Zigzag Idiot

? ?? Light of the world Shine on me

Lost in obsession and fantasy over Christy McNichol in my prepuberty life. How could I have forgotten about this? I was completely obsessed with Christy McNichol as I entered puberty. She was about 4 years older than me. Still is,, So strange how intensely I ached for her, I wanted to leap over trees. I wanted to rip my teeth out,,,, To me, she was the most beautiful person on earth and also the focus of many imaginary situations and daydreams.

3rd try,,,

Let's try this again for links that work,,,, The lyric versions of Billy Joel's songs wouldn't play because of copywriting issues,,, How was I able to play and then post them in the first place? ?‍♂️

I feel like a fresh scrubbed baby. A baby just set out of the tub onto dry blankets and it's just sitting up and taking a look around. This was the mixture done twice in a 4 day period. Natural Mystical Ayahuasca Analog Capsules with 5MeODMT #1 Capsule 200mg Harmala/Harmaline (MAO-I) #2 Capsule 100mg Cumala Extract from Virola Theiodora with 8% 5MeODMT (8mg 5MeoDMT) + BetaCarbolines #3 Capsule 100mg DMT Fumarate I had psychonaut partner with me on the second trip. The first trip was just a trial run I guess. My fellow voyager did a lot of puking while reassuring me, ,,,"yeah I'm ok." This is a person not put off by a little bit of vomiting but I lost count of the times they threw up. I fed them a fresh cooked hamburger patty at the end of the day. They seemed ok but somewhat subdued. They're still recovering. I'm optimistic about their Psychological feedback after they process for another day or so. I felt some nausea both trips. If I had been unable to burp a lot and fart a little, I probably would have thrown up some too. But I didn't,,,. After crossing the rough waters everything was wonderful. If only I had had an audio recording going. (Just joking) Especially when I closed my eyes. Some rarefied downloading and testifying took place,,,,,, for sure. Everthing all better now. ?

Caution for those who are sensitive to witnessing violence I feel depressed in the idea of being born in times where there were no cheetos or air conditioning,,,, I need to watch The Last Samurai. I've never seen it.

@Marc Schinkel That Elvis song and a few others are exemptions to to rule, ? Here's a song I really liked as a teen but the video now seems kinda cheesy. How could any feeling type Contemplative person not love this old John Denver song about becoming a twice-born.

I've observred periods in life where the new moon brought out crazy phenomena at times as opposed to the full moon. That quote - " The one eyed man is king in the land of the blind" is a quote from The Minority report.

Through inner separation and self observation, as Ocke de Boer articulates- This is a process of -it- in a state of becoming I. This only can happen if we observe ourselves in states of identification. Our mechanicalness and identifications makes us unguided projectiles. In spitual seepThe Automaton with the ego is just an unguided golum

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. In regards to negative emotion, sometimes I eat the bear but then sometimes the bear eats me. Muarice Nicoll - INNER SEPERATION AND SELF-OBSERVATION “In all self-observation, if it is to become full self-observation, you must observe IT. That is, you must see all your reactions to life and circumstances as IT in you and not as ‘I.’ . . . The instrument of self- observation is like a knife that cuts us away from what is not us. If you begin to see what it means to say: ‘This is not I,’ then you begin to use this instrument. When you can really say: ‘What is IT doing?’ instead of ‘What am I doing?’ you begin to understand the Work.” V. 1, p. 216-7 UNCRITICAL SELF-OBSERVATION “Remember that it is said that self-observation must be uncritical. You do not observe yourself in order to criticize yourself. If you do so it will at once stop self-observation and lead to internal considering. . . . In self-observation we do not try to analyze—i.e. find the causes and origins of different ‘I’s in us—but seek only to become conscious of them.” V. 2, p. 560, 571 UNCRITICAL II “The Observing ‘I’ in the sense of the Work does not take sides with anything. It merely records what you are doing, what you are saying, at different moments, through the action of different ‘I’s, and does not say that this is better or this is worse. Observing ‘I’ is not shocked by anything. It is not a kind of Grandmamma or Grandpapa in you, but is quite pure and simple...It will have its own uncritical, gentle memory of all the different sides of you... We have to acknowledge and accept all sides of ourselves, because only through the acknowl- edgement, the acceptance, the consciousness of all sides of ourselves can we advance at all.” V. 2, p. 722, 724 THE VALUE OF SELF-OBSERVATION III “Self-Observation clears a space in your mind so that you can see things coming in and going out. If the energy which was about to go into a negative emotion is prevented from doing so, it may pass on and may create a moment of Self-Remembering. All this means that you have brought the Work up to the point of incoming impressions.” V. 1, p. 199

Reflecting on Ken Wilber's Kosmic Consciousness audio set this morning brought to mind the movie The Minority Report. Mostly because he referred to this movie in the interview which aroused my curiosity to see it. Which I did and thoroughly enjoyed it.

@fridjonk Actually,,, barely any. I've flipped through his Integral Psychology some and studied a lot of the graphs in it. I bought his Kosmic Consciousness audio set about a year after it came out sometime around 2004, though. I listened to these cd's obsessively for 3-4 years, to the point where I would often quote verbatim out loud both of what Ken and Tami said as they talked. Tremendous amount of information here. 10 cd's each over an hour, if I remember right. I've read a fair amount of Jana Dixon referring to things Wilber has said. Also, I've read just about everything A. H. Almaas has written whom Wilber seems to have a lot of respect towards, which is kinda related. There is also a later related condensed audio interview set of Wilber (4-5 cd's) which I listened to quite a bit but his Kosmic Consciousness set has been my main Wilber resource.

Two Treasures Also, everything @Rebecca Kalamata articulates. ? Haven't listened to the video yet but I read and reread his (Neal's Donald Walsch's) first 6-8 books as they came out years ago.

@fridjonk Thanks for sharing. Good summary you give. Excellent resource. Mucho bueno. ? @bonesurfer This reminded me of the question you brought up. I see the Wilber Combs matrix as a map of the ladder up the Spiral. His description here also reminded me of the phrase/idea of 'Self similarly over scales'. Feel free to engage on my Journal or private message if so moved. I'm often slow to respond if I deeply ponder an issue. By your wording, I intuit a part of your emotional intelligence. Personally, I have found the practice of - not outwardly expressing negative emotions- to be a challenging but also a rewarding practice. This doesn't mean I repress. I allow myself to feel fully whatever it may be but in not outwardly expressing negative emotions, some inner space begins to develop which turns into Witness Consciousness. My informal gut paraphrasing here,,,,

To avoid editing, I lately add the following for sincere interested seekers. Midway down the page are related links. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/alphabetical?alphabet=5 Also Google - maximum attraction Enneatypes - for independent research.

Singer/musician Pink and I are about the same mixture of essence types, heavily influenced by the adrenal glands and represented by Mars. I have more Solar quality than she does. Solars are archetypal airheads. Dark eyed, dark headed Venusians like Ally Sheedy are closer to my maximum attraction as it's referred to in this typology. I was 17 in 1985 when The Breakfast Club movie came out. I had a complete lovesick crush on Ally Sheedy back then. It was an active year for me. In addition to ordinary things like car wrecks and water skiing, I passed the written examination for my private pilots license. Solo-ed a Cessna 150 and completed a couple of short cross country solo's. Got out of high school an hour early as part of a school work program to go work at the Sawmill. Fed cattle, hauled hay and had numerous ranch chores. Had two of the best sex partners of my life. (Not at the same time) One was a blonde mars/jovial essence type girl with big boobs and the other was a true maximum attraction Venusian type. I didn't have a clue about reality,,, There is a long list of activities for that year while staying either continually drunk or on methamphetamines, sometimes intravenously. Less than two years later, I didn't know whether to shit or wind my watch,,, as the saying goes.

I ran across an old VHS tape of Terence that I watched many times back in the 1990's. In the last year I've developed more appreciation of him juxtaposed to the nineties. I think it's possible that the truth in this particular theory might be realized more in hindsight in the future. Maybe, maybe not. This video is 24 minutes. The two below it are under 5 minutes in length and to the point. My life has been an ever changing series of enthusiasms. The older I get the more I catch myself retelling a story already told. I recommend not taking psychedelics as a given. I discovered the hard way you can't take the experience as something taken for granted. Developing the capacity for staying present in a stressful situation is imperative, IME.

I'm definitely a Beatles person in this general typology. Listening to Elvis usually made me have something similar to the feeling of what Terence McKenna called Fardow. Fardow was a word he made up as a kid. Paraphrasing from my faulty memory. It's the sensation one gets when witnessing someone else fucking up.

I pretty much tuned out most country music years ago. I think I understand why some men are compulsively drawn to cross dressing and sissy role play. I feel that I've always been naturally yin/yang integrated for the most part and don't feel drawn to this particular fetish. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-gender_acting

No worries. I've always done that at times,,,,

I was swallowed whole by all of Castaneda's books in the 1990's. I'm vaguely aware of Eliade writings but completely unfamiliar with Holger Kalweit. Thanks for sharing. Unfortunately I never have had a Facebook account,,,,,

I didn't want to overload the music thread. But my binge watching of Pink videos continues. Pink is a good example of psychological integration and individuation. She's a great dancer and fun to watch. She also has the capacity for role playing.

G I'm rediscovering a lot of Pink's music. She's a creative genius.

Thanks, @DrewNows I enjoyed these. Both of which were new to me. I like watching people who are good dancers. I've always felt the heart of Lynard Skynard died in that plane crash in 1977. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1977_Mississippi_CV-240_crash