Zigzag Idiot

I agree with your statement here. I’m wondering if this self sabotaging phenomena is a characteristic of a personality type. I’m an enneatype 6 specifically a counterphobic 6. A trait which I feel is similar is one that was with me a good deal in childhood. Being that as soon as someone complimented my accomplishments, I would just go to pot. As the saying goes.@SLuxy I’m curious if you’ve enneatyped yourself? I don’t know. It was just a thought that this phenomena - As soon as things start to go well I quit. - Is hooked to a certain personality type. In hindsight I see it has been a pattern in my life to a degree.

Before the age of the internet and I was still a drinker of alcohol, life was hell and suffering. The radio stations that I listened to would play their golden oldies show with old ‘what’s his name’ on the weekend. He would talk about how things were groovy. It greatly diminished my estimation of that 1/2 to 1 generation older than me and caused me to perceive them as simple minded which produced a subtle form of boomerang guilt. Of the two or three radio stations that I listened to, invariably the one that played the golden oldies show would come through on Saturday and then the same phenomena would occur on Sunday. This always compounded the suffering and confusion which accompanied my hangovers. It made me want to claw my eyes out. This was before I had an appreciation for silence and always had to have the radio going so I could dissociate, at least to a small degree, from reality. Below is a sample of the songs that were played.

Maybe.ponder the following below and hold it loosely. If it’s not true for you, it’s not true. childhood conditioning = acquired conscience = herd mentality = group think and cultural approval = internal dialog = inner critic = confusion = the outside is inside = mind Wisdom born of suffering = Individuation = awakened conscience = the small still voice = inner truth = presence = inner quiet = clarity = the inside is outside = Being

I don’t know much about these Authors but you might find their books interesting James Redfield’s novels - (Metaphysical/ Spiritual) The Celestine Prophesy and The Tenth insight. Seems like there was a third in this series. Robert Pirsig’s (Philosophical) -Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and it’s sequel - Lila I liked Lila better

Dualistic thinking just perpetuates the problems.

@SriSriJustinBieber I agree With our current penal system inmates just become institutionalized. If someone goes in for much time at all there’s a good chance they will be more prone to criminal behavior when they get out. They’re branded as a convicted felon and scapegoated by society more often than not. Their prejudiced against when looking for a legitimate job or finding a place to rent. They’re branded with permanent blame which results in a permanent stain of guilt. The Prisons we currently have are crooked and are for profit not rehabilitation. The system we have Is broken and it needs to be fixed by applying some common sense measures and utilizing perhaps some S.D. tier 2 people ,,,, ?‍♂️ Just a thought,, I don’t deny that there is a small percentage who will not rehabilitate and are just pathological.

ACIM Review I’m thinking of organizing a reading or review (however you want to call it) for A Course In Miracles. This idea was suggested to me a while back from an Actualized.org member. I’ll create a journal specifically for it here in this section assuming it’s ok with @Leo Gura It’ll be set for a year schedule. I won’t be doing the workbook lessons but for those who want to join and read along, I recommend the workbook lessons for those who have never done the course. Either way it’s up to each individual to decide for themselves. Participation will be voluntary. Those who want to follow along silently are welcome to do so. Announcing this was spontaneous. I just wanted to give a heads up, throw out a rough guideline, and gauge interest. I welcome questions and suggestions,,,, https://acim.org/acim/en

Funny,,,, Yesterday in @mandyjw’s Journal I used Martin Butlers admission about being somewhat uncomfortable in front of the camera as reasoning for me not to push my comfort zone. Particularly in relation to expressing myself on video. Today, after 3 years of doing his podcast, he appears in front of the camera. Ha! Am I going to reverse my decision about letting myself off the hook for not working at being a good public speaker? ,,,, Not right now. It will be my decision and not connected with whatever Martin Butler does even though I have some respect for his perspectives.

,,,,,,Whoever is calm and sensible is insane You that come to birth and bring the mysteries your voice-thunder makes us very happy Roar, lion of the heart and tear me open I would love to kiss you The price of kissing is your life Now my loving is running toward my life shouting What a bargain, let's buy it,,,,

I found this pretty interesting. She discusses emotional purification in a round about way. The effects of low consciousness, negativity, etc.,, on the subtle body,,,, I really resonated with her statement that healing comes through understanding,,,

This reminds me of a practice that helps one with not identifying in which you agree with everybody for 1/2 of the day and then disagree with everyone for the other 1/2 of the day. Identifying completely with ones own point of view it seems to me is at the heart of most conflicts and arguments. Unfortunately I still observe this tendency in myself on occasion. How do you deal with people who are extremist on either side of the covid debate? Practice non-identifying or non-attachment ???‍♂️

I watched Scarface repeatedly as a teenager until I could say everyone’s lines as the movie played. Lord of the Rings has been a favorite for sure. The original Star Wars with its prequels and sequels really affected me. I was 10 years old when it came out. Lonesome Dove and Missouri Breaks and the original Rooster Cogburn with John Wayne and Glen Campbell are my favorite westerns. I don’t consider Little Big Man or Dances with Wolves ‘Westerns’. These two movies are in a league of their own. Little Big man delivers some profound truths but in a quirky way. I’ve hardly watched any movies in the last twenty years. Inception was good. What Dreams May Come, Life Is Beautiful, The Sixth Sense and Contact with Jodie Foster affected me deeply. Im going to make it a point to watch Sunshine and The Last Airbender from what y’all have said,,,,

Negative Merging https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/negative-merging There are some good excerpts here about negative merging. This phrase is used referring to the bond between mother and infant during the symbiotic phase. This phenomena can greatly affect a person throughout their life in interfering with the development of trust and having confidence. For those who find it of interest you may also like the excerpts about basic trust- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/basic-trust

This email showed up today I went ahead and registered. It’s free,,,, Dear David, The experience of nondual awareness can give us the sense that we are one with everything. Settling into this awareness, our familiar conceptual boundaries around self, other, and world dissolve into an unbounded unity. Since this often ushers in positive states, like peacefulness or belonging, many people strive for nondual experiences in their spiritual practice, and many spiritual teachers try to elicit them. Modern nondual teachings owe much to the Indian tradition of nonduality known as Advaita Vedanta, and this Saturday at 10am Pacific, A. H. Almaas, the founder of the Diamond Approach, will be offering a free lecture about some of the most widely known Vedantic teachings of our time, situating them in their Indian origins. He is aiming to help those interested in this tradition understand what the classical Vedantic teaching requires from students—something not often emphasized by Western teachers of nonduality. Register for 'Advaita Vedanta: Western Expressions' The lecture will last approximately 75 minutes, and will be followed by a question and comment period. This lecture is the fourth in a six-part series Almaas is giving this year, in which he is delving into some often-overlooked nuances in the works of some of the world’s highly regarded spiritual teachers and traditions. Read more about the full 2021 A.H. Almaas Lecture Series here and join us for his upcoming talk on Advaita Vedanta. I clicked on the link given which the contained the following - The Ridhwan Foundation, the home of the Diamond Approach teaching, is pleased to be offering the 2021 A. H. Almaas Lecture Series for free thanks to the generosity of a donor. All are welcome to attend at no charge.* We look forward to seeing you at the lecture! The Ridhwan Foundation P.S. After Saturday's lecture, we will be sharing a recording and handout with everyone who has registered. Even if you can’t attend live, registering will ensure you receive access to these resources. Advaita Vedanta: Western Expressions Date/Time: September 18, 10am-12:00pm Pacific Find your local time The first texts of Advaita Vedanta, a nondual teaching of Hinduism, date to 500 CE. Through the ages, it has remained a powerful force in India. The great 20th-century teacher Ramana Maharshi employed Vedantic methods of inquiry into the nature of the self. His spiritual path centered on the question, “Who am I?” Many streams of Advaita Vedanta came to the west from India. The teachings of Ramakrishna were brought to the west by Vivekananda. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi brought another lineage of both Vedanta and Advaita Vedanta westward. Some nondual teachers in the west trace their teachings back to Atmananda and his direct path. This transplanting of Indian spirituality onto new soil has led some people to wonder if something has been lost, or misconstrued, along the way. In this lecture, Almaas will explore some of the most widely known Vedantic teachings of our times and situate them within their Indian origins, to help those interested in the rich tradition of Advaita Vedanta to understand what the classical teaching requires from students—something that is not often emphasized by Western teachers of nonduality. The lecture will last approximately 75 minutes followed by a question and comment period. For those who may be interested this link should work which I just gathered from the Diamond Approach website. https://online.diamondapproach.org/a-h-almaas-lecture-series-or-ahls-wi21/

Years ago I bought this dvd and watched it many times. It has some morsels in it. I’ve never really read any of Jung’s books but have read those who have studied Jung. For those who don’t know much about this great pioneering psychologist this documentary should be of some help besides being quite interesting and somewhat entertaining.

@mandyjw I remember giving you encouragement to continue with making YouTube’s even though at the time you were saying things I didn’t really agree with. It was maybe a couple of years ago. One reason I did was because I saw in you a willingness to put yourself out there. That was a courageous willingness that I didn’t have. And still don’t really. I’ve let go of the inner criticism to push beyond my comfort zone in that regard though, and let go of the idea that I need to be a more polished speaker who is comfortable in front of the camera. Hearing Martin Butler confess his reluctance for being in front of the camera kind of made this notion click for me. So it’s definitely possible that I’m seen as a hypocrite instead of being comfortable with paradox but I care less of what others think of me as time goes on which is a huge improvement from being a lifelong people pleaser. I feel I’m speaking my inner truth when I claim that what’s true and good for me might not be true and good for you and vice versa. So seeing you continue with expressing your inner truth in your own way encourages me to continue expressing my inner truth in my own way. In case there are any Zen Devils or know-it-all’s reading this who feel compelled to lecture me regarding the idea of separate self, it should be known that I still carry a permit allowing me to use personal pronouns as freely as I choose even though technically or in appearance the “I” may be only an “i” and only one of the crew members aboard this ship of fools who fight over the helm and act as spokesperson when given a chance. As Leo said concerning some of his videos 2 or 3 years ago which I will paraphrase. ,,,,This doesn’t need to be taken literally. This is poetry. Abstraction abounds somewhat here,,,,,

Wisdom given to me years ago from a friend. i said i was infatuated with her. She made a solemn face and said, “That doesn’t last and it’s trouble.” A few days later i said i had fallen in love with her. She replied, “Yeah, whatever,,,,,,, I think that what you call love, though, is directed at what you think I am or maybe would wish me to be. A month or so passed. I looked into her eyes and said, “I Love You” She looked into my eyes and said, “It feels wonderful to be Loved” She taught me through example to never coherse an - ‘i love you too’ out of anyone.

If anyone is interested,,, Ralph Losey lays out a map of our reality where he combines an altered version of the Jungian functions which occur in time. Sensing, thinking, feeling, and willing ( willing instead of Jung’s intuition) combined with 3 spacial realms of body - soul - spirit Combine the 3x4 =12 Its got everything but the kitchen sink. No, I guess it’s got that too,,, https://schoolofwisdom.com/laws-of-wisdom/laws-of-human-consciousness/ George Carlin said that sometimes a little brain damage helps. I agree on that, maybe.

I’m not much of a psychopath. I’m just frenetic. Scored the same as Leo. You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 10.51% of people who have taken this test. You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 34.17% of people who have taken this test.

Hey mama, when you leave Don't leave a thing behind I don't want nothin' I can't use nothin' Take care into the hall And if you see my friends Tell them I'm fine Not using nothin' Almost burned out my eyes Threw my ears down to the floor I didn't see nothin' I didn't hear nothin' I stood there like a block of stone Knowin' all I had to know And nothin' more Man, that's nothin' As brothers our troubles are Locked in each others arms And you better pray They never find you Your back ain't strong enough For burdens doublefold They'd crush you down Down into nothin' Being born is going blind And buying down a thousand times To echoes strung On pure temptation Sorrow and solitude These are the precious things And the only words That are worth rememberin'

It Comes From Outer Space by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen The world is certainly not the same place I grew up in. The world is changing. It’s becoming more and more stressful, more pressure filled, more ill tempered, at times quite vicious. There are more of these kinds of outside influences on us than ever before. Not necessarily from the stars and planets, but definitely from out there in our world - our space. Fears, angers and frustrations are upon us. Money pressures, including an abundance of greed. Pressures to achieve. Pressures to acquire things. Attacks on our safety and our perceptions of security. These outside influences are upon all of us. However, some people are more affected by them than others are. Some people allow the outer pressures to penetrate their lives more than others do. Some allow other people and outside influences to crash through their personal boundaries. Some people even lay their boundaries down and invite the chaos into their lives. All of this makes right now an important time to reassess your boundaries. More than ever before, and especially because you have so little control over what happens out there, you have to exercise more control over your choices. What to let in and what not to let in? You have the responsibility to decide what and who you allow into your home, your personal space and your being. And then assert yourself. If you haven’t learned how to be assertive, seek out the teaching that you need.

Castaneda There is no completeness without sadness and longing, for without them there is no sobriety, no kindness. Wisdom without kindness and knowledge without sobriety are useless. Seeing is a peculiar feeling of knowing, of knowing something without a shadow of doubt. Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it--what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. Every effort should be made to eradicate self-importance from the lives of warriors. Without self-importance we are invulnerable. * * * Self-importance can't be fought with niceties. * * * Seers are divided into two categories. Those who are willing to exercise self-restraint and can channel their activities toward pragmatic goals, which would benefit other seers and man in general, and those who don't care about self-restraint or about any pragmatic goals. The latter have failed to resolve the problem of self-importance. Self-importance is not something simple and naive. On the one hand, it is the core of everything that is good in us, and on the other hand, the core of everything that is rotten. To get rid of the self-importance that is rotten requires a masterpiece of strategy. Almaas Global Disidentification The capacity for global disidentification allows us to be permanently in touch with our essential presence, although the identity and the self-representation remains in experience. This condition allows the experience of self-realization to arise, at least occasionally, when the identity relaxes to the extent of total absorption by (or into) essential presence. The more this capacity for global disidentification develops, the more frequent, and the deeper, are the experiences of self-realization. This development continues, in principle, until permanent, full self-realization, where total global disidentification coincides with complete absorption of the self-representation, and complete openness and flexibility of identity. Complete flexibility of identity raises the phenomenon of disidentification to a new level, beyond the normal egoic experience. This flexibility involves the dissolution of self-identity, or more accurately, the cessation of the activity of identifying. This condition, which occurs in isolated experiences of self-realization but is the permanent condition of full self-realization (enlightenment), is what is referred to by some traditions as “ego death” or “the death of the self.” In this state of complete annihilation of identity, one does not have identity in the usual sense; our identity is now with the presence of Being. In other words, our identity has shifted from the self-representation to Being. The Point of Existence, pg. 129

These women stood up against a regime that condoned rape and promoted genital mutilation performed on girls. But at the mention of matriarchy people start copping an attitude. I don’t get it. Tell me. What’s the secret of brokeback mountain and what does it have to do with the topic?

The first time I watched one of Leo’s videos l almost wrote him an email. In it I was going to say something like, Hey man, Don’t you realize that your vulgar language immediately alienates segments of the population. I was thinking of my mothers generation and worldview which I would categorize roughly as blue/ orange conservative and reserved,,, I’m glad I didn’t. Yesterday I posted the Jimmy Buffet song - Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw So yeah at times I see my own hypocrisy. On the other hand though I see how crucial it is to go against herd mentality and group think and so giving expression in a coarse manner is or can be crucial for individuation. The whole idea of pick up to me is distasteful and looks completely phony and shallow. Nothing more than how to manipulate women for my own selfish interests. But on the other hand doing pickup years ago would probably have helped me greatly because of my social awkwardness. So once again I see my own hypocrisy (maybe) limited or dualistic thinking (for sure). I feel this community can be very helpful for many kinds of people with different worldviews and lifestyles. One thing that would help greatly is greater leeway in allowing others to admit and express what their own shortcomings and vulnerabilities are or have been without getting a lecture from others about what is most obvious. To do so as a part of witnessing more fully what may have always been somewhat of a blind spot but one that is getting into the light and starting to heal. We don’t need obvious advice or to be lectured about what is obvious. To phrase it as my ex-brother-law would say- “It’s the don’t shit on a mad rattlesnake kind of advice.” Yes, people don’t need to be told that,,,, they already know. One other relative point that comes to mind that is more obvious to some than others. You can see how unhappy people lash out in subtle and not so subtle ways. Hurt people hurting other people,,,,, This can be quite difficult to work with. Personally I observe my tendency for reacting instead of consciously responding when others are habitually negative in their remarks. I’ve observed this in myself especially in the past. It’s the tendency to feed on the secret joy of being negative or sounding a sour note,,,schadenfreude. Those who claim that they never do it most likely are in denial. At some point in the near future I will probably witness this phenomena manifesting after it has occurred. Most all of us need to uncover and witness this phenomena and allow it to heal. This requires not succumbing to inner criticism or guilt. The insecure will often react with some form of one-up-manship. People need to be given some space. They don’t don’t need to be lectured about the obvious. Most all of us frequently make mistakes and also appear to contradict ourselves, but sometimes only in the appearance of things. The golden rule is a pretty good standard to go by.

Trivia Sometimes referred to as the three traditional ways The way of the monk - Emotion The way of the Yogi - Mind The way of the Fakir- Body https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fakir The Fourth Way - Way of the Householder Incorporates work with Emotion, Mind, and body. There are different varieties and lineages of Fourth Way groups. All do inquiry of some kind for the mind and emotions usually categorized as self observation and Self remembering as well as practices for becoming better grounded in the body. Bare bones fourth Way info.