Zigzag Idiot

You outed yourself and didn't have to. That's huge,,,, Don't beat yourself up. Have another last cigarette as a fuck you to the Super ego. Youve already demonstrated an ability to suffer Consciously. Don't self criticize. Whatever you fight makes it stronger. See something absurd about it that you can laugh about. We're all FOR you!

You're right. Expressing negative emotions doesn't do anything but dirty our inner world. This World sucks. (Beam me up Scotty) There is goodness within us. Encountering negativity after a blissful state can sometimes make the blissful state seem unreal. It's not. Goodness does exist.

4-8-2019 30 Attaining Clarity

@now is foreverThanks for letting me bug you. ??‍?

@now is foreverI went to the google doc our reading group shared and refreshed my memory. We decided the riddle has to do with psychological buffers everyone has that camouflages our many "i's". Actually I only brought it up because it was the first German text that came to mind to counter your phrase. It's a little synchronous for me ,,,,though. TMI but I'm glad I researched it and found where I also expressed a realization about Gurdjieff himself and nondual realized people in general. From google doc of an online reading of Beelzebub. JH - Seems to me it’s a whiplash that you learn to hide. Maybe not even knowing you’re hiding what’s been ingrained into you. DS - JH, That sounds like a buffer! I,m pondering. JH - I accept it’s a buffer. DS - The Specificness of their psyche could possibly be -self-contradiction- which is seen in the song they sing. Buffers keep us from seeing contradictory small i’s in ourselves. Casswiki has a link to a good article about buffers. DS - After pondering, self-contradiction isn't really working out. Unless it is specified as unconscious self-contradiction. I've considered how seemingly contradictory B/G was with his tone regarding Patriarchality and Religiousness. People with nondual consciousness can appear to be irrational. Gurdjieff didn't seem to care if others saw him as contradicting himself. I digress. Associated with the concept of buffers, what was the Specificness of their psyche as a result of the accumulated being-Diardookin because of their unique ‘grammatical rule’? DS - I was applying their unique grammatical rule to the song and equating their accumulated being-Diardookin with it. KMO, what I said about nonsense and boredom being sung at the end of the line maybe might be so, not. All of their accumulated ‘getting the cart before the horse experience’ may have come from their everyday conversations.

Thanks ? Yeah that's roughly how I remember a few months ago when I read it and translated it online.it seems like there was a deeper layer because of its wording. I would have to review some to jog my memory about it. I should have gave context. It was a riddle about the Germans in times gone by in Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson. https://gurdjieff.org.gr/ae/chapters/en50/chapter36.htm

? What about this? Blodsinn, Blodsinn, Du mein Vergnugen, Stumpfsinn, Stumpfsinn, Du meine Lust.

I just hadn't thought to do a search for Arnold on YouTube in quite a while. I found a talk of His I've never heard. It just about has to be good.

@now is forever Thank you. I Love this guy. He's the primary Author of Chance and Choice. http://www.chanceandchoice.com/

Is Arnold speaking in German?

4-7-2019 61 Inner Truth Line 3 9 Taming Power of the Small The changing line councils not to look for absolute truth outside, apart from Inner truth. Inner truth is connected to feelings which tell what is harmonious and what is discordant.

I like this one best on the list. Agree! My two cents: 1- Put attention on physical sensation in the feet with intention of escaping narrative consciousness in head brain to embodiment of whole body awareness grounded in the belly or heart. 2- Role play being extremely stupid or of being a ghost.

Thanks for sharing the Yin Yoga video. I tried a couple of the poses yesterday. I feel a slow pull toward making this a practice.

@Wisebaxter You're observations about the obsession with trying to be funny all of the time caused me to pause and reflect on my interactions with others. Actually you helped me to see a bit of my shadow in which I dissociate through some form of humor. We all dissociate with everything that can be used for dissociating from reality. After I had made those connections, I wondered if your bringing it up was your form of skillful means in getting me to see where I take a good thing - lightheartedness- and through my overcompensating personality of the type 6 (fear), go subtly into egoic imbalance. Spontaeous humor and lightheartedness are true assets that can be expressed from essence. We can see others egoic blind spots to an extent but there also exists the essential expressions and Virtues which are counterpart in a sense to false personality traits or passions. Qualities of the Pearl beyond Price some would say. Being in communication with others about work ideas just paid off for me some in uncovering a small bit of shadow. My skillful means hits a sour note at times and I'm trying to work on it where it will manifest more naturally. More accurately feeling where others are at. If this was your skillful means and way of showing me something about my blind spot or rather getting me to see it. Great job and thanks! If not, Thanks GOD! So, I'm still kind of being a Joker but it's ok because there's no identification to it,,,,,

4-6-2019 23 Splitting Apart Line 6 2 Nature Not related specifically to my reading but related to what is conveyed in The Oracle Of The Cosmic Way overall, listening to music that contain no lyrics is much healthier than music with lyrics. Thought is very powerful but the spoken word is even more powerful and can manifest spells which create a fate for oneself and others. I would like to expand on this when time allows. This idea of mine about music is really more of an assumption,,,,, for now.

Creating moon in oneself The phrase and concept of creating moon in oneself is in large part about inhabiting the belly center in a big way. By grounding into the belly center, the capacity for being impartial gains an upper hand over nearly everything. It means having all my attention gathered and being in a collected state of consciousness. It's the capacity for disidentifying from anything that is distracting my attention whether positive or negative. Early in life, due to insecurity, I lost my most of my inner sovereignty and became glued to the outer world as a people pleaser. Re-establishing in contrast to establishing a deeper connection to the belly center feels right because of a sense of Self Remembering that comes into awareness. Like self observation, it is something that becomes more accessible the more I consciously work at it. There is an element of having to start fresh everyday. Most often in the mornings I'm too much in my head until I get more awake from the nights sleep and become balanced in awareness which means the capacity for dividing my attention and having a groundedness through sensation and body awareness. I have a tendency to become spread thin due to developing interests in a multitude of different things. As this happens there's a tendency for all my attention to become dispersed. Over the years when viewed in hindsight, I've observed how it was during times of having all my attention dispersed that I would become overwhelmed by life. So creating moon in oneself is an extremely practical thing to do. Creating moon in myself is about going deeper into my interiority which is higher in terms of Consciousness contrasted to the outer surface parts of myself that is reactive and hooked to the outer world. It gives a feeling of being more of a completed and multifaceted holon. God/Cosmos is Holon. I too am a holon.

It makes sense to me. The body is not real eternally. It's just a tool needed for an Earth experience. My paraphrasing could be altering your meaning though. I'm that way with words. I've caught myself doing that a lot. Using a word repeatedly in expressing an idea,,,, Maybe I'll just laugh instead of being overly self conscious next time I catch myself doing that.

4-5-2019 34 Using Power Lines 5 and 6 1 The Cosmic Consciousness The changing lines of 34 indicate some identifications I'm in the midst of this morning. Out the door for a while,,,,

Expressing negativity is almost always counter productive. There is almost always honesty in silence. Sometimes are occurrences which are counterpart to instances of almost always,,,,

Power Of Now because of its practicality, simplicity and profundity. Addresses different forms of suffering and paths to realizing being . A book for both good times and bad times.

@now is forever Is there an "I" ahold of you? Do you need to ground through Swadisthana and Manipura,? At times, new moons have disturbed me more than full moons.

@Wisebaxter Yes, whatever kind of Dmt I took was a lot more intense than the acid I took 30 years ago. There was no lightness or euphoria with my dmt trip. It was heavy ,,,, from the word go. Although I distinctly felt tapped in to the psyche of a troubled friend who lived a few miles away. It was just more dark and heaviness though. It will help my confidence/faith next time in surrendering into it, knowing exactly what I'm taking. Whenever that comes about,,, hopefully in the next 2or 3 months. Yes, next time I'll trip solo in my house,,,,

Sometimes "when everything is wrong",,,,, everything feels dead ,, it hurts.

@Wisebaxter After my disturbing first Dmt trip, I'm inspired to go head first into my next one. I appreciate your comments and encouragement,,,,?

I'm glad you posted that. It slipped my mind. I just started watching it though. Wow lol,,, Starts out kinda intense