Zigzag Idiot

Taken from-

Good contributions @Preety_India @DrewNows "If you could float above the earth and become aware of all the negativity that is going on, you would never laugh again. The world is ruled by negative emotions."- Ocke de Boer

I can relate very much and recommend work on understanding Superego. I'm leaving a bookmark below from a recent post in my journal which begins with how I phrase the situation. Below it though and more precise, are some very good quotes from A. H. Almaas about understanding the workings of the Superego.

I'm a former coffee and Dr Pepper addict,,,, Terence McKenna Quote about this issue- "Modern industrial civilization has very skillfully promoted certain drugs and supressed others. A perfect example is caffeine. Caffeine -- I hate to tell you this -- caffeine is a fairly dangerous drug. It isn't dangerous in that a cup of coffee will kill you, but a lifestyle built around caffeine is going to -- you're not going to live to be a hundred years old, or even seventy, unless you are statistically in the improbably group. Why is caffeine not only tolerated but exalted? Because, boy, you can spin those widgets onto their winkles just endlessly without a thought on your mind. It is *the* perfect drug for modern industrial manufacturing. Why do you think caffeine, a dangerous, health destroying, destructive drug, that has to be brought from the ends of the earth, is enshrined in every labor contract in the Western world as a right? The coffee break -- if somebody tried to take away the coffee break, you know, the masses would rise in righteous fury and pull them down. We don't have a beer break. We don't have a pot break. I mean, if you suggested, 'Well, we don't want a coffee break. We want to be a ble to smoke a joint at eleven,' they would say, 'Well, you're just some kind of -- you're a social degenerate, a troublemaker, a mad dog, a criminal.' And yet, the cost health benefit of those two drugs, there's no comparison. Obviously, pot would be the better choice. The problem is, then you're going to be standing there dreaming, rather than spinning the widgets onto the nuts."

Bill Clinton "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." George H W Bush "Read my lips: no new taxes."

A poem by Red Hawk out of his book - Wreckage with a Beating Heart It points to the Sleep of the World. IME I like the phrase Charles Tart coined- The cultural consensus trance,,,,

Why did the three wise men have ashes on their shoes? Because they came from a far.

Unconscious, unawakened humanity feeds on negative emotion to varying degrees. We can see other people better than we see ourselves as a rule. It's just energy that's being gone after when people feed on negativity. It's always justified in ways. When we seriously work on ourselves seeing our own feeding on negativity is a must. We have a choice how to respond. We can respond instead of react. A fine distinction and easier said than done. Reacting means one is just a puppet of negative emotions propelling us. We need to feel fully everything and not repress but draw the line just short of expressing negative emotions. It can be very difficult HOT work. It takes time,,, because we will always stumble. Gurdjieff referred to this kind of work as "good cooking"!!! Expressing negative emotions is wrong use of sex energy.. This is also why Work on Superego is a main focus at the start of the path in the Ridhwan Teachings. We need chi energy for walking the path. Negativity pollutes our energy in a big way. We SHOULD do this or we OUGHT to do that. SHOULDS and OUGHTS being thrown around as a rule typify the presence of super ego. Observing this can be a tool for catching this part of ourselves. It's the internalized voice in oneself that is usually one of our Parents as a rule. Not always though. Freeing oneself from the superego makes an enormous amount of energy available to us. We can't access that energy though as long as we're divided against ourselves. Quotes about working on the Superego from the Ridhwan Glossary--- Good stuff,,,, Disengaging from the Superego It is relatively easy to see that much of our opaqueness, much of our lack of openness, much of our stuckness, is due to the attacks of the superego—ours and other people’s. These are the criticisms, the put-downs, the comparisons, the judgments, the devaluations, the blaming, the shaming, the rejection, and the hatred that the superego levels at you in all kinds of situations. Here the Red latifa can specifically be used in the service of inquiry, by giving us the strength to defend against the superego. Initially, we need to defend ourselves against these attacks by directly confronting them. This can happen through challenging the superego’s authority—by telling it to back off. Such an internal confrontation requires great strength and intelligence. Later, when the Red Essence is more readily available, it becomes possible to disengage from self-judgment simply by clearly discriminating it for what it is and not going along with it. Disengaging from the superego is, in essence, a separation from your parents—the parents you long ago internalized and have lived with in your mind ever since. This disengagement allows you to see more clearly what is there in your experience, because if you’re entangled with these attacks, you won’t even know what you’re experiencing or what has caused the attack in the first place. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 279 In Order to Work Through Your Superego, You Must go all the way Down to that Pre-Verbal, Chaotic, Hellish, Negative Merged State Besides forming the basis of projections—such as the superego projections we’ve just discussed—the merged state in the infant’s symbiotic phase has another important aspect that we call “negative merging.” When the child has negative experiences with the mother, the whole world is felt as negative. There’s no separation between the infant and the mother, so in that merged state the whole world is anger, or the whole world is frustration, or the whole world is fear. The negative experiences with the mother gradually coalesce and become one big thing that is isolated from the positive part of experience. This forms the basis of the negative judgments of the superego. You project your superego outside because in the beginning, the outside and the inside were one thing. Now when you experience the negative merged state, you cannot separate what is real inside from what is real outside, and your preference is to believe it’s outside. So you can see that in order to work through your superego, you must go all the way down to that pre-verbal, chaotic, hellish, negative merged state. And when you get down to that, you feel lost, you don’t know what is going on, there’s no firm place to stand. There are swamps wherever you turn—up, down, left, right—all swamps. That’s how you experience it; everything is negative. As you experience this fully, without defending against it, certain essential states arise to move you through this negativity and hell. Diamond Heart Book One, pg. 119 Projecting One's Superego A good arena within which to recognize, understand, and deal with the superego is in our relationships with others. This is primarily because one frequently projects one’s superego onto certain individuals, and relates to them as one does to one's own superego. Of course, this defense mechanism of projection helps to keep the superego unconscious, just as any defense mechanism does. Work on the Superego, pg. 8 Recognizing and Defending Against the Superego The first way works well during the stage one of the journey when our awareness is not strong, our presence is not developed, and our inquiry is not yet skillful. That’s when we need to directly defend ourselves, to own up to our aggression and to use its strength and energy to throw the superego out, to create space to be where we are. In this way, we defend ourselves consciously—by using our strength instead of erecting walls, defenses, and resistance to protect us from dangers of the superego. In the early years of our practice of being where we are, we need to constantly recognize the superego and its ploys and learn how to defend against them. Basically, we need to tell the superego where to go: “Who cares what you think? Go to hell.” Okay, so you feel deficient, and the superego keeps insisting that you’ll never amount to anything. You can tell it, “Good—if I’m never going to amount to anything, why are you bothering me? Go find somebody else.” This is a way of disengaging, but with strength, with energy, with awareness. The Unfolding Now, pg. 66 Recognizing and Dissolving the Superego The second stage of working with the superego begins after we have learned to defend against it with strength, boldness, and aggressiveness. These are energies that we have taken back and owned and therefore can use. Our awareness is now strong and clear, and our inquiry skills are sufficiently developed to prevent a superego attack from confusing us or putting us into a tailspin. At this point, using aggression to defend ourselves is less important; simply recognizing and understanding an attack can counter it. We can often dissolve an attack simply by knowing that the superego is attacking us and understanding why. The Unfolding Now, pg. 67 Superego Attacks Incompleteness The superego does not usually attack you because Brilliancy is missing. Your superego doesn't know about Brilliancy, so it attacks you about whatever sense of deficiency it finds in your experience. Under normal circumstances, there is a misinterpretation of the hole, or lack of Brilliancy; it is not seen as the absence of a certain manifestation of your Being. Instead, your superego attacks you, saying you’re too short, your nose is crooked, you're dumb, you say things wrong, you never know which foot to put first—that kind of thing. That is the way your superego picks on you: It finds those little incompletenesses and attacks you for them. But when you understand that incompleteness has nothing to do with these things, you will have a deeper handle on your superego. Completeness happens by confronting and completely tolerating the incompleteness. So your superego, by attacking you for feeling incomplete, is really preventing you from getting closer and relaxing into your own true nature, which is complete. Brilliancy, pg. 74 Superego Keeps the Unconscious Unconscious The superego, as we have seen, is the first coercive agency that we encounter in working on ourselves, which we find to be invested in keeping the unconscious unconscious and which accomplishes this by disapproving of the unconscious material. So, our approach is to help the ego consciously defend itself against the attacks of the superego, and hence to eliminate this important part of the need for unconscious ego defense mechanisms. If this is done, some awareness of feelings and sensations will bring up the part of the unconscious disapproved of by the superego, now that the ego is not guarding against it. Work on the Superego, pg. 6 Superego Once Protected Life So the superego which was erected to preserve and protect life, becomes a coercive agency that leads to death, not only in the mental, emotional, and spiritual sense; but sometimes also in the physical sense, as in the case of psychosomatic illness and self-destructive behavior. Work on the Superego, pg. 5 Superego Resists Changes to the Status Quo The superego is that part of the person that maintains repression and fights any changes to the status quo. It is one of the main reasons why the ego defenses are needed (defending against painful ego states and maintaining ego structures being the others); and hence it is responsible for the presence of prejudices, overt and covert. Work on the Superego, pg. 5 Systems Have a Superego Whenever a person works within a certain system, the values and prejudices of that system are automatically incorporated into his superego, and in time become coercive agencies. Or, to put it more graphically, the individual develops the particular system's superego. Work on the Superego, pg. 6 The Apex of the Psychic Structure The superego is a structure that forms the apex of the psychic structure and includes the ideals of the personality and the principles of judgment. It is the seat of what is customarily called the conscience. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 134 The Inner Coercive Agency From our perspective, the superego is the inner coercive agency that stands against the expansion of awareness and inner development, regardless of how mild or reasonable it becomes. It is a substitute, and a cruel one, for direct perception and knowledge. Inner development requires that, in time, there be no internal coercive agencies. There will be, instead, inner regulation based on objective perception, understanding, and love. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 137

Ma (my Grandmother) passed away. She was buried a week ago tomorrow. She was born in February of 1924. Years ago I enneatyped her as a counterphobic six. Same as me. My mother is a phobic six. My father was an enneatype five. Older sister-enneatype type 1- Neice- enneatype - 3 - Oldest nephew- enneatype 9 Youngest nephew - enneatype 5 . i could never reach a conclusion about my Uncle who passed away 4 years ago or my Grandfather who passed away 10 years ago. Ma was a real character. She was tough. She had to be. She encountered many difficulties in her life. Of 5 girls and one boy raised in sawmill shack, she was probably the most responsible. She attended the same little southern Babtist Church all her life. She taught me and my sister cuss words when we slept with her as children. We would listen to Whiporwill,s Summer nights. She worked in a shirt factory sewing all her life. She used a wind up alarm clock and got up about 4:30 weekday mornings. Winter mornings she would start her car and let the motor warm up for about 10-15 minutes before she left. Most times before sunrise. She did the same for my neice and nephews that she did for my sister and I except it was taken even farther.when they came along. In bed before they fell asleep whenever they stayed with her, they would see who could say the raunchiest phrases my niece revealed a couple of years ago. When I visited her in the nursing home the last couple of years, we would go outside so she could smoke a couple of cigarettes. There are countless stories. I could write a book about Ma's long life with the many trials and difficulties she encountered. She was loved. She will be missed. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Thoughts, Emotions & Behaviors - All Open to Change by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen Since prescription drugs don’t get to the root of the problems, what can you do? You can get yourself or your loved one to a psychologist, that’s what you can do. Your thoughts and emotions and behaviors are changeable. In fact, your thoughts and emotions are every bit as changeable and adaptable as your behaviors. Your personality and your lifestyle are not set in concrete, either. Competent psychologists know how to motivate, initiate and guide the necessary changes. We help people gently and effectively, in a secure and trusting atmosphere, where every word you say is confidential. People change…We help you make the right changes.

I never heard this song before today. It's sad and haunting but still a good song.

From the Gospel of Thomas - (22) Jesus saw infants being suckled. He said to his disciples, "These infants being suckled are like those who enter the kingdom." They said to him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the kingdom?" Jesus said to them, "When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter the kingdom." Sounds like integration to me Being vulgar one day and then the next day quoting Jesus and referring to his Teachings makes me look like a real hypocrite. But there it stands. It is what it is. Whatever IT is,,,, Forgiveness, Being passive in the face of aggression or looking beyond others transgressions. Ways of Being which have always been difficult for me,,,, These will probably never be popular messages. Maurice Nicoll related a dream he had about a man who possessed a curious power. -"He has some curious power but hardly uses it...He seemed purified from all violence. That was the secret. That was the source of the curious power I detected in him. A man without violence,,,,"

We're all a multiplicity of many different "I"'s. Many people explain this away as moods. It's easy to frame it like that. Although it's not a flattering thing to be labeled moody, it's usually even worse to be labeled as being fractured into multiple personalities. Officially known as schizophrenia But we're all technically schizophrenic. Some more than others. In my early twenties at a time when I was in the midst of a severe depression and just barely able to function socially, I struck up a conversation with a new neighbor. They lived about a mile away. This was at a local a sports event and the first time in months I had got out of my parents basement and had gone anywhere. Trying to make conversation, I told him how beautiful it was in his neck of the woods and that a few years before as a young teenager, I had trapped some beautiful grey fox not far from his house. The way he reacted you would have thought I had just stuck him with a hot iron. He was practically foaming at the mouth threatening me that if I ever got one of his dogs in my traps,,,, blah,,, blah blah. I didn't even trap anymore. Him being a psychologiist and his wife, a veterinarian. They were kind of a hot shit ' power couple' in some people's eyes. I was completely stunned. Here was a licensed psychologist getting all reactive and just acting bat shit crazy. The world just didn't make any sense. I thought everyone in that field would be like the laid back psychiatrist Sydney that showed up occasionally on episodes of MASH. I don't know why it bothered me that bad but it really did. I'll admit to being rather 'thin skinned' all my life but in the midst of this anxiety/ depression I was in, I just felt devastated. I know it sounds silly but my mental condition was a good deal more than just shaky. I had often considered suicide just from the shame alone that plagued me. Looking back now I can see I was completely beat down and and continually scolded by my own super ego because at the time, I felt like a complete failure and a real embarrassment to my parents. Plagued continually day and night by guilt. Slowly, I managed to start working some. A gradual momentum developed. Driven a good deal in just trying to prove to my folks that that I had some worth. That, in itself though is an unhealthy way to go about life. In most all of the vertical scales of human emotion I've seen -shame - is always right near the bottom along with apathy and forms of depression with anger always being a step above. Whether it's Dianetics, David Hawkins or others I've encountered, anger will always be a step above shame, guilt, and apathy. it's one reason I use over-the-top language whenever I encourage others to defy the inner critic that is the voice of the ego . Until Superego is dealt with in a solid way, disfunction and depression will rule the day. Somehow screaming commands at a large glass ashtray in that Scientology Course I mentioned I believe was related somehow to work on Superego.. So anyone who is continually depressed and plagued by feelings of guilt and shame, tell your Superego to go take a ???FLYING FUCK IN A ROLLING DONUT!!!?? and don't stop until you feel that red energy rise up in yourself or better yet, you end up having a good laugh,,, Busting a lot of glass bottles I feel is great therapy also.

Take a deep breath and hang tough everybody. I remember a time that I openly engaged in some self criticism and I'll be damned if it didn't incite a pile on. The old saying - When it rains it pours,,,,,

If I remember correctly, Leo did respond right after the original jab was made at the beginning of one of his videos. If anyone remembers the specific video it was and wants to reply here, please do. @Perfection You have a good point but I also see not being reactive as indicative that one's ego is under control. Adeptus may have been well intentioned but to me it also smelled a little bit of a publicity stunt to cultivate viewership with his startup. That would be the more egoic in nature. I don't have an opinion about whether Leo should respond again or some more. I find Adeptus to be a likable guy but in going about it in the way he did,,,, He lost a bit of credibility with me. Dogma is an anathema around the territory of Actualized in my view. Everything is grist for the mill. The atmosphere is generally Socratic and open. Where's the dogma? Respectfully,,,?‍♂️

Remorse is valid; not guilt I've been going off on tangents lately ranting about the harmful notion of guilt. It hasn't been that long ago that I would feel guilty over random thoughts that would float through my mind. How crazy is that. It's so unnecessary. A crazy or negative thought does not have to be identified with. It can simply be let go of. This is not me. Saying the inner No to thoughts randomly generated by our word mechanism as Oscar Ichazo put it. Guilt is promoted by the fundamentalists of religions to divide people against themselves which makes them more susceptible to manipulation and thus control. Im making a distinction here between guilt and remorse which I see and experience as valid. If one didn't experience remorse, that would classify one as a psychopath or a sociopath proper, but being stained with the idea of guilt is worse than useless. It's a curse upon man in which he is under its spell. This is not something that I dreamed up on my own but rather got through the new version of the ICHING- The Oracle Of The Cosmic Way. Just ponder this notion and sit with it in your life and discern for yourselves. This is so much more than a book. Carol Anthony and Hana Moog are so overlooked in this Genus work they have through both sincere effort and synchronicity, produced. I wish Terrence McKenna was around to comment on this work. He referred to the Old Tradional ICHING and getting a reading from it was like throwing a coin which had 64 sides to it to receive an answer. This is another example where the wisdom of the Divine Feminine is leading the way in this new 2000 year 'Galactic month' which began slowly in 1963. Oscar Ichazo- The Holy Idea which acts as a catalyzer for the transformation of this ego is Holy Love/ Divine Love. This can lead to the Virtue (energy) of Action. According to Ichazo, Divine Love is “The awareness that though the laws which govern reality are objective, they are not cold, because these cosmic laws inevitably lead to the creation of organic life, and Life itself, like all natural phenomena, fulfills a cosmic purpose. As soon as the mind’s word mechanism is destroyed, love, the natural condition of the mind, appears. Love begins the moment man contemplates the Creation and says, ‘Thank you, God.’ All men feel this somewhat, no animal can feel this at all. Man alone can know that all comes from God.” From The New ICHING - The Oracle of the Cosmic Way-

I haven't experienced Eternalness but I've had the experience of infinity. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense. To experience pure Being is an experience of nonduality. It's so simple it's stupid and brilliant at the same time. Presence is being. The felt sense of pure presence is nondual. It's neither good or bad yet at the same time, it's all good. It answers the question of the existence of nonduality and also the experience that duality exists within nonduality. Duality couldn't exist if there wasn't nonduality. The words only point at it. It requires a heart to experience it. This is what has given me the experience of infinity but strangely enough there is not a felt sense of the eternal. There is a concept of eternalness that I experience intermittently but it feels more like timelessness instead of eternalness.. Essence or presence is also being. Being has flavors in a sense. These are essential aspects of being or flavors of being or presence. It's a part of the makeup of our multidimensional nature. There is also awareness that is more fundamental than aspects of essence or felt or perceived aspects of beingness. A pure nonconceptual awareness. The came about for me in a prenatal experience. There was no memory just the sudden recognition of existence and awareness. Later on there was the remembrance that was like - Oh, here again. This happened a few times before I was born. Later on the meditation practice of Centering Prayer put me into this state of empty completeness in sporadic brief episodes. Some people have the experience of remembering their birth or rebirthing as it's called. I haven't had this yet and I guess it's possible I may never have it. It's supposed to be a powerful awakening kind of experience that resolves unrecognized Inner disparities in a big way. The experience of nonduality can be just real ho hum or it can be transcendent mystical fireworks. I just spontaneously felt like throwing down this abstract rap. It may just sound like bullshit and some of it could be but that is all for now. It feels good I got it out of my system. A good use for a Journal perhaps.

@Leo Gura I haven't had an experience that has answered it for me. Do you allow for the possibility that it could be different for others. Maybe a real negative person who stays somewhat earthbound in the lower astral realms ? Or the idea that we aren't born with a completed soul and that we have to learn lessons work on ourselves to gain immortality?

I always gain insights when I listen to Martin Butler's podcasts. He's a good communicator and seems to make distinctions that no one else does about the inner life.

@Gesundheit I'm pretty much all with you,,,, ?‍♂️

@Gesundheit I enjoy reading your Journal and have a feeling that will continue. I've observed how both subtle and flagrant self deception can be when it creeps in or when I unknowingly get a vested interest in some kind of bullshit. Stupidity is it's own punishment. Either I coined that phrase myself or unkowningly picked it up somewhere in the past. Im a ZigZag Idiot at times and I study, and also try to further the Science of Idiotism. In this 'Science', one cannot be an Idiot unless they are striving to awaken or transform. There's no place for egotist within in the Science of Idiotism unless it's in the subset of the category of Hopeless Idiots. Hope you continue to Journal! Good day to ya,,,,

I've worn out this clip but I think Dwight Yoakum does a good job playing a Red SD worldview character,"Doyle Hardgraves". Morris- Orange/green? said that "Doyle was just showing his true Aries color". The character Linda - blue/orange. The part played by Billy Bob - Blue? John Ritter's character - green?

If you think Trump is honest. I've got some ocean front property in Oklahoma that I think you would just love. Trump is as red as a dog's pecker.

Chances are if you just let go of it for a few days and stop trying to explain your actions to this girl, if she's much of a friend or possibly potential friend, it will all work out. I discovered for myself anyway, that if I try to hard in circumstances like that then everything tends to goes south. If your no longer divided against yourself, it was a truly great day! Congratulations!

@Buba You were honest and was willing to be vulnerable and it backfired among people who had fear conditioned into them. IMO You don't need healed. Just decide not to be divided against yourself. You're the boss of you! You might not need to advertise it a great deal if you live in an environment where there's a lot of homophobia and such but you're the boss of your sexlife. Don't let them instill guilt in you. Maybe you can smooth things out with your folks over time and then just live the life that you choose to live. Good luck to you,,,