Zigzag Idiot

My concentrating at times on the spiritual practice of not complaining or expressing negative emotion I'm afraid can sometimes easily be interpreted as preachy or self righteousness. Especially if you've been one who happens to be "in the soup" at the time. We all go into the soup periodically whether or not we want to admit it. Those who don't go there have usually have done so, so much in the past that they are beyond judgement of others in regard to this. Using one's expressing of negative emotion as a gauge of spiritual development is an honest indicator. It's usually not very flattering though because it's a tough thing to do and promoting this kind of assessment is never going to be widely popular. The other day I used some emoticons in a post on my IPad and when I later read it on my I phone one of the emoticons showed up as a ♂️. Needless to say It changes the whole tone of a post. I had to go copy this one and couldn't even find one on my IPad. In case I've sent you a message recently and this symbol was typed in which made it seemed peculiar,,,, now you know. I had forgotten about this but now I'm going back to try to figure out which one of the emoticons changes over different operating systems.

I agree with @Space and would also like to have a link. I see wisdom in your caveat.

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@DrewNows It was my interpretation also that that would be ok,,, a relief valve where open book type people could process shadow out here in front of God and everybody. Sounds risky but I will probably jump in at least once in a while if it takes off.

The Looking Glass Self - I am who I think you think I am This is so relevant to self observation and Inquiry and also a perfect description of what in the Fourth Way is called 'inner considering'. A very prevalent but specific neurosis in most everyone which disperses our precious commodity of attention available for one's own direction. Reminded me to search you tube again which resulted in discovering a good fresh one,,,,, just 2 minutes long - Of all the videos I've seen of Leo's, this is the one which I find speaks the most about this neurotic tendency. Inner considering starts the process of ego backlash. IME and why it's so relevant for all of us to understand and recognize it. If we understand, our chances are better for putting a stick into the spinning spokes of this form of monkey mind.

I visit there sometimes. Nisargadatta describes it well - "Nothing is wrong anymore".

I've admitted to my tendency in the past of being a complainer and being blind to the utter uselessness of it. It is something which still returns at times, like when I'm under a lot of stress. Complaining is unnecessary suffering. I like this video Serotoninluv shared in his Journal. It speaks to this idea of things that are slow healing. As well, It speaks to why our inner state can change so drastically from deficiency back into fullness and flow when the light of Consciousness touches on a shadow issue and healing occurs. It helps me to understand the ups and downs of life. Especially while engaged in the process of shadow work. Next week some other issue may rise to the surface from the subconscious but being aware of a larger frame of reference and how healing can sometimes play out by sitting with issues can give one some space in which to let it happen.

5-13-2013 24. Returning A small part of the text concerning hexagram 24 - Returning also indicates the direction in which the path of development leads: back to the person's original nature. It does not lead forward, through cultivating virtues or becoming something we are not, but is a process of continuous subtraction of what we have falsely added, thus to allow the True Self to resume its path toward maturation. Each step on this path leads to increasing light and relief. One takes this path through ceasing to look outward for the solutions to problems, to look inward instead to the choices that have been made. Each hexagram illuminates some hidden part of the psyche, helping us to discover our true nature.

5-12-2019 54. The Marrying Maiden/An Untenable Situation. Line 6 38 Separating/Opposition

You were somebody else on those two tabs. Like the snickers commercials in a way,,,, I'm speaking from being a former out of control drunk. Shame can cripple people for half a lifetime. You have wisdom in being focused on healing that shame and the hurt relationship with with your sister instead of repressing and denial. Forgive yourself if you haven't already. It will work out. It simply wasn't you that said that so you don't have to identify with that. The same way with a lot of thoughts that are negative or shameful. Often they just show up without you creating them. These kind of thoughts are trouble if we begin to identify with them and think we are responsible for random thoughts. They can just be let go of. Shadow work is tough but the seeming miraculous can happen over time if you're sincere. Its also smart of you money-wise to live at home and not throw away money and effort until you have a solid strategy for what you want.

Oops ,,, yesterday 5-10-2019 5 Waiting Line 1 60. Limitation/Self-Limitation 5-11-2019 25. Innocence Not Expecting/Not Projecting "Not Expecting/not projecting," the Sage informs us, is a person's natural state of mind. It means residing in one's center, where discernment springs spontaneously from the feeling of what is harmonious and what is discordant. Such a state is in harmony with the Cosmos and draws its help in all situations. -- small piece of the text.

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With some awakening/realization experiences, you know almost right away that you will not share it with anybody. Knowing that there is no way to describe the felt experience of it. Another thing is that you don't want to pollute the experience and make it cheap by trying to describe it.

Archetype of the Magician video reminded me of a little section in ACIM. The section is called Grandeur versus Grandiosity and contains 11 paragraphs. I've pasted paragraphs 1,2 and 8 below with link to full text underneath. If you can look beyond the Patriarchal language,,,,, T-9.VIII.1. Grandeur is of God, and only of Him. 2 Therefore it is in you. 3 Whenever you become aware of it, however dimly, you abandon the ego automatically, because in the presence of the grandeur of God the meaninglessness of the ego becomes perfectly apparent. 4 When this occurs, even though it does not understand it, the ego believes that its "enemy" has struck, and attempts to offer gifts to induce you to return to its "protection." 5 Self-inflation is the only offering it can make. 6 The grandiosity of the ego is its alternative to the grandeur of God. 7 Which will you choose? T-9.VIII.2. Grandiosity is always a cover for despair. 2 It is without hope because it is not real. 3 It is an attempt to counteract your littleness, based on the belief that the littleness is real. 4 Without this belief grandiosity is meaningless, and you could not possibly want it. 5 The essence of grandiosity is competitiveness, because it always involves attack. 6 It is a delusional attempt to outdo, but not to undo. 7 We said before that the ego vacillates between suspiciousness and viciousness. 8 It remains suspicious as long as you despair of yourself. 9 It shifts to viciousness when you decide not to tolerate self-abasement and seek relief. 10 Then it offers you the illusion of attack as a "solution." T-9.VIII.8. It is easy to distinguish grandeur from grandiosity, because love is returned and pride is not. 2 Pride will not produce miracles, and will therefore deprive you of the true witnesses to your reality. 3 Truth is not obscure nor hidden, but its obviousness to you lies in the joy you bring to its witnesses, who show it to you. 4 They attest to your grandeur, but they cannot attest to pride because pride is not shared. 5 God wants you to behold what He created because it is His joy. https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/course-miracles-chapter-9-viii-grandeur-versus-grandiosity/

I should have worded this different. Rereading this a day or two after I posted it caused me to realize that my wording created a small frame of reference. It doesn't allow for the idea that at a certain point no more time is spent towards further considerations regarding those who have been banned. Which could be seen as a reasonable line of thought in the overall concerns of running an organization. What I was really asking for was a simple acknowledgement that an appeal had been made on behalf of Gog. Being that this is once more bumped to the top relieves my conscience as an advocate that this has been seen and so in that sense, there is no need for acknowledgement. I feel now that my efforts toward this voluntary obligation is completed. Thank you. Good luck to you Gog,,,,

5-9-2019 6 Conflict. Line 4 59 Dissolution/Dissolving The changing line 4 of hexagram 6 councils about ending a fate caused by my own wrong thinking. It brings to mind the Greek word Metanoia as it's used in the New Testament according to the interpretation of many in esoteric Christianity. Reversal of thought,,,, or Transformational change of heart instead of bowing the head in shameful repentance and being stained with guilt.

Me too. Great post! True seeing and wisdom on many issues. IME Theres a saying I've heard that's associated with Inquiry and work on oneself -- "For a long time the ability to see, will be far ahead of ones capacity to do." Being more awake can be painful. Like with not going into self criticism at some point in Inquiry. I watched myself fail 100% with that one for a long time. My experience with Inquiry and work on self has been one of layers..I find peace with myself when I forgive others for some tendency of my own which I see in them and has been for the most part, in my blindspot. Owning up to my own negativity can help me to overlook it in others which helps it to heal in myself. Less shadow.

Oops,, Yesterday 5-7-2019 57 The Penetrating Lines 1 and 6 5. Waiting 5-8-2019 5. Waiting line 3 60 Limitation/Self-Limitation Today the changing line gives council in regard to the effects of making certain types of projections which result in putting a spell on others which then has further consequences. A lot of my actions seem to be the equivalent of picking out the cleanest shirt in the dirty clothes pile.

Regarding - Feeling depressed after Awakening “A man may be born, but in order to be born he must first die, and in order to die he must first awake.” – George Gurdjieff A memory came up yesterday of a few years ago during a time of existential suffering and dread. I had heard Terrence McKenna use the phrase "Rome falls nine times an hour". To me this perfectly describes the angst, confusion and unsettledness that always seems to return just before a deeper realization occurs. It seems to me that there are many times that one goes through the process of awakening, dying to yet something else and then rebirth.

This that we have now

I miss my old Camero I sold for $600 at a low period in the late 80's.

@Thittato It's uplifting to read your Journal. With your success and enrichment with the intense chess hobby and your yoga practice blossoming, you seem to be entering states of flow. ??‍♂️?

@Alex bAlex The above diagram is just referencing 4 different states of consciousness. Human #1, #2, and #3 who are all operating out of a dominance of one of the three centers -- instinctual/moving, feeling, or Intellectual are all asleep. When the centers start coming into balance, they become human #4 (balanced human) and start experiencing true compassion, brief periods of Self Remembering and Witness Consciousness, and tastes of higher states. Human #5 is in a steady existence of 3 Centered Awareness and is starting to become paranormal with heightened intuition moving into a capacity for clairvoyance with opening of third eye.

Inquiry as I understand it includes both self Observation and Self Remembering 2nd state; aka -- Autopilot Itoklanoz Awareness 3rd state ; aka --3 Centered Awareness, 3 Centered knowing, Self Remembering Fulasnitamnian Awareness What is Self Remembering Rupert Spira https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/read/what_is_selfremembering_200