphrodisiac. A few months ago that would have been an absurd notion to me. Go figure,,,,,, again,,,,,?‍♂️ More later on why I quit trying to give trip reports,,,

Thank you @Petals Rich resource you shared!

I observe the meta-symbol of The Keyserling Wheel as being analogous to God - human - material and the metaphysical bridging self similarity over scales with the integration of multi perspectives which aligns with the Almaas description absorbing aspects of essence into one's Being.

The complete listing of excerpts about Actualization from https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/actualization Regardless of one's sex, Almaas refers to the soul as a she. The soul as a receptive field of impressionability,,,, Relevant to the 4th and 10th quote down. Both of which are from - The Inner Journey Home. Actualization Involves the Fusion of Being and Living The inner realization and development becomes expressed in life, becomes the source of one’s life, the substance of this life. Everything in one’s life becomes a reflection of this realization, an expression and an intimate extension of it. In this way, realization becomes an actualization. It is not only an inner experience, but an actualized life. Life becomes a continuity of Being, instead of a string of events. It is as if the fullness of the Personal Essence pervades every corner of one’s life, filling it, expanding it, transforming it and authentically actualizing it. One’s Being and one’s life are one thing, inseparable and unified. One is a personal living presence. Living one’s life, doing one’s job and relating to others, are the same as being oneself in the world. Actualization involves the fusion of Being and living. One is simply being oneself, and this naturally translates into the life of Essence. One feels in direct and immediate contact with one’s life and activities. There are accomplishments, achievements, tasks, jobs and so forth, but they are not of the same quality as those activities conducted by the ego individuality. They are completely inseparable from being oneself. One does not achieve for any reason; it is the natural expression and extension of one’s Personal Essence. Achievements are not looked at as ways to gain recognition, love, self-esteem, success, fame, power and so on. They might bring such things, but they are not for such ends. They are merely the natural expression of being oneself, living and functioning authentically. One does not care about gain from success in the world; success in the world can happen, but only as a side consequence of gaining one’s authentic Being. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 348 Development and Actualization of a State is what is Needed to go Beyond It The process of development is the same thing as the process of unveiling or shedding at the same time. The development and the actualization of a state is what is needed to go beyond it. They are not two separate things. You cannot go beyond self until you actualize self. For instance, when finally you know your true self, you are it, you realize in the same instant that you’ve gone beyond it. You do not need it any more because you’ve got it. That is the hierarchy of needs—when you do not have it, you need it. You must look for it, but the moment you get it, get it completely, you do not need it any longer. It is not exactly that you do not need it any longer; you realize that it is not important. You realize that it is an idea in your mind anyway. But you do not know that it is just an idea in your mind until you get it. The process of the satisfaction of the needs, the totality of the hierarchy, is the same process as the process of unveiling or shedding. So it looks paradoxical but it is really not a paradox; it is the same thing. When I say you need to let go of your desires, how do you do that? You do not let go by saying you are going to let go; you let go by actualizing them, by understanding them completely. In my opinion, there is no other way than by completely experiencing them. Complete understanding and actualization opens the door for transcendence, for Being to take consciousness further. You cannot let go of self until you completely have self. You cannot let go of your own will until you completely have your will. You cannot let go of love until you have love. That is the natural process of penetrating, of unveiling. If we remember that this is a process, that the actualization is at the same time a loss, a going beyond, that will help us to not get so frustrated and suffer so much. Diamond Heart Book Four, pg. 154 Do We Create the Kind of Environment that Supports the Actualization of the Truth ? It’s possible to examine the extent to which our lives reflect the truth we know. What kinds of foods do we eat? Do we exercise? How do we manage our schedules? Do we find out what we enjoy doing and then set about doing it? Do we allow ourselves the rest and the aloneness that we need in order to experience the preciousness of reality? Or do we spend day after day being lazy, procrastinating, living routines that make us miserable? What do we do in terms of our relationships? Do we try to live those relationships according to the truth that we know? Do we apply the experiences we’ve had of ourselves and others and the world, or do we reserve our insights for special occasions? Do we create the kind of environment that supports the actualization of the truth? Or do we believe that it’s sufficient to experience ourselves as precious, and then expect the angels to come and clean our room every day? We’re talking about very practical matters here. We’re talking about applying what we know and what we learn, making the effort, expending the energy to live with sincerity. We do the work, we practice the teaching, every minute of our lives, not only when we meditate or go to a session or a meeting. For example, if we know that we are more in touch with ourselves when we are relaxed, do we try to pay attention so that we’re as relaxed as possible all the time? Do we organize our time and our life so that we minimize confusion and unnecessary activity? So we see that there are practical sides to loving the truth for its own sake. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 242 Only with the Actualization of Essence can the Soul be Free, Completely Authentic and Totally Serene The soul can develop before enlightenment, by actualizing many of her potentials, as we see in the actualization of creative and intellectual potentials. Spiritual realization is not the only development, and does not imply or guarantee other kinds of development. Realized individuals, as a result, can be developed in various ways and on many levels in relation to the various human potentials. However, the soul’s freedom and the fulfillment of her deepest longings depend on the realization of her essential potential. Only with the actualization of essence can the soul be free, completely authentic and totally serene. Essence is her true nature, without which she is estranged, lost, inauthentic, empty, and twisted. Regardless how much of her potential she actualizes, regardless how much a genius she becomes, artistically or scientifically, if she does not realize her essential nature her experience continues to be characterized by emptiness and strife, on the same level as most human beings. This is why the wisdom traditions think of their work as the most significant for humanity, as transcending any artistic, scientific, cultural, or intellectual kind of education and development. The essence of the soul stands apart from the rest of all of her potential, for it is the only possibility she has for finding true liberation and fulfillment. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 75 Personalization of an Aspect Indicates that it is a Personal Attainment and Actualization of that Part of One’s Potential Each aspect becomes so deeply integrated that it is no longer experienced as part of oneself, but as oneself. In other words, each aspect becomes absorbed into the Personal Essence. This process is the gradual development of the Personal Essence. It attains the qualities and capacities of each aspect, as the latter is absorbed into it. We refer to this process as the personalization of Essence, because each essential aspect becomes personal as it is integrated and absorbed into the consciousness as a further development of the Personal Essence. Joy becomes a personal Joy, Peace becomes a personal Peace, Truth becomes a personal Truth, and so on. This can be seen in two ways. One way is that the personalization of an aspect indicates that it is a personal attainment and actualization of that part of one’s potential. It becomes recognized as an undifferentiable part of oneself, and not as a state that one experiences once in a while. For instance, the Diamond Consciousness is the capacity for objective understanding and direct insight. At the beginning one has insights once in a while, especially under certain conditions. After this aspect is personalized one permanently attains the capacity for insight and objective understanding. One now uses this capacity whenever it is needed, just as one can use one’s legs to walk whenever walking is needed. It is completely part of who one is. It is no longer a state, but an organ of one’s organism and consciousness. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 341 Realization of Emptiness in Its Various Grades Leads to the Discovery of Essence and to Its Actualization as the Real Life As the process of the deepening dissolution of boundaries and the related experiences of space goes on (which we mentioned above need follow no absolute sequence), it usually happens that all manner of experiences and realizations not directly involving space intervene. We refer particularly to the experience of essence in its various aspects and dimensions. In fact, the experience of essence contributes greatly to the deepening experience of space. Without the invaluable presence of essence, it is very difficult, almost impossible, to tolerate the loss of the deeper boundaries. The experience of ego death and annihilation is too frightening to allow without the experience of a reality beyond the ego, the reality of Being, our true essence. And in turn, the realization of emptiness in its various grades contributes to the discovery and development of essence, and ultimately to its actualization as the real life. The dimension of space deepens and opens up as the realm of Being deepens and expands. The ultimate experience of space is beyond all concepts, even the concepts of space and Being. This is the experience of nonconceptual reality, the ground of all existence. It cannot even be called an experience. We can call it the Ultimate Space or the Supreme Reality as long as we remember that such concepts fail to reach it. It is the ultimate mystery, where mind cannot go. This ultimate reality, beyond all concepts, is seen then to be one’s true identity, one’s ultimate self. It is knowing oneself without self-image. It is knowing oneself by being oneself. This is self-realization. The Void, pg. 149 Actualization Involves the Fusion of Being and Living The inner realization and development becomes expressed in life, becomes the source of one’s life, the substance of this life. Everything in one’s life becomes a reflection of this realization, an expression and an intimate extension of it. In this way, realization becomes an actualization. It is not only an inner experience, but an actualized life. Life becomes a continuity of Being, instead of a string of events. It is as if the fullness of the Personal Essence pervades every corner of one’s life, filling it, expanding it, transforming it and authentically actualizing it. One’s Being and one’s life are one thing, inseparable and unified. One is a personal living presence. Living one’s life, doing one’s job and relating to others, are the same as being oneself in the world. Actualization involves the fusion of Being and living. One is simply being oneself, and this naturally translates into the life of Essence. One feels in direct and immediate contact with one’s life and activities. There are accomplishments, achievements, tasks, jobs and so forth, but they are not of the same quality as those activities conducted by the ego individuality. They are completely inseparable from being oneself. One does not achieve for any reason; it is the natural expression and extension of one’s Personal Essence. Achievements are not looked at as ways to gain recognition, love, self-esteem, success, fame, power and so on. They might bring such things, but they are not for such ends. They are merely the natural expression of being oneself, living and functioning authentically. One does not care about gain from success in the world; success in the world can happen, but only as a side consequence of gaining one’s authentic Being. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 348 Development and Actualization of a State is what is Needed to go Beyond It The process of development is the same thing as the process of unveiling or shedding at the same time. The development and the actualization of a state is what is needed to go beyond it. They are not two separate things. You cannot go beyond self until you actualize self. For instance, when finally you know your true self, you are it, you realize in the same instant that you’ve gone beyond it. You do not need it any more because you’ve got it. That is the hierarchy of needs—when you do not have it, you need it. You must look for it, but the moment you get it, get it completely, you do not need it any longer. It is not exactly that you do not need it any longer; you realize that it is not important. You realize that it is an idea in your mind anyway. But you do not know that it is just an idea in your mind until you get it. The process of the satisfaction of the needs, the totality of the hierarchy, is the same process as the process of unveiling or shedding. So it looks paradoxical but it is really not a paradox; it is the same thing. When I say you need to let go of your desires, how do you do that? You do not let go by saying you are going to let go; you let go by actualizing them, by understanding them completely. In my opinion, there is no other way than by completely experiencing them. Complete understanding and actualization opens the door for transcendence, for Being to take consciousness further. You cannot let go of self until you completely have self. You cannot let go of your own will until you completely have your will. You cannot let go of love until you have love. That is the natural process of penetrating, of unveiling. If we remember that this is a process, that the actualization is at the same time a loss, a going beyond, that will help us to not get so frustrated and suffer so much. Diamond Heart Book Four, pg. 154 Do We Create the Kind of Environment that Supports the Actualization of the Truth ? It’s possible to examine the extent to which our lives reflect the truth we know. What kinds of foods do we eat? Do we exercise? How do we manage our schedules? Do we find out what we enjoy doing and then set about doing it? Do we allow ourselves the rest and the aloneness that we need in order to experience the preciousness of reality? Or do we spend day after day being lazy, procrastinating, living routines that make us miserable? What do we do in terms of our relationships? Do we try to live those relationships according to the truth that we know? Do we apply the experiences we’ve had of ourselves and others and the world, or do we reserve our insights for special occasions? Do we create the kind of environment that supports the actualization of the truth? Or do we believe that it’s sufficient to experience ourselves as precious, and then expect the angels to come and clean our room every day? We’re talking about very practical matters here. We’re talking about applying what we know and what we learn, making the effort, expending the energy to live with sincerity. We do the work, we practice the teaching, every minute of our lives, not only when we meditate or go to a session or a meeting. For example, if we know that we are more in touch with ourselves when we are relaxed, do we try to pay attention so that we’re as relaxed as possible all the time? Do we organize our time and our life so that we minimize confusion and unnecessary activity? So we see that there are practical sides to loving the truth for its own sake. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 242 Only with the Actualization of Essence can the Soul be Free, Completely Authentic and Totally Serene The soul can develop before enlightenment, by actualizing many of her potentials, as we see in the actualization of creative and intellectual potentials. Spiritual realization is not the only development, and does not imply or guarantee other kinds of development. Realized individuals, as a result, can be developed in various ways and on many levels in relation to the various human potentials. However, the soul’s freedom and the fulfillment of her deepest longings depend on the realization of her essential potential. Only with the actualization of essence can the soul be free, completely authentic and totally serene. Essence is her true nature, without which she is estranged, lost, inauthentic, empty, and twisted. Regardless how much of her potential she actualizes, regardless how much a genius she becomes, artistically or scientifically, if she does not realize her essential nature her experience continues to be characterized by emptiness and strife, on the same level as most human beings. This is why the wisdom traditions think of their work as the most significant for humanity, as transcending any artistic, scientific, cultural, or intellectual kind of education and development. The essence of the soul stands apart from the rest of all of her potential, for it is the only possibility she has for finding true liberation and fulfillment. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 75 Personalization of an Aspect Indicates that it is a Personal Attainment and Actualization of that Part of One’s Potential Each aspect becomes so deeply integrated that it is no longer experienced as part of oneself, but as oneself. In other words, each aspect becomes absorbed into the Personal Essence. This process is the gradual development of the Personal Essence. It attains the qualities and capacities of each aspect, as the latter is absorbed into it. We refer to this process as the personalization of Essence, because each essential aspect becomes personal as it is integrated and absorbed into the consciousness as a further development of the Personal Essence. Joy becomes a personal Joy, Peace becomes a personal Peace, Truth becomes a personal Truth, and so on. This can be seen in two ways. One way is that the personalization of an aspect indicates that it is a personal attainment and actualization of that part of one’s potential. It becomes recognized as an undifferentiable part of oneself, and not as a state that one experiences once in a while. For instance, the Diamond Consciousness is the capacity for objective understanding and direct insight. At the beginning one has insights once in a while, especially under certain conditions. After this aspect is personalized one permanently attains the capacity for insight and objective understanding. One now uses this capacity whenever it is needed, just as one can use one’s legs to walk whenever walking is needed. It is completely part of who one is. It is no longer a state, but an organ of one’s organism and consciousness. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 341 Realization of Emptiness in Its Various Grades Leads to the Discovery of Essence and to Its Actualization as the Real Life As the process of the deepening dissolution of boundaries and the related experiences of space goes on (which we mentioned above need follow no absolute sequence), it usually happens that all manner of experiences and realizations not directly involving space intervene. We refer particularly to the experience of essence in its various aspects and dimensions. In fact, the experience of essence contributes greatly to the deepening experience of space. Without the invaluable presence of essence, it is very difficult, almost impossible, to tolerate the loss of the deeper boundaries. The experience of ego death and annihilation is too frightening to allow without the experience of a reality beyond the ego, the reality of Being, our true essence. And in turn, the realization of emptiness in its various grades contributes to the discovery and development of essence, and ultimately to its actualization as the real life. The dimension of space deepens and opens up as the realm of Being deepens and expands. The ultimate experience of space is beyond all concepts, even the concepts of space and Being. This is the experience of nonconceptual reality, the ground of all existence. It cannot even be called an experience. We can call it the Ultimate Space or the Supreme Reality as long as we remember that such concepts fail to reach it. It is the ultimate mystery, where mind cannot go. This ultimate reality, beyond all concepts, is seen then to be one’s true identity, one’s ultimate self. It is knowing oneself without self-image. It is knowing oneself by being oneself. This is self-realization. The Void, pg. 149 Seeing One’s Personal History as the Way One has Been Able to Actualize One’s Personal Realization and Contribution In normal ego development, the mother’s image is internalized, and this provides some basis for a certain kind of satisfaction and connectedness, but only on a superficial level. For true integrated development the Merging Essence must be realized, creating the possibility of the development of the Personal Essence and the sense of being intimately connected to one’s life and achievements. In fact, the Personal Essence is the factor responsible for actualization. When the integration progresses to the essential level one’s accomplishments and attainments become one’s contribution to humanity. It is not only for oneself, and it is not only for humanity. On this level of experience the two are inseparable. One then knows and actualizes one’s true contributions, by the mere fact of living one’s personal life. One’s personal history is now seen as the way one has been able to actualize one’s personal realization and contribution. Personal history finally becomes metabolized in the realization and the development of the Personal Essence. Its fruit is one’s life and the attainments of this life, as one and the same thing. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 351 The Personal Essence, Developing out of the Soul, is Your Actualization of Your Beingness Here The personal essence, the Pearl Beyond Price, however, is a development; it is something that develops out of the Soul when its center is the true self in this life. It is your actualization of your beingness here. When you experience yourself as your beingness, as your personal essence, you feel that you’ve accomplished yourself—not just yourself in the sense of knowing who you truly are, but by knowing who you truly are you start growing and developing your potential. This is the personal essence—personal, with a sense of beingness. The essential self is the experience of “I”; the personal essence is “I am”—not only my identity and my sense of who I am, but myself as a person, here in the world. That being has many skills and capacities, plus wisdom, understanding, and a certain style of life. The true self can be seen as the source, as the inner God, and the personal essence can be seen as the product or the Son of God. In Christian terminology the true self is the Holy Spirit, and the pearl is the Son. The true self is beyond time and space, but the personal essence is in time and space as embodied Being. They’re two parts of an identity that fit together. Diamond Heart Book Three, pg. 67

Horses I've known I began riding horses before I was big enough to put a saddle on one or get into the saddle without having to lead the horse and make it stand by the corral. I would then use the corral as a ladder and hop into the saddle. My first horse was a huge, docile palomino named Pal that I would just lead around like a pet brontosaurus. One summer afternoon I was leading Pal for a stroll around the wellhouse and I stopped for some reason and Pal stepped onto my little bare foot and stood there for a brief time with a good bit of his weight smashing my bare foot against the hard shale ground. I still remember the pain and Pal's seeming indifference. I screamed with everything I had. It seemed like an eternity before Pal got a clue and got off my bare foot. It hurt so bad I almost passed out. I couldn't walk. I remember crawling/dragging myself away from Pal and towards the house. No bones in my foot had been broken but it was one of my first good lessons in paying attention. The pain I felt as he stood on my foot was intense. My next horse was a better fit. A Heinz 57 runt sorrel named Cricket. I think Cricket had some Shetland in his pedigree but despite that, he had a great disposition. As a rule, Shetland's are notorious for being ornery. If you don't like your child or think they're in need of a little character building, just buy them a Shetland pony. I don't remember what happened to Cricket but my next horse was a kind of a strawberry roan Welch pony named Prince. Welch ponies are bigger than Shetlands but shorter than the usual riding or working horse. Prince was an asshole. By that time I was just big enough to saddle him by myself with some strategy and great effort. Prince had several bad habits. One was that he had a way of bringing up one hind leg in a weird maneuver and kicking me when I put my left foot up into the styrup to get on him. I resorted to mounting him from the corral fence but the little bastard learned to step away from the fence if I was too slow. I had to constantly change my strategies like lead him by a pickup bed, stock trailer, or anything I could climb onto, to launch onto his back. Prince also had the bad habit of jumping up and trying to scrape me off his back whenever I rode him under low hanging tree limbs. He would also vastly overcompensate in jumping small streams as if they were the Grand Canyon. Without a firm hold onto the saddle horn, I would just find myself left in midair as he dramatically launched across. Whenever I got thrown off, there was no catching him as a rule, either. He would just prance around ahead of me with his head up like he was laughing at me and eventually return to the barn or find a sweet spot to graze. My next horse was a hand-me-down from my sister. A small distinguished black and white paint horse named Cisco. I got along pretty good with Cisco. For a small horse, Cisco preferred to run flat out instead of gallop. Cricket and Cisco both enjoyed gathering cattle. Prince was moody and untrustworthy and seemed to only enjoy being left alone or making things difficult for me. There were many more horses,,,, In time I opted for small motorcycles instead of horses. You didn't have to catch and saddle a motorcycle or be on guard for it opposing you in unexpected ways. To be continued sometime maybe ,,,,,

Dovetails nicely with the idea of Contemplative Psychoanalysis perhaps.

Damn it! Those You tube Precogs are feeding me prompts of old sappy songs I've forgetting about. Someone please post a rap song or something contemporary to give everyone some relief from all this.,,,,

@Marc Schinkel Hey bud! As synchronicity would have it. I was just on my way here to post a sappy love song from the 70's. Lol Good to see you around again,,,

To me they are two completely different animals or to use another analogy they're apples and oranges. 5 meo dmt is more powerful than lsd but extremely short lived and with no visual hallucinations as opposed to lsd which lasts for several hours which is pleasant, IF, it's a good trip. Set and setting are so important as well as and being psychologically prepared. Whichever which one you choose. I think having a trusted "sitter" is wise in the beginning with the first 2 or 3 trips.

In regards to Inquiry and meditation, and in the category of less is more, a friend sent me this quote recently. I think it's from Cynthia Bourgeault. So right on, but easier said than done. “Anguish is where transformation occurs; in meditation, don’t bypass pain, rather sit with it and transform it. “

There's no need to sugar coat it. Just go ahead and tell us how you really feel. ?

Just realized Alex already had this video In posted High Consciousness Resources in the Psychonauts of all kinds thread.

@ 39 minutes Stan Grof talks about his first 5 meo dmt trip.