Zigzag Idiot

Reminds me of a saying of Red Hawk's - "A relaxed body is an honest body". This is in regards to Self Inquiry and the practice of putting attention on sensations in the body to help maintain a non-reactive (non-violent) witnessing awareness. Relaxed with whole body awareness and inner quiet vs being "stuck in one's head" with neurotic, uncontrolled, discursive thoughts.

Who is the Hanged Man? Is he a saint, a righteous man. an initiate? He can certainly be regarded as all three, for all three have in common that their will is an organ of heaven, but what he is most especially, what he represents individually, is neither sanctity, nor righteousness, nor initiation, but something which is their synthesis. The Hanged Man is the eternal Job, tried and tested from century to century, who represents humanity towards God and God towards hu- manity. The Hanged Man is the truly human man and his lot is a truly human one. The Hanged Man is the representative of humanity who is found between two kingdoms— that of this world and that of heaven. For that which is truly human in man and in humanity is the Hanged Man. And it is the Hanged Man who said, thousands of years ago: Has not man a hard destiny upon earth, and are not his days like the days of a hireling? Like a slave who longs for the shadow, and like a hireling who looks for his wages. .. Oh that my words were written! Oh that they were inscribed in a book! Oh that with an iron pen and lead they were graven in the rock for ever! My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. . For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, then from my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see on my side, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me in expectation'. (Job vii, 1-2; xix, 23-24; xxiii, 11; xix, 25-27) This is the discourse of the Hanged Man across the centuries. From MEDITATIONS on the TAROT

Our emotions are quicker than our deliberate thinking and that can be dangerous in being impulsive. I've been close to suicide in the past and the idea of possibly being worse off in the lower Astral realms was a factor in my not going through with it. I'm glad I didn't. I don't know any of your story or your trials but life is precious. Hope you can unwind some of your dilemma and experience something that gives you some hope or peace.

@Gog My horseshoes and hand grenade style of paraphrasing and generalizing. "Book of Changes" comes from somewhere,,,? I also understand Confucius had a part in adding to the text way back when. This is one of my sources for others who want to dig a little. http://www.ichingwisdom.com/i-ching/richard-wilhelm/ Thanks for the finer distinctions.

Leo mentioned synchronicity near the end of his last video. A lot of people overlook the fact that Carl Jung coined the phrase "synchronicity" in large part due to being introduced to the ICHING and its influence on him. A friend of his, Richard Wilhelm is really the one responsible for introducing the ICHING to the west with his translation of it into German. Jung actually wrote the forward to this edition which is still considered by most to be the best translated version of the ICHING to date. I think the world will eventually discover Carol Anthony and Hanna Moog's recent translation and upgrade of the ICHING in their new edition - The Oracle Of The Cosmic Way, and they will eventually get their due. Just my opinion though. In part Jung articulated that it was constrained chance which allowed synchronicity and the "mechanics" of the ICHING to work as it did. This morning I got hexagram 54, lines 2 and 6 changing to a second hexagram of 51. A tiny fraction from hexagram 54 line 6 this morning: "The woman holds the basket, but there are no fruits in it. The man stabs the goat, but no blood flows. Nothing that acts to further." Sooo, what the hell does that mean? ? Its symptomatic of the usual cryptic metaphors handed down from the original translation. Here is a part of Carol's interpretation: "This line can have many possible meanings, all of which circle around the principle that doing something for appearance's sake leads to results that are empty of their promises." You can see the practicality of this in that it addresses my underlying attitude about the here and now. This is a very practical book if one is sincere. Something also pointed out by Jung in the forward of the Wilhelm/Baynes edition. Not related to this mornings reading but another except I would like to share concerning unconditional love from The Oracle Of The Cosmic Way: "The idea of both conditional and unconditional love comes from the collective ego, and reveals its thinking in terms of opposites. Giving love on conditions is the ego's way of withholding love until it gets what it wants. True love is a Cosmic gift to a person's true self, and is meant to flow from there to other's true selves, and back to the Cosmos, in a complete circle. This Cosmic gift is never meant to be thrown away at the ego because the ego is outside the Cosmic principles. The collective ego has invented the idea of unconditional love to rob the True self of its very life force, under the pretense that it is "spiritual" to extend one's love to everyone, regardless of the ego's presence." This is an amazing book. It's more than just a book,,, I've just scratched the surface in understanding all the different facets of it.

The need for exercising the capacity for divided attention,,,, Witness Consciousness,,,,, being the watcher.

Nonduality is multiple choice and includes both rational and irrational. Even appreciation of the humorous and absurd. Why so serious?

Good thread. Vulnerability and authenticity. Practical advice and wisdom. Understanding and relaxing into what Teacher Cynthia Bourgeault calls natural ebb and flow of yo-yo of being.

@Cryptos Yes! Big help,,, Thank you for making the notes!

Traumatic life experiences, if we use the energy in them, can result in becoming more impartial. The more impartial we are, the freer we are inside of other people. Giving Zero fucks. Also not being cynical in attitude about giving zero fucks is necessary. So it's also not giving a fuck about not giving a fuck. Only when I became free of other people did I start to really enjoy people and even appreciate them more. When I care about what people think about me, that's the beginning of inner considering. And the beginning of becoming in subtle conflict with oneself. Most of us don't cross this threshold of giving zero fucks, one time and all at once, permanently. We go back and forth for years and then one day we find that we're more 'there' than not. We're not concerned if the personality contradicts itself because we're not identified with the personality.

You describe how it was for me when I feel I was in a similar place. It's an intense ordeal. It helps to not come to conclusions about anything for a few days. When things "turn bad", there is an inherent tendency to immediately take vows of sorts but if there is any way of just holding things as neutral for a few days and not fixing a label on it, there is often deep wisdom to be had in holding things lightly. It's a common experience and it catches people off guard. There's no shame in that because it is also very real. It's hard to describe how disturbing it can be.

I've almost responded a couple of times. I've enjoyed the way you have expressed yourself and also your perspectives. You've really been through some heavy stuff.,,,, Inquiry is often painful and the Work becomes a seeming desert sometimes but there are payoffs and Oasises. Thanks for sharing,,,,Don't feel you've painted yourself in a corner in case you change your mind and decide to share again soon,,,

Watching the new one,,, The Voice of Happiness After Bankei had passed away, a blind man who lived near the master's temple told a friend; Since I am blind, I cannot watch a person's face, so I must judge his character by the sound of his voice. Ordinarily when I hear someone congradulate another upon his happiness or success, I also hear a secret tone of envy. When condolence is expressed for the misfortune of another, I hear pleasure and satisfaction, as if the one condoling was really glad there was something left to gain in his own world. "In all my experience, however, Bankei's voice was always sincere. Whenever he expressed happiness, I heard nothing but happiness, and whenever he expressed sorrow, sorrow was all I heard." This story and one the other day about Ryokan and the thief are from this book. About 15 years ago after reading it twice, I started tearing out the pages of the Zen stories I didn't like and just left the ones I did and a few I couldn't decide on. One day I'll probably buy the book again and see if it reveals any change in my impulsive decision. I probably was a bit of a Zen devil at the time.

Time and your own heart resolves the every-which-way-ness,,,, Breathe deep belly breaths. Try not to self criticize.

Jana Dixon has several chapters near the end of her book dealing with Diet and supplements in relation with Kundalini. ,,,,,,It is very important to realize that even though there is massive free radical production with the rising of kundalini, and there is cell die-off because of this, the body uses this mechanism to restructure itself. So the temporary loss of functions should not be seen as pathological, but should be celebrated as part of the Metamorphic process. This "non-pathological stance" is very vital to grasp. This death and resurrection process may seem like an illness to the conventional mindset, but we must learn to see the Whole of it--the die-offs, the loss of cortical function, the pain, the bliss--we must see all of it in the larger picture of the evolution of humanity as a whole. It may appear like I am contradicting myself creating a protocol to prevent severe free radical damage, supporting hormones and neurotransmitters...why not let the body completely exhaust itself and cannibalize itself...doesn't that mean greater evolution? No, the dissolution occurs only in the service of greater order. We must simultaneously preserve the new order while supporting the old to fall away. The bottom line is protect your membranes, build your enzyme and mineral resources, repair your receptors, keep your blood nonacidic and get plenty of raw plant life into your system. Then you have the potential to rise to a higher homeostasis. Higher homeostasis, is to ride the dragon without falling off. ,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,If undergoing an awakening the two most important things to consider even if all else is ignored are: 1. Faith and 2. Antioxidants!!! from chapter Higher Homeostasis http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=HigherHomeostasis.html

I was wondering and glad you checked in. I've been where you are. It can humble the shit out of you,,,, You'll get your legs back underneath you and be ok,,,,, Being "broken open" can often show us the wisdom of integrating a deeper level of loving kindness.

My path has and still involves re-reading books and rewatching videos. It seems that most knowledge has layers and levels of depth plus I forget so much,,,, This was one of the first Youtubes I posted to my Journal. I've probably watched it 10 times in the last 6 months. Being solidly in three centered awareness, is key. There is often a disconnect between this state and ordinary neurotic 'narrative' consciousness. Specifically, in those who experience of periodic heavy depression very little of this higher awareness or energy or Self-Remembering can reach someone in who, to use Echart Tolle's phrase, the painbody is active. I've noticed that Jana Dixon and a few others have actively incorporated the word 'painbody' into their Self Inquiry vocabulary. I think it is a very helpful synonym for irritated or distressed ego. It's a more comfortable word if you're in the shit and trying to study your way out. It sounds more forgiving. Sounds less judgmental. Also that there is a wide variation of pain bodies is a helpful notion. Or, it was/is for me. I thought about starting a forum topic on "painbody". Im watching an older Charles Tart DVD. He is calling certain kinds of Mathematics - a state specific science. Buddhism he his calling - a state specific technology. This makes even more sense having just watched Ted's video about self observation.

??? Ted led a Fourth Way group a while back and he addresses them directly in this video. Knowing this in advance may prevent a little confusion. He expresses some things in just 3 or 4 minutes that are really powerful.

@DrewNows I agree ???

I relate to this and a lot of what you said in your video. People can really project some crazy stuff or half awake ideas that don't make any sense or they are blind to how they tip their hand in showing a kind of hidden agenda and it can be frustrating. Though every now and then I catch myself projecting or totally missing the point in a conversation and saying something stupid or completely non-sequitur. In the Fourth Way, the term 'inner considering' is something that really applies. It's when the neurotic wheels start turning and self doubt starts to erode everything in a kind of downward spiral,,,, it's so universal in applying to everyone but is another one of those things that doesn't really get talked about much. I've noticed with myself when I've tried communicating about 'inner considering', a lot of times it just makes it WORSE! Lol ? It seems to really trigger that feeling of being misunderstood. Your brave for doing your videos in that your willing to be much more vulnerable than most of us who are just writing a Journal and I admire you for that. You really seem up to the task. Hang in there and don't let the 'crazies' drive you into doubt and 'inner considering'. You're doing great! ?

Humans types one, two, three are spiritually asleep with one center heavily dominating the other two. Human type four is awakened and centers are balanced. Has compassion. Human type 5 has continuity of consciousness; personality transforms into Pearl beyond Price, embodiment of personal essence - the second initiation is encountered, which is the expression of the individuality-data which is in the causal body.

Fourth Way - Sevenfold typology of Humans and the Ray of Creation

One difference between 1st and 2nd tier SD is 1st tier is motivated by 'deficiency needs' and 2nd tier is motivated by 'being needs' as Ken Wilbur phrased it. Motivation for 'Being needs' is working because of a selfish fulfillment. Not selfish in the sense of stingy or narcissistically self absorbed but as in deeply inspired. Two usages for personality - A part of us will die in the sense that we realize that our personalities are just constructs. In the Work, personality is synonymous with ego which is a false self based on internalized images. I was thinking about Realized Individuals who have little to no personality. That is, personality as it's usually used in the world. Echart Tolle AH Almaas Larry McMurtry Maurice Nicoll - THE FEELING OF NOTHINGNESS “When the Work says that a man must come to realize his own nothingness before he can be re-born, it does not mean that he must humble himself and so on, but that he must by long self-observation actually begin to realize that he is nothing and that there is no such person as himself. The object of this is to get into a position, psycho- logically speaking, between the opposites...Why is it so important to get somewhere into the centre of the pendulum and not swing to and fro? Because here, between the opposites, lie all the possibilities of growth. Here influences from higher levels can reach us. Here, in this place where one can feel one’s own nothingness (and where one is therefore free from contradictions), influences and meanings com- ing from higher centres, which have no contradictions, can be felt. Not regarding yourself as good or bad, not priding yourself on being just or otherwise, not thinking you are well-treated or badly-treated, not being caught by either movement through identifying, you come into this mid-position. This is not easy! With personality active, it is impossible. EJ Gold seems like a rarity in the Work. He's an extroverted Jovial type. A big lively personality,,,

The Moon Cannot Be Stolen Ryokan, a Zen master, lived the simplest kind of life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening a thief visited the hut only to discover there was nothing in it to steal. Ryokan returned and caught him, "You may have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler, "and you should not return empty-handed. Please take my clothes as a gift." The thief was bewildered. He took the clothes and slunk away. Ryokan sat naked, watching the moon. "Poor fellow," he mused, "I wish I could give him this beautiful moon."

Just my 2 cents with a couple of quotes,,,, Self image is ultimately a barrier to authenticity and the experience of being. Personality is built on our collection of self images which are just constructs of the mind that are not only unnecessary but limit deeper realizations of our true nature. Dissolution of the Self-Image The final outcome of the process of disidentification is the experience of the dissolution of the psychic structure or self-image. This is the experience of space, of what is sometimes called the void—when self-image is dissolved, the person will experience the loss of boundaries, both physical and mental. The nature of the mind is then revealed as an emptiness, a void, an immaculately empty space. The void and the absence of the identifications that form the psychic structure are the same thing. There are various depths and levels of empty space. We can say that the beginning of the void is the absence of identification with the self-image. There is self-image but there is no identification with it. What results is the inner sense of expansion and spaciousness. Then, at a deeper level, the self-image is gone, dissolved. There is only the experience of empty open space, which is boundless, clear, and crisp. The focus is not on the content of the mind but on the spacious emptiness that is its nature. However, this is not yet the deepest level. There might still be identification with an image, but unconsciously. Parts of the self-image might remain in the unconscious. These will surface, in time, and the experience of space will be lost. Dis-identifying with these aspects of the self-image until they dissolve will deepen the experience of space. So we see that the experience of the void does not necessarily require the end of self-image or of the personality. It means only that during the experience the personality is not there, is not running the show. This experience is of the utmost importance, for it shows us that we are not the personality. It creates room for expansion and essential development. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 46 “The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - Cynthia Bourgeault