Zigzag Idiot

Working to maintain a space of inner quiet that's not affected by the world. How often do we let thoughts trigger us and ruin our day? Do you have a mind or does your mind have you? Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683. Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time.

"We are myriad minded", says Jean. As many know she was involved in research with LSD years ago. What an incredible life she's lived,,,

Thanks for sharing. I bookmarked the site to return to when I have more time.

I didn't mean to be downing the forum or passionate people, either. Forum has many good aspects and ways to engage ourselves. Ways to grow,,,Especially this one with its focus and high level of activity 24/7. We can consciously wear a passionate mask. Having Your Will Completely Will involves surrender to the truth, which is the effortless being of what is. Will is actually effortless, complete spontaneity, complete letting go. It is surrender. People think that to surrender is to let go of your will. This is not true. To surrender is to have your will completely, objectively. Diamond Heart Book Two, pg. 114

Nonduality for Idiots 1+1= 2 Duality 2+1= 3 Nonduality Working disembodied out of only the emotional and intellectual centers perpetuates dualistic thinking. 'Being stuck in our head'. By grounding, thru sensation into the Physical body we can upgrade our system from an egoic operating system to a nondual operating system. In purifying the emotional center one begins to see with "the eye of the heart", as it's called when it begins to be used as an organ for spiritual perception. Our intuitive capacities begin to awaken. Negativity that is suppressed in the subconscious messes up our metaphysical transmitter. Until I clean a lot of the garbage out of the basement I'm going to keep on having flies. It can't be peaceful and quiet inside if there are thought/flies buzzing around everywhere. Cynthia Bourgeault gets credit for the metaphors.

Some here are working with focus mostly on the body. Their center of gravity is manifesting in their jack of spades and clubs and queen spades and clubs. Some here are working more from a need to heal their suffering of emotions or lack of fulfillment. They are in their jack of hearts and Queen of hearts. If they are able to do this through all their moods they are beginning to access their Kings. The intellectual parts of all the centers. Some are passionate about addressing work on self and inquiry from intellectual analysis. They're in their Queen of Diamonds. The emotional part of the intellectual center. Those who can do this with steady intention and impartiality are accessing their Kings of Diamonds and Hearts. Emoting is sleep. When a topic in the forum becomes hot, people are feeding off that energy. It can be a worthy or a frivolous idea. It doesn't matter. I can name it and yet I still do it, so I'm not excluding myself. Most are completely asleep to this notion. But for those of you reading this who has just had 'the light come on'. ,,, "Welcome to the club". Your now going to fall asleep again and thousands of times more in the next few years. If you really try to point out the worthlessness of expressing negative emotions to people who are not ready, they will hate on you. We don't have to take things in a negative way. But we do and the degree to which that happens determines how miserable we become in our emotional world. Trying to act like a Saint is ignorant and self defeating unless it's a part of a specific practice with set end points. It's ok to feel that horrible stuff. We need to. But if we act on it, in our discomfort, we only start adding to our misery. It takes a while to realize this then it takes more time in getting used to working on oneself,,, doing Inquiry. Then it takes longer still to begin to notice the slow unfoldment of a Transformation. We can't change because just changing never lasts. We have to transform. Or go through Transformation. This is about stages. We can experience a higher state of Consciousness any time. They never last.

It happens to everyone. To put it in first person- 1 my mind has me instead of me having and using the mind. 2 What I resist,,,persists 3 I can never go directly for happiness or maintain happiness. I can only process the shadow, as I'm able to and sit with negativity that arises, just observing it. Then always return to the practices that help quieten the mind. Trying to produce or force happiness is really just a form of repression. Cultivating inner quiet. Sitting with and observing negativity without expressing it. Forgiving oneself and letting go of self criticism when it shows up. Then happiness can come upon us. But we can't really go straight after it as a goal.

I watched the new video. Also watched this one: I was tickled to encounter more Ouspensky. Things I wrote in my very first post on 12/12/18 apply here- "Also, we don't have to be negative. The practice of not expressing negative emotions has shown me the existence of my own spiritual sleep. We wake up and although might never sleep as deeply again, spiritually, we take naps as E.J. Gold put it. It's very difficult sometimes to just simply feel , without repressing negative emotions and not give expression to them. It pays out big dividends in 'spiritual coin' though. Remind me of this, if, in later post, I go off on a angry emotional rant." In childhood, the closer I got to puberty, the more I became like a little Ouspensky,,, a responsible little old man. All that went out the window in adolescence. This somber seriousness is both in my conditioned ego/personality as it is in my partial Saturnine essence. So a part of my inquiry,,,especially on Monday mornings is - why so serious? Fear, negativity, false seriousness should trigger the little alarm bell,,, that I'm 'napping', to quote E.J. Gold again. So,,, Why so serious?

Moving this close to may add some more. 9/21 2:40 am The following condensed articulation is hard to beat concerning work on self. From ego to essential Realization and then the development of the pearl using enneagram for a map for ones realization and integration of different energies,,,, The ninefold structure can also be used as a key to understanding personality types. When a person emphasizes a particular potential, they naturally have a personality type associated with that planet. This system of personality analysis works because most successful people are at any one time dominated by one or two of the nine basic impulses to the exclusion of most of the others. They are successful because they at least have some personality of their own, even if only one dimensional. The majority of people today never develop any personality of their own at all. Instead, they have a false personality imposed on them from their parents, friends, job or society. The false personality has no connection with any of their innate capacities. For this reason it is usually weak, and the person has little energy or vitality. Only personality which is in connection with a person's essence - their inner sun - can vitalize. The false, unconnected personalities only block energy. They act as a negative mask to hide true potential, instead of express it. Such lifeless personalities should be dropped and replaced by impulses and roles which you choose. They should be replaced by personalities that are more in accord with your essence and true potential. In the Gurdjieff tradition this process of liberation from false personalities is called "waking up". It is accomplished in part through a process called "self remembering" where you observe the false personalities in action. If you are lucky enough to wake up and tap your inner essence and develop a true personality, you are on your way. But this is only the beginning, and many fall prey to the danger at this initial stage of development. They fall into the trap of domination by the first strong energy they develop. They may improve the quality of that type, and become more mature, but they do not fully grow or diversify. They do not become a real human. A real human awakens to all nine time forms. Instead, they become freakish, unidimensional beings. Strong perhaps, in their own little area, but narrow and imbalanced. They are only partially awake. They have knowledge and mastery of only one of the many forms of time. Their other potentials remain undeveloped, dormant or childlike. You avoid this danger by using your beginning personality as a springboard to master all of the others. Aware of the trap, you take steps to avoid stagnation in one type of time. You seek out continual change and flowing. You look for new ways to be, new roles in accord with your essence. You strive for multi-dimensionality. Normal "fully actualizing" people let the false personalities die. They awaken to all of the forms of time. They are able to grow and change personality types. They can diversify their character without identification to any one impulse. They learn and emphasize other potentials. They are not satisfied with the "one of nine" that is naturally the strongest for them. They go beyond, and add to the first real personality they happen to awaken. The goal is to divest yourself of all false personalities. To instead become a "well rounded" personality. Such a being is connected with all of their essence. They are filled with many different kinds of energy. Such a whole person has learned and mastered all of the archetypal capacities possible in time. They can adopt or "put on" one of the personalities like a mask as the occasion requires. The particular mask worn at any one time allows the inner essence to shine through, with color and style. The Master is not attached to any of their twelve sides. They do not identify with the various personality masks used to express their essence. Instead, they identify with the Essence of Being, the white light Sun - Zero dimension Awareness - behind all personalities. They are centered. They are like an actor with a role. They use the masks or personalities as a tool to interact with other beings. When the Ego and the Self are in this type of healthy relationship, the positive traits of a personality type naturally dominate over the negative. Time is filled with meaning and diversity. In these circumstances the perception of time can change dramatically. It intensifies and grows in duration. Ten minutes of peak time can seem like hours. Conversely, hours of intensity in a flow experience can pass in what seems like no time at all. from: http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/

@bejapuskas Abandoning concepts can be sticky business. We can't escape the mind with the mind. Everyone just needs their space sometimes to let things unfold and work themselves out,,, Leo wasn't fucking with her mind. Charlotte's just fine.

Great link and article containing other links! I'm enjoying. Thanks ?

Crickets are loud

12 minutes. Hans is entertaining to listen to. He has an interesting take which I think meshes with everything posted. Not that it matters. Just another interesting perspective.

From the writings of Paramahansa Yogananda: “Even though you may be able to do everything else but meditate, you will never find joy to equal that which comes when the thoughts are silent and your mind is tuned to the peace of God.” I read Yoganandas Autobiography of a Yogi a couple of years ago. He practiced Kriya yoga. He was a mystic who said the second coming of Christ would be the spread of Christ Consciousness. Jim Marion wrote Putting On The Mind Of Christ. Ken Wilbur wrote the forward.

To me this one goes peanut butter and jelly with the Self deception videos and Mankind is the bullshitting animal video. In my study of A Course in Miracles the idea of forgiveness and all it's many aspects Seems to be the #1 theme. This idea of distraction though is in the top 10 themes in ACIM. Dissociation is the term used in ACIM, again and again,,,,same thing as the idea of keeping ourselves distracted so we don't have to 'deal with ourselves' or to feel the every-which-way-ness of our Conscience.

@positivevibes you're helping me to see myself like you wouldn't believe!?

It was a relief to me in reading that basically,,,we are all schizoid. Or rather the personality itself is constructed on it. Basically, the personality/ego is a barrier to the realization of ones being. Sense of Separateness of Ego is Schizoid The truth is that the sense of separateness of ego is a schizoid phenomenon, but it is usually experienced in a mild form. The ego boundaries are a manifestation of the schizoid sector of the personality, of which no ego is devoid. The schizoid experience becomes intense and more manifest, and therefore more visible, when this separateness is challenged. The separateness of ego individuality is the outward, usually acceptable, manifestation of ego’s schizoid characteristics. The markedly schizoid character is basically a personality crystallized around this sector of the ego. In the process of essential realization, the issue of ego boundaries is resolved by dealing with the schizoid sector in one's personality, among other things. It is one of the most painful to deal with, but not necessarily the most subtle. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 398 The Deep Fear of Every Ego We see, however, that not only for the schizoid character, but for every ego, there is a deep fear of being completely devoured and absorbed. This is not due only to difficult early object relations, as in the etiology of the schizoid character, but due to the vulnerability of primitive ego structures in the face of Being. This must be the case at the time in ego development when internalizations are just beginning to be set up. The identification with Being is still strong at this time, and these early and primitive ego structures are probably easily absorbed at times of complete letting go and relaxation. It is reasonable to assume that at such times the primitive infantile ego must experience repeated absorptions. This in turn assumes that the nondifferentiated aspect of Pure Being is part of the undifferentiated matrix of the neonate; but this seems like a most reasonable assumption in view of the universal experience of those who experience this realm of Being, that it was “always already there.” It is understandable that at such times the ego will first resort to schizoid defenses, especially those of withdrawal and isolation, not from object relations, but from the omnipresent sense of Being. This makes the schizoid sector of the personality the deepest core of ego structure. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 452 excerpt from good article ,,,,,,,,,,,There exists a group of psychotherapists, in some of the more liberal population centers around the country and the world, who see their orientation not as the treatment of mental disorder but as the helping with personal growth and development. This has largely developed from the late sixties and early seventies, when modalities like gestalt therapy, encounter, body works of various kinds, and various methods aimed at the development of the human personal potential became popular in certain areas, and amongst a certain group of therapists who were not contented with the traditional role of therapy as the treatment of mental disorder. This has become what is called now the growth movement or orientation, sometimes mixed with new age elements. This orientation has been going through a development in the last few years, mostly under the pressure of clients needing more focused psychotherapy, dealing with disruptions due to abuse, trauma, addictions, stress syndromes, and various kinds of ego weaknesses as they manifest in stressful life circumstances. The result is that most of the growth oriented therapists are focusing more on these needs, namely, on treating mental disorder, but with a growth orientation. https://www.diamondapproach.org/public-page/spiritual-work-and-psychotherapy very important,,, smile relax crack jokes when possible

Deeper Possibilities that Spring from the Ocean of Consciousness Empathy is generally seen as the ability to know another’s point of view, the ability to relate to what your friend is saying, feeling, or thinking because you have had the experience and can call it up in your memory. It stimulates the sense of knowing from your own experience, which you can then apply to how another person might be feeling. But empathy can go very, very deep, much deeper than this psychological way of knowing the other’s experience. We can actually feel where someone is without having had their experience, because our consciousness is ultimately one ocean. A wave in the ocean is not separate from the other waves. We can feel the waves of others and the particular states of those around us as our sensitivity develops. It has been confirmed through neuroscientific experiments that with empathy we can actually experience another person’s pain through the activity of mirroring neurons. Here, we are discussing empathy in a larger sphere, as including all states and feelings of the other, not just their pain. The Power of Divine Eros, pg. 118 ?

Just finished watching Mooji on Christ Consciousness. "There are no opinions here." "Only here, you cannot argue." "Your own heart is its temple." "It is not sterile here." "Imagination is not required." "There is nothing to work out." "There is nothing to heal." "Nothing needs to be done." "It remains unaffected by the body mind." "You can not find it by being super good." "You can not lose it by being super bad." "You can not keep it by any practice." "You can not be you there, the you of this world."

@cetus56 Thanks! I'll watch,,, Here's another good one I just found. He discusses our childhood and cultural conditioning.

I can understand why the Work that has to be done on oneself after some time in Inquiry will look different for everyone. In part because of the different nature of essence types. Over the years I've seen several webpages about essence types come and go. Whats below is from one that is around at present but I disagree with their designation of an "earth" type and the placement or influence of the Solar type. The information on the mars, jovial, Saturn, lunar, Venus and Mercury types correlates with what I've leaned. Im the combined type of Saturn - Mars. Because these are primal energies, they cover not only our personalities in their essence, but also our physical looks, our style of action and our function in life. Each type is associated with the predominance of one or other of the endocrine glands. Pure Types There is a basis of eight energy types, seven of which gave birth to the names of the days of the week. The eighth is Earth. These eight types, illustrated in Gallery 1, are LUNAR Solitary, introspective, detail-minded VENUS Languid, nurturing, sociable MERCURY Perceptive, quick, articulate SATURN Patient, rational, authoritative MARS Goal-oriented, forthright, combative JOVIAL Benevolent, cultured, epicurean SOLAR Radiant, serene, idealistic EARTH Robust, practical, realistic from: http://destinyclemens.com/Destinyclemens/Body_Types.html

Another good idea and headstart I got out of Scientology was viewing the body as an "it" instead of "l". Which is pretty much how I see it today. This was through most of my twentys and I was really going thru the shit. To try to meet my responsibilities I would sometimes think to myself,,,,,Ok, time to make the body get out of bed ,,,, or time to make the body go run a chainsaw for a couple of hours,,,etc. There was a spell before this when I was 19-21 that I was in a deep chronic depression mixed with anxiety and episodes of 'panic attacks'. Rarely left my parents house. Could barely function in society/public. What eventually got me out of this was getting outdoors and then eventually taking on some small work projects. If I had had this forum, no doubt I would have done other things but this was in the late 80's and early 90's. I'm 51 now. That picture up in the corner was taken about 1969-70. There were a few bright spots, but my 20's just pretty much sucked. I went from being an addicted confused mess to joining a cult. Jeez,,,,

In just the short time that I've been here I've come to appreciate your expression of being. I suspect you of being a Mercury (thyroid) body or essence type. Mercurials, it has been said, have a more difficult time in working on themselves than most of the other essence types. I'm not going to say the result of the difficulty because this note could then take on a seemingly harsh tone. Which is definitely not needed now. But the cause of this hypothetical specific difficulty is that Mercury types are the quickest thinkers and the most perceptive of all the types. They see all the little details that others overlook. That's both the blessing and the curse of it,,,,, Good luck to you but please feel free enough inside yourself to change your mind and start posting as usual,,,, tomorrow or next week, next month or perhaps even later today. Metanoia is reversal or putting on a new mind or transformative change of heart. Freedom to spontaneously pick up and use the crutch again if needed without excessive inner considering. Good luck,,,