Zigzag Idiot

Insight seems to be synonymous with understanding. In the Fourth Way, it is said that understanding is achieved through a combination of work on knowledge and work on Being. I'm not sure where to put a thread for the Fourth Way. I guess I could in with the Journals. Any opinions from the Moderators?

I believe there is probably a good percentage of Actualizers who, if they were just to settle in to reading 'The Commentaries ' will begin to actually enjoy how Nicoll expresses himself in these ideas. Those who have a Christian background and were confused and disappointed with the fundamentalists literal interpretation of the Bible may find Maurice Nicoll's book THE NEW MAN very interesting. His writings have helped me to reconcile the disparities in my mind of what Christianity actually represents. Below is just a little sample to hint at what it offers. I have yet to read his book THE MARK. THE NEW MAN AN INTERPRETATION OF SOME PARABLES AND MIRACLES OF CHRIST by MAURICE NICOLL ALL sacred writings contain an outer and an inner meaning. Behind the literal words lies another range of meaning, another form of knowledge. According to an old−age tradition, Man once was in touch with this inner knowledge and inner meaning. There are many stories in the Old Testament which convey another knowledge, a meaning quite different from the literal sense of the words. The story of the Ark, the story of Pharaoh's butler and baker, the story of the Tower of Babel, the story of Jacob and Esau and the mess of pottage, and many others, contain an inner psychological meaning far removed from their literal level of meaning. And in the Gospels the parable is used in a similar way. Many parables are used in the Gospels. As they stand, taken in the literal meaning of the words, they refer apparently to vineyards, to householders, to stewards, to spendthrift sons, to oil, to water and to wine, to seeds and sowers and soil, and many other things. This is their literal level of meaning. The language of parables is difficult to understand just as is, in general, the language of all sacred writings. Taken on the level of literal understanding, both the Old and New Testaments are full not only of contradictions but of cruel and repulsive meaning. ,,,,,, In the psychological teaching of the Gospels, a man is not taken as what he appears to be, but as what he most deeply is. This is one reason why Christ attacked the Pharisees. For they were appearances. They appeared to be good, just, religious, and so on. In attacking the Pharisees, he was attacking that side of a man that pretends, that keeps up appearances for the sake of outer merit, fear, praise, the man who in himself is perhaps even rotten. The Pharisee, psychologically understood, is the outer side of a man who pretends to be good, virtuous, and so on. It is that side of yourself. This is the Pharisee in every man and this is the psychological meaning of Pharisee. Everything said in the Gospels, whether represented in the form of parable, miracle or discourse, has a psychological meaning, apart from the literal sense of the words. Therefore the psychological meaning of the Pharisees refers, not to certain people who lived long ago, but to oneself now—to the Pharisee in oneself, to the insincere person in oneself, who, of course, cannot receive any real and genuine psychological teaching without turning it into an occasion for merit, praise and award. Later on we will study the meaning of the Pharisee in oneself more fully. ,,,,,,

I referred to it earlier in Christian Resources Today I found the good copy. Thought I should give it, it's own space. 1400 pages condensed into 130 pages. Many good quotes here. https://inner-world-books.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Gems_of_Wisdom.pdf Maurice Nicoll UNCRITICAL SELF-OBSERVATION “Remember that it is said that self-observation must be uncritical. You do not observe yourself in order to criticize yourself. If you do so it will at once stop self-observation and lead to internal considering. . . . In self-observation we do not try to analyze—i.e. find the causes and origins of different ‘I’s in us—but seek only to become conscious of them.” V. 2, p. 560, 571 UNCRITICAL II “The Observing ‘I’ in the sense of the Work does not take sides with anything. It merely records what you are doing, what you are saying, at different moments, through the action of different ‘I’s, and does not say that this is better or this is worse. Observing ‘I’ is not shocked by anything. It is not a kind of Grandmamma or Grandpapa in you, but is quite pure and simple...It will have its own uncritical, gentle memory of all the different sides of you... We have to acknowledge and accept all sides of ourselves, because only through the acknowl- edgement, the acceptance, the consciousness of all sides of ourselves can we advance at all.” V. 2, p. 722, 724 THE VALUE OF SELF-OBSERVATION III “Self-Observation clears a space in your mind so that you can see things coming in and going out. If the energy which was about to go into a negative emotion is prevented from doing so, it may pass on and may create a moment of Self-Remembering. All this means that you have brought the Work up to the point of incoming impressions.” V. 1, p. 199 From page 15 of https://inner-world-books.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Gems_of_Wisdom.pdf

@fridjonk Thanks, Bud.? It was a fun day with some rich experiences despite it raining heavy all day. I slept like a rock last night. I appreciate the tip and I understand In theory about the cold shower but with the hot water valve right there handy, I seem unable to force myself to do that. Kind of like with people who Sky dive,,, Why jump out of a perfectly good airplane? ?? There are certain mountain creeks around where I live that are always ice cold which I use for shock therapy, though. ?. Maybe one day I'll be able to make my hand turn that hot water valve off at home.

Gurdjieffs magnum opus deals extensively with the history of Atlantis and how it's remnants after what he called the second Transalpanian perturbation became the seed for the ancient Egyptian civilization. There is world full of students of The Tales that are more scholarly than I am. Why no one is extrapolating more and making a deal out of this, ,, I don't know? Graham Hancock does, I guess but his overall interests makes his contributions by their nature obviously spread thin. But what he's referring to here, I believe is a correlation and perhaps a complementary confirmation ,,, which is being unraveled with increasing speed. It seems maybe the tide is beginning to turn in how this is all being viewed by the majority with the the more conventional view,, maybe,, In "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson" Gurdjieff spoke of the existence of the earths specific very small second moon ( which then later in the early seventies was declared as a fact by modern Astronomers and scientist. My expression of 'the facts' about this is very loosely gathered,,,in the spur of the moment,, A little bit of text from Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson “The point is that when the second Transapalnian perturbation occurred to that ill-fated planet, then, besides its chief continent Atlantis, many other large and small terra firmas entered within the planet and, in their place, new terra firmas appeared on the surface of the planet. “These displacements of the parts of the common presence of that ill-fated planet then continued for several days, with repeated planetary tremors and with such manifestations as could not fail to evoke terror in the consciousness and feelings of beings of every kind.

Wow! I mean!! I felt an increase in cranial pressure from just watching. This guy deserves a day off with pay. Got introduced to these on the forum last year. They're starting to get their hooks into me.

This whole notion of planning a psychedelic trip is for the birds. My best trips are always the spontaneous ones. That seems to be the rule for me. I've had guests for a couple of days and I spontaneously began a trip with 2 -250ug gel tabs at about 3:00am this morning. I topped it off mid morning with 3- 175ug blotter tabs. One of my guests whipped up some spicy hot chili with both Cayenne and jalapeño peppers in it about sunrise. I learned my lesson for good this time. Does not jive with hypersensitive belly center and body chemistry on Lsd. I had to take 3 hot steaming showers to offset what I call a case of the "Chiquaqua lsd jitter shivers". It a condition that involves sweating and then shivering while being kinda antsy and fidgety like a hyperactive mean little Chiquaqua dog. It sounds worse than it actually feels. It's become almost standard in my last few trips which seem to have tapered off in frequency compared to last year. Meanwhile, 12 hours later in regards to the chili, I still don't trust my farts. It's been a nice even comedown this afternoon. One of my guests are comfortable enough with themselves that I feel free to express whatever my inner Six year old decides to comment on. My last 2 trips I've experienced being different forms as a bird of Prey. The air becomes suffused with fine silky energetic filaments with a definite purple hue to it. I feel into others innerspace. I don't do it. It just happens if I get out of the way. I may elaborate on this more sometime. A lot of people don't feel at home with lsd. In my reaquaintence with this substance from my youth. With age, I find it's completely different. There's a loss of personal boundaries and a great reduction in fear overall. I become childlike in expression. I'm a believer in good stout doses that overwhelms psychologically. No room at all for resistance of what's coming on. It completely washes over. With lighter doses, we question and are more prone to doubt ourselves which can unnecessarily get the ball rolling in the wrong kind of way creating negative feedback loops. This is not a substance for people with large areas of untouched and completely unconscious shadow material. If you're not fairly comfortable with yourself in being open with kindred spirits,, maybe you should pause and honestly reassess if this is what you need to do,, No matter your opinion of Robert Plant. He always been a free spirit and as a performer in front of thousands he sets a high standard in embodying creative abandon and fearlessness. IMO, it gives him his natural authentic clout that's truly his own. There's something creative and affirming about the spirit of cutting loose your inner hippy with people you feel comfortable with as kindred spirits.

Today was my #53 birthday I think. It was a very eventful day. I won't even attempt to describe or summarize it. I just need to chill out for a second and listen to some hippy music. Sometimes with a few deep breaths, things begin to fall into place and then begin to unfold in someway.

A. H. Almaas Cynthia Bourgeault Ocke de Boer Ted Nottingham George Gurdjieff P. D. Ouspensky Maurice Nicoll Matt Kahn Chogyam Trungpa Robert S. DeRopp Matt Kahn Carol Anthony Jean Houston Arnold Keyserling Leo Gura Stan Grof Charles Tart Ahilesh Ayyar Ken Carey Marianne Williamson David Hawkins Rodney Colin Bruno Martin J. G. Bennett Red Hawk Jack Kornfield Brad Warner

When I've attempted direct communication with you in the present it feels like you suddenly draw back. I've stated my predisposition for not really wanting to aim for a long term intimate relationship. I confessed my track record wasn't so good in that regard in terms of being relationship material. I'm conditioned very much to living the single life. Therefore don't waste time on me if that's what your mind is ultimately set on. I said, "Let's be friends". The world will unfold however it unfolds. I admit that there has been another who I couldn't help but be intrigued by. When I shared what I just shared here. It was definitely taken in another way. To say I was scorned upon would be putting it lightly. I really hated how that happened. I kept trying to make light of things in an indirect way but it seemed to only make things worse. Don't think that this isn't being noticed by quite a few. Most would die from embarrassment if they actually saw how unknowingly transparent we all are to the rest of the world and that we often completely give ourselves away In many different ways while denying the reality of this phenomena. All of us are Idiots of one kind or another and I don't claim innocence. Knowing without a doubt how I can often just act like a dick. I don't know what else to say for now other than the title to that old song from the 80's - Don't Worry be Happy.

A Path to Knowledge by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen Your religion, be it an organized church or personal religious convictions or your way of life, is not knowledge itself. But it does provide you with a pathway to knowledge. We ought not to assume that anybody here has already reached it. If so, they wouldn’t be here. Even the highest teachers among us are also learners and students. Everything that happens in your life is a potential lesson – an opportunity to get closer to knowledge. How you respond to these things that happen in your life create either a step forward, a step back, or keep you where you are. Your choices determine your learning. Your choices are your learning. You can accept your path and walk it, or you can deny your path. But you cannot avoid your path forever. It’s been given to you, and you cannot make it go away. But you can acknowledge it and you can embrace it. And peace will come to your mind when you let go and accept the plan for your path to knowledge. ———————-/———- Jim’s message this week reminds of that phrase - ‘Whatever it is you resist will persist’. There’s a corollary phrase in the Fourth Way having to do with the Law of Three- ‘The more you oppose 2nd force, the stronger it grows.‘

I took this short test yesterday. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test My personality was assessed as being an INFP-T. The T on the end means that I'm a turbulent mediator as opposed to an assertive mediator type with this particular test. A few weeks ago in a short test, I was assessed as an INTP. The first test I took was well over a year ago which I kinda hurried through. In it I was assessed as an ISFJ. In the past I arrogantly dismissed MBTI as being just conventional malarkey. This attitude though is consistent with a former typology I've studied which reveals my distrust in conventional authority also having an overcompensating quality with things I'm engaged in. What really began to change my mind was reading other people's assessments and articulation of MBTI types. These are assessments by both educated and layperson enthusiasts who have a natural draw to typologies and a gift for using it and definitely doesn't include everyone with this interest. I plan to go deeper into this study and perhaps mesh it with the other typologies I've studied which has kinda been my predisposed tendency.

I thought this thread deserved a bump. If nothing else than its having a link to the condensed book - Gems Of Wisdom Nicoll was born at the manse in Kelso, Scotland, the son of William Robertson Nicoll, a minister of the Free Church of Scotland. He studied science at Cambridge University before going to St. Bartholomew's Hospital and then to Vienna, Berlin and Zürich where he became a colleague of Carl Gustav Jung. Jung's psychological revelations and his own work with Jung during this period left a lasting influence on Nicoll as a young man.[1] After his Army Medical Service during the first World War, in Gallipoli and Mesopotamia, he returned to England to become a psychiatrist. In 1921 he met Petr Demianovich Ouspensky, a student of G. I. Gurdjieff and he also became a student of Gurdjieff the following year. In 1923, when Gurdjieff closed down his institute, Nicoll joined Ouspensky's group. In 1931 he followed Ouspensky's advice and started his own study groups in England. This was done through a programme of work devoted to passing on the ideas which Nicoll had gathered and passing them on through his talks given weekly to his own study groups. Many of these talks were recorded verbatim and documented in a six-volume series of texts compiled in his book series Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky. Taken from: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_Nicoll If memory serves me right, after World War 1 Nicoll, being aquaintences with Carl Jung, passed up an opportunity to study more with him but chose instead to work with Ouspensky and Gurdjieff. Nicoll was the first and I believe the only person that both Gurdjieff and Ouspensky validated and gave consent to be a Teacher of their Work.

@seeking_brilliance I'm glad to hear that. I'll try to keep my comments here relative to this book study or any comments you may make. The George Gurdjieff thread in High Consciousness Resources will have material that is 100% Fourth Way relevant. Below is a link to a Maurice Nicoll thread I made a while back which contains a link to Gems of Wisdom. I'm open to questions about the Fourth Way anytime in my Journal or private message. Perhaps I should start a thread on the Fourth Way,,,,

A byproduct of Centering Prayer meditation practice is 'objectless awareness' or non-conceptual awareness. To me if feels like a push beyond just plain inner silence. The range of human emotion has quite a spread. In the past I was especially bothered by constant neurotic internal dialogue. Just plain ole inner silence has felt like a blissful state of consciousness after months,, years, maybe where there was just confusion, no real understanding and often, a felt sense of meaninglessness. I'm still not above having negative states of consciousness, accompanied by too much thinking, slight paranoia with mumbles and argumentative jabs from the crew members of my ship of fools. The seas are just a little smoother than in the past. Excuse me please if I'm wearing out the allegory of the ship,,, It's an attempt at lightheartness concerning a serious state of affairs. It didn't really start that way for me but as time goes on, I find more and more depth to it. Maurice Nicoll's 1766 page Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky was so enjoyable to read that when I finished it I read it again just a few months later. This work has been condensed down to 130 Pages called Gems Of Wisdom, and its just one great quote after another. I'm not trying to sell anyone on the Fourth Way but just use what part of this that you find meaningful and leave the rest. I was just going to quote the first and third paragraph but I decided to just leave the 2nd in place even though it uses a specific term that may seem weird to some. Maybe not though. These quotes really seem applicable to the last couple of chapters. SEEING THE OPPOSITES “Try sometimes to see the opposite point of view to that which you hold...If the opposite is genuinely and with effort included in con- sciousness the sphere of consciousness is greatly increased and a number of unpleasant features in us disappear. Our one-sidedness, which causes our over-sensitive reactions and also our totally wrong ways of self-evaluation, is replaced by a broader, fuller consciousness. We can no longer insist we are right nor be cast down when proved to be wrong. We find it more difficult to be petty. In fact, we begin to escape from the prison of ourselves whose bars and gates result from our one-sidedness.” V. 5, p. 1521 THIRD FORCE “The Work teaches that there are three forces in every manifesta- tion. We see only two—if we see as far as that...Third Force lies between the opposites and so we can picture it as the mid-point of the pendulum-swing. If you take the feeling of ‘I’ out of both sides of the pendulum, then you do not feel yourself through the opposites and the feeling of ‘I’ moves to the centre, into nothingness, or, if you pre- fer, into not-somethingness. Here in the middle is the place or state where ‘Real I’ is.” V. 1, pp. 329-30 INNER SILENCE “Different ‘I’s, ranged along the orbit of the swing, wish to say now this and now that, as the light of consciousness touches them, wakes them to momentary life. To a limited extent one may permit them to speak, provided one has a distinct idea that neither side is right. Inner silence means being silent in oneself. It means not taking sides in yourself and so being silent. This is impossible if you identify with every ‘I.’ You may let talk take place on one side or the other, but you observe it and are in yourself silent.” V. 1, p. 334

The heart as an organ of spiritual perception From the view of many Mystics and as well as different orders of Contemplatives, the passions are not viewed as a benificial attribute. From some Enneagram perspectives, the passions are the direct opposite of Virtues which mostly can only come into one's being only after prolonged struggle and effort in working on oneself. Although it seems that everyone is gifted perhaps with one unique, freely given virtue at the start of life. Of particular importance is waking up to one's automatic or reactive behaviors held in place by well worn neuronal networks which are often jumpstarted by the amygdala. This is the process of having your heart hijacked and allegorically could be viewed as the Devil's admission ticket into one's Soul. The devil being none other than fear based egoic identification. In this talk given by Rev. Phd. Cynthia Bourgeault she addresses this with a degree of thoroughness yet concisely so, in a just a 30 minute talk. She speaks about how an undivided heart has the capacity for higher seeing or acts, in a way, as a mirror for a higher vibratory level of reality. This can only come about after the mind has become the servant of the heart, in a sense, with innocence. (I'm a poet and didn't know it) And yes, we're speaking of the actual physical heart which as articulated by the Heartmath institute produces a field of electromagnetic energy and moreso when the heart is in an attuned entrainment with the prefrontal lobes of the brain. I view this allegorically as the Intellectual complex willingly taking counsel from from an awakened heart. When someone is driven by a passionate energy, the mind is fixated which actually divides the heart. When the mind is so fixated, the heart is knocked out of entrainment with the reality of a higher vibratory level. This is the result of an obsessive, stuck emotion identified with a particular outcome. Spiritual wisdom being intrinsically moral can almost be framed as the exact opposite in that it is the state of non-attachment, letting go and allowing a spaciousness for the beneficence of the Cosmos to manifest out of the realm of the atom or the realm of Consciousness. This is my attempt at a brief summary paraphrasing C.B.'s talk, which includes a few of her exact expressions and some of my own spices. The poem titled 'Love' by Arnold Keyserling, just above goes nicely with this talk.

@soos_mite_ah That looks like a fun course. When I read your post, I immediately thought of chapter 8 of Chance and Choice titled Global Consciousness. Here's a link in case your interested- http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/global-consciousness/

@DrewNows I thought so too! Credit goes to Doctor Jim. Learning different typologies helps me to integrate. By observing my reactive and automatic behaviors and giving a good look at what the triggers are. I may catch it before it manifests outwardly next time. ,,,, Sometimes,,, Too many people only use their enneatype as something to continually verify and identify with. It can be so much more. A way to go beyond one's automatic behavior. Analysis paralysis is a phrase associated with Enneatype sixes. Which seems to be my chief feature. Because Arnold Keyserling was a riotous universal heretic, sometimes in disguise, and became a bad/good influence on a young lawyer named Ralph Losey in the early 70's, they chose to number their version of Enneagram differently. If questioned about this. They might say "Oh, that's just to make it more difficult.,,, Huh?? The following is their description of my enneatype based on categories of language which coorelates with the usual 6 given by Palmer, Riso, and Hudson. Actually this is a typology based on what I call the Keyserling Wheel. To me it seems to combine the Enneagram and the Astrological wheel in a strange way that puts me into a weird space of having the feeling of comprehension of it almost at my fingertips and just beyond grasp. ANALYZE/DISTINGUISH: SPIRIT-SENSING. The adjective - 5 - pertains to analysis, to distinguishing one from another. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Mercury. Mercury involves qualitative discernment and the impulse to judge and rate. It is the "either-or" dissective counterpoint to "both-and" synthesis. The complementary impulse is the first, healing synthesis. The personality type is called the "Status Seeker" or "Performer" or "Motivator". They can be narcissistic, deceptive and pretentious, more concerned with the appearances and trappings of success in their work than with real accomplishments. They are frequently self- assured and energetic, but often too quick to accept the easy answer to a problem, and try to succeed in work through narrow specialization, frequently failing to see the forest for the trees. They tend to be the "Type A" personalities who are ambitious, overly-competitive or "work-aholics". They can also be genuinely-productive, authentic, good motivators and promoters, efficient, knowledgeable and accepting of their limitations, with many outstanding inner qualities and good judgment. from http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/ Below are some of Arnold Keyserling's poems and ,,,,, prophesies, for lack of a better word. Community of Joy Whoever trusts in himself, and respects every friend as a co-worker, will find a community of joy, which in the past was a rare exception and the lot of only a few. from https://schoolofwisdom.com/ Transformation Your transformation can begin immediately. The first step of transformation is the observation of N O T H I N G N E S S, of the interval. The Nothingness is true existence. Until now you have only valued the experience, instead of the interval. The secret of your strength lies in the interval between the shapes and experiences which inhabit your being. Meaning You will come to your senses and discover yourself, when you finally and forever abandon self-pity and self-criticism. Love The essential experience is and remains love. It can’t be induced by sensorial perception because in order for it to penetrate inwardly and emanate outwardly one must be ready for it. Love is the medium of life to be attained, to feel at home with it and through it to examine and govern all phenomena. Whoever opens himself up to the river of love loses his home: he exists in the Universe. Sadness and darkness are no less powerful than laughter and jesting. But in the river man is truly man, he is the master of himself, speaking with things without harming their sacred quality. Wait for the fulfillment of pleasure. This expectation alone produces this openness whereby love flows through all four gates and your center of being is included in the divine circular dance of happiness. Love reaches from the body to the last star, it is a bond which endures. One can never forsake love. Love is omnipresent, it is all consuming, it is all knowing. When there is a lack of awareness, love is destroyed. Love requires your complete participation. L O V E is fullness in equilibrium, letting go, always forgiving, giving, never confining, being aware, valuing that which is real once the dross has been burned away. Love conquers. It creates beautiful things, it is truthful, it exists in harmony with all beings, it protects and preserves values from alienation, it seeks nothing, yet finds all. Seek the dark love as the path to joy and light. Love means to accept the way things appear and let live. Love comes from the fullness of being. It is neither spiritual nor holy. It is God’s gift to reality. Remain true to this one command: love as a pledge of reality. The opposition of the lazy can only be broken with love. Love doesn’t mean grace any longer. It means being a part of the primal vibration of the universe. It is not something that you do, rather something that flows through you. You can’t cultivate love. Love cultivates you, once you open yourself up to it. It surrounds everything; without love there is no motion.

Great notes and also self observations, @seeking_brilliance . The term 'deficient emptiness' is one that I find useful which encapsulates the core of a variety of negative states of consciousness and the practice is to develop the capacity to sit with it. Sitting with it then allows space for transformations to occur. On the subject of suffering is a quote from the Fourth Way work. I find it very sustinct and to the point distinguishing unnecessary suffering and intentional (conscious) suffering. The first is Unnecessary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we incur because of our unreasonable attitudes and expectations towards others, from our ill-will, hatred and rejection of others, from doubt, possessiveness, arrogance and self pity. In other words, suffering arising from our self-importance. The second is Unavoidable Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that comes to us by accident or from events beyond our control, such as interpersonal conflicts, war, disaster, disease or death. Third, we have Voluntary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish a personal aim, such as an athlete who disciplines himself to win a race, or a student who labours to get good grades. And finally we have Intentional Suffering. According to Bennett, this would be the kind of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish an impersonal or altruistic goal, one that is directed more towards service to others or to the Work, and not for any personal gain. I too, have used cannabis for dissociating from the world. If one is half aware that that is what's going on, though, it looses its effectiveness and although not immediately, integration to some degree will occur. I'm just saying this seems to be the case in my own life. IME, A great hardcore practice for dealing with suffering is ruthlessly observing ones own schadenfreude. It's culturally acceptable to wish ill on the bad guys in the movies but when these kinds of thoughts arise in association with family and friends, it's another story. If not observed and sorted out and dealt with, these kinds of thoughts can hurl one into a psychic entropy. I can give myself some space and declare yes, a reactive part of me is saying this but in my heart of hearts, this is not me and I say NO to this negative little sub personality. After engaging in this kind of Inquiry, I even begin to have empathy towards people who are chronically negative in some way, realizing that they're caught up in suffering and being propelled automatically in reactive behavior. In a sense, they're caught up in their own Hell. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

This is a GREAT video because this issue is so overlooked in the Self development/Actualization world. Ouspensky and Gurdjieff framed it as people consisting of many "i"s. Gurdjieff also referred to people as being taxi-cabs in that these different "I"'s would be directing the cab (one's body) with the frequency of a busy metropolitan taxi-cab. This issue has been completely overlooked by the majority of modern Therapists which ironically explains the existence of some ineffective Therapists. This issue was articulated well by one of the grandfathers of Transpersonal psychology, Charles Tart. In the conventional world of Psychologists with its vested interests of theory and more or less dogma, as far as I can tell up to now, it has mostly been dismissed or looked past. Not to get off the subject here. I'm in agreement for the most part with @DefinitelyNotARobot and others. Cannabis affects people differently and the variety of strains adds much to that mixture. Having a grasp on the fundamental fractureness of humans in general, the use of cannabis can accelerate integration but by all means it's not going to be a walk in the park. At least periodically at times, anyway. As a rule, when I've let my system clean up and then I smoke again. A good deal of paranoia will surface. If I then double down and keep smoking, usually this inner territory is traveled past. I don't think Cannabis use is for everyone but on the other hand, people shouldn't let the effects of some paranoia and introvertedness to completely scare them away. The only one to decide this is each individual deciding for themselves while taking into consideration all of the variables. IMO I would be getting in over my head in a hurry if I brought up the issue of cannabinoid receptors being discovered in many types of cells in the body. This would be good grounds for arguing and perhaps advocating for the medicinal use of Cannabis. It could be already and I'm just not aware of it. The strains of Berry White and Purple Hindu Kush among a few others have been agreeable with my body and psychological make up.

Gurdjieff was a good example of a multifaceted being. He would often play a role provoking others in some way to 'help'people in their work on themselves. He looked after and more or less supported several couples and families that had followed him out of Russia. He fathered some children out of this bunch of followers who were fleeing the War as well as some other followers from France and the U.S.. Gurdjieff was a Mystic but was definitely not a Saint. He was a good business man and entrepreneur. From trading and selling Persian rugs to being a silent partner in a restaurant when he settled in Paris. He was a Musician and a Teacher of Dancing. Gurdjieff also drank like a fish. I wouldn't rule out that he was an alcoholic by today's measure. Although Gurdjieff speaks highly of Christianity and of Jesus Christ, there are also many stories of his making fun of Catholic priests, even shouting at them on occasion. For example, his niece Luba reported in her Luba Gurdjieff: A Memoir with Recipes, "My Uncle never taught us how to go to church, or pray, or anything like that. And he never liked priests or the nuns. When we were out driving and he saw a priest, he would say, 'Shoo! Son of a bitch.'"

The Facts of an Imperfect Life by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen Fact #1: You are not perfect. Nothing you do can possibly make you perfect. This is not because there is something basically wrong or inadequate about you. It is because you are a person, a human being. Fact #2: If you think you are supposed to be perfect, you are probably doing lots of senseless things to reach that place you can’t get to. And none of them work. It doesn’t mean you’re not doing it right. It means you can’t get there, and nobody else can either. Fact #3: You are a worthwhile, loveable human being on the inside, just the way you are right now. This is true even if you don’t know it, and even if you’ve made lots of regretful mistakes. Fact #4: There is nothing you can do to change these facts of life. Fact #5: If you accept these facts, you will be making a significant step toward reducing anxiety and finding peace of mind. You are at your best when you are at peace.