Zigzag Idiot

@fridjonk It feels great to connect with kindred spirits. ? I LOVE those pictures! Thank you! ??‍♂️

There's what I take as a jovial quality to a lot of Black Sabbath songs. The way they completely change tempo mid song sometimes gives me the giggles. They have such a rawness about them. Raw Red energy. Elan vital Pink Floyd's -The Wall is an album that I find is mostly dark. I don't enjoy it like I do Dark Side of the Moon.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sabbath I never payed attention to the lyrics of this song until about an hour ago. Interesting,,,, This isn't the first transcendental Ozzy song I've stumbled over. He's a paradoxical character as well as guitarist Tony Iommi.

I remember pissing and moaning to my father several times over the fast pace of life we maintained. What the hell man? 2 or 3 small businesses besides the ranch. We were always going ninety to nothing through all four seasons. The constant concern I felt about my fathers bank debt growing up and working my ass off added to felt need for dissociation I sought through alcohol and drugs. I didn't really take up reading books until I was in my early twenties as at least a fairly beneficial form of dissociation. Doing my time in the nervous hospital right out of high school,,,,, I stayed poor most of my life. Not many options other than farm laborer, jack of all trades, go and do whatever was being pointed at. Putting out whatever was the hottest fire, so to speak. Go go go go go go go Goddamnit! Borrowed $10,000 from the bank for three years and bought a neighbors trailer house. Paid it off in two. I've always hated debt and borrowed money. We moved it down the highway one Sunday morning with 'the big tractor'. Go go go go go go go go go go. One time in the mid 90's in the horse-barn my father turned to me and said "When I die, I want to be in full stride and I hope my nose plows up the ground. I'm not going to slow down." In my mind I'm sure it was something like -fuckgodamnitfuckyfuckgodamnit. The Rolling Stones song 19th nervous breakdown held a special significance for me. I can't say I wasn't brought up right, though. In hindsight I can see I was definately brought up right. I just didn't appreciate it. I had no idea. I did,, but I didn't,,,

Life is too short to waste it on boring sex Negativity kills sex energy faster than anything. Quickie sex is energy depleting, just like engaging in shameful masturbation. You can do anything you want as long as you're present while you do it. Just say no to boring sex if you would rather masturbate. Be honest and present whatever you do.

If you have a song stuck in your head, hear's one to replace it. ?

Regardless of how her life ended, there's no denying Whitney Houston was gift to the world.

A H Almaas's book specifically on Inquiry. SPACECRUSIER INQUIRY. In this book he invites the reader to discover for themselves "the optimizing thrust of Being". On my 3rd or 4th rereading it finally sunk in and registered when he referred to what he calls the Diamond Guidance as another name for the Holy Spirit. My copy is slightly used. The Angel of Revelation In other traditions, the Diamond Guidance is sometimes called the angel of revelation, the holy spirit that brings the word or message from the source. It is the angel that guides us to Beingness that is our ground, our nature, our source. It is the true friend, the total friend, because the Guidance’s only concern is for you as a soul to go back to your source, to be who and what you can be, with total acceptance, total support, total guidance, total kindness. The soul needs to place herself in the right attitude for this kind of blessing to come. You have to do the work of correctly orienting yourself. Basically this means harmonizing your consciousness with the mode of presence and operation of the Guidance. This is what we are exploring when we discuss inquiry – the right orientation, the right posture, the ways of being and functioning that will invite the Guidance. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 223 His book The Void- is a thin, intense, little book. The more messed up a person is, such as as in arrested development. The better the chances are for waking up. One of those counterintuitive things. It hinges on one's capacity for sitting with uncomfortable issues. Deficient states can then transform into spacious felt qualities of essence or beingness. Deficient Emptiness Depends on the Vulnerability of the Personality Structure The sense of deficient emptiness depends on how vulnerable or incomplete the personality structure is. For normal and neurotic structures -- where there is a stable sense of identity -- the deficiency is very much unconscious and successfully defended against. For those with severe mental disorders, the weaknesses or rips in their structures expose them more readily to this deficient emptiness and the anxieties and pains accompanying it or in reaction to it. The Void, pg. 128 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/diamond-guidance https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/deficient-emptiness

Being on the radar of people who think they know me, along with their projections from out of the first tier gossipy circuits,,, Its why I totally enjoy going to Walmart at 1:00am. ??‍♂️

?‍♂️Stupidity is its own punishment. = A crushed analogy generalizing about the concept of sin. I've repeatedly experienced this subjective realization. What kind of shit have I gotten myself into? May be a good question to ponder concerning the hijacking of essence by false personality. The required journey of developing an ego and then transcending it. In going to order Diamonds from Heaven I discovered a comprehensive two volume set from Stan Grof just released back in August. In peddling my soul to Amazon Prime, I'll have them all by Wednesday.

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You are a luminous egg Both Castaneda and Ocke de Boer write about us as luminous eggs. This is a Seers description of our lower astral bodies, perhaps. I just added the adjective - 'lower', you should know. It seems this way but it may not be. I don't experience all of this. Just a part of it. The experience of having a clean atmosphere in the luminous egg is being completely present and having all of my attention collected. As Jesus puts it in ACIM, you then "have your being". Interacting with the cultural ego results sometimes in my egg getting holes in it. My attention gets dispersed when there holes in my energy egg and my atmosphere is polluted. If I fall completely out of Witness Consciousness, the egg stays in disrepair until I remember myself. It could be 2 days, 2 months or 2 years. That's the danger of 'sleep'. Luminous implies light from within. This came to me just now in a google search. I've observed the degree of my being, the being I have, fluctuates. This was a teaching from Contemporary Christian Contemplative Phd. Rev. Cynthia Bourgeault which she called The yo yo of Being. This was 2 or 3 years ago. Witnessing awareness affects this emotional/psychological yo yo of Being energy. Don't take my word for it. See if you can observe this phenomena in your inner world.

The power of sitting with it. C. Bourgeault says at 30:33 - "If all you can do is wave to yourself as you 'go over the waterfall', you've at least done something,,," About whenever we become hooked by emotional reactivity. The power of Witness Consciousness can eat/dissolve self importance, inflation, 'peacock feathers', as well as acedia, anger, self pity, confusion,,, etc.,, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acedia A little bit of Castaneda- Self-importance is another thing that must be dropped, just like personal history. The world around us is very mysterious. It doesn't yield its secrets easily. Now we are concerned with losing self-importance. As long as you feel that you are the most important thing in the world you cannot really appreciate the world around you. You are like a horse with blinders, all you see is yourself apart from everything else. Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it--what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. Every effort should be made to eradicate self-importance from the lives of warriors. Without self-importance we are invulnerable. The idea of death is the only thing that can give sorcerers courage. Strange, isn't it? It gives sorcerers the courage to be cunning without being conceited, and above all it gives them courage to be ruthless without being self-important. Sorcerers stalk themselves in order to break the power of their obsessions. There are many ways of stalking oneself. If you don't want to use the idea of your death, you can use poems to stalk yourself.

A case of less is more,,,

Carol Anthony also uses the term collective ego in The Oracle of the Cosmic Way. Transpersonal psychologist Charles Tart coined the phrase "cultural consensus trance" to describe spiritual sleep. My experience is that this condition isn't overcome all at once. It's a drawn out process of 'waking up' and then falling back into reactivity and spiritual sleep. This is a part of the yo yo in degree of Being Collective Ego Quotes Quotes tagged as "collective-ego" Showing 1-1 of 1 “The only abyss that exists is the demonic sphere of consciousness created by the erroneous ideas and beliefs of the collective ego.” ― Carol Anthony Looking back over our lives, it seems to me that this question — although only rarely brought to the forefront of our consciousness — determines most decisions and choices we make after entering our early twenties: By that time we will have adopted a major self-image that is supposed to be the answer to our life’s purpose: it may be the self-image of “the avid learner,” “the dedicated wife” or “the good husband,” “the researcher,” “the explorer,” "the doctor," etc.. The fact that we generally attempt to define our life's purpose in terms of a positive self-image gives us reason to question whether such an attempt has any Cosmic validity; or, whether it is one of those illusory goals that come from the collective ego that trap us in an endless pursuit to find a place in society. When we realize that the attainment of every much-admired self-image requires enormous energy in striving to perfect it, often leading us to the point of exhaustion and to alienation from Cosmic protection and help, we don't need to look further for the answer as to where the idea of “seeking for the purpose of our lives” originates. It is a mistaken idea that causes us to doubt our true place in the Cosmos. How then does the Sage define that true place that each of us has in the Cosmos? The Sage has explained to us that the overarching Cosmic purpose is to increase the Cosmic Consciousness and its expression in form. “Its expression in form” refers to its expression in the multitudinous forms of Nature and in a Culture that is created in accord with the Cosmic Principles of Harmony. Every human being is born with a unique combination of gifts and talents. Our contribution to the overarching Cosmic purpose consists in bringing that unique combination of gifts and talents to expression. This is the definition of true creativity. There is a danger in viewing creativity as something that needs to fit either into the frames of “usefulness” or “good for nothing,” when those ideas of what is useful are mainly defined by the collective ego. Only by giving our gifts and talents free play — without censorship — can true creativity unfold.

@Andrewww Perhaps a different perspective might help. Stopping doing implies being. Letting go of mind and thoughts and concepts.. Not being hooked by emotions or uncontrolled imagination is a long process. This is just one path of many possible paths.

Unrequited love https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unrequited_love I remember reading about how experiencing intense unrequited love will often result in a quicker than normal, growth of Being. At the moment, I can't remember the book or the Author, though. Cannabis use and its effect on the dream world I came out of the closet as a frequent cannabis user a couple of months ago in case you missed it. Everytime i completely quit cannabis, some of the results became predictable. Irritability for the first few days and then a richness in dream life reappears. After having my system cleaned out and I return to cannabis use, paranoia then comes on strong in the beginning, in short episodes. The higher my tolerance becomes, though, the less I experience paranoia and eventually the more functional is my interactions with the world. I like the explanations McKenna makes about how cannabis use affects the dream life. Meditation Twenty minutes twice a day is sufficient for affecting one's neuronal networks. I call my practice of Centering Prayer - "Doing a sit" Doing a sit involves letting go of thoughts. Using a timer helps the process. Touching base with objectless awareness is good medicine. For anyone wanting clear instructions on the process and the how and why of doing Centering Prayer, this particular YouTube is very good.

Love the piano in this melodramatic song,,,, There are a handful of Madonna's songs that I really enjoy.

@act2000 Thank you for sharing. I was unaware of this book- Ennea-type Structures: Self-Analysis for the Seeker”. I want to read this. I agree with your assessment of where Riso's work fits. I first learned the Enneagram through Helen Palmer's work. Like Riso, she kept it at a surface/personality level. On the other hand, though, I've heard it argued that this has allowed for more people to become acquainted somewhat with the Enneagram that otherwise wouldn't have. I have a counterphobic type six personality. Based on fear/doubt/cowardice - the Devil's advocate,,, I've read Character and Neurosis in the distant past. He wrote about 'the fanatic' that is a subset of counterphobic sixes. Made me squirm in my chair. One reason I value A H Almaas is because he was a long time student of Naranjo. His book on the Enneagram, is Facets of Unity. I'm checking out the website you referred to. https://theenneagraminbusiness.com/subtypes/enneagram-theory-the-cutting-edge-of-our-subtype-knowledge-according-to-claudio-naranjo/ Thanks, ?

I found the character Don Juan to expand over time. Especially when his peer, Don Genero is brought in to the mix. ?

Dealing with bullies I heard a friend of mine once respond - "I'm not a chickenshit, I've just got henhouse ways." He dealt with bullies with humor. I'm not a big guy. 5'8" 140 lbs. My mentor growing up was 10 years older. He is about the same kind of build as me, though. In response to a challenge from a mean drunk in a bar one time, he was reported to have said, after a long pause -,,,,, "Now don't whip my ass, unless you feel like you just absolutely have to do it." I wasn't present at the event, but I've always gotten tickled when I remember the story. An unrelated funny I thought of earlier today was Winston Churchill's description of human history - "It's just one damn thing after another,,,"

I didnt get to finish it. I didn't know who she was. This shows how out of touch i am with some elements of pop culture,,,,,, ? Right now I'm listening to some of her music. Yes. Thank You! I discovered the Astrology site linked in High Consciousness Resources right after I asked you to share this morning. Im somewhat familiar with my numerology but still trying to wrap my mind around Astrology.

Love Stevie Wonder,,,,