Zigzag Idiot

I just finished redoing my profile. I forget about the thing and hardly ever go there. Took out some Fourth Way links but added a little commentary and links to Maurice Nicoll and Almaas Glossary along with a quote. Speaking of which,,, I almost posted this one in the forum just now but thought better. The Simple Recognition that You Can’t do Anything If we read about the lives of enlightened masters or mystics, we see that often their enlightenment or realization happens when they hit bottom, when they get to the point of being completely helpless and hopeless and incapable. They throw in the towel and completely and truly give up. You can’t fake this; it really has to happen. You have to exhaust all your capacities and truly give up, not out of cynicism or despair but out of the simple recognition that you can’t do anything. When this truly happens, satori is possible and awakening can erupt as true nature manifests with its blazing light. True nature wakes up by revealing to itself the delusion that it is this little self that is trying to practice and get somewhere. And when it sees this, it does not put its energy into the functioning of that little self. It doesn’t put its intelligence and its will into the action of that little self, because that little self can impede the whole process of true nature awakening to itself. It’s not that the little self has the independent power to impede awakening, but because true nature still hasn’t woken up to itself, it is putting all its power into the activity of the little self. So when the little self feels that it can’t do anything, that it is poor in capacity, it is in fact recognizing the power of true nature. The Alchemy of Freedom, pg. 94 Yesterday I was thinking that there could easily be different usages for awakening as there are different usages for ego. The way @Leo Gura uses the term awakening seems slightly different than how it’s used in esoteric Christianity. Not implying that one way is more right than the other. Each has its validity. Just a half baked thought,,,,

It seems that in addition to total surrender peace comes from understanding.

#3“You only have freedom when you realize you have no freedom or free will”.,,,, #4 Are you identified? Which means are you judging yourself? ,,,,

@LastThursday I appreciate your thoughtful reply. I would recommend to anyone who had any interest at all towards it, the I CHING and in particular the revised version called The Oracle of the Cosmic Way. https://www.ichingoracle.com/ If you’ve followed my Journal you’ve seen a bit of its commentary from time to time and my reasoning for abandoning the old version. As you probably know C.G. Jung had an avid interest in it and actually coined the term synchronicity when he wrote the forward for the Wilhelm Baines edition. Referring to the mechanics of how it worked as constrained chance, if I’m remembering right. Terence McKenna, also a student of the I CHING said it was like throwing a coin which had 64 sides,,,, This is just a three minute clip about Gurdjieff and his role playing.

Darn it, @LastThursday You burst my bubble. Although it has been punctured somewhat and slowly leaking over time. Being that I’m naturally math stupid I’ve been riding numerology for all it’s worth for quite a few years. What you say resonates though. At the height of my numerology mania, looking at license plates and anything with numbers on it became obsessive compulsive that would often lead me far away into abstraction. Does the following add up any for you? Lunar essence types energy is passive and negative polarity with the pancreas being the dominant endocrine gland. The chief feature of Lunars often is said to be willfulness. For whatever it’s worth, I’ve typed Leo as being almost archetypal Lunar. You may view this essence typology I’m using in the same light as numerology though. It was born out of the enneagram and the Gurdjieff Work and goes by outer appearance mostly. How people carry their weight and somewhat of how they express themselves. Just thought I’d throw it out here. I enjoy reading your posts. Good day to ya,,,

Maybe even with high wattage,,,,?

I can’t remember ever meeting a stupid person who had any degree of clarity regarding the extent of their own stupidity. If it were to happen, I think chances are it would be someone who was childlike. I don’t know,,,

It becomes so quiet after a snow a lot of times. Snow can bring the experience of wisdom because the outer quiet provokes an inner quiet.

@Aquarius Glad to have your presence here regularly. Have you recently started using cannabis?

It kind of is. But it speaks to the persistence of egoic imagination, dreams and spiritual sleep. In esoteric Christianity it’s said "'To awake,' 'to die,' 'to be born.' These are three successive stages. Similar types of sayings also in Buddhism and Hinduism. But yeah,,, not very cheery.

My condensed version that’s worth about 2 cents- Awakening is the realization of Being as our true nature. At the same time we see we can’t do anything. We’re just a mass of conditioned reactions and instinctual drives that propel us through this world. We live as unguided projectiles and realize our helplessness. Everything just happens. It’s so awful that we die in a certain way after we awaken. There is then the possibility of becoming a twice born. The Diamond Approach Glossary has 11 excerpts about awakening. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/awakening

@Leo Nordin When are YOU going to get enlightened, what are you waiting for?

The Diamond Approach glossary is an overlooked treasure, IMO. It has the depth to help one make many of the finer distinctions concerning multiple usages of words and often confusing concepts found among many different paths. This in itself can help one to see whenever there is a seeming contradiction between paths but, when seen more objectively, it’s just a misunderstanding of perspectives. Confusion About the Term "Ego" Here we digress to point out a source of confusion about the term “ego.” Readers who know both the spiritual and psychological literatures will find the term freely used in both, but with no general agreement on what the term refers to. This ambiguity often leads to confusion. The literature on spiritual development, on essential or inner development, on all matters of religious concern, generally uses the term “ego” to mean something which is seen as the barrier to spiritual realization. The literature on depth psychology, however, uses the term with a very different meaning. The ego referred to by Freud, and which ego psychology studies, is not the ego which is the barrier to spiritual development. They are two different concepts. The psychoanalytic term “ego” refers, rather, to the functional self, which is the site, organizer, and coordinator of the functions of perception, memory, mobility, and so on. There is, however, a concept in depth psychology and ego psychology that coincides with the ego of spiritual literature: it is called the “ego-identity,” and is sometimes referred to as the sense of self, or the sense of identity. This sense of self or separate identity is the main concern of ego developmental theory. This identity is, in fact, the acme, the most important outcome of ego development. It is ultimately the organizing center of the psychic apparatus. This psychic apparatus includes as one of its units the Freudian ego. In other words, the Freudian ego is part of the mind, is a structure or a structured process in it, while the self is a sense of identity and a center of action. The exact sense in which the ego identity is a barrier to spiritual development will become clear in later chapters. Interdependence Between Ego and Being To know that one is Being, which is not within the realm of images, is such a subtle understanding that it seems impossible for a child to have this knowledge. Enlightenment must wait for the maturity of perception, discrimination and understanding, since it depends on self knowledge. These capacities depend upon concepts. We can say then that ego is needed for enlightenment, since the beginning of conceptualization in childhood is inextricably linked with the development of the ego. So first the ego, which is needed for knowledge and functioning, develops; then the capacity for discriminating knowledge, among other things, leads to the dissolution of the ego. The final result is the life of Being, including the development of functioning within the realm of Being. This interdependence between ego and Being can also be seen in the process of inner metabolism. Ego on its own cannot complete the metabolism of experience and hence cannot bring about complete human development; Being is needed for this process to take place. On the other hand, Being cannot accomplish on its own the whole process of metabolism; it cannot dislodge ego when ego is defensive. From the perspective of the mind, Being can be resisted easily with a slight movement of ego; thus ego must first cooperate by relinquishing its defensive posture. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 167 from- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/ego

I get on my own nerves sometimes. It feels like an in between state of identification once it gets observed. I believe it’s that side of me that stays in the blind spot. It’s the annoying part of me that other people have to endure. Awareness is curative applies here as well. Very much so. As two natured beings we stand between two realities. Some applicable Maurice Nicoll quotes- TWO REALITIES “We stand between two realities, one given by the senses and the other given by our relationship to Higher Centres. One is external and the other is internal and, I would add, eternal. It has often been said that this Work is to prepare the lower centres for the reception of Higher Centres.” V. 4, p. 1322 CLEANING THE MACHINE “The first stages of the Work are sometimes called ‘cleaning the machine.’ . . . The Work tells you more about what not to do than about what to do. Now people often ask: ‘What am I to do?’ On that side the Work says only two definite things: ‘Remember yourself’ and ‘Observe or notice yourself.’ That is what you must try to do. But on the other side the Work says many things about what not to do. It says, for example, that you must try to struggle against being identi- fied, try to struggle with mechanicalness, with mechanical and wrong talking, with every kind of internal considering, with every kind of self-justifying, with all the different pictures of yourself, with your special forms of imagination, with mechanical disliking, with all va- rieties of your self-pity and self-esteem, with your jealousy, with your hatreds, with your vanity, your inner falseness, with your lying, with your self-conceit, with your attitudes, prejudices, and so on.” V. 1, pp. 160-1 INNER STABILITY “Other feelings of oneself are possible that are not derived from life and personality, and these feelings give a man a sense of stability that nothing outside him can take away. And it is from these feelings that a man begins to feel himself free, because they depend on nothing outside him...Personality, roughly speaking, lives by comparison with others...Real ‘I’ does not exist through comparison.” V. 1, pp. 274-5 INNER STABILITY II “We have to make something very strong in ourselves by the help of the Work little by little so that we can withstand the shifting scene, moments of happiness followed by moments of depression, moments of hope followed by moments of despair, in order that we may have a centre of gravity within ourselves . . . a certain point of consciousness that is invulnerable. This is the beginning of the birth of Real I in you which is not influenced by outer circumstances. One then works the other way round—that is, the machine formerly driven by outer events is now worked from within—from what is higher than life.” V. 4, p. 1343 WEAKENING THE HOLD OF PERSONALITY “Now the realization of one’s mechanicalness and the realization of one’s ignorance—for all knowledge leads into mystery—are necessary for any transformation of oneself to take place. Why? Because they weaken the hold of the acquired Personality.” V. 3, p. 1051 ADDING VERSUS TAKING AWAY “The first step in the Work is to begin to free oneself from oneself. This Work is not adding something to oneself but taking away from oneself and it is only what is useless to one’s development that the Work seeks to take away.” V. 2, p. 425 THE POSSIBILITY OF ESCAPE “It is a marvelous thing to find you can move in new directions inter- nally and escape from this spurious invention of yourself. Just say to yourself: ‘Why am I always like this? Why do I always feel this? Why, in short, am I always the same fixed person?’ ” V. 3, p. 983 THE TRAJECTORY OF WORK “The increasing feeling of the Work as stronger than life and all its ups and downs and swinging to and fro between the opposites brings about a state of Self-Remembering that is not due to chance nor is merely a fleeting experience. But for a very long time we mix the Work with our associations, with the machine of personality, which is driven by life and reacts to it mechanically. And this is inevitable because only a gradual separation is possible. A person cannot be torn away suddenly from personality. It would destroy him. So even though we try to work, we identify with the reactions of personality.” V. 1, p. 332 THE TRAJECTORY OF WORK II “You may be sure that once your evaluation of the Work is strong enough and you hear it enough and reflect upon it enough, you will see gradually unfolding the mystery of your own development. This mystery is different in each person. That is why it is so important not to compare yourself with other people. A great deal of negative emotion arises from comparison. Remember always that the Work is equally difficult for everyone and that it does not become easier. It is always difficult. And yet it is not too difficult if one will remember enough and maintain a certain inner strength of will in regard to it.” V. 3, p. 959

I just love this guy. What an intellect as well as an original thinker! Back in the mid 1990’s I had a 30 minute vhs tape of him laying out his theory about 2012 and the transcendental object at the end of time. I had no idea about his extensive knowledge until years later. Being exposed to many of his edited short YouTube’s definitely furthered my appreciation. His ability to speak of the cuff about a wide range topics is also impressive as well.

I’m glad I don’t have to do this anymore.

If it’s based on empathy but is doing nothing for alleviating others suffering, I might put it in the category of unnecessary suffering. I’ve used this categorization of types of suffering for the last 5 years or so. It’s Fourth Way sourced material. In Talks on Beelzebub's Tales, Bennett distinguishes four types of suffering - Unnecessary Suffering, Unavoidable Suffering, Voluntary Suffering and Intentional Suffering. Lets have a look at each of these to see if they can help our understanding: The first is Unnecessary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we incur because of our unreasonable attitudes and expectations towards others, from our ill-will, hatred and rejection of others, from doubt, possessiveness, arrogance and self pity. In other words, suffering arising from our self-importance. The second is Unavoidable Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that comes to us by accident or from events beyond our control, such as interpersonal conflicts, war, disaster, disease or death. Third, we have Voluntary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish a personal aim, such as an athlete who disciplines himself to win a race, or a student who labours to get good grades. And finally we have Intentional Suffering. According to Bennett, this would be the kind of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish an impersonal or altruistic goal, one that is directed more towards service to others or to the Work, and not for any personal gain. Bennett assumes that this is what Gurdjieff meant by Intentional Suffering.

We’re two natured beings. Part animal and part angel. Neither one being complete. In the beginning when we think we know we need to recognize that we’re upside down and the certainty of our views need to be reassessed. We become completed beings through solar coating. Our own conscious efforts. We can become wise through lunar coating but to become Self Realized we must undergo through our own conscious efforts, solar coating. Solar Coating polishes off the angelic part of us. In becoming right side up the ego is metabolized by essence with the angel at the helm. Essential realization is just one of many phenomena that’s possible. If you start crying that’s fairly normal. Along with a recognition of a new vividness in perception. When "Normal" Traits are Narcissistic Phenomena Everyone knows that he has some measure of selfishness, self-reference, a need to be seen and appreciated, a deep wish for esteem and admiration from others, and some distortion in his self-concepts. Although we are accustomed to thinking of these traits as normal, they are in fact narcissistic phenomena. They are universal to all non-realized individuals, reflecting the fundamental narcissism that is the result of not knowing oneself at a deep level. This is what we call the “narcissism of every day life” or “fundamental narcissism.” The Point of Existence, pg. 26 Requirement for the Resolution of Fundamental Narcissism The issues of basic trust and the surrender that it engenders are not specific to the work on narcissism. However, some resolution of these issues is necessary for the surrender involved in slowing down and ceasing ego activity. The realization of this quality of love, which we call Living Daylight or Loving Light, resolves these issues. The presence of the Living Daylight helps us to let go of the empty shell, to allow the narcissistic wound and accept the narcissistic emptiness. This boundless, loving presence makes it easier for the self to relax and cease activity. One also comes to understand that it is this love which actually acts, and not the self. It is the melting action of this love that finally dissolves the ego activity. Our discussion of the quality of Living Daylight is necessarily short, but it illuminates the deep dynamics underlying the activity which perpetuates the identity structure. We can see why the resolution of fundamental narcissism can come about only with a deep spiritual orientation. Realization requires a fundamental surrender of the self. The Point of Existence, pg. 344 Perpetuation of Narcissism Our discussion and critique of the views of the self and narcissism in the theories of Kohut and other psychologists has established the following: 1. Viewing the depth of the self as primarily emotional fixates the self on a partial manifestation of its nature, and hence, perpetuates narcissism. 2. Identifying the self with the body also fixates the self on a partial manifestation of it, which both causes and is the outcome of fundamental narcissism. 3. Ego activity, which is the dynamic property of the center of the ego-self, perpetuates the disconnection of the self from the deeper truth of its Being, and hence, both causes and is caused by fundamental narcissism. 4. Identification with mental representations, or a psychic structure patterned by such representations, is the most fundamental cause of narcissistic disturbance. 5. Fundamental narcissism, the specific and most central manifestation of the disconnection from the essential core of the self, the presence of Being, underlies all other forms of narcissism. 6. Pathological narcissism is a distortion or an exaggeration of fundamental narcissism. 7. Fundamental narcissism is an intrinsic property of the ego-self, which is the self as experienced in the dimension of conventional experience. The Point of Existence, pg. 90 Characteristics of Fundamental Narcissism At all times, however, the characteristics of fundamental narcissism, the alienation from the core of the self, can be seen to underlie all these manifestations. The need for idealized and mirroring self-objects, exaggerated self-reference and entitlement, grandiosity, propensity towards slights and hurts, superficiality and fakeness, and the tendency towards narcissistic rage and devaluation, will always be discernable whenever she is dealing with narcissism. The Point of Existence, pg. 360 If I didn’t write something shocking in the beginning, very useful information would be overlooked. By many, it probably is anyway.

From Time to Time by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen If you could relive just one day of your life, which day would it be? You get to pick the day, and you decide how to relive it. You can keep it as it was then, or you can go back and make a few changes in your own actions. So what would it be for you? Would you like to share that special day of love with the love you lost? Would you go to an earlier period when you were much younger and free from present responsibilities? Would you like to go back in time and repair a day of regret, a day that stuck in the back of your mind for all these years? After you decide, I'd like you to examine your choice. Look at the particular day you picked. What does it say about who you are and what your longings are? What does it indicate about the mistakes you don't want to repeat? What does it show you about what's really important to you? What does it suggest about the path you have chosen?

The Celestine Prophecy series maybe,,, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Celestine_Prophecy