Zigzag Idiot

Around 1999-2000 I quit after smoking 1to 2 packs/day for 15 years. The first 8 weeks were hell. Living by the minute,,, I found truth in the three minute rule for cravings and just breathed through it. I felt like a rabid dog. After about 10 days I decided anything goes and ate pain pills for about the next 6 weeks to distract myself from the nicotine cravings. Not very orthodox but it got me through the first couple months. Added a second thorn to help extract the first,,, Wiping off blood with blood,,,, The cravings were definitely less after 3 months. Not an easy time,,,, Cravings finally went away completely after about a year. They do go away.

Starting at 2:20 Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson is being read from as narrative for the video. 8 minutes.

@tsuki We should discuss it and you should choose. My guess at picking one wouldn't mean anything for you. Gurdjieff had students and Dinner guests choose their own. Would you be interested in doing that?

@tsuki That's healthier than it being an OCD which it almost is for me. I Look forward to your posts and insights whenever the spirit moves you,,,

4-1-2019 32 Duration Line 6 This line addresses restlessness caused by a spell 50 The Ting in its Cosmic meaning, the ting is an image of the Cosmic Consciousness as a vessel containing the nourishment for all things that exist. The ting is also a metaphor for what a person allows to occupy his conscious mind. Harmony is a major theme in the I CHING. Hearing this song as a kid would give me goose bumps all over. I thought of it and looked it up a couple days ago. Lyrics imply insomnia and projection and are kinda shallow and too cyclical. May as well be singing about shoveling rabbit manure. It doesn't matter though. It's the great harmony of voices that does it for me. One reason I like Jeff Lynne's Electric Light Orchestra is his frequent rich blend of harmonies. Charlie Dore's voice reminds me of Alison Krauss Harmony is good, Mmkay.

In regards to my tendency for overcompensating and going into false humility I'm reminded of an old joke. Says a patient to their Therapist, Doc, you say I have an inferiority complex. But so far as inferiority complexes go,,,, Well, I imagine It's probably not much of one.

@Karla Good articulation and presence. Hope you can catch some rest and get to feeling better. ??

There is not one person in this forum who is completely awakened, myself included. Inside Out Song lyrics. Be careful where you're walking You might step in something rough (Be mindful) Be careful when you're talking And saying all that stuff (Be careful about expressing negative emotion) Take care when you are breathing Something's funny in the air ( Breath Consciously) there's some things they're not saying 'bout what's happening out there (Spiritual sleep) It's inside out,,,, There is not one person in this forum who is completely awakened, myself included. Spiritual sleep takes many forms which include our unconstrained imagination which ranges from blatant to extremely subtle. Leo made reference to these subtle forms in his last video. His 3 part series on self deception and his video Mankind is the Bullshiting animal go directly towards addressing this part of our nature. We lie to ourselves all the time and stay lost and polluted from imagination. Most everyone at times is sure that it doesn't really apply to them because they are unwittingly identified with their own ego. I do not exclude myself. This includes everyone and the more someone refuses to see it in themselves, the more asleep they are to their own ego. Because of our psychological blindspot in which we can most often see others but not our own, people are often convinced that they are a little more 'awake' than others. Living in identification with one's beliefs is another form of spiritual sleep. Spiritual sleep and the state of being identified involves the intellectual - emotional complex in ungrounded feedback loops. It happens when we are stuck in our head and ungrounded from absence of body awareness. Very many people live exclusively here and are completely unaware of it. The transition from the First Tier of Consciousness to the Yellow level of the Second Tier is a “momentous leap” according to Clare Graves ,,,, One of my longest held work aims has been to not express negative emotions. I still fail continually, but I’ve noticed a lot about myself by trying to do this. Spiritually asleep people in the forums are the first to spout off - there is no self or there is no I. blah,blah,blah,,, Although, technically in a sense, this is true. If I stay in the outer part of my centers, (Intellectual, emotional, Instinctive), on the surface of life, I’ll just be reactive with my attention dispersed and be controlled by negative associations. I’s that exist only in the outer part of the centers are reactive and have little understanding. To journey inwards is to become aware of my atmosphere and also to become actively responsible for my internal states. I have to work to make this atmosphere hermetically sealed as Maurice Nicoll metaphorically puts it in the Gurdjieff Ouspensky Psychological Commentaries. When I’m able to seal my atmosphere (become teflon coated - another more modern metaphor) from the negative influences in the world, then it’s possible for me to enter the 3rd state. It’s also called creating moon in oneself. This is done by sensing the body and by particularly inhabiting the belly center. To do this I must take in air and impressions consciously and go to the inner parts of the centers. If we are negative, we cannot go there. I don’t take things in a negative way the deeper I go into the third state. My psychological blind spots with their reactive ignorance are stumbling blocks that distort unity and lands me back in the second state, Itoklanoz existence (2 centered existence of the intellectual emotional complex, disembodied and ungrounded). Once we start experiencing the third state, ( three centered awareness) Fulasnitamnian existence, as Gurdjieff calls it in “The Tales”, we can gain an inner memory of it to help us return there. If one doesn't ground oneself through sensation in the body, our existence stays polluted from imagination. This is highly offensive to those who are convinced of their own Awakened state of awareness and will often become emotionally negative in defending their own imaginary Awakened state. Truly Awakened people don't become emotionally negative. They don't take things in a negative way. They don't complain although they feel things more intensely than those in spiritual sleep. They understand what being in an identified state means and are objective in seeing it when it manifests within them and then are able to step back and address the identification, maybe or usually or sometimes, etc,,, It's simple but it's not. Being Awakened or fully Conscious means getting rid of most of our ideas of what being Awakened means. I started composing this last night. It is not aimed at anyone in particular. It is offered up for those who are able to aim it at themselves. We can't work on other people. One can only work on oneself. Find the inner quiet in the innermost part of ones own being. It doesn't happen automatic or mechanically. That's why we meditate. Finding the deeper part of the centers in oneself means having all of our attention collected. It's also called being in the Collected state. Being in a collected state requires 3 centered awareness. It's a state of Impartiality.

3-31-2019 39 Meeting Obstructions. On my way out the door,,,

What I was trying to convey the first time I posted in December

? Fall in Love with Truth Truth = Love Ponder- What is a holon? ♥️Act from fullness ??‍?

What if it's inside out but we see it outside in which makes it upside down?

?,,,,, nothing + everything = simple ♣️/Unity Consciousness - ♦️/dissociation = ♠️/Self Remembering Idiocy - slavery = liberation = ♥️/Idiocy ?♣️♦️♥️♠️? ?‍♂️

I'm reading in Leo's notes from his retreat and I remember Gurdjieff referring to God and the wholeness of Reality as an Ouroboros. Looking at Mandelbrot Fractals and pondering Infinity,,,,,, my realization was/is that Infinity is really big. Words don't quite capture it. I found there to be hints of Ultimate Mercy In a Gurdjieff quote from a Will Mesa article. “God made only one mistake: He created the universe in the form of an umbrella instead of an enema.” Benoit Mandelbrot

@Joseph Maynor They both have the Saturnine body type infuence, but a different mixture. Teal Swan is Mercury Saturn (thyroid and anterior pituitary dominate) and Coulter is Saturn Mars (anterior pituitary and adrenal .combination) It may have something to do with what you've observed. Or maybe not. If both of them ran out of a burning building and they were both on fire. I would assist Teal first and then hurry on to Ann.

In 3 minutes Ted Nottingham explains it pretty good.

Putting attention on the physical sensation of the feet is an easy one. Also straightening the posture helps with having inner silence. In a slumped posture we more easily go into discursive thoughts. Personally, I tend to more easily sense my hara or 2nd and 3rd chakras while standing or walking and sense the heart area (4th chakra) when sitting. Cultivating a more consistent body awareness with sensing and self observation helps me stay in the zone of having divided attention and Witness Consciousness. Consciousness is in the Head, Awareness is in the Whole Body. In order to experience and live in Awareness we have to shift the emphasis from ego in the head, to Self in the belly. The lower stomach is the center of movement situated at the level of the Sacrum, the "sacred bone", also called the "Hara". This is why whole body awareness - the critical first step on the path of Wisdom of knowing your body - must be attained by all who would fulfill their full human potential - use all parts of their brain. from: http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/brain-and-mind/

Nothing is simple Everything is simple Acting a fool can be dissociation or Acting a fool can be Self Remembering and Unity Consciousness There is slavery in Idiocy There is liberation in Idiocy

3-30-2019 28 The Preponderance of the Great line 5 32 Duration Line 5 councils me not to take on others Fate Some interesting commentary from hexagram 32 Duration: Unlike Cosmic Reality, the parallel reality created by the collective ego does not endure because it is based in the mistaken ideas and beliefs about the Cosmic Way. When a Person, through holding to such mistaken ideas and beliefs violates the Cosmic Harmony, the Cosmos responds with Fate. Fate is part of the law of physics, and has the purpose of restoring this Cosmic Harmony and of helping a person return to unity with the Cosmos. It does so by decreasing the ego in him, thus bringing him back to humility. The parallel reality is characterized by changes. These changes are brought about by the use of power on the part of humans and the Cosmic response to it in the form of Fate. Among the main mistaken ideas and beliefs that create the parallel reality are the presumptions that humans are at the center of the universe changes are the rule of life Nature operates through opposite forces to propel changes time is linear, having a beginning and an end the universe works on mechanical principles the Cosmos has a hierarchical order All of these ideas create discordant fields of consciousness which compete with the Cosmic Order and its Principles of Harmony. They separate humans from Cosmic Unity. When Fate is not recognized as help from the Cosmos to make a person aware of his mistaken ideas and beliefs, but is taken as Cosmic "punishment," the blame he puts on the Cosmos creates a new fate, thus perpetuating the misfortune. Note: The new I CHING; The Oracle of the Cosmic Way, shows how transformation, not change, is the true way of Nature, including human nature. This correlates with the Fourth Way philosophy that says in work on oneself, forced change doesn't endure in the way transformation does regarding ones being. Transformation of being instead of change of being.

I've heard it put an Awakened person has a mind. In an unawakened person, the mind has them.

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy This is a month old post I brought forward because of its relevance to Leo's talk earlier. The picture above is Benoit Mandelbrot. The mathematician mentioned when he was talking about fractals.

6 minutes - Graham Hancock on a good rant about the suppression of psychedelics and in the process points out the collective ego. He doesn't use the phrase collective ego but he nails it nonetheless.

@FoxFoxFox You seem identified though and not open to going into subtle distinctions in which Serotoninluv is trying to indicate.

3-29-2019 30 Attaining Clarity Yep, Synchronicities ??