Zigzag Idiot

Oops ,,, yesterday 5-10-2019 5 Waiting Line 1 60. Limitation/Self-Limitation 5-11-2019 25. Innocence Not Expecting/Not Projecting "Not Expecting/not projecting," the Sage informs us, is a person's natural state of mind. It means residing in one's center, where discernment springs spontaneously from the feeling of what is harmonious and what is discordant. Such a state is in harmony with the Cosmos and draws its help in all situations. -- small piece of the text.

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With some awakening/realization experiences, you know almost right away that you will not share it with anybody. Knowing that there is no way to describe the felt experience of it. Another thing is that you don't want to pollute the experience and make it cheap by trying to describe it.

Archetype of the Magician video reminded me of a little section in ACIM. The section is called Grandeur versus Grandiosity and contains 11 paragraphs. I've pasted paragraphs 1,2 and 8 below with link to full text underneath. If you can look beyond the Patriarchal language,,,,, T-9.VIII.1. Grandeur is of God, and only of Him. 2 Therefore it is in you. 3 Whenever you become aware of it, however dimly, you abandon the ego automatically, because in the presence of the grandeur of God the meaninglessness of the ego becomes perfectly apparent. 4 When this occurs, even though it does not understand it, the ego believes that its "enemy" has struck, and attempts to offer gifts to induce you to return to its "protection." 5 Self-inflation is the only offering it can make. 6 The grandiosity of the ego is its alternative to the grandeur of God. 7 Which will you choose? T-9.VIII.2. Grandiosity is always a cover for despair. 2 It is without hope because it is not real. 3 It is an attempt to counteract your littleness, based on the belief that the littleness is real. 4 Without this belief grandiosity is meaningless, and you could not possibly want it. 5 The essence of grandiosity is competitiveness, because it always involves attack. 6 It is a delusional attempt to outdo, but not to undo. 7 We said before that the ego vacillates between suspiciousness and viciousness. 8 It remains suspicious as long as you despair of yourself. 9 It shifts to viciousness when you decide not to tolerate self-abasement and seek relief. 10 Then it offers you the illusion of attack as a "solution." T-9.VIII.8. It is easy to distinguish grandeur from grandiosity, because love is returned and pride is not. 2 Pride will not produce miracles, and will therefore deprive you of the true witnesses to your reality. 3 Truth is not obscure nor hidden, but its obviousness to you lies in the joy you bring to its witnesses, who show it to you. 4 They attest to your grandeur, but they cannot attest to pride because pride is not shared. 5 God wants you to behold what He created because it is His joy. https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/course-miracles-chapter-9-viii-grandeur-versus-grandiosity/

I should have worded this different. Rereading this a day or two after I posted it caused me to realize that my wording created a small frame of reference. It doesn't allow for the idea that at a certain point no more time is spent towards further considerations regarding those who have been banned. Which could be seen as a reasonable line of thought in the overall concerns of running an organization. What I was really asking for was a simple acknowledgement that an appeal had been made on behalf of Gog. Being that this is once more bumped to the top relieves my conscience as an advocate that this has been seen and so in that sense, there is no need for acknowledgement. I feel now that my efforts toward this voluntary obligation is completed. Thank you. Good luck to you Gog,,,,

5-9-2019 6 Conflict. Line 4 59 Dissolution/Dissolving The changing line 4 of hexagram 6 councils about ending a fate caused by my own wrong thinking. It brings to mind the Greek word Metanoia as it's used in the New Testament according to the interpretation of many in esoteric Christianity. Reversal of thought,,,, or Transformational change of heart instead of bowing the head in shameful repentance and being stained with guilt.

Me too. Great post! True seeing and wisdom on many issues. IME Theres a saying I've heard that's associated with Inquiry and work on oneself -- "For a long time the ability to see, will be far ahead of ones capacity to do." Being more awake can be painful. Like with not going into self criticism at some point in Inquiry. I watched myself fail 100% with that one for a long time. My experience with Inquiry and work on self has been one of layers..I find peace with myself when I forgive others for some tendency of my own which I see in them and has been for the most part, in my blindspot. Owning up to my own negativity can help me to overlook it in others which helps it to heal in myself. Less shadow.

Oops,, Yesterday 5-7-2019 57 The Penetrating Lines 1 and 6 5. Waiting 5-8-2019 5. Waiting line 3 60 Limitation/Self-Limitation Today the changing line gives council in regard to the effects of making certain types of projections which result in putting a spell on others which then has further consequences. A lot of my actions seem to be the equivalent of picking out the cleanest shirt in the dirty clothes pile.

Regarding - Feeling depressed after Awakening “A man may be born, but in order to be born he must first die, and in order to die he must first awake.” – George Gurdjieff A memory came up yesterday of a few years ago during a time of existential suffering and dread. I had heard Terrence McKenna use the phrase "Rome falls nine times an hour". To me this perfectly describes the angst, confusion and unsettledness that always seems to return just before a deeper realization occurs. It seems to me that there are many times that one goes through the process of awakening, dying to yet something else and then rebirth.

This that we have now

I miss my old Camero I sold for $600 at a low period in the late 80's.

@Thittato It's uplifting to read your Journal. With your success and enrichment with the intense chess hobby and your yoga practice blossoming, you seem to be entering states of flow. ??‍♂️?

@Alex bAlex The above diagram is just referencing 4 different states of consciousness. Human #1, #2, and #3 who are all operating out of a dominance of one of the three centers -- instinctual/moving, feeling, or Intellectual are all asleep. When the centers start coming into balance, they become human #4 (balanced human) and start experiencing true compassion, brief periods of Self Remembering and Witness Consciousness, and tastes of higher states. Human #5 is in a steady existence of 3 Centered Awareness and is starting to become paranormal with heightened intuition moving into a capacity for clairvoyance with opening of third eye.

Inquiry as I understand it includes both self Observation and Self Remembering 2nd state; aka -- Autopilot Itoklanoz Awareness 3rd state ; aka --3 Centered Awareness, 3 Centered knowing, Self Remembering Fulasnitamnian Awareness What is Self Remembering Rupert Spira https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/read/what_is_selfremembering_200

Two completely different categories of Prayer-- Petitionary Prayer Contemplative Prayer

Thanks, I'll check it out. Martin Butler repeats what he describes as a kind of horrible quote- -- "Those who matter, don't complain. Those who complain, don't matter. To me this says, feel everything, but don't become a Lunar-tic.

5-6-2019 27 Nourishing. Lines 2, 3, and 4 14. Possession in Great Measure My I pad became sick and disconnected for a couple days coinciding with the site having troubles. I've got a lot of catch up reading to do. Pressed on time this morning. Pondering my changing lines connected with Nourishing,,,,,

Immaterial Quintessence sounds like Essence with with its different qualities. What Almaas refers to as essential aspects Absorption of all Essential Aspects into the Personal Essence However, the pearl beyond price feels personal without being the personality. It has the capacity to make a personal contact with another human being and still be free, totally unconditioned, free from the past and its influences. It is the most personally intimate aspect of oneself. Everyone recognizes what it is when he first sees it. Sometimes even the vaguest perception of it brings out the exclamation “but this feels like me, intimately me.” And yet it is not selfish like the personality. The personality is based on deficiency, and this is the source of its selfishness. But the pearl is based on true value and true fullness. In fact, it is itself fullness. All of essential development is ultimately the development of the pearl. All of the essential aspects are for the pearl, for the life, use, enjoyment, and fulfillment of the pearl. That is why in the stories it is represented as a princess of unsurpassable beauty. The joy of the essence is its joy. The love is its love. The pleasure of the essence is for it, the majesty of the essence is its grandeur, the beauty of the essence is it, itself. The whole quest—its meaning, purpose, and completion—can be understood as the realization of the pearl beyond price. Many stories have been written about it. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 162 So the capacity to be without this ego sense of self eliminates selectivity in one’s personal experience of essential qualities, opening the consciousness to an unlimited range of qualities. The absence of inner selectivity due to cessation of the feeling of self, coupled with the openness to expansion due to disidentincation from ego inadequacy, allows a new possibility of realization. It makes it possible to complete the process of personalization of Essence, which is the absorption of all essential aspects into the Personal Essence, or the synthesis of all aspects into a personal presence. The essential aspects now constitute the very substance of the Personal Essence. One not only feels one is a full personal presence, but that this very same presence includes the presence of Love, Joy, Strength, Compassion, Merging, Peace, Intelligence, Will, Consciousness, etc. Aspects are simultaneously personalized, with their capacities and functions integrated. This is a condition of completeness, of an amazing degree of integration. One is full and firm, strong and soft, sweet and warm, and so on. One is a complete person. This does not mean that one’s personal presence from now on is always this complete state. It indicates that one is able to be present in this expanded state of Being. The Personal Essence is an organic and fluid presence; there is no rigidity in it at all. All its states, through the whole process of its realization and development, are available to it now, manifesting according to the situation. Practically, this realization allows the capacity to be personal in any of the essential aspects, or any combination of them, depending on the demands of the situation. The complete state of the Personal Essence brings a perception of one’s presence as preciousness, beauty and regality. It is no wonder that the Personal Essence is called in some stories, the Princess Precious Pearl. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 391

Bumper sticker in the 1990's was right on --- Shit happens One hurdle at this point in my experience is not becoming identified and falling back into sleep.

I forgot to record yesterday's reading 5-3-2019 59 Dissolution/Disolving. Lines 5 and 6 7 The Army 5-4-2019 32. Duration Lines 2,3,5 and 6 12. Being Halted Lots of material in the changing lines in this reading. Cautions about a number of things including --- being overwhelmed by wallowing in doubt faith based on hope self blame by going along with the parallel world of the collective ego restlessness and acting impulsive

@jbram2002 I started the Teal Swan video and,,,, yeah, me too! So I'm watching it now.

? Short Answer -- To develop the capacity for "objectless awareness." Use of a sacred word with the Centering Prayer technique,,,, every thought gets let go of,,, practicing kenosis,,,, Long answer -- Brilliant explainer Cynthia Bourgeault giving a talk at a SAND conference. She's a long time student of the Gurdjieff Work, has a Phd, and is one of the first women ordained as an Episcopal Priest. So in a way I see her as a current day Alan Watts. 26 minutes

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My twice a day meditation is Centering Prayer. It helps me touch base with being an empty vessel and inner quiet. Sensing practice- Intermittently sensing the feet dusting the day helps reinforce this by staying grounded in the body. Mindfulness practice of collecting scattered attention is another one which I describe as cleaning and sealing the atmosphere of my luminous egg. The visualization helps in this. Helps with Impartiality and not getting distracted or reactive. Taken all together allows for insight to arrive when it's needed but I don't allow it during Centering Prayer. For me In Centering Prayer, even if a vision of Jesus appeared holding a out a golden key,,,, it would be, not now man, wait till I'm done.

I'm integrating my Colonel Kurtz with my Mr. Rogers.