Zigzag Idiot

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. Pity is as worthless as arrogance. Try not to pity others. It is not Love. Castaneda called pity "sham compassion". The place of no pity is a condition. It is a state of consciousness that may have the appearance from the outside as teflon Love. It has a relentless Honey badger quality about it. I can't have the experience of it if my inner world is polluted by concerns of what I think about what other people are thinking. If I'm concerned about what other people are thinking, I'm not free inside. The atmosphere of my energy egg is polluted when my inner world is hooked to the outer world. Having a clean atmosphere and having the ability for stopping the world in order clean one's atmosphere is a trait of a universal heretic. It's a supreme condition that doesn't happen by itself. One has to make efforts and huff and puff in order to cultivate it. ?

Arrested development I'm one of those kidults, I'm afraid. You have to have a functioning healthy ego for there to be something to transcend as I've heard it put in Ken WilbEr lectures. That's where excessive intoxicant use in adolescence tripped me up. I never developed a healthy functioning ego but eventually developed individuality ( Real "I") anyhow, later in life. I skipped being human #4 (balanced human) and became human #5 Individually. Because I skipped a step, I'm at a place where I can't go on unless I fix this somehow. This is how I paraphrase what the Work has taught me. To help fill out the map, Jesus was human #7. The path I've taken has left me at a place where the ladder of reason is missing a rung. The ladder of reason is also the ladder of being. Everything is made of energy. We each are made up into a mixture that is a vibration number. You're real name tag is your vibration number. Everyone has their own vibration number. Everything too. All forms of matter are specific vibrations of energy. Love created a game for rediscovering itself. Us batch of humans are seeds sown from prior historical epochs. Religions were injected to make some of us hate ourselves just enough in a certain way for some reason. This is an idea given to me among others by the Gurdjieff Work. Chances are It could possibly be a wrongly interpreted horseshit idea as well. If I can't figure out the problem of the missing rung. I'm stuck at a place with a bunch of hasnamusses. People arrive at the condition of being a hasnamus for different reasons. One of the reasons is from taking the left hand path. We're born innocent but also stupid, helpless and eventually crazy. We have to help ourselves as best that we can. A part of my own strategy is to laugh and be as lighthearted as often as authenticity will allow. To receive the gifts of our ancestors in order to hopefully pass them on is one game that's played. Stating things bluntly are what gnostics do. While we're all here it seems the least we could do is watch each other's back. That's a part of being a placeholder. Placeholders are people who try to remember and who try and remember at least a little. That arithmetic even exists is proof to me that we exist inside of a holon that floats in Love. Love is energy. Energy is everything. Everything is vibrating. I should quit writing for now and get some rest. My Automaton feels like it has a little bit of a fever. There is a small infection on the back of my leg that needs tending to. Good night.

Too bad the sound quality is poor. A few therapeutic, comforting words given and some very profound ideas related. Some seemingly prophetic. Bits of wisdom, none the less.

Growing up I heard to slice open and smell a fresh lemon if possible to countereffect the shortage of daylight in winter and the depression that goes with it for a lot of people. Below are abbreviated trip notes from my last trip. God is found in the strange attractor Aggravated chicken pecker syndrome has jumped over into humans

Excellent way to put it! Very much in line with how it might be phrased in ACIM

I'm glad spring is here. The mild temperatures have inspired me to get more outdoor projects going. Yesterday, God had me to add 1/2 glass of drinking water into the keyboard of my laptop. In just a few minutes, it all quit working. It was unresponsive and didn't want to work today either. So now I have one less working computer and I guess that's that. Being that I'm kind of a hermit anyway, my life is hardly any different than it was before the Corona virus hit. Hameed Almaas has 17 excerpts about ego in his online glossary. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/ego The following is one of the 17 which I found helpful. Confusion About the Term "Ego" Here we digress to point out a source of confusion about the term “ego.” Readers who know both the spiritual and psychological literatures will find the term freely used in both, but with no general agreement on what the term refers to. This ambiguity often leads to confusion. The literature on spiritual development, on essential or inner development, on all matters of religious concern, generally uses the term “ego” to mean something which is seen as the barrier to spiritual realization. The literature on depth psychology, however, uses the term with a very different meaning. The ego referred to by Freud, and which ego psychology studies, is not the ego which is the barrier to spiritual development. They are two different concepts. The psychoanalytic term “ego” refers, rather, to the functional self, which is the site, organizer, and coordinator of the functions of perception, memory, mobility, and so on. There is, however, a concept in depth psychology and ego psychology that coincides with the ego of spiritual literature: it is called the “ego-identity,” and is sometimes referred to as the sense of self, or the sense of identity. This sense of self or separate identity is the main concern of ego developmental theory. This identity is, in fact, the acme, the most important outcome of ego development. It is ultimately the organizing center of the psychic apparatus. This psychic apparatus includes as one of its units the Freudian ego. In other words, the Freudian ego is part of the mind, is a structure or a structured process in it, while the self is a sense of identity and a center of action. The exact sense in which the ego identity is a barrier to spiritual development will become clear in later chapters. In addition to just the term ego, the Glossary has about 16 other entries concerning ego. Such as ego structures, ego boundries, ego death, ego development etc.,,, https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/alphabetical?alphabet=5 Echart Tolle's homespun word -pain-body- is a handy word, at times, for discussion about ego. Especially when discussing the opposite end of the pole from that which is counter to ego inflation. Not certain but I'm pretty sure Echart Tolle coined that term.

Up and down in a back and forth world In my roller coaster life of ups and downs, gathering healthier forms of coping mechanisms became a strategy. Like Psychological alarm clocks, some coping mechanisms lose their effectiveness. Back In the 90's during severe bouts of anxiety and depression, watching the three stooges worked sometimes for me. Moreso for anxiety. Sometimes Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. Later on in the 2000's after having read Castaneda, I might resort to making fun of myself in front of the mirror. Perhaps start with making my sad face look even more sad,,,, Just a sad long face,, so sad,,,,, Intuition tells me everyone has to find their own strategies for getting out of the desert or breaking an obsessive worry cycle. Eventually one strategy I used for my ego to return to happiness was to starve myself from food. I've always had a terrible diet loaded with carbohydrates and sugars but somehow finally managed one day to discover the effectiveness and benefits of fasting. To fast with only water for two or three days can do wonders for the emotional center. It feels good and even energizing to go from being chronically bloated from intestinal inflammation, to having that feeling of a tight core. Having an empty gut and tightening up the core of the body usually helps my posture too. The cost and result of me being a cyclical or a Round Idiot, is that I always returned to bad eating habits. Eating a lot of sugar makes me more prone to be reactive and expressing negativity. Truth be known, I'm not completely free of all that either. Sometimes, I can still act either knowingly or unknowingly, like a real dick.

Back and Forth Enlightenment in an up and down world Enlightenment rarely happens all at once. Witness Consciousness is elemental to enlightenment. No one goes into the second tier without knowing the experience of what Echart Tolle calls the experience of being the Observer. Fully enlightened people are incapable of violence. Through Self remembering one can have the odd experience of becoming enlightened 5 times in a day. I wouldn't say that's true for everyone. For the vast majority of people though, the idea of becoming enlightened 5 times in a week is how reality will be, at some point, if they climb past the threshold of the first and second tier. Getting a good taste of what in the Fourth Way is called Self Remembering, will include seeing how the state of Witness Consciousness also comes and goes. This will be how the unfoldment up the path goes for most people, I propose. I may bring out the Science of Idiotism again with a couple of reference points. Zigzag Idiot is the last Idiot before Enlightened Idiot as illustrated by Bruno Martin. As Witness Consciousness is elemental to Enlightened Idiot and beyond some contend that premeditated violence is also actually an impossibility. Pondering earlier this evening, my imaginative conjecture was that people on the Green level of the Spiral transcend premeditated violence and by the time a person is solidly at the Turqoise level, they are incapable of violence and even crimes of passion such as murder. As the state/condition of Witness Consciousness comes and goes so does deeper and deeper levels of Self Remembering in my experience. I put the shift from green to yellow on the Spiral or the shift from first tier to second tier as also the shift equivalent to the movement of Zigzag Idiot to Enlightened Idiot. There are a few charts of the Science of Idiotism and the ladder of reason found earlier in this journal in case anyone is interested. Experiencing Self Remembering shows me that spiritual sleep comes and goes. I've been doing this for years and would maintain it's a little different for everyone. This will sound crazy to some and grandiose to others. I wouldn't be surprised if a few even hated me for making such a statement. Regardless, I'll go ahead and claim that in my experience, enlightenment comes and goes and it's no big deal. I hope someday to be solidly at the Turqoise level at least. That would be nice and hopefully doable. Backsliding in a big way is also a possibility. If this all sounds crazy or if reading this pisses you off, then maybe you shouldn't read my Journal. I welcome comments but I'm not interested in arguing with anyone within this Journal. That can be done somewhere else. Maybe out on the forum but I usually like to avoid arguing if possible. I think bringing up the idea of Witness Consciousness and what it consists of, is time well spent and also an idea to return to and ponder often. Maybe even have heated discussions about. ?‍♂️ Don't forget to take deep belly breaths, sense your feet and relax the small muscles of the face every now and then also. ???

@Petals Indeed! Seems a very intellectual blog. Given the multitude of Fourth Way and Gurdjieff websites, I'm going to add some more links to websites that have more of the basics of the Gurdjieff Work. For those who have the time and want to research, this will provide a more varied selection. https://www.endlesssearch.co.uk/ http://fourthwayschool.org/ https://ggurdjieff.com/fourth-way/ The three links above are to sites that are more foundational than the links below. https://www.gurdjieff.justwizard.com/index.html http://www.rahul.net/raithel/otfw/fourthway.html http://www.higherbeingbodies.com/ https://www.gurdjieff-bibliography.com/Current/17_moore_ revelation_28mar_2004-07-03.pdf https://gurdjieff.org.gr/ae/index.htm Website dedicated to the study of "The Tales"

Awakening for men not women,,,,,hmm,, that must mean that women are more naturally awake in general than men and so men need awakening more than women? ? Sounds like a probable Trump supporter has come into your life.

Maybe it's necessary to express in a negative way in order to make certain points. I don't know,,,,, If you have a friend that gets on your nerves at times because they talk too much, do you ever mention this too them? It depends on many different factors this point, I guess,,,

"Psilocybin mushrooms make nicer people" Paul Stamets says near the end of the interview. Good discussion here touching on how therapists are now being trained implementing psychedelics to break opioid addiction in people. New paradigm unfolding now it seems with the stories of success from the underground psychedelic therapy pioneers. They're moving quickly into the mainstream with Canada, Mexico, and Portugal providing supportive environments with their relaxed drug laws. Paul Stamets recommends 2 new movies concerning mushrooms Fantastic Fungi Dosed

Gollum stays in Narrative consciousness all the time. There's an alternative to being an unguided Gollum, I remind myself. Beginning with self observation which is free of inner criticism. On the path we can either heal or create. From ACIM - Heal outside the Kingdom. Create within the Kingdom.

? That works for me. I'm curious if she also equates natural awareness with presence? Or if she says,,,

I love the heart ❤️ energy in this. Hadn't watched in years. Willie Nelson looks almost young in this. ???‍?

Spontaneity is a part of the mix and a pointer towards an understanding of the scope and nature of phenomenology could you say? An Awakened spotenaity is the transformation of conditioned reactiveness. No? Reply with a subtle statement or a bold statement. A declaration, assertion, or question? Maybe a song?

Chickens cooped up will pick at one another more than free reange birds. In the big commercial chicken houses, I've observed it in the brief amount of time that I've spent around them. Growing up, a percentage of my friends belonged to families that were held hostage by a mortgage against their farm and the promises of riches in the poultry business. In the commercial houses it appeared like scapegoating would take place in the 'chicken community'. Weakened birds would eventually be pecked to death by the others. No escape! I've seen cattle do it as well. While putting out hay in the winter, I would observe how the weakest ones of the herd were always being "T-boned' by the healthy animals. Chickens are worse with their brutality though, I believe. You could call some of them aggravated chicken peckers in how they would gang up on the weak ones. The more damaged the scapegoated chickens became, the more attention they seemed to attract from the aggravated chicken peckers. Horses and goats pigs aren't exempt from forms of this behavior either. People are like this too, it seems. They sometimes behave as the human equivalent of an aggravated chicken pecker. It's an automatic or mechanical behavior. Unconscious behavior in humans. Observing schadenfreude in oneself and waking up is required. Waking up has to be an inside job. Ocke de Boer phrased it as people acting like unguided projectiles. Until the emotional center gets purified, we may periodically behave as unguided projectiles or unguided Golems' riding on the wild pendulum of emotions. The Intellectual emotional complex has to be balanced and worked on through getting grounded in the belly center. That's part of the recipe for fulasnitamnian awareness or three centered awareness. Watching an old episode of Joe Rogan with Graham Hancock. They got on the subject of people acting shitty on the internet for no good reason at all at about 48 minutes in. This reminded me of how people often feed unconsciously on negativity,,,, I just discovered that Joe Rogan is cool about ten years after the fact. The same way I 'discovered' Nirvana as well as the Red Hot Chili Peppers were good bands. The YouTube Precogs are sending me these old podcasts to watch.

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Below is taken from the classic -The Master Game. Robert DeRopp is describing here some common traps on the path that we fall into. I enjoyed his Biographical account in Warriors Way as much, if not more. He was a student of Ouspensky.lived a very interesting life. By profession he was a biologist. Either one of these books make for a good alarm clock.

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@liamnewsom202 I think I understand or at the least, I relate somewhat. Just pictured Echart Tolle saying something like -- "just let your transformed presence inform her." Trying to wake people up sometimes makes them mad and if that happens, you're lucky if you're able to go run and hide. Some schools teach we each have a psychological blind spot that has repercussions and it usually takes years to address. Thats just my 2 cents for whatever it's worth. Good luck to you.

Pearls in the chicken feed I would bet that at some point in the future, or in Heaven, there's going to be a street of gold named Ocke de Boer Boulevard and also one named Red Hawk Boulevard. Just because of four little books between the both of them. Tonight, there's not any me. Just a feeling of well being.

@fridjonk You bet! Actually, I started reading in it some today. His style of writing is a little easier to digest than Grof's. That's one of my first impressions. Also, to add some interesting trivia. There's a second appendix in the back titled : Pushing the Limits of Astrological Correspondence This does look interesting. ? My post early this morning is a good example of how I suddenly exhibit pettiness. My words about Donald Trump were a little bit harsh. A fitting expression in the form of a question would be. Who pissed in my Cheerios? I was tempted to hide the harsh remarks but I guess I'll leave it as an example and record of my fractiousness and volatility.