Zigzag Idiot

I'm pondering if helping unfold the Science of Idiotism is a part of my life purpose. Q. What would that mean? A. To help Actualize a psychological path to awakening. Q. Why does the world need another? A. To make a way of liberation which can be utilized by Tramps, Lunatics and even Hasnamusses. Q. Metaphorically, what does the Science of Idiotism look like? A. If someone is on one of the historical paths of spirituality ascending the side of Octave of the Sun and they were to open a window and look out. The Science of Idiotism looks like a fire escape that runs parallel the whole way. Also, it is a path that's entered into like a trampoline. Q. God is Idiot 21 and Idiot 18 is as high as a human being can go, A perfect Idiot. Who are Idiots 19 and 20? A. Jesus and his sister. Q. Whats her name? A. Hang on, let me ask.,,,,,,, A. Thomas Q. Is that really true? A. For some Idiots, it is. Q. Some Pillars of the Gurdjieff Work say that this Teaching died when Gurdjieff died and it was not meant to be continued. How do you address this. A. Either in writing or in person. Q. You know what I mean,,,, A. J G Bennett and other early teachers of The Work encouraged thinking not from ones separate self but from ones Individuality. Then Bruno Martin produced a beautiful little book about it which revealed the organic properties of the Teaching. Q. How are you going to determine if this is your life purpose. A. Through this Actualization journal, I guess. Q. Do you consider yourself as a teacher or messenger? A. No, I'm just an Idiot.

Novels were included so I figured science fiction allegories ok. A One Thousand and One Words Review Of Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson by Will Mesa The purpose of Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson is stated by the author at the very beginning of his book: "To destroy, merciless, without any compromise whatsoever, in the mentation and feelings of the reader, the beliefs and views, by centuries rooted in him, about everything existing in the world." There is no question that the author, from his very first word, strives merciless in order to fulfill the purpose of his book. The Tales are the “Unofficial Story of All and Everything,” of God, Creation, the Universe, Earth and Man. Unofficial because it is not the account given to us by official history and the official philosophies, sciences and the arts; and official religion as well. It is the hidden story, the one rejected by the ancient Greek fishermen turned philosophers-scientists. The story is told by Beelzebub, a three-brained being from a planet close to the Center or Most Holy Sun Absolute, the chief Place of Residence of our ENDELESS CREATOR. Long time before the story actually begins, this Beelzebub is forced, because of a transgression of his youth, to live in exile in a remote corner of the Universe, our solar system. Instead of complaining and dwelling in self-pity, Beelzebub spends his thousands of years, (time in the story being relative to the place of birth of the observer), of exile learning about All and Everything, including the reason for his exile. Because of his meritorious work and indirect service to our UNI-BEING OMNI-BEING COMMON FATHER ENDELESS CREATOR, he is eventually pardoned and allowed to return home. He is now recognized in the whole Universe as a distinguished Sacred Individual and He is invited to a special conference in the solar system whose sun is the "Pole Star." While flying through space in route to the conference in the "transspace" ship Karnak, Beelzebub tells his twelve years old grandson Hassein about All and Everything he has learned during his years of exile. Of special interest to Hassein are those strange three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth, where Beelzebub spends great part of his exile. With time and attention, we the reader become Hassein. Everything we have heard of is elevated or brought in the story to unexpected levels. Entropy, we are told, is Time, the Merciless Heropass, the "Ideally-Unique-Subjective-Phenomenon." It is precisely because of Time's Subjective-Merciless action that the CREATOR has to create the present universe. In this way Entropy is vanquished, in such a way that even Maxwell's clever demons could not have remotely figured it out. The secret, we are told, is very simple: "The Trogoautoegocratic principle of existence of everything existing in the Universe by means of reciprocal feeding and maintaining each other's existence." This principle of existence our COMMON FATHER ALL-GRACIOUS LORD SOVEREING ENDLESS ENDLESSNESS CREATOR actualizes by altering the functioning of the two primordial sacred laws, making them the two fundamental laws of World-creation and World-maintenance: the Sacred-Heptaparaparshinokn and the Sacred-Triamazikamno. Hell is elevated to a state of voluntary suffering; suffering itself to a cosmic necessity arising from the operation of the Laws. Good and Evil are impersonal forces operating in conformity to World Laws. Man's fall is caused by the "unforseeingness of Most High Sacred Individuals." Chiefly among them are the Great Archangel Sakaki and the Chief-Common-Universal-Arch-Chemist-Physicist Angel Looisos. They are responsible for the implantation in Man's ancestors of an organ with very astonishing properties, among which that of making them to perceive reality topsy-turvy: Kundabuffer. Although Kundabuffer is later removed, the consequences of its maleficent properties are still with us. The story at times gets very provocative. We are told about "that completely formed Arch-Vainglorious Greek, the future Hasnamuss, Alexander of Macedonia." We learn that the Divine Teacher Sacred Individual Jesus Christ is resurrected not in His physical but in His Kesdjan body. Judas is not a traitor but the "most faithful and devoted" of all the disciples of Jesus Christ. Darwin, in the words of the very wise Mullah Nasser Eddin, "is very successful, though not without luck, in finding the authentic godmother of the incomparable Scheherazade on an old dunghill."Mesmer is a humble and honest learned being who, had he not been pecked to death by his contemporaries, might have saved Man from the consequences of Kundabuffer. Mendelejeff is "a contemporary comical earned chemist." Atlantis is a place of the highest learning. A university "is just that `hearth' on which everything acquired during decades and centuries by preceding beings is burned..." America is, during the present flow of Heropass, "the fundamental source of the issuing of new causes of abnormality." Among Americans is the largest percentage of beings with "possibilities for the acquisition of Being nearer to the normal Being of three-brained beings in general." And much more we are told. Man himself is elevated to a Being with the possibility of attaining Objective or Divine Reason and thus becoming a conscious laborer of our ALOVING ALMIGHTY COMMON FATHER ENDLESS ENDLESSNESS ETERNAL CREATOR ALL-MAINTAINER, a cell in GOD's Brain. But Man, we are told with great sadness and great sorrow, is now asleep to his innermost essence, to the Divine Impulse of Objective Conscience, the REPRESENTATIVE OF THE CREATOR in Man. He takes the ephemeral for the Real. He can no longer Love with the "Love of Consciousness," Believe with the "Faith of Consciousness," and Hope with the "Hope of Consciousness." This is "The Terror of the Situation." Consequently, Man can no longer fulfill his highest destiny. The chief particularity of his strange psyche is to periodically engage in the process of reciprocal destruction or war. Everything is elevated or brought to unexpected levels in the story; sometimes with great humor; all the time with great humanness. Even the concept of everything itself is elevated, becoming the "common-cosmic Ansanbaluiazar: Everything issuing from everything and again entering into everything." After having read the book three times, following the author's indications given in his Friendly Advice, one wonders: Have we been doped by the "official story of all and everything?"

I've lived on a ranch all my life, so I've ate my fair share. i used to love to eat steaks cooked rare but not anymore. I don't eat much beef anymore and if I do it has to be cooked thourghly or I don't digest it well. What is said by some about it causing a heavy vibration feels correct to me. Eating beef makes me feel heavy. I also believe it depends on the individual person and their collection of variables, worldview, occupation, emotional tuning, etc.,, I digest chicken pretty good. To me, in the 'spiritual' world, it's simply violence. But we live in this physical dimension that's an inherently violent place. To each, thier own. However they need to juggle it. -- Is basically how I feel about it.

"Get off your ass" Act. Don't talk about it. "Think about your death." “Death is the only wise advisor that we have. Whenever you feel, as you always do, that everything is going wrong and you're about to be annihilated, turn to your death and ask if that is so. Your death will tell you that you're wrong; that nothing really matters outside its touch. Your death will tell you, 'I haven't touched you yet.” ― Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan “A man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting. ” ― Carlos Castaneda “Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.” ― Carlos Castaneda, Fire from Within “The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive.” ― Carlos Castaneda “The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.” ― Carlos Castaneda 290 likes

@Arhattobe ? Thanks, I try to. But like most everyone else. Self deception in myself is often observed in hindsight.

@solr Your ability to be objective about yourself is a huge plus. I agree with a what you say but I think there are two sides to the coin. I think for some, especially more introverted types, isolation from the world and people is very necessary at some stages for integration and shadow work. @zambize ? I like you.

Me too! Im watching now. @ about 41:00 Leo mentions how people in rehab are really susceptible to cults. hmm. I've never been interested in the Gurdjieff Foundation. I don't think it's a cult. Its always seemed from the outside as a little bit Church of George, though ,,,,,,, George Gurdjieff. When I read that Red Hawk had given a talk at the Little Rock Foundation, it took me back a little. I'm a big fan of Red Hawk's books on Inquiry. I'm still not interested in the Foundation, though. Besides being a Zen Devil for a while I had a little bit of a Messiah complex or a taste of it, also. Kundabuffer Kundabuffer self deception Kundabuffer self deception consequences of Kundabuffer self deception

Woof! Condensed Brief history of my Actualization unfoldment. Sitting in the Nervous Hospital for alcoholism when I was nineteen. It was a dark night of the soul, kind of time. Suicidal, anxiety ridden, depressed, confused, shamed, etc. When the Dianetics commercial with the volcano ran in my room about two days in a row, I was BORN AGAIN! Growing up in the country, I never saw cable tv. to speak of. Just 1 CBS affiliate and 1 PBS station. Everything is grist for the mill in Inquiry. My ten years in Dianetics and Scientology were not wasted and actually laid the groundwork for Fourth Way inquiry. We're all a multiplicity. Some way more than others. Some Instinctive centered people embody whatever their doing. They can often have a natural ability for Immitating or mimicry. The other two types are the intellectual and emotional types. Im an instinctive centered person as typified in Fourth Way work. It gets confusing because instinctive center is made up of three subcenters which make very different looking instinctive types. Scientology called being in a "valence" that condition where we pretend to be someone else. It can be very subtle or it can be very obvious and embarrassing to everyone around. But only because mechanical behavior makes it that way. The 'actor' can awaken and then after his face cools off, things are better. Observing Valences in myself and also in others laid the groundwork for understanding in part, the reality of everyone being a multiplicity according to the Gurdjieff Work. The irony of Scientology,,,, I don't want to get into judgement over Scientology so I'm keeping it sparse. Also conceptualizing myself as a Thetan, (basically a soul, who possesses a body) put me in the direction of becoming the watcher or the witness that I read in Eckhart Tolle's PON later on which meshes with esoteric Christianity. This gets me to about 30 years old in late 90's. im going to add on in edits. Some time I will return to adolescent period and put together 'puzzle pieces' of my arrested psychological development. Edited 22 hours ago by Zigzag Idiot zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Condensed Brief history of my Actualization unfoldment,,, continued I happened to buy The Power Of Now right when it came out in 1999. I continually read and reread it. It took away a lot of my cynicism from being a disillusioned ex Scientologist. It caused me to look at Christianity in a new light as well as Buddhism. On the 'spiritual high' I got from the Power Of Now, I became more curious about Zen Buddhism and after digesting a couple of books, I was a Zen devil for a time. Yeah! In spite of my knowledge of "valences". Looking back now, that's the power of Kundabuffer. Didn't take long until life, herd of cattle, Mother Nature, relationships, etc.,,started handing my ass back to me. Around this time, I began getting drawn into the world of the Castaneda material and the ideas Shamanism / Sorcery.

2 videos. Peanut butter and jelly ?

A poem by Red Hawk Honesty If you want to see what real honesty is look no further than the dog. The dog doesn't give a damn for looking good but will hunch the leg of the Queen's mother If it feels like it. The dog doesn't care what the hell you think, it will lick its balls in the presence of the Pope If that is what it has a mind to do. The dog does not stand on position, power, wealth or fame of any kind. He will bite the rump of the Emperor if he tries to pick up the dog's food; the dog will lift its leg on the whitewall tire Of the Prime Minister's limousine or shit on the Dalai Lama's Prayer rug because he is a dog and that is what dogs do and in some secret uncorrupted part of the self we admire this honesty in dogs, because we see it is absent in ourselves and we know that such honesty comes with a terrible price in this world.

@Charlotte Doing inquiry, I've verified a phenomena that at first I thought odd. My worst monkey mind shows up with its greatest intensity when my body is healthy and thriving. Sometimes when my body becomes ill, it causes my mind to quieten down,,,, not an 'always phenomena' but often enough,,, like when a fever develops Hope you get well soon,,,

I'm going to have to get that book,,, It brings to mind when I read about a medium watching disincarnate beings who were inhabiting drunks at a bar. Most likely people who spent years with the routine of drinking at a bar everyday for years. They remained in a sense gravity bound,,,because they were still craving their drink and routine,,, Almaas - All Spiritual Work Would be Pointless if There Were Such a Thing as Ultimate Evil If your orientation is that you love truth so that it will change you and make you a happier person, your orientation is out of sync with how things objectively are; if you see reality as it is, you can’t help but love it. It follows, then, that objectively there is no evil. We see evil only when we perceive reality through a filter. A person who behaves in what we consider evil ways is a person acting through a distortion. In spiritual work, concepts of a devil, of dark forces, of some evil that exists on its own outside of the goodness of reality are considered manifestations of ignorance, both in terms of believing in such concepts and in terms of the manifestations attributed to such forces. All spiritual work would be pointless if there were such a thing as ultimate evil. Facets of Unity, pg. 215 Although I see the truth in what Almaas says, it doesn't mean we cannot create and perpetuate shadow and illusion. @cetus56 Yes! I agree very much!

What it implies is that a good many people who are walking around have only about 1/2 a soul. If they don't do any alchemy in life, consciously or unconsciously whatever piece of an Astral body they do possess will degenerate and not exist eternally. It's easy to see why this message isn't very popular,,, I don't know I try to follow Sadhguru's advice though and "not destroy, I do not know". I don't know feels like beginners mind.

This is a much shorter condensed version.

I am not a physical body. I am not even the astral body. I am that which arises out of the Astral (Kesdjan) body. or not,,, Another map to try on,,, The four bodies,,

Condensed Brief history of my Actualization unfoldment. Sitting in the Nervous Hospital for alcoholism when I was nineteen. It was a dark night of the soul, kind of time. Suicidal, anxiety ridden, depressed, confused, shamed, etc. When the Dianetics commercial with the volcano ran in my room about two days in a row, I was BORN AGAIN! Growing up in the country, I never saw cable tv. to speak of. Just 1 CBS affiliate and 1 PBS station. Everything is grist for the mill in Inquiry. My ten years in Dianetics and Scientology were not wasted and actually laid the groundwork for Fourth Way inquiry. We're all a multiplicity. Some way more than others. Some Instinctive centered people embody whatever their doing. They can often have a natural ability for Immitating or mimicry. The other two types are the intellectual and emotional types. Im an instinctive centered person as typified in Fourth Way work. It gets confusing because instinctive center is made up of three subcenters which make very different looking instinctive types. Scientology called being in a "valence" that condition where we pretend to be someone else. It can be very subtle or it can be very obvious and embarrassing to everyone around. But only because mechanical behavior makes it that way. The 'actor' can awaken and then after his face cools off, things are better. Observing Valences in myself and also in others laid the groundwork for understanding in part, the reality of everyone being a multiplicity according to the Gurdjieff Work. The irony of Scientology,,,, I don't want to get into judgement over Scientology so I'm keeping it sparse. Also conceptualizing myself as a Thetan, (basically a soul, who possesses a body) put me in the direction of becoming the watcher or the witness that I read in Eckhart Tolle's PON later on which meshes with esoteric Christianity. This gets me to about 30 years old in late 90's. im going to add on in edits. Some time I will return to adolescent period and put together 'puzzle pieces' of my arrested psychological development.

Learning and practicing Zazen laid a good foundation for my later Centering Prayer Meditation practice to rest in. Through synchronicity, this book led me into Contemplative Christianity and learning Centering Prayer.

Before I pretended to be a Contemplative Christian, I pretended to be a Zen Buddhist for 2-3 years and read most of Brad Warner's books. He approaches being a contemporary Zen Master in a Unique and ( I think) authentic way. Thought I would paste his site I just re found. http://hardcorezen.info/ He's considered a heretic of sorts by some in the Buddhist Community. He's doing podcasts now. I've never saw one. Any Zen Buddhists or Zen dabblers here? Want to share influences? I guess I was a dabbler for a while.

I think Claudio Naranjo proposed a third kind of type 6, The fanatic ,,, Counter phobics that we're ectomorph in body type. I'm a mesomorph but a cerebrotonic mesomorph. I may be what he was calling a fanatic or partly one,,,,? I can't find my copy of Naranjos book Character and Analysis. im going to go ahead and try to determine my MBTI sometime soon

LOVE by Arnold Keyserling The essential experience is and remains love. It can’t be induced by sensorial perception because in order for it to penetrate inwardly and emanate outwardly one must be ready for it. Love is the medium of life to be attained, to feel at home with it and through it to examine and govern all phenomena. Whoever opens himself up to the river of love loses his home: he exists in the Universe. Sadness and darkness are no less powerful than laughter and jesting. But in the river man is truly man, he is the master of himself, speaking with things without harming their sacred quality. Wait for the fulfillment of pleasure. This expectation alone produces this openness whereby love flows through all four gates and your center of being is included in the divine circular dance of happiness. Love reaches from the body to the last star, it is a bond which endures. One can never forsake love. Love is omnipresent, it is all consuming, it is all knowing. When there is a lack of awareness, love is destroyed. Love requires your complete participation. L O V E is fullness in equilibrium, letting go, always forgiving, giving, never confining, being aware, valuing that which is real once the dross has been burned away. Love conquers. It creates beautiful things, it is truthful, it exists in harmony with all beings, it protects and preserves values from alienation, it seeks nothing, yet finds all. Seek the dark love as the path to joy and light. Love means to accept the way things appear and let live. Love comes from the fullness of being. It is neither spiritual nor holy. It is God’s gift to reality. Remain true to this one command: love as a pledge of reality. The opposition of the lazy can only be broken with love. Love doesn’t mean grace any longer. It means being a part of the primal vibration of the universe. It is not something that you do, rather something that flows through you. You can’t cultivate love. Love cultivates you, once you open yourself up to it. It surrounds everything; without love there is no motion. SORROW by Arnold Keyserling No one would make the decisive step without sorrow and doubt. But taking that step has nothing to do with sadness. It is shed like the skin of a snake. The darkness is able to generate the right reason, one more difficult, but also better, than the next. But it will not always be so. Some day love will shine upon you. Then sorrow will simply be the undertone of the resulting harmony. The path is there from the very beginning. Sometimes it is easier, sometimes harder. But one thing is essential: the depth emerges from the strength of sorrow. Without sorrow there is no course; without the course the path is not passable. Mourn – not over the self – but over what is yet to be done. Each day brings further sorrows, and eventually you will reach the original cause of sorrow. Then you can finally begin the ascent back. Rejoice in your sorrow, for the darkness will not remain with you much longer.

In my own inquiry I discovered further depths of understanding the practicality in being able to put sensation into the body in order to get out of my head. For years, I just didn't get this thing of focusing attention on sensation in the body to quiet the mind. It sounded like 'Don't shit on a mad rattlesnake' kind of advice. Specifically, sensing the feet which is furthest removed from the head brain. There are a lot of nerve endings in the feet. Attention on physical sensation = less attention captured by the brain devoted to monkey mind. Hope this is some help,,,,

Thanks Took a look at Instinctual subtypes. sp/sx seem to apply. I googled Ayurveda and after brief study concluded in general that I'm a combination of Pitta and Vata. This typology seems vaguely related to ectomorph - mesomorph - endomorph

The Keyserling Wheel 'types' Combination of enneagram, Astrology and more I labeled a few of the descriptions to help orient direction The time planets took their significance from their spatial Zodiacal "Homes". Each time planet corresponded to a space Zodiac sign where it was said to be at home. This is shown on Keyserling's Wheel. The order differed between the traditions. But Keyserling has been able to harmonize these differences and synthesize all of the traditions. Now that we have knowledge of all of the planets, not just the five visible planets known to early Man, we arrive at the following time cycles. This shows the twelve basis types of human potential associated with each time cycle. The chart also shows the relation to the grammatical parts of speech. THE TWELVE BASIC HUMAN POTENTIALS The planets symbolize the twelve archetypal human capacities or potentials which can be realized in time. They are divided into subsets of nine and three. The twelve potentials of time follow the basic pattern of the mind. The one or two word "Meanings" given above for these concepts should be understood very broadly. The words are "cluster words" which represent a wide spectrum of related capacities which come within that basic field of consciousness. They are like the twelve sides of a diamond which are unified by the crystal center of pure light - the Awareness behind the diverse manifestations of the Self. The Keyserling Wheel 'types' Combination of enneagram, Astrology and more The meaning of the basic times can be learned by study with someone who has attained mastery. Even without direct contact with a teacher, much can be learned by introspection of the drives and personalities within yourself as described in the last Methods/Experiments section. The observations need to be guided by a rational understanding of the basic structure behind the personality types. The following is a summary by Losey of the nine-fold system of personality types with both positive and negative traits, plus the three historical types. This should be used as a starting point for understanding, not the gospel. HEAL/UNIFY: SPIRIT-FEELING. The basic meaning of conjunction - 1 - pertains to synthesis, to unification and healing. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Jupiter. It is the holistic capacity to fit everything together, to heal by reconciliation. It is the "both-and" counterpoint to "either-or" rational analysis. The complementary impulse is the fifth, to discern and judge. The personality type dominated by the conjunction category is known as the "Giver" or the "Helper", always trying to do good, to help or heal others. This personality type - with good and bad traits - is concerned, possessive, manipulative, demands affection and approval, and tries to become indispensable to others, but can also be genuinely caring, compassionate, empathetic, warm-hearted, generous, supportive, loving and even saintly. CREATE/PRODUCE: BODY-SENSING. The noun - 2 - symbolizes the basic drive to creativity and production, to the physical realization of ideas. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Venus. The complementary impulse is the seventh, the impulse to destroy what has already been created and to start something new. When this one impulse controls, an "Epicure" or "Generalist" type of personality results. This type can be sophisticated, hedonistic, extroversive, accomplished, and excitable. They tend to be dilettantes, producing superficially in many areas, concerned primarily with appearances, things and wealth. But they can also be multi-talented, real, practical, productive, prolific, sensitive, joyous, with an eye for beauty, good living and grace. Gemini- KNOW/UNDERSTAND: SPIRIT-THINKING. The verb - 3 - pertains to understanding, to relation of abstract concepts. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Uranus. Uranus is the desire to know, to understand. The complementary impulse is the twelfth, to be inspired, mentally moved directly, without any thought or analysis. The personality type is "the Thinker" or the distanced "Observer". This type can be the ivory-towered intellectual, the "know it all" expert, the recluse, who maintains an emotional distance both from others and himself. They tend to be analytic, eccentric, insightful and paranoid. They can also be truly knowledgeable, open-minded, with great genius, intelligence and original, comprehensive ideas. WISH/IMAGINE: SOUL-FEELING. The preposition - 4 - symbolizes imagination, the need to fantasize and dream. Its archetypal symbol or myth is the Moon. The complementary impulse is the tenth, hard-headed responsiveness and duty. This personality type is the "Tragic Romantic" or the far out "Artist". They are attracted to the unavailable ideals, the absent lover, the unattainable, rather than the here and now. They tend to be tragic, romantic, depressive, suicidal, individualistic, introverted, artistic and self-absorbed. They can be emotionally rich, sensitive, funny, intuitive, creative, in touch with their dreams, and of course, have a great imagination. Virgo-me basic gestalt,, ANALYZE/DISTINGUISH: SPIRIT-SENSING. The adjective - 5 - pertains to analysis, to distinguishing one from another. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Mercury. Mercury involves qualitative discernment and the impulse to judge and rate. It is the "either-or" dissective counterpoint to "both-and" synthesis. The complementary impulse is the first, healing synthesis. The personality type is called the "Status Seeker" or "Performer" or "Motivator". They can be narcissistic, deceptive and pretentious, more concerned with the appearances and trappings of success in their work than with real accomplishments. They are frequently self- assured and energetic, but often too quick to accept the easy answer to a problem, and try to succeed in work through narrow specialization, frequently failing to see the forest for the trees. They tend to be the "Type A" personalities who are ambitious, overly-competitive or "work-aholics". They can also be genuinely-productive, authentic, good motivators and promoters, efficient, knowledgeable and accepting of their limitations, with many outstanding inner qualities and good judgment. COMMUNICATE: SOUL-THINKING. The verb-person - 6 - stands for the drive to communicate, to explain, to relate to and with other people, and to improve yourself and others. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Neptune. It involves social intelligence, empathizing and dealing with people. Neptune also pertains to polarities: right-wrong, good-bad, rich-poor, innocent-guilty. The complementary impulse is the eleventh, the historical role of leading or following. When Neptune dominates, the personality type is the "Reformer" or the "Perfectionist". They tend to be overly-critical of themselves and others, idealistic, orderly, perfectionistic and intolerant. They think of themselves as superior and use the words "should" and "must" a lot, and can be self-righteous, opinionated, petty crusaders. They can also be conscientious, reasonable, principled, self-disciplined, with personal integrity and tolerance, astute insights, great communication skills, clarity, and a profound knowledge of self and others. Scorpio- FIGHT/INITIATE: BODY-FEELING. The pronoun - 7 - basically pertains to initiative, to fight and start something new. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Mars. It is initiative, the visceral drive to get up and go, the entrepreneurial spirit. The complementary impulse is the second - Venus - to complete something by creativity, the finishing touches of creative embellishment. The Mars personality type is called the "Boss". He or she can be strong, combative, loving to take charge and fight, to protect self and friends, and quick to anger. They want to lead, to start things up, sometimes dictatorially, but sometimes with heroic self-restraint, magnanimity and courage. They can be powerful, expansive, self-confident, decisive, authoritative and commanding, but also selfish, ruthless, violent and destructive. ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY/RESPOND: SOUL-SENSING. The adverb - 8 - pertains to organization, responsibility and duty; to assume responsibility for some social situation or group, a problem or opportunity, and to organize or direct it until conclusion. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Saturn. The drive arises out of circumstances created by others and constitutes a response to it. The complementary impulse is the fourth - Moon - imagination, the urge to dream, to visualize something new which has never been before, rather than to see something which already is and respond to it. The Saturn-dominated personality is called the "Loyalist" and can easily become either an establishment, traditionalist "organization man", or an anti-establishment, non-conformist "devils advocate", a rebel without a cause. They are likable, ingratiating, dependent, loyal to groups or a cause, and can be masochistic, doubtful, unsure, ambivalent, indecisive, authoritarian, bureaucratic, and overly-conformist. Trust and permanent solid relations with others are important. They can also be engaging, appealing, committed, reliable, trustworthy, dependable, cooperative, endearing, and of course, very responsive and responsible. Aquarius- INVENT/ACTUALIZE: BODY-THINKING. The verbal forms - 9 - pertains to the impulse to orchestrate, to plan, to invent, to engineer and actualize based upon a sense of what is possible. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Pluto. The complementary impulse is the tenth, the historical drive to individuality. The personality type is the "Mediator" or "Peacemaker", who tends to be easy going, calm, peaceful and reassuring. They can be passive, disengaged, repressed, unoriginal, ambivalent, overly self-effacing and accommodating, seeing all points of view but their own. But they can also be excellent negotiators, profoundly receptive, aware, supportive of others, good-natured, genuinely nice, unpretentious, patient, original, inventive, with autonomous self-reliance, self-assurance and equanimity. Leo- AFFIRM: BODY-WILLING. The statement - 10 - has a meaning which does not pertain to a personal impulse or personality. Like the 11th and 12th impulses it lies outside of the Enneagram. The archetypal symbol or myth of the tenth is Lucifer. Lucifer symbolizes the newly-liberated, collective historical drive for individual liberty, the affirmation of the rights of the individual. It concerns the mastery and affirmation of personal skills and of Ego. The complementary impulse is the ninth, Pluto, the drive to invent something new based upon the discoveries of others. LEAD: SOUL-WILLING. The sentence which orders - 11 - also has a meaning outside of individual personality, pertaining to a historical compulsion to lead society or to follow a leader, to obey. Its archetypal symbol or myth is the King. The complementary impulse is the sixth, Neptune, to relate and communicate with people, to persuade or be persuaded by reason, rather than to lead or follow. INSPIRE: SPIRIT-WILLING. The questioning sentence - 12 - symbolizes a state of inspiration, to inspire others or be inspired, in the context of an historical role. Its archetypal symbol or myth is the Queen. The complementary impulse is the third, Uranus, the drive to spiritual realization through understanding rather than inspiration. AWARENESS: ESSENCE. Symbolized by the Sun, Awareness is not really an impulse or part of speech. The Sun symbolizes the awareness behind all of the other impulses, the essence behind and linking the different personalities. It stands for the Higher Self beyond the Ego, a state of higher consciousness, of light. The pure Awareness pulls together and integrates all of the diverse aspects of our Self into a cohesive whole. We first become aware of the Higher Self in peak experiences, and then eventually by mastery of all of the other impulses, we start to live in the light and a higher pattern emerges. from http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/

I'm still trying to give up cynicism. It's difficult because cynical remarks are often taken to be cool. I want to be cool. I want to be liked. I saw the price of it though and I'm grateful for that. It trashes my inner world. Being cynical. That's why I have to keep trying to let the last of it go. When my inner world is trashed with negativity, the plague of guilt is on its way. Giving up cynicism doesn't mean I have to become a complete square. I think I read where people in Red level of SD simply don't feel guilt. I consider A Course In Miracles as a part of my path of actualization. Boil ACIM down to one thing - FORGIVENESS. You can't really forgive someone and still hold a grudge. I've tried in the past. Forgiveness is neither sexy or cool and so I've had to work at not giving a shit what people think. I can curse and still not be expressing negative emotion. We gots to have these fucking adverbs and adjectives to relate a certain tone, sometimes. I don't have to be a square. A Course in Miracles encourages teaching to learn. That's one reason I sound like I'm often proselytizing and a lot of the time I probably am, in a way. But for the most part I'm rattling on so I can integrate what I've read in a more complete way for myself. The majority of inquiry and inner work is about purifying the emotional center. Same as ACIM. We don't have to take things in a negative way. That's a huge Realization. Maurice Nicoll said we have a right not to be negative. He didn't say that we have no right to be negative. It a great big difference. ,,,,, We have a right not to be negative. Purifying the emotional center gives one a teflon coat. Ive found it good to not get to lengthy in explaining myself because explaining myself leads quickly to the neurotic condition of inner considering. When that happens, I'm just kinda fucked. At least temporarily. So,,, that is all.

I heard a Buddhist say understanding silence is wisdom I go to the center of my every-which-way-ness it is quiet and still Being no i I know Being no I I know Being understanding stillness Understanding being stillness Stillness Understanding Being