Zigzag Idiot

"We are angels with a Siamese twin, who is a monkey, growing out of our chest." - Terence McKenna I posted the song An Innocent Man by Billy Joel this morning in the music thread as a possible expression of Self Love, contrasted to self love which Maurice Nicoll speaks of. I didn't claim innocence this morning. Specifically, I wrote- "This song to me is a good expression of Self Love. Seeing self love at work vs. Self Love. A DESCRIPTION “I well know as a medical psychologist the awkward point where I had to say to the patient: ‘Yes—I can see you have been badly treated, never appreciated, never properly understood. You have told me all that very clearly. But do you think that it is possible that you are not quite the ideal person that you seem to imagine yourself to be, and that there may be some quite serious faults in yourself?’ Now you can all imagine the haughty look, the frozen smile, the magnificent rising from the chair—and the slamming of the door—without, of course, the fee being paid. Yes—but what has happened. . . What has been touched? What would you call it? Whatever you call it, it is this factor that prevents self-change...If he sees for himself something of this factor in him, which is so formidable and the source of so much violence, then it is not aroused antagonistically. He sees himself: he begins to accept what he would never have accepted from another. It is in this way that the Work deals with this otherwise intractable fac- tor in Man.” V. 3, pp. 1165-1166 PRIDE AND VANITY “You must study Pride and Vanity in yourselves and all their different gradations. Do you know your own forms of Vanity and how much they occupy you? Do you know where your Pride lies? Where do you feel that you love yourself, that you admire yourself? Where do you most feel that you are utterly different from other people? Where are you most conceited? What do you boast about? What are you silent about? Vanity is frequently very talkative, whereas Pride is silent. Which is the deeper wound, wounded Vanity or wounded Pride? What is it you cannot forgive? You know that if you cannot forgive it is because of some form of self-love which, ideally speaking, has to be smashed out of you.” V. 1, p. 360 SELF-LOVE “One can feel very startled when one realizes that it is always this thing called oneself that is being comforted, exalted, tittilated, soothed, flattered, satisfied, and that when it is not, it begins to whimper like a baby. And it is always this odd restless thing that is being offended, upset, negative, indignant, downcast. Cast down from what? From its centrepoint of self-love.” V. 2, p. 472 SELF-LOVE II “Ask yourself sometimes: ‘Why am I doing this?’ or ‘Why am I saying this?’ or ‘Why am I behaving in this way?’ or ‘Why am I writing this?’ Whatever imaginary robes of self-righteousness we clothe ourselves in, these questions tend to undress us again...When we have gone more deeply into self-observation and self-knowledge, we simply have to give up a lot of the manifestations of the self-love, disguised as something genuine.” V. 2, p. 476 LAUGHING AT ONESELF “Now one way to attack the self-love is through self-observation. . . . It is wonderful to catch a glimpse of your self-love and be able to laugh at it. One loses the former highly-explosive over-sensitive feeling of ‘I’ more and more. That means more balance. That means becoming softer.” V. 5, p. 1604 ENDURING DEVALUATION “It would be impossible to catch a glimpse of one’s level of Being unless one could endure it. Now the only way you can endure it is by having something else you can hold onto. If you have something else that you value and that you can hold on to and trust, you can then endure a certain amount of devaluation of yourself.” V. 2, p.509 ENDURING DEVALUATION II “When you begin to feel your own nothingness you begin to receive the help of the Work to replace that nothingness by something. So you have to go down a long way before you begin to go up.” V. 3, p. 878 From - https://inner-world-books.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Gems_of_Wisdom.pdf Arnold Keyserling once framed it another way as the objective capacity to 'know the kind of shit one is' in reality, as opposed to lofty conceptual ideals.

Just stumbled over this trailer. Gonna have to seek out this documentary. I've been hitting the pawn shops lately looking for a used DVD of The Last Emporer. In the past week I've returned to visiting Pornhub again. I'm a proponent of minimalistic living. Often labeled as being a "hoarder" by the younger generation. Terence McKenna speaks to this current generational disconnect.

For me, Mandy's video had strong elements of what in the Gurdjieff Work is called Self Remembering. In this work, the experience of Self Remembering is said to be so big, that it can't be defined with words. I see/feel elements of it also in Leo's, Emerald's and Akilesh's talks. I've bought but havn't yet read Akilesh's book - How to Find What Isn't Lost. Poet Red Hawk devoted an entire book to Self Remembering which is extremely readable. About the state of Self Remembering, Maurice Nicoll said - DIFFERENT FORMS OF SELF-REMEMBERING “Since we are different at different moments, Self-Remembering is different at different times. The ‘Sly Man’ knows this. He does not always practice the same method. To do so is to make it mechani- cal...He notices what was and is no longer useful and invents some other way...There are many ways of Self-Remembering. But they all depend on the feeling that there is something else, that this life on this extremely bad planet is not explicable in terms of itself. There is something else.” V. 2, pp. 374-5 DIFFERENT FORMS II “Try to get out of your own way. Try to let something get in that cannot because you are in the way. Can you stop the noise of yourself for even a moment? Can you get out of the ordinary feeling of yourself? Can you become no one for a moment to yourself? Or, by contrast, can you feel the intense reality of yourself? Can you feel I in all you have to do, for a time? All these are different ways of remembering oneself. There are many other ways, but try to discover one for yourself, to begin with, and get to know the taste of it.” V. 2, p. 375 DIFFERENT FORMS III “If you are in a bad state you remember yourself in one way, and when in a good state you have to remember yourself in another way and it is often more difficult.” V. 3, p. 926 DIFFERENT FORMS IV “It is only by applying the Work to oneself in one’s own particular case that one can realize what Self-Remembering is...Try to observe what particular person you go most asleep about, the person with whom you are most negatively identified...You cannot remember yourself unless you know through sincere observation that you are asleep in some specific sense. Then you must awaken in this part of yourself and try to be what you know.” V. 4, p. 1404 AN INTERNAL MOVEMENT “To remember oneself it is necessary to look in and look out. One must see the outer and see oneself in relation to the outer. But actually no one can see in and see out at the same time any more than a person can breathe in and breathe out at the same time...And so Self-Remembering can be thought of as consisting in some to and fro motion, psychological in nature, that has to be carried out consciously—that is, with a certain pressure of the attention that is given by aim or by the feeling of the Work. For example, I look at the person, and then at my reaction in the light of my aim, then outward again at the person, then inward at my reaction, and so on. Identifying then becomes impossible.” V. 2, p. 410 WHAT IT ISN’T “Self-Remembering is not going against the flood-stream of inner and outer things. It is raising oneself—not contending. Contending is another kind of effort. Self-Remembering is a non-identifying with oneself—for an instant—as if one were merely acting and had forgot- ten.” V. 2, p. 461 THE EMOTIONAL ASPECT “Impressions that are taken in in a state of Self-Remembering become emotional. Even the simplest thing can become interesting or beauti- ful and reflect some meaning you had never perceived.” V. 1, p. 199 THE PHYSICAL ASPECT “The Work says that a moment of Self-Remembering supplies every cell in the body with food of a kind that it does not ordinarily get.” V. 2, p. 656 RELAXING “Sometimes by completely relaxing, knowing that one is in a wrong state, and trying to stop all thought and movement and tension both in the muscles and in the brain, the situation is quite suddenly reversed and a better state takes its place...This stopping of thoughts and relaxing, which it is so important to practice every day, is a form of Self-Remembering...It is a marvelous thing to experience a moment of not being identified with oneself, with all this uproar, with all this ever- returning and useless turmoil...And we realize how true it is that help cannot reach us while we are in this ordinary state.”V.2,p.450 From -

This one has already been posted in This guy can really sing. Like K T Tunstill's Universe and U, I never get tired of hearing it. This song to me is a good expression of Self Love.

Thanks for sharing.@mandyjw I can relate,,,, The power of love, forgiveness and understanding,,,,, Here Cohen plays the role of a gay fashion model. in Sufism there is the path of the Malamat or the Way of Blame sometimes taken to the extreme. The Bruno role he played reminded me in a way of 'the path of blame'. ?‍♂️ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malamatiyya @Marc Schinkel Thanks, I wasn't aware of this one. I'll check it out,,,,

Sacha Baron Cohen is a creative genius who has the capacity for playing a role. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacha_Baron_Cohen

Thanks man, Got a kick out of that interview. ????

The Preface I have worked out a preliminary protocol to support the fire of kundalini without getting fried and to prevent the years of depression-like fallout that often happens after an awakening. As the science of kundalini progresses such a protocol for adaptation or higher homeostasis will be refined and expanded. Till then, please be aware dear reader that this is an experimental book, the research that will give us the definitive answers to this mystery has yet to be done. In the past we have had no scientific understanding as to what was actually happening to us during kundalini. Now in with modern science we can begin to understand what is really going on. The Biology of Kundalini is a revolutionary book, long overdue. It will change the way we look at spiritual evolution, medicine and ourselves. With this book I offer a theory of the biology of kundalini, which explains all the symptoms, suggests a protocol of adaptation, and encourages research into a new branch of medicine...Evolutionary Medicine. It is part Self-help book and part notes for scientists and medical minds with an interest in consciousness. It also honors the often difficult process of spiritual crisis in a way that hopefully will reduce the suffering for those undergoing the cruxification, and for those around them watching. This information will be invaluable for anyone going through an awakening, for their family and therapists both medical and psychological. I recommend you pass over areas you find dry on the first couple of readings. If the subject of metamorphosis in anyway inspires you then eventually even the dry areas will become juicey. The Exhaustion Phase is the seed of BOK which you can use along with the skills and protocol to construct an adaptation or recovery program that is personally suited to you and your symptoms. Writing this book has been the most incredible ride...the information arises on a wave of energy and bliss. When I am hot on the kundalini trail Spiritual Presence is heightened, the muse is tangibly potent and the pieces of the puzzle formulate themselves around the "pull" of the Holy Spirit. It is very important to grasp the distinction between “damage” (pathology and disease) and the transformative process of “metamorphosis.” Certain phases of metamorphosis include cellular necrosis and catabolic breakdown, for the new cannot grow without the removal of the old. Kundalini with its amplified metabolism and nerve activity, and increased oxidation will tend to down-regulate neural and hormonal receptors and rewire the nervous system. However even if we are in the between-slump, when the hyper-functioning has backed off, but our receptors have not yet regrown, we cannot really consider kundalini as being “brain damaging.” We must see all phases of metamorphosis as necessary allostatic changes in the transformation of our organism and the human collective. Once we understand this and intelligently adapt, we can avoid burnout and regression, and thereby learn to keep the gains made through heightened kundalini. I don't recommend that anyone should pursue the raising of kundalini energy...I recommend detoxification, supernutrition, strengthening, plus self-discovered spiritual practices and adventures. I recommend following your Muse and working on giving your greatest gift for the widest distribution. If you do these things then an awakening is likely to occur. If you don't do these things then you will not be prepared for a kundalini awakening and so it probably is not going to serve you. So I don’t tell people directly how to raise their kundalini, but encrypted throughout BOK are ways that you can use to raise kundalini. However if you cannot find them, then you are not really ready for an awakening. Disclaimer: If you are not a solutions orientated, original thinker then BOK is probably not for you. If you have an infatuation with external authorities, orthodoxy, and traditions, or find that you tend to fixate on problems, then avoid this book. Also please be aware that I am not a spiritual teacher or a medical doctor and the only authority I have comes from my own experience and research. Nothing contained in this book should be construed nor is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment. You should never disregard medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in BOK. From http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=Preface.html

@DrewNows I appreciate you sharing your objective self observation. Thanks bro,,,

Time magazine article- James Franco’s sexuality has been the subject of much speculation, including by James Franco; the actor/artist/author once conducted an interview between his straight and gay selves. In a New York Magazine interview published in the April 18 issue, the actor once again elaborated on the subject, describing himself as “a little gay.” Noting that Franco has said he’s “gay in my art and straight in my life,” the interviewer asks Franco to explain whether he’s not also gay in his life, pointing out that some gay men have called him “kind of a gay c—k tease.” Franco acknowledged the assessment: There is a bit of overfocusing on my sexuality, both by the straight press and the gay press, and so the first question is why do they care? Well, because I’m a celebrity, so I guess they care who I’m having sex with. But if your definition of gay and straight is who I sleep with, then I guess you could say I’m a gay c—k tease. It’s where my allegiance lies, where my sensibilities lie, how I define myself. Yeah, I’m a little gay, and there’s a gay James. from : https://time.com/4300920/james-franco-says-hes-a-little-gay/ ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////:///////////// I got a real kick out of that article when it came out. No pun intended. ? In the blue/orange worldview of the culture I grew up in, what James Franco said would not have computed. I say would not have ( past tense) because the world has changed somewhat since then. Today, there is still huge difference between middle America juxtaposed to the East and west coasts. It feels like I live on the belt buckle of the Bible Belt. There is so much shame and shadow around sexuality that dualistic thinking will be projected and forced onto us up until the green worldview begins to take hold. I wouldn't say this is a precise or an absolute phenomena but is a general rule where fundamentalist subcultures predominate. Not just religious but also the perceptual filters found in the whole macho alpha male patriarchal worldviews. In a way, Ray Stevens humorous songs back in the day, created a little bit of space around these fearful, dualistic, contracted world views, allowing for a growth in contracted frames of reference to take place. If a man allows himself to enjoy this Neil Sadaka song, I would equate that with being psychologically gay. That's a good thing. ? This has nothing to do with sexual orientation (and it doesn't matter) but the blue/orange worldviews will often insist that it does. Does that make sense? Look at how gay I looked as a kid. Does that mean I'm without a doubt, bisexual? This is how the lower levels of the spiral constrain non-issues into dualistic notions.

For human beings to have the numbers to evolve, nature made us very oversexed. Most of us will still crave sex even if we're half sick, stressed, starved, etc.,, Testosterone fuels sex drive and on average men have 10 times as much testosterone as women. One reason we act like we do. Ken Wilber touches on this in this video clip. Fundamentalist Religions control us by and through our shadow. Making us perpetually guilt ridden for our animal natures.

This song was popular when I was a teenager. It sets the tone for a perspective I'm going to try to articulate in my next few posts, hopefully, this evening. Just saw Leo released a new video, so no promises. I may get diverted. If so, I'll pick this thread back up again tomorrow. If this song annoys you, but you're curious about where I'm heading with this, just think of it as anthropology in the form of crushed analogy framing Spiral Dynamics.

The Martin Butler podcast that I posted earlier was a little harsh. This Ted Nottingham video provides a good counter balance.

Thanks, @Amandine for sharing. I miss the song you posted last night although I don't speak Spanish. Can you repost it? Share music with us whenever you feel. ?

I've never listened to that whole album. That song reminded me a little bit of this McCartney song.

Horses I've known,,,,, continues @ Marc Schinkel, reading about your runaway experience reminded me of Cisco, the black and white paint horse. Cisco had his tricks,,, such as puffing up and holding his breath when cinching down the saddle. This resulted in a loose saddle. One day I was at the far end of the big hay meadow when an old leather piece of the reins broke, down at the bit. It took Cisco about 3 seconds to realize I had no leverage over him and for him to hit top speed back towards the barn. On top of this helplessness, the saddle began to roll off to one side. He was running at full speed as I rolled with it. Luckily I just ate a little dirt and grass and somehow avoided his hooves.

Great self observation.! Cynthia Bourgeault gives the teaching of sensing the feet as a quick grounding exercise which also works well with establishing continuity of consciousness. https://www.endlesssearch.co.uk/exercises_sensing.htm This link elaborates on the idea,,,,

@Gneh Onebar Thanks for sharing! He is completely new to me. I've watched the last video you posted and will watch it again. Very interesting. Now started back at the top. Im going to watch all his video's. Will probably order his book. ??

Here is an idea to try on. A conscious activity in the present moment can alter the past.

Work on superego I think I remember lead Guitaist for Black Sabbath, Tony Lommi, say he thought that a good deal of Black Sabbath's popularity came as a reaction and tiredness to years of all the unrealistic Love and light hippies. To me, Black Sabbath music represents our raw "red" energy. It's this energy we reclaim and build to overcome superego. Silence is golden as the saying goes. But sometimes loud Black Sabbath music in the morning is good for counteracting attacks of the superego. The radical changes in rhythm and Tony's 'sing - song' guitar expressions in Under the Sun always give me the giggles.

My second Fourth Way teacher taught similarly to this recording. The idea that we have 2 higher centers - higher feeling and higher Intellectual that are completely formed but that we have to make contact with these 2 higher centers. Dwight, my teacher for a short while, was a gifted painter, refused to eat meat and his teaching leaned more to the flavor of 4th Way as esoteric Christianity.