Zigzag Idiot

Our treasure is to found in Being “The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - from Cynthia Bourgeault's book- Centering Prayer doesn’t resemble what people think of as prayer. It’s a meditation practice that cultivates non-conceptual awareness. That’s why it’s often referred to as Centering Prayer meditation. I’ve shared this previously in this journal. I share it again just as food for thought and welcome any comments or questions. Narrative selfhood is created by the mind. The same mind that born of brain has blossomed a neocortex through our recent development (in evolutionary terms) and has arrived to plague us with various neurosis and constant internal dialogue. To rest in being or as Jesus put it, to “have your being” makes possible the felt experience of having inner quiet. From the Diamond Approach Glossary I picked some relevant excerpts to go along with this quote from C. Bourgeault. An Important Difference Between the Mind and Being These fantasies, beliefs and misinformation actually accompany almost all internalized object relations to some extent. Internalized object relations are rarely true representations of actual events or relationships. One’s memory traces include all kinds of ideas, fantasies and images that never had an objective reality. Another source of extraneous material comes from the psychic processes of organization and integration themselves. These processes modify the original object relations as more impressions are internalized. This is necessary for the integration of object relations units of various affect and content. This extra material, whether it is attached to actual memories of object relations or consists of pure fabrications, cannot be absorbed into Being. This is an important difference between the mind and Being. The mind can absorb and identify with any psychic material it believes to be true. It does not have the capacity, on its own, to discern what is objective truth and what is not. In other words, the mind can be deceived, even by itself. Being, on the other hand, is pure reality. It is the actual stuff and consciousness of truth, and cannot be deceived. It does not try not to be deceived; it is simply truth by its nature, a self-conscious medium made of pure sensitivity. Any falsehood, that is, anything which is not the objective truth of what actually happened in past interactions which produced a particular object relation, is felt in comparison to Being to be dull, gross and distasteful. When one is in contact with Being, these falsehoods are felt to be lifeless, thick and heavy veils in comparison to the luminosity of Being. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 163 Being is an Existence, a Suchness Being means no reaction, no mental activity that defines who or what one is. In fact, Being is not an activity at all; it is an existence, a suchness, a thereness, a Presence that is not doing anything to be there. Since Being is itself existence, it does not need the mind to be there. It is like a physical object, which does not need the activity of mind to exist. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 57 How Being Knows Itself Since Being is pure consciousness capable of direct awareness of itself, it does not require thinking and deduction for it to know itself. This is what most distinguishes it from the personality of the ego, which knows itself through reference to the past. One reason it is not easy to have a clear experience of Being is that the habit of ego is to know itself through reference to other perceptions, as in Descartes' "I think, therefore I am." Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 65 Simply Being is Just that:Being As we have seen, the incapacity to be authentically ourselves is the expression of not being able to simply be. Simply being is not a matter of being anything in particular; it is not a matter of being according to any view of ourselves, realistic or not. Simply being means the absence of any activity, inner or outer, to be ourselves. Simply being is just that: Being. The Point of Existence, pg. 81 The Presencing of Being The reason we have the capacity to experience Being is that the self is an actual ontological Presence, a presencing of Being, not simply a construct, and this Presence has the capacity to be self-aware. Thus for the self to become directly aware of the realm of Being is for it to directly experience its own nature. The Point of Existence, pg. 14 When One Experiences Oneself as Being, One is No Longer the Self-Image However, when one experiences oneself as Being, one is no longer the self-image. One’s sense of being a human individual is now based not on the internalized self-image, but on pure beingness, beyond all images of mind. This means that this new sense of oneself is not in relation to mother’s image. It is not dependent on past object relations, and is not a reliving of them. This is the autonomy of Being, that we discussed in detail in a previous chapter. The mother’s image is completely irrelevant to this sense of being oneself. It is in fact in a completely different dimension of experience. One is living on the Being level, while mother’s image and all mental representations are on the mind level. These representations are experienced as mere thoughts, concepts, images and of no fundamental reality. The disengagement from the mother in this experience is complete, utter. One feels no relation to the memories of mother or her image, in the sense that one’s sense of identity is completely independent from both. The experience of the mental representation of the mother is seen as completely alien to one’s experience of Being, as if from two different universes of experience. So the separation involved in the experience of Being is complete, total, and profound. Ego never feels such separation, regardless how separate and autonomous it is on the mental sphere. It is a different order of separation. Ego separation is like a distance on the surface of the earth; while Being separation is like going to another star system. In fact, it is more like dying. And many individuals respond to it as a kind of death. So now, either due to a remaining partial identification with ego or a late reversion to such identification, the ego reacts to this perception of such radical separation. This will naturally activate the already existing unresolved old conflicts about separation. However, even if ego development has been smooth and very successful, with little conflict around separation, there is bound to be a much greater pressure on one’s capacity for separation. The ego has never experienced such a measure of separation, and this naturally scares the hell out of it The fear of death or disintegration is one of the usual reactions among others . . . Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 218 More to be found here- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/being

That's Not Your Report Card by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen If you get your feelings hurt, in the back of your mind you may be thinking, "There must be something wrong with me." This single thought is at the root of most hurt feelings. Patricia and her husband, John, had a disagreement. Pat wanted to have a "talk" so they could get to the bottom of their conflict. But these talks are difficult for John and he tries to avoid them. When John tried to avoid this one, Pat took it personal and got her feelings hurt. Her thinking went something like this: "He knows that these talks help our relationship. So he doesn't care enough about our relationship to want it to grow. He must not care very much about me. If I were a better person, he'd care about me. There must be something wrong with me." Of course, Pat felt lots of hurt. She was "personalizing." She had temporarily forgotten that John's behavior is a reflection of who he is, and not a report card on her self.

Arnold Keyserling once said - “If you think that you know and that you’re ‘on the way’. You’re not ‘on the way’, whatsoever. If you don’t know whether or not you’re ‘on the way’, then that’s the best assurance that in fact, you are on the way.”

In the past shortly after coming down off a trip. Once with nn dmt and once with lsd, I was in a state where I thought My mind had been permanently damaged. In a way, close to the experience of having seen something hellish that I just couldn’t un-see. This turned out to be a false assumption. In fact, the turnaround that this wasn’t so was probably at the core of a deep felt experience of insight/healing. It’s one reason I strongly urge others not to make any big life decisions within 3 or 4 days of coming down off a trip because the horror can sometimes strangely morph into something deeply healing. If one gets completely locked down in fear after a trip and makes sweeping assertions to others about it, I see this as possibly a way of keeping a transformational healing at bay. I know as well the power of fear because it has dominated my experience more than once. It can be extremely tough to deal with. I felt the need to relate this because of it’s similarity with the topic here.

@Martynas777 Looks like good advice from @Ilan and @Anirban657 Another possibility to consider is you’re in a extended kundalini awakening. In a dark night episode years ago, and there was more than one, I stumbled into Jana Dixon’s book Kundalini of Biology. I’ll paste a possibly relevant excerpt from her work below. This might provide you with more resources if you think this may be a possibility. “Seems to me that after experiences of radical expansion and extreme euphoria, we tend to compare the difference between where we were in mystic revelry and the condition most of us live in—it is then that extreme cathartic anguish occurs as we mourn the sorry state of our collective human condition. This is one of the hyperbolic curves that occur during the first stages of the alchemy, especially if the realization is around ones family situation. After time I suppose our compassion takes on a lighter air as our own physicality loses its dross and heavy nature and our faith becomes unconditional...ie: detached from worldly appearances. The evolution of faith probably goes from blind faith, to informed faith, to unconditional faith. But it's doubtful that any of us can proceed in this development without periods of the obscuring or loss of faith, for we have to die to our former stage of faith to move onto the next. Usually what bought us to this impasse is the pull of the heart and psychic intuition and profound spiritual illuminations. So to be plunged into space where we can no longer rely on our conditioning, and Spiritual illumination seems to have left us can constitute an extended period of dark night--usually about 5 years as the body recovers from the extreme chemistry of the peak. This is the period in which spiritual practice, sangha and 'listening' to Spirit for understanding, meaning and direction is most important. We feel as sense of loss during the exhaustion phase when we have lost our "magic" and extrasensory abilities and are back down, perhaps even more mortal than we were prior to our awakening. We all have to come down. This loss feels like losing oneself, ones lover, ones muse, ones God. The difference is shocking and if we do not work manually to rejuice ourselves then life feels like it's not really worth living. What was given to us by Grace, must now be won by discipline and hard work.” From https://www.biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=Die-off.html This is a chapter from a free ebook.

@Goldzilla I agree in a roundabout way. The Teaching I informally follow places a good deal of importance on the belly center to be vitally connected with embodiment. @Zion If these excerpts have any appeal You might find the YouTube about Karlfried Graf Durkheim interesting. Distinguishing Physical Sensation from Essential Substance The capacity to sense oneself must become so refined that the individual can discriminate between physical sensation and the sensation of essential substance. It is not enough that the mind be quiet. It is also necessary for the body to be sensitive. The mind can be quiet while the body is deadened. The body has to be awakened so that the center of sensing, the belly center, can be activated. The belly center, or what Gurdjieff called the physical center, is the center of sensing for all parts of the body. Its deepest function is the subtle sensing, the sensing of essential presence, that the Sufis call the organ for touch. Touch is, in a sense, the most intimate of the physical senses. The skin must be directly against an object to touch it. There is no intermediary medium, like sound for hearing or light for seeing. So this subtle capacity is a very intimate one. Accurately speaking, it is sensing essence by being essence. It is the most direct way of perception. This capacity of touch, connected with the belly center, is very intimately connected with the embodiment of essence. It is the body center; its mode of perception is embodiment. Here, perception as touch, and being, are the same act. So this capacity is the most important one. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 130 Functioning of the Essential Self in the Belly Center Yes, usually the belly center has to do with embodiment, with the capacity to sense oneself. However, the belly center is also the will center. In a sense, the ultimate function of the will is to surrender to what happens, surrender to the now. And surrender to the now means not to hold on to something. The true function of the will is complete surrender to what’s happening without holding on. That is will. The essential self, like all essential aspects, can function in any of the subtle centers. When one is being the essential self its location is usually the heart center. However, when the essential self is functioning in relation to identifying or disidentifying from any content of experience, it becomes associated with the belly center. The essential self is more like a potential for experience, and it also manifests as a capacity for identification. One of the results of that capacity for identification is embodiment. Embodying something means you are identified with what’s happening. An essential state is present. You are embodying it if you are it. The true self has the capacity to identify with something you are experiencing, but it doesn’t have to. It has a choice; it has the freedom. Diamond Heart Book Three, pg. 79 From https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/belly-center

“The superego is uniquely cruel.” - Martin Butler

The Power of words Yogananda is such an enthusiastic character and his choice of words can really be rich. A sentence from chapter 4 - “ By this time my inward mirth had reached a zenith.” ? You just don’t hear that kind of expression very often. But this was close to one hundred years ago. From that time period I recall Teddy Roosevelt’s statement given to a ranch hand while rounding up cattle on his North Dakota ranch. Telling him to “hasten forward quickly” at a crucial point when the herd was about to get out of control. I shared these humorous remarks with some self consciousness thinking back to a recent video of Leo’s when he said not to share everything funny that you encounter. Just enjoy it for yourself,,, oh well, guess I flunked this time,,,, One reason I used to enjoy reading Carlos Castenada so much in spite of him being a trickster. He was a genius with language and metaphor. “Words are tremendously powerful and important and are the magical property of whoever has them. Sorcerers have a rule of thumb: they say that the deeper the assemblage point moves, the greater the feeling that one has knowledge and no words to explain it. Sometimes the assemblage point of average persons can move without a known cause and without their being aware of it, except that they become tongue-tied, confused, and evasive.” Terence McKenna claimed that the machine elves sang objects into existence and enthusiastically encouraged the psychonauts who encountered them to do the same. The most profound claims about the power of words in my opinion has come from The Oracle of the Cosmic way. That we create spells through using words that are out of harmony with the cosmos. That the demonic sphere of consciousness is composed of imps, demons, and dragons created by the false use of language and is so named because it fights the Cosmic Consciousness. The use of false words in describing the Cosmic reality leads to mistaken ideas and beliefs about the nature of the Cosmos. Because human thinking and imaging have the ability to either express the person’s inner truth ( which is in harmony with Cosmic truth) or to produce fantasies and myths (which happens when a person isolates from his feelings of inner truth), humans have the ability to create a false consciousness. The false thoughts and emotions coming from this false consciousness project themselves into reality in the form of projections, spells, and poison arrows. The product of the demonic sphere of consciousness is the parallel reality created by the collective ego, which can be described as the domain of suffering. Side note: To my knowledge I’ve never seen a dragon but possibly,,,, demons and imps. But the power of language in my life I’ve been witnessing closer since I began consulting the I CHING and the terms of projections, spells, and poison arrows have more of a reality in how they affect me and my life situations the more time passes and the more I work with the I CHING.

Greenskeepers got me tickled ,,,,

In a recent video Leo repeated an axiom that I’ve heard by Physician Maurice Nicoll (Fourth Way) and Ken Wilber as well. It goes - “Those that are higher in consciousness can see the lower in consciousness but the lower cannot see the higher.” I see this evidenced in Spiral Dynamics,,,,,

In Autobiography of a Yogi, Yogananda quoted his guru Sri Yukteswar concerning astral beings in chapter 18 and also chapter 43. How and where they exist and what happens in their existence. He described “ Man as an individualized soul is essentially causal bodied. He mentions that the body is a matrix of 35 ideas required by God as the basic or causal thought forces from which he later formed the subtle astral body of 19 elements and the gross physical body of 16 elements. He talks about the causal body as well and the process for becoming eternal. This aligns with Gurdjieff’s assertion that we’re not born with eternal souls as a given. We come to earth with our soul in an embryonic condition. There are requirements for the astral realm and then more requirements for the causal realm. I discovered Autobiograpy of a Yogi on YouTube yesterday and started listening to it. I ran across notes in the back of the book I had made which led me again to the above mentioned astral existence as stated by Sri Yukteswar.

One time I thought someone was interested in me. I was surprised because they were young, beautiful, and educated. I’m none of those. I thought they were out of my league to be honest and I told them so. But I continued to get mixed messages. Having never been really adept at taking social cues I waffled for a while then decided to ask them bluntly. She said no, it’s not you. It’s someone else. I said, Oh, okay.

I agree with those who say there is no end. A part of the path is the path of knowledge which eventually becomes the path of being. I would equate this place where it transitions as the threshold between tier one and tier to incorporate Spiral Dynamics ,,,, Doing the Work means integration and individuation which requires dissolving one’s shadow which is made up of psychological blind spots and areas of ignorance where we think we know but don’t and so stay closed down and not open and receptive. Purification of our emotions is often difficult and usually takes a bit of time. Doing this work increases consciousness which equates with a higher degree of being. With a higher degree of being comes understanding. Through this understanding we find peace and are then capable of real Love.

The interpretation that the second coming of Christ will be when the level/state of Christ Consciousness begins to sweep through the earthly population. This makes the most sense to me. Yogananda said, "In titling this work The Second Coming of Christ, I am not referring to a literal return of Jesus to earth. He came two thousand years ago and, after imparting a universal path to God's kingdom, was crucified and resurrected; his reappearance to the masses now is not necessary for the fulfillment of his teachings. What is necessary is for the cosmic wisdom and divine perception of Jesus to speak again through each one's own experience and understanding of the infinite Christ Consciousness that was incarnate in Jesus. That will be his true Second Coming." From Jim Marion’s book -Putting on the Mind of Christ

It takes the power of the red energy ?to successfully travel the path. Don’t feel guilty or bad about it. Try to channel it for useful purposes on your path. Sometimes we have to tell the inner critic as well as those who would manipulate us through shame or guilt to go eat shit and die. ? The Red Latifa Enables Defense Against the Superego Is relatively easy to see that much of our opaqueness, much of our lack of openness, much of our stuckness, is due to the attacks of the superego – ours and other people’s. These are the criticisms, the putdowns, the comparisons, the judgments, the devaluations, the blaming, the shaming, the rejection, and the hatred that the superego levels at you in all kinds of situations. Here the Red latifa can specifically be used in the service of inquiry, by giving us the strength to defend against the superego. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 279 From https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/red-latifa plus 3 other excerpts to be found. The Fullness of the Red Essence Arises in Many Flavors to Support the Openness of Our Inquiry The courage of the Red latifa is what we need in all these situations. This willingness to feel our fear and continue our inquiry appears as a natural resilience—nothing strange or unusual, just a natural sense of how we can experience ourselves. This strength that we feel in our hearts infuses the soul with a boldness that allows her to be open to seeing things she has never seen before—even things she considers to be threatening or terrifying. From this perspective, you can see that self-realization or spiritual maturity is not for the squeamish, and not for the dilettante. You need to be serious about the journey in the sense of being willing to risk your life for it. If you’re going to complain or retreat every time something difficult happens to you along the way, then you are interested in something else; you’re not a true spiritual inquirer. The path of inquiry is a path of challenge and adventure always leading us into the unknown. Such is the fullness of the Red Essence that it arises in many flavors to support the openness of our inquiry: strength, energy, expansion, and the capacities to discriminate and confront our experience as we discover what is true. When this fullness of flavors fills our heart, it gives us the courage to welcome whatever the adventure of life brings us. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 283 From https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/red-essenceaspect and more to be found if your curious.

Good job then! Hang in there and good luck.

To put things in context,,, only 2:28 in length A bit of redundancy below but some additional things worthy of considering,,,, 4:06 EMOTIONAL CENTRE WORK “Work on being, in regard to the Emotional Centre, demands therefore, among other things, efforts to observe and realize the existence of these emotions in oneself, noticing their origin, and the course they take, and the effects they give rise to. When we are properly con- scious of something in ourselves, we are on the way to changing it.” V. 1, p. 152 EMOTIONAL CENTRE WORK II “It is a good thing to observe the state of one’s Emotional Centre, to observe it in action—i.e., to observe how it mechanically reacts to external events and particularly other people. Here lies a great task, which is really a life task.” V. 3, p. 911 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS I “Negative emotions govern the world. They are extremely infectious. One man can make a thousand negative. One negative person can turn a house into a hell. This ability to affect others gives the negative person a sense of power...A discipline is needed in regard to negative emotions. It must begin with self-observation. You must know and acknowledge when you are negative. People will not do this...It is necessary to find and invent every method you can to prevent recurring events from making you negative.” V. 5, pp. 1709-10 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS II “Other emotions become dull, compared with the curious delights of being negative, such as planning revenges...Does a negative emo- tion give some kind of similar solace as does a drug? Could the world really do without its negative emotions? I do not think so myself. But in the Work we have to learn to do so...It is always worth while observing and tracing the subtle action of negative emotions in you. They are the source of so many things you do which you think you are doing for some other reason.” V. 5, pp. 1675-6 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS III “To let in without resistance and add fuel to and enjoy one’s negative emotions is to miss the mark that the Work has in view. It is to sin against the Work because the Work teaches that negative emotions prevent awakening.” V. 5, p. 1705 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IV “It is possible gradually to free oneself from these unnecessary negative emotions...He need never be at a loss, whatever his circumstances, for he will always know what he has to do in any situation—that is, not to express negative emotions, and then, to separate from them, and finally not to have them at all.” V. 3, pp. 911-2 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS V “All progress in emotional development is marked by a dislike of former emotions. The emotion, the feeling of dislike of jealousy (for example), the joy of being free from it and its evil prison-house, can become strong enough to master it. For you know that one emotion can only be conquered by another and stronger emotion. By itself the Intellectual Centre cannot do this. Reasoning may help, but it is not enough.” V. 4, p. 1499 TRANSFORMATION OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS “The observation of our negative states and the separation from them is one of the most important sides of practical work. The transforma- tion of negative emotions belongs to the Second Conscious Shock and here the whole Work comes in and the whole evaluation of it. You may be negative but you must feel that it is not you that is negative but It. This is the beginning of inner separation, of not identifying with negative states, of not identifying with oneself.” V. 2, p. 530 OBSERVING NEGATIVE ‘I’S “In the Work, the enjoyment of negative states must be observed sincerely, especially the secret enjoyment of them. The reason is that if a man enjoys being negative, in whatever forms, and they are legion, he can never separate from them. You cannot separate yourself from what you have a secret affection for.” V. 1, p. 214 WATCHING REACTIONS “Once you have realized that this reaction of yours is quite typical, and you have always had complaints in exactly the same way, it will give you a shock. It will startle you. You will see that it is this complaining itself that you have to notice in yourself and not what you imagine causes it. Next time that these complaining ‘I’s begin to resume their customary activity, the shock that you had may just be able to give you the emotional force to observe them before they start using your mouth, in your name. You will have the shock of remem- bering yourself.” V. 2, p. 449 From Maurice Nicoll’s Psychological Commentary’s I consider this as a part of Shadow work. It’s also called by some purification of the emotional center. It’s not that much about morals but very much related to conscience. Can you imagine not taking anything in a negative way by way of understanding?

The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz This is an easy, quick, enjoyable, read. It’s been several years since I read it. Actually I reread it 3 or 4 times. Also, A Course in Miracles if you’re not turned off by Christianity. Although very patriarchal in its wording. It is definitely not dogmatic or anything resembling fundamentalism. Long story short. A psychologist somewhat reluctantly channels Jesus Christ in the late 60’s for 5 or 6 years and of course writes it all down. It mirrors the New Testament in a number of ways. Makes use of modern language though, Such as the use of the word ‘ego’ and is quite abstract in general. There are several websites where you can read it for free online. I did a search using just the word Love on this ACIM website and got 1594 results from the text. Below is one of the results from the beginning of the text. https://acim.org/acim/text/introduction/en/s/51?wid=search&fwv=true&q=Love ⁶The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. ⁷It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. ⁸The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite. (ACIM, T-in.1:6-8)

In the above post where I expressed “mean people suck”. Well,,, I realized this morning that it was a form of expressing negative emotion. I think it’s possible to state that and it not be an expression of negative emotion. I think maybe it’s the felt experience inside oneself as it’s being said that defines whether or not it is an expression of negative emotion.

Mean people suck. Mean people suck. Mean people suck

Descriptive of the formatory apparatus. Mechanical thought by association - defines the thinking process by those who are ‘asleep’. https://digitalseance.wordpress.com/category/gurdjieff/ Deeper into the Work this is laid out for pondering,,,,,, The Jack of Diamonds is the very symbol of the formatory apparatus. The mechanical part of the intellectual center Jacks are the mechanical part of the functions.

There’s probably helpful insights to be gleaned from these YouTube’s but I’m curious why this sits in High Consciousness Resources,,,?

Circumstantial evidence that the vast majority of the U.S. population is fast asleep in the American dream.

@tsuki I like how you’re learning about and opening up the enneagram in ways that I never have. Biospheres symbiosis is a specific term I never encountered. Doing a google search and encountering a website containing many Forth Way concepts. It felt very synchronic to see on that webpage also a link to Jana Dixon’s Biology of Kundalini, http://biologyofkundalini.com/ After pondering a little more I wanted to equate Biospheric symbiosis with Gurdjieff’s descriptive term “Iraniranumange” from his book Beelzebub’s Tales to his Grandson. https://ae.gurdjieff.org.gr/terms/en50/0290.htm I appreciate you providing all this food for thought and hope my intellect is up to the task of interpreting and stepping down the information in the post you just made about the 64 hexagrams of the I CHING.