Zigzag Idiot

Some would say our uncontrolled imagination.

Started the day watching Hans Wilhelm videos. Pondered solving some world problems and also running for President of the United States. Tried intravenously injecting NN dmt in fumarate form around mid day for the first time ever. Amount- .17 msgs Very interesting,,,, Noted a high pitched sound,,,, I may try this again tomorrow and up the dose a bit. Ended the day watching 3 more Wilhelm videos. Taking these with a grain of salt. Like a skillet full of fried squirrel. I've quit killing squirrels and living creatures in general long ago, though. Still not against eating them when they're cooked right!

I copied this from the thread on George Gurdjieff Intentional suffering is sometimes referred to as Conscious suffering in the Fourth Way. In Talks on Beelzebub's Tales, Bennett distinguishes four types of suffering - Unnecessary Suffering, Unavoidable Suffering, Voluntary Suffering and Intentional Suffering. Lets have a look at each of these to see if they can help our understanding: The first is Unnecessary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we incur because of our unreasonable attitudes and expectations towards others, from our ill-will, hatred and rejection of others, from doubt, possessiveness, arrogance and self pity. In other words, suffering arising from our self-importance. The second is Unavoidable Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that comes to us by accident or from events beyond our control, such as interpersonal conflicts, war, disaster, disease or death. Third, we have Voluntary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish a personal aim, such as an athlete who disciplines himself to win a race, or a student who labours to get good grades. And finally we have Intentional Suffering. According to Bennett, this would be the kind of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish an impersonal or altruistic goal, one that is directed more towards service to others or to the Work, and not for any personal gain. Bennett assumes that this is what Gurdjieff meant by Intentional Suffering. From an article on the second Conscious Shock https://www.endlesssearch.co.uk/philo_is_talk_ae2005.htm

Gettin the Led out,,,

Another webpage devoted to the Enneagram. http://www.rahul.net/raithel/otfw/enneagram.html My favorite Enneagram book is probably - Facets of Unity by AH Almaas Movers and shakers concerning the Enneagram https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claudio_Naranjo https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Gurdjieff https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Óscar_Ichazo

Your articulation reminds me of hearing Ken Wilber once say in an interview about 2nd tier folks- "They are able to meet people where they find them".

These are more basic and concern personality/ego types and the outer flow. There is a body type or endocrine typology which concerns one's essence and the inner flow and direction of the Enneagram. Information on this essence typology is more difficult to find. http://www.enneagram.com/ https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Enneagram in the Diamond Approach https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enneagram-and-diamond-approach https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enneagram-holy-ideas from - https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enneagram-specific-delusions from- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enneagram-specific-difficulties from - https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enneagram-specific-reactions

The first link combines the Enneagram with Spiral Dynamics http://www.consciousdynamicsllc.com/home/levels_of_consciousness.html https://www.gurdjieff.justwizard.com/Enneagram.html I'll probably haul in some more,,,

If I decide to run for the Presidency of the United States, I'll have my cabinet picked before I announce. The secretary of defense will be someone who is all for reducing the amount spent on weapons manufacturers and who is for radically rearranging the military. Basic infantry will be shifted to being goodwill ambassadors, street clowns, and Helpers of the elderly. All necessary combatants will be Navy Seals, Army Rangers, and such. If elected, Multinational corporations will get their ass handed back to them in some way. Yet in such a way that most of them will get a case of the giggles over it. Black Sabbath's God is Dead? may be the campaign theme song. Maybe,,,not sure yet,,,, Imaginative conjecture is another expression for when one is engaged in thinking big and outside of the box.

I really enjoyed and benefited from Cynthia Bourgeault's Teaching about the Yo-yo of being. It helped me to slow down and understand how that particular amnesia takes place. The forgetting of the beauty of life whenever I go into a state of deficient emptiness. Also, how the quality or degree of our being fluctuates during the day. The works and articulation of both Almaas and Bourgeault at times compliment one another. The State of No Self The narcissistic emptiness sheds its deficiency and reveals its truth, as an emptiness that has no sense of self, but is spacious and peaceful. The deficient emptiness is actually nothing but this inner spaciousness, experienced through the judgment of deficiency. The state of no self is actually a pure manifestation of inner spacious reality, Being in its openness, we experience it as empty space, immaculate and pure, light and clean, empty of everything structured by the mind. However, the self reacts to the sense of no self in many ways—as a loss, as a deficiency, and so on, plus the associations, memories, and feelings that go with these interpretations. All this psychic content pervades the inner spaciousness so that we lose sight of its lightness, purity, immaculateness, and freedom. Instead, we feel it as deficient emptiness, dull and flat, heavy and dark. Only when we allow this emptiness to be, without judgment or rejection, without reaction or opinion, does it shed its obscurations and reveal its inherent truth: the state of no self, the freedom and openness of our Being. We experience ourselves then as a luminous night sky, transparent and pure, light and happy, cool and virginal, deep and peaceful. An emptiness, yes, but a stillness, a silence, where we recognize the absence of the familiar identity as the absence of agitation. This is black space, an inner spaciousness that manifests naturally when we accept the absence of self with no reaction at all. It arises when the self is free from identifying itself through representations. We experience freedom from the familiar identity and its structure. We experience ourselves without any structure, as openness, spaciousness, as boundless and infinite space. The Point of Existence, pg. 337 I enjoyed Leo's latest video and find that what he says most often will mesh with what Hans Wilhelm says in his videos. In some instances though, what they relate, SEEMS to be at odds. There seems to be more gain than confusion so I'll continue to watch and listen to both. Ive been binge watching Hans Wilhelm this morning.

I seem to be sensitive to Ketamine. I had a very unpleasant first trip. Have experimented with smaller doses since then. Im glad you were able to enjoy it and get something out of it. I sure didn't. It was terrible for me. I prefer Lsd, cubensis mushrooms and also the Ayahuasca concentrated solutions, one with Harmaloids (MAO-I) and Cumala Extract with 8% 5 meo dmt the other with a DMT Fumarate solution taken all at once. Actually the Harmaline is taken 30 minutes befor the other on an empty stomach. It's an all day trip with a long steady but pleasant come down. I tried that mixture the other day and it was just plain nasty. Also not a pleasant experience for me. Maybe you'll have better luck with it like you did the ketamine. A trip on a couple of 250 Lsd gel tabs is most always agreeable with me. ?

It's one of my favorites. ? Glad to hear that you enjoyed it, Drew!

@fridjonk i hope you have a trip sitter. That's a pretty heavy dose. If not already, your probably going into the ketamine hole shortly. I'll be interested in hearing/reading about your experience. Good luck to ya,,,

Don’t impose a property tax on a burned out village. Don’t scold the Lover. The wrong way he talks is better than a hundred right ways of others. These lines are from Rumi's poem - Moses and the Shepard I really appreciate them. They often come to mind.

To varying degrees, I'm in love with about every woman who keeps a Journal here. That's just the way it is. It's not my fault. Is it?

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@Lyubov I agree What one fights and resists will only persist. One proof though is if you get blisters on your pecker or if it "coughs" dust.

Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove , Terms of Endearment, and the it's sequel - The Evening Star Doctor Zhivago Old Yeller - Leaving the Drive-in theatre, I told my Parents it made my throat hurt. Where the Red Fern Grows Beaches Life is Beautiful - about an Italian Family in a Nazi Death Camp. Sophies Choice Patch Adams The World According to Garp Into The Wild - with character Alexander Supertramp - based on True Story Average People Saving Private Ryan Dead Poet's Society Some of the good ones make you laugh and cry. Not a movie but Donald Trumps election to the Presidency

I'm an Idiot and so My practice is to return to Ordinary Idiot and put on Beginner's mind as needed or required. Almaas uses the feminine pronoun when reffering to the Soul. I can only partially remember why that is. Quotes 1 and 3 of about 6. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/meaninglessness Meaninglessness in Relation to Nonconceptual Reality Refers to the Transcendence of Meaning At the stage of recognizing true nature, the soul realizes that it is the ultimate meaning of existence and of life. She understands that when she is not in touch with her true nature her mind thinks of it as absence of meaning, which she then tries to find, pursuing a particular style of life, philosophy, activity, or interest. As she realizes her essence she finds that the need for conceptual meaning disappears. She finds that meaning is being, the fact of her existence. But at the stage when the soul moves to the nonconceptual, even being is gone, for being and nonbeing are both conceptual. She may first see this as meaninglessness, as the sense that life has no meaning. Meaninglessness becomes the true condition of things, for any meaning is simply a story the discriminating mind concocts. But precise inquiry into this meaninglessness reveals it to be simply the transcendence of the concept of meaning. Meaning requires recognition, cognition, and now we are simply beyond that. Reality is simply thus, pure awareness without commentary. In other words, to see Reality as ultimately meaninglessness, even when this is idealized as total freedom, is to still view it within the concept of meaning. Reality is neither meaningfulness nor meaninglessness, neither the presence of these nor their absence. It is simply independent of anything that the discriminating mind can grasp. So when we use the term meaningless to refer to nonconceptual Reality we need to realize we are referring to the transcendence of meaning, not the opposite of meaningfulness. Recognizing that Meaningless and Emptiness are Actually Expressions of the Lack of Self-Realization It is important to understand this significant juncture in the maturation of the normal self for what it is: a spiritual juncture. The sense of meaninglessness, pointlessness, and emptiness in one’s life is not due to being in the wrong life situation, like the wrong job or marriage. The soul is becoming aware of its inner existential emptiness. Changing external life situations will genuinely relieve our inner emptiness only if this change is part of a larger and deeper change. Recognizing that this meaninglessness and emptiness are actually expressions of the lack of self-realization makes it possible to begin looking in the right direction, so to speak: to begin one’s inner search for deeper truth. Various religious or spiritual ideas, therapeutic approaches which “explain” one’s emptiness as a lack of gratification in one’s history or relationships—or even more external factors such as new work projects, new relationships, even new possessions—are all too available to fill the hole of meaning in a person’s life. But if this emptiness is filled, even with notions of spirituality, it is not possible to penetrate the emptiness and become available to the arising of one’s true nature. In our work, we approach this—as all questions—with open-ended inquiry, in which the student is invited to investigate his feelings to discover their truth within his personal experience. The teacher guides him only to inquire sincerely and points out his assumptions and defenses regarding his self-awareness. The Point of Existence, pg. 225

?‍♂️ Likewise, You're good, man. No worries and hopefully no projections. ?