Zigzag Idiot

That's the worst song I've posted, probably. The one just above.

I was thinking that in the last week, we've gone through a major stress point of some kind astrologically. I enjoyed Emerald's latest today. Enjoyed this older one on self deception also. So true. Great stuff! It's still an ongoing issue with me. Watched this one while I was at it. ??‍??‍♂️ I still try to read everyone's journal. I usually have my I phone playing everyone's songs and videos that they've posted while I read text with my I Pad. Got good quality sound through a Visio sound bar. Tried some toad venom today for the first time.

I wasn't aware of this thread until just a moment ago. Seeing @Amandine 's post of Lynn Anderson's song brought to mind a couple of other country songs from the past.

The overall process for me in regards to Actualization has been one of waking up and then learning to stay awake. Continuity of Consciousness. It's one thing that's so valuable in the practice of not expressing negative emotions,,,,, In catching myself 'asleep' or reactive. Complaining is sleep as well as being self congratulatory. One of my defense mechanisms at times has been grandiosity. Putting on a big front,,, out of fear. Counterphobic grandiosity. Its ongoing. Work in progress,,,, Some biographies I've enjoyed and some are just biographical stories,,

@seeking_brilliance I appreciate the amount of detail you brought back. At one point in reading it, I thought " yeah, this is about right for someone who's worked at Disney world. ? Pretty deep stuff though,,, like with the pineal gland,,, I tried a dream mask a few years ago that detected r.e.m. states. It was bulky and uncomfortable and so I really didn't give it a fair chance despite paying out some decent cash for it. I haven't looked but I bet there are a lot better models nowadays.

? I'm happy for you. Good luck with more lucid dreaming.

Some of Terrences words have become quite prophetic.

I haven't found it yet. Is Mercy not the highest law? C-2.9. Your questions have no answer, being made to still God's Voice, which asks of everyone one question only: "Are you ready yet to help Me save the world?" 2 Ask this instead of what the ego is, and you will see a sudden brightness cover up the world the ego made. 3 No miracle is now withheld from anyone. 4 The world is saved from what you thought it was. 5 And what it is, is wholly uncondemned and wholly pure. C-2.10. The miracle forgives; the ego damns. 2 Neither need be defined except by this. 3 Yet could a definition be more sure, or more in line with what salvation is? 4 Problem and answer lie together here, and having met at last the choice is clear. 5 Who chooses hell when it is recognized? 6 And who would not go on a little while when it is given him to understand the way is short and Heaven is his goal? from: https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/course-miracles-clarification-terms-ego-miracle/

In ACIM, it says somewhere that any attitude other than either peace or joy is egoic. Im going to try to find this place and see how wrong I just paraphrased it.

I should have added that The Psychological shadow is what is gone after first in Scientology Auditing. Everything in an auditing session is written down. Somewhere there is a file in Scientology that contains the shadow material of 'you know who and ole what's her name'. So that's what a prospective Scientologist is facing,,,, if there are any out there who are reading this or if you know anyone,,, Naturally they get big results in processing out shadow material.

Dianetics and Scientology produces results in people processing out their endogen engrams. The e- meter is basicly a lie detector. Engram An Engram is the hypothesized physical memory trace, either biophysical or biochemical, that that is produced when information is stored in the brain. Although the actual existence of memory "engrams" is still unproven, some theories exist using the engram hypothesis that seem to explain how memories are stored in the brain and persist. The exact means, mechanism and location of this type of memory storage continues to be a subject of study and controversy. When I was in Scientology i wasn't allowed to be audited because I had taken lsd a couple of times as a teenager. I got felt results though just using the book Self Analysis everytime I did it a few days in a row. Its really simple. You just rotate this wheel across the statements given a situation given in the book. In the recall or picturing of the situation, you focus on whatever the wheel indicates. This book had a place in my escape from a severe depression in my early twenties. They're Was at one time, a lot of people, mostly in California, who left Scientology and formed unofficial/heretic groups out away from the Cult. They would get together with their old emeters which cost over $1000 if I remember right and audit one another.

I can't remember which talk it was but in one of his talks, Almaas, who was several minutes into it said. - "Now I would like to invite you all to leave yourselves alone." That statement shifted my awareness to where I was able to suddenly let go all of my internal dialogue and taste a deeper, new level of inner quiet and peace. It didn't last. Very rare is the individual who does this in one fell swoop. Actually, I can think of no one. In some way, we each get a crucifixtion of emotions in being pulled back and forth over the threshold of Heaven and Hell. Thinking then being and then back into neurotic thinking and then waking up into being, again. On and on,,,

Face palm ? I overlooked your mention here of Grof's - The Way of the Psychonaut. Got the 2 volume set in the mail last week. Looks really rich,,,

Objectives PsychonautWiki is a community-driven online encyclopedia that aims to document the emerging field of psychonautics in a comprehensive, scientifically-grounded manner. Our primary motivations include: documenting all aspects of psychonautics (including practices such as meditation, lucid dreaming, psychoactive substance use, sensory deprivation, ritual, etc.) from an evidence-based, scientific perspective. providing accessible education, encouraging safe practices, and reforming cultural taboos around the responsible use of psychoactive substances drawing from both expert and crowd-sourced information. promoting a culture of individual freedom and responsibility by providing open access to the knowledge needed to make informed choices regarding one's body and mind. https://m.psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Main_Page

Ted Nottingham just released a good introduction/summary about Gurdjieff. Sex sells. It's so flagrantly used in mass advertising. Maurice Nicoll in the Psychological Commentaries states that not sex but negativity is what actually'makes the world go around' in cultural sleep. Both perspectives are articulated in Gurdjieffs writings. People draw energy from the negativity that's so easily found in news and politics. He also says we have a right not to be negative. Excerpts from the Psychological Commentaries on the Teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky- ‘YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’ “Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self- remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161 GIVING UP SUFFERING “A man, a woman, cannot awaken if they retain this dreadful weight, their mechanical suffering, and nourish it, by a continual process of justifying it.” V. 4, p. 1240 GIVING UP SUFFERING II “A man, a woman, must give up their suffering and sacrifice that first of all, because this can lead to a change of Being. For this to happen one must be able to see through self-observation what one suffers from...There is the suffering of man towards woman, of woman towards man...Then take all the mechanical forms of suffer- ing that arise from feeling that you have never been understood by your parents, your husband, your wife, or your children...It is exactly this suffering derived from life and all its awkwardness that has to be sacrificed.” V. 3, pp. 850, 852 GIVING UP SUFFERING III “To serve the Work means to obey what it teaches you to practice on yourself. You want to be gloomy and moody, to object, and so on, and you observe your state and begin to separate from it—then you are serving the Work. And in so doing you are giving up some of your mechanical suffering.” V. 3, p. 855

This old tune popped into my mind I did a search and found. First time I've saw what they looked like from back in the day,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,, "I can't complain but sometimes I still do". Life's been good to me so far,,,,,,,,,, I've always liked this song. Joe brags but Joe also expresses gratitude. His humor is sometimes a healthy self deprecating. Joe is very mars/adrenal essence. Mars energy is just destructive by nature. Destructive does not imply negative though. Thank you for making this song, Joe.

❤️ the hyperlinks

It's been an interesting day. Ive been reminded how reaching conclusions (judgement) about others can make one miserable. Sometimes it's difficult to remember to just,,, let go...