Zigzag Idiot

@David Hammond @whoareyou What is projection?

Does it feel lonely to be Awakened and see everything so clearly in a world full of sleeping people like Leo and all the Moderators and myself and others here ?

4-14-2019 44 Coming to Meet Lines 1,2 and 3 10 Conduct The heading from line 1 of 44: (I always find the last sentence comical when it shows up in a reading) It must be checked with a brake of bronze. To be firmly correct brings good fortune. If one lets it take its course, one experiences misfortune. Even a lean pig has it in him to rage around. Line 2 councils about doubt. Line 3 councils about becoming free from self images.

Ego - Superego- Self forgetting - Self Remembering - Being - Awakened Conscience and connection From another previous post-- Who am I? Where am I? To let go of my personal history is to walk out of a prison. Not an easy thing. Working on myself requires continual effort because I/We forget. It means beginning again, thousands of times. Encountering elements in shadow work which send me into reaction and forgetting requires self forgiveness. To 'sit with' something difficult is to eat and digest it's energy. A saying in the Work is that - sometimes I eat the bear and sometimes, the bear eats me. Forgiving myself is practice for forgiving others. Forgiving others is practice for forgiving myself. Red Hawk - "Apology and forgiveness are acts of Conscience. These are the acts which clear Conscience and allow it to grow. They feed Conscience. What gets fed, grows-that is the law. Apology and forgiveness are sacrificial acts, done in the service of something higher and finer, something which cannot be named but may be sensed, felt, and experienced. A real man, a human being, is known by his reactions. He is known not by what others say about him, but what he says about others. He is known by his acts of kindness and humility. He is known by his ability to apologize and forgive. This is how non-judgmental love manifests in reality. The conscious management of the survival instinct is the practice of a lifetime. It never ends. It comes to me as a result of remorse and fear of hurting others, which have brought about the aim of kindness in me." Yes, some. Years ago. But most of my insights are from observing and the more powerful insights have been from feeling.

More on superego from a previous post in my Journal-- Attempt at a Crushed Analysis in reclaiming our 'Red' energy. Awakened Conscience is not the same as Acquired Conscience with its ideas of morality which changes from culture to culture. We need all our energy for doing Inquiry. This means becoming Boss/manager of our sex energy. A sign that your not boss is if you feel shame connected with any part of your sex life. Which is a sign of active super ego. Super ego is directly in the way for nearly everyone in reaching and hearing the voice of Conscience, ironically. Super ego is the internal critical voice of our caregivers, usually one parent,, more than another. Religious upbringing with a lot of shame really adds to this conditioning in us in a way that's difficult to get free of as adults. Overcoming super ego involves processing and integrating any shadow in our sex life responsible for shame. Overcoming super ego means befriending our Parents at a higher level than the permanent part time child who was still under the control of the super ego. An enormous amount of vital energy and attention is then reclaimed. This is often times considered one of the first things to go after in Inquiry and work on self. How do we reach Awakened Conscience? By processing repressed negativity AND integration of shadow in becoming shameless boss/manager of one's sex energy, as a starter. Any traumas or humiliations need to have observational light put on them and eventually sorted out. Only for yourself. A part of this process is you decide what's right for you with your feelings, and not with your inner critic. Our heart helps us connect with the intelligence of Conscience when we become completely sincere and curious. We all have repressed negativity. We can do pretty good while sitting in a peaceful environment but if someone hits us in the face with a shovel, things go to a different level of difficulty. It seems women catch a double dose of conditioning apart from super ego in the automatic judgements and dictates of the cultural ego, most of which is born out of Patriarchal notions. Men have their uphill battle too in having on average at least 10 times the amount of testosterone than women. One reason why men are often just a slave to their penis. Expressing negative emotions rob energy in general. Shame, specifically robs vital energy in dividing us against ourselves.

Revised: Journal open to anyone who has Journaled since March first plus @Aquarius Where are you? Share whatever the Spirit moves you to share,

A back porch share- A while back @Alex bAlex expressed an interest in Ancient Egypt. I ran across this comparison I had recently found in my photos between what Beelzebub's Tales says and what's inscribed at the Temple Of Man in Luxor. Evidence of the existence of Atlantis.

I've wrestled with this one a lot in my early twenties. To stop thinking about myself and focus on being a help to others. But I would always end up feeling depleted and then depressed or angry. After that, guilt would sometime swamp me. It was (can be) a vicious cycle. It's difficult to establish balance sometimes. An ability to find humor in difficult situations has definitely been a help to me at times. Interesting aim,,, A huge one. It would mean dealing with every issue you are identified with. Even your name.

This is a depiction of the apostle John in the New Testament. Well, actually the paraphrased version of the Bible GOD IS DISSAPPOINTED IN YOU.

4-13-2019 24 Returning This is a small portion of the text for Hexagram 24: The Sage defines the theme of this hexagram as returning to one's original nature, and to unity with the Cosmic whole, through splitting apart from the ego. Returning also indicates the direction in which the path of development leads: back to the person's original nature. It does not lead forward, through cultivating virtues or becoming something we are not, but is a process of continual subtraction of what we have falsely added, thus to allow the True Self to resume its path toward maturation. Each step on this path leads to increasing light and relief. One takes this path through ceasing to look outward for solutions to problems, to look inward instead, to the choices that have been made. Each hexagram illuminates some hidden part of the psyche, helping us to discover our true nature. We receive this hexagram when we are ready to return from a mistake. "Friends come without blame" means that when we have the humility to acknowledge a mistake, the Helpers are freed to come to our help.

It took me a while to go back and find this post. I thought of it earlier so I felt compelled to bring it forward and add to it with what's below. Recipe for Developing Unconditional Love ❤️ I tried to live it out more than once but always failed in these attempts eventually. There are probably rare individuals out there who can. I guess they would be called saints. Which brings to mind a great one liner. "Saints are the eaters of suffering." I think most people are incapable of unconditional love just like me. One thing we are all capable of but don't always do it is practice forgiveness. Also making apologies to whoever appropriate after we violate our Conscience. The practice of not expressing negative emotions has really showed me how prevalent negativity is in our existence. I continually fail in this practice too. But persistence over the years has helped me see better. Forgiveness is a weird and funny thing when you think about it. Nothing really takes place. It just an inner psychological maneuver that leaves one feeling comparatively free of a heavy heart. This in itself is fairly good circumstantial evidence that Forgiveness is truly a nondual expression. I can sometimes become passive to the wants of my ego more than I could years ago. I see the possibility in a formula given by Arnold Keyserling. A formula or recipe for becoming someone capable of unconditional love is to go for two years, which is the cycle of Mars, in not uttering a negative emotion. Anyone who can do this will no longer take anything in a negative way after all the 'cooking' that will take place in them during that two years. Maybe it could even be called a recipe for becoming a Saint and for realizing there are no evil people, only asleep or ignorant. I can't claim this as fact but I've worked on my own reactivity long enough to realize how it could possibly be. Things point in that direction. I've started my two year timer over a lot in the last few years.

4-12-2019 58 The Joyful Lines 2 and 5 51 Shock From Line 2 of hexagram 58 - When we realize Cosmic Consciousness is neither higher, nor uses power, but helps us reunite with its harmony, there is no place for fear.

I fell asleep last night before I thought to remove the YouTube mentioned. I'm going to out myself and call that expressing negative emotion. Not bad but kinda snippy. It's what I felt in my heart more than the words I used. This was laying in bed still half asleep that I made the comment and removed it. Later in the morning I examined my heart about this and then realized the negative terrain I had been in. The guy in the YouTube really did go off the rails in the second tier descriptions. To the point of attributing evil intentions to some of those in these levels. Anyway,,,, enough said. This is why I say that have to wake up twice every morning. Not always but for the most part. I had blocked myself out of the deeper parts of the Belly center and never realized it earlier in life. As far as that goes there may be deeper layers still. Just over the course of the last year or two there's been an increase in the capacity of this center. I used to live in 1 or 2 Centered Awareness all the time for years. I'm not immune from getting knocked off balance and staying uncentered outside of 3 Centered Awareness all day. On a bad day,,,, 20 minute meditation about 30 minutes after I wake up is what works for me lately. And then another in early to mid afternoon. People who get startled are all in their head with little to no body awareness. Being anchored more deeply in the belly center allows the jack of spades, [the automatic part of the instinctive/belly center] to act more efficiently and catch something that is suddenly thrown at us. Without the involvement of the emotional center and the intellectual center. A more neurotic person may flinch or freeze. "If you could float above the earth and become aware of all the negativity going on, you would never laugh again. The world is ruled by negative emotions." - Ocke de Boer if you know Ocke through reading his books, though, you'll then laugh because you'll be reminded of his unique sense of humor. In being light hearted, we can undertake understanding heavy things.

I was struck by the profundity of it. For what I'm getting at, I separated this paragraph highlighting the the part in the middle about the mind.-- “For the process of understanding to happen, three elements need to be there at the same time. The element of disidentification is one of them, involvement is another. The third element is the quality of allowing. These elements can be there when there is harmony among the three centers—the belly center, the chest center, and the head center. When there is this harmony, it is possible to experience fully, to allow, and to disidentify. Now, what do I mean by these three elements? Each center contributes to the process of understanding. ?If the head center is functioning correctly, it means that space or emptiness is allowed. What is the significance of space and emptiness? Space and emptiness make possible the quality of allowing. When there is space in the mind, there is no self-image. You’re not trying to stick to something in particular. You’re not trying to go somewhere. The mind is allowing whatever is there to be there. So the head center’s participation or contribution is space, which is an allowing, a welcoming in a sense—space for things to happen without rejection, without trying to hold on. You become complete allowing. ? The heart center’s contribution has to do with its central quality, which is the personal essence. The contribution of the personal essence is the diving movement, the actual living of the experience. You not only allow it, you’re in the midst of it, you’re one with it. You’re really it, you let it happen, you feel it fully, you sense it fully, you experience it fully, right? That’s the contribution of the heart center. The belly center has its contribution, which is represented by the self, the essential self. The contribution of the essential self is the disidentification, the turning away. When you are truly functioning in the belly, you are completely present, and being completely present, you are being yourself. So you are not identified with the usual activity of trying to get somewhere else.” Diamond Heart Book Three, pg. 73

Some make the distinction that sense of self based on an internalized image is the real problem. Once this counterfeit sense of self is seen through, the True Self of Essence which is counterpart to false personality/ego can take it place. Identity is then based on being instead of internalized pictures of oneself.

@breathe582 For the time being I would side with practicality and commonsense over any ideas of being a purist. Over time you can learn more and ponder what's right for you and how you want to go about it. As a 51 yr. old male, I'm not very qualified in giving an answer about this. Although a few years ago I faced a similar conflict about actualizing and working on myself while on the SSRI Paxil. It worked out though and I was eventually able to get off the Paxil and work at actualization continues.

The world values big personalities for the most part. This is upside down. What is real in us is essence. Essence can only grow at the expense of personality. If one is unable to become passive to ones own personality or to phrase it differently to make personality passive, one cannot transform. Personality blows hot air night and day. Personality and unprocessed emotional negativity hold back any growth of essence. Anyone can observe it in themselves and I observe it in myself. Whenever I blab away about something, I lose force. A distinction can be made between blabbing away and expressing understanding. If I have the capacity to hold back and stay silent against the wishes of the personality, then there is room for essence to grow. Personality is inherently reactive. This morphs into the ability for spontaneous action when essence is developed instead of personality. Learning to spot inner considering in oneself can help one to reverse course away from personality. In the Work, the phrase false personality is often used synonymously with ego contrasted to the integrated True Self of essence or the Pearl beyond Price. Personality/ego is reactive and identified. - contracted - hooked to time. Essence/Being is capable of spontaneity from a position of mindfulness and unattachment. - open- free in space. Another thing to notice in oneself when encountered over time. We have no startle response if we are fully present and awake. Embodiment and body awareness = "A relaxed body is an honest body." - Red Hawk

4-11-2019 53 Developing the True Self Lines 3&4 12 Being Halted From changing line 3 - The I CHING's council to "undertake something" always means INNER action, specifically saying the inner NO to what is incorrect, both in oneself and others. Changing line 4 also echoes the need for saying the inner NO to incorrect behavior as well as any kind of blame pointed at oneself or others. ,,,,,, "there is no longer any basis for discord."

Ive started watching this- Removed the looney tunes Spiral Dynamics Coral meme video that was here. Want no part of it. I just enjoyed a short 10 minute one on Coral that I'll paste underneath. Don't let his quirky sense of humor drive you away in the beginning.,,, It gets better.

This has been my experience- A part of you knew he was going to do this as it unfolded. Mechanical thinking and behavior that is so predictable it drives you bezerk. ,,, How lucky you are! You're a part of a small percentage who don't bullshit about their own hatred. Very much an experience in my life is/was carrying hatred. I left the present tense adverb in because I'm not above it. We couldn't feel hatred if we didn't have a heart. I understand about taking the forum in small doses at times and think it's wise.

4-10-2019 58 The Joyful Lines 1,3,4 48 The Well

Reaching conclusions can cause unhappiness. Conclusions are also often judgements or require judgements that are unnecessary. This is taking a frozen past and adding to the frozen future of the collective ego. "The wheel becomes a spiral of our renewal. It shows me where I need to need to work and integrate. In addition to being a tool for integration the Wheel is a map of Dimensions. "With eash festival we renew ourselves in a different way." Says, Wilhelmina Keyserling In the YouTube just above discussing the Wheel The following from Chance and Choice summarizes a lot of the YouTube. The spatial rituals can still be found in the Native American tribes. In their cosmogony we find a non-dual AWARENESS beyond name and form: The Great Spirit, ("Wakan" in Lakota) that divides into the Infinite and the Eternal. This is the Zero and, according to Hyemeyohsts Storm and others, the shamans who knew in Native American culture were called the Zero Chiefs. THE GREAT SPIRIT THE INFINITETHE ETERNAL SpaceTime The Great MotherThe Great Father YinYang Both the Infinite and the Eternal are creators. Both are beyond numeric order in the formless realm of the Zero. They are originators of number and form. Their Yin or Yang quality prevails in the whole of creation. Their duality maintains the created world through the eight directions that connect us to the infinite. 1 E In the East, at Dawn the sun shines - heaven rises. It is the direction of renewal, of revelation and enlightenment by the spirit of creation. The Power of the East is Fire. In the I Ching it is the trigram of Awareness, the sign of heaven. 2 W In the West at dusk the earth rises. Eventually you will lie down for sleep in a horizontal position. The whole body is in touch with the earth. You relinquish all worries and thoughts of the day. Letting go and becoming empty makes you receptive. In deep sleep you receive and integrate the germs of light from all suns in the Universe, the stars. Integrate here means affirming. The Power of the West is the Minerals and Stones, epitomized by the Crystals. It means to let go and to affirm. The correspondence is with the I Ching trigram Willing, which is also the sign of the earth. The West Powers help clarify your life's work. 3 S South is midday. You need to shine as the sun at midday, to trust in yourself and others - to trust in Soul. You need the innocence of a child, forgetting the failures of the past. The spirit of the South bestows innocence and trust, attributes of plant-like trust in growth. In the course of the year the Southpoint is the winter equinox, the festival of the innocent child. The Power of the South is in plants, in Trees. It is a little different in Africa where this Power is exemplified by Water, not Trees. In the I Ching the South is the trigram of Soul. 4 N The North - thinking - relates us to the animal world, our teachers in strategy. The spirit of the North bestows wisdom and clarity, if our thinking surges from the polar star - right brain inspiration - to merge again with its center. It is the wisdom in doing. Animals are the Power of the North. In Africa it is called the Power of Nature, including the animals and more. In the I Ching it is the trigram of Thinking. 5 C Center/Down. If you direct your attention to the four directions, and also to front-back-left-right, you will necessarily center yourself. Five signifies your centered self and that of all others who are centered. In the esoteric traditions humanity is always identified with the number five. Its Power is the Sacred Earth. There is no I Ching correspondence. Centered also means to be an axis between heaven and earth. But to become a co-creator of evolution you need the support of the spirits 6, 7, 8 and 9. 6 SE Six are the teachers of humanity, the Ancestors who paved the spiritual path up to the present. They make for a continuity in spiritual evolution of human history. In the South East everyone can discover and establish contact with his or her ancestors. This may mean more that your personal relations To a musician it might be the spirit of Bach, to a mathematician the ancestral link might be to Pythagoras, to others it might be Albert Schweitzer, Jesus Christ, Moses, or whoever gives you strength and understanding to follow your own path. The ancestor you find will include you in the spiritual family and link you to the "Golden Chain". They paved the way for your special work on earth. They do not give you directions, you Create your own, but they give you strength to pioneer your new link in the chain. The Power of the South East is the Ancestors and its trigram is Spirit. 7 SW Seven are the spirits of our physical world of incarnated existence: the Elementals. Here the elements - Earth, Air, Water and Fire - are part of our survival, our health, our daily activities and success. As with the seven chakras they represent our agents operating in three realms - Body, Soul and Spirit. On the dream level in the West in fairytales they are called Trolls - spirits of the soil (sensing) who maintain our existence; Dwarfs - spirits of the air (thinking) who help us to surmount obstacles; Fairies - spirits of the waters (feeling) who stimulate our power of wish and endeavor; Elves - spirits of fire (willing), of serenity and joy, who help us to celebrate life as a luminous dream. In Africa and South America they are called the Kontomble. These Nature Spirits can give you courage to go forward into the unknown. The Power of the South West is thus the Natural Spirits and the trigram is Body. 8 NW Eight embodies the principle of underlying consistency in the midst of change. Like the Wheel it is the grid or underlying structure in which change takes place. This is the structure which remains constant while all else changes. We feel this as a deep desire for harmony, for participation in a kind of infinite stability. The spirits of the North West have been defined as angels or cosmic helpers who bridge the finite and the infinite. We contact them to base our transitory actions on the underlying eternal laws. In this way we generate harmony in ourselves and our surroundings. It is the Power of Angels and the trigram of Feeling. 9 NE Nine are the inspirers, the agents of change in the microcosm, the macrocosm, as well as in the human world of speech, action and experience. The combination of nine faculties generates all possible action and mutation. As Gurdjieff said, "whoever understands the nine can do". The North East, which lies between the enlightening inspiration of the East and the wisdom of the North, conveys the ninefold actualizing inspiration by which we become co-creators in evolution. These inspirers were called the "Muses". They empower our ninefold faculty of actualization. It is the Power of the Muses and the I Ching trigram of Sensing. 10 C Center/Up. With the Ten we anchor our mind in the center. We are in communion with above and below, heaven and earth. We invoke the spirit of the "Being in the Universe". He/She is the archetype of the possible human, of humanity. She/He is the aspect of the divine in whose image we are fashioned, the mold. In the center we invoke the sacred unifying power. There is no trigram correspondence.

4-9-2019 42 Increasing Line 5 27 Nourishing