Zigzag Idiot

@mandyjw In a google search just now, this article mentions both magnesium and chromium. https://www.realbuzz.com/articles-interests/nutrition/article/5-food-cravings-conquered/ You're right about magnesium. It gives chromium deficiency as the reason more for sugar cravings.

Did someone mention chocolate? ? I heard in the past chocolate cravings can be lessened by taking chromium supplement. I've had mixed results with experiments in the past with this. It's maybe time to for me to experiment again.

@ValiantSalvatore Everything is about the same since my small trip, emotionally and meditation wise. The second half of the day after the trip though I did feel more opened up, like I described above. I didn't pay much attention to his hand movements in the video other than label them roughly. Similar to what you suggested as some yoga or energy work/practice. This is all new to me too. I have much to learn.

In addition to opening the heart (4th chakra) more, is the notion of closing up the 5th chakra which has a common malfunction of being too open. Being able to "hold one's tongue" is a form of intentional or conscious suffering which leads to more understanding which in turn grows one's capacity to love more.

The following quotes by Ocke de Boer is meaningful to me in regards to love. Ocke: Remorse will bring conscious suffering. This is to see and feel your own mechanical behaviour or negativity and seeing you can’t do anything about it. Conscious suffering will bring the Work deeper in you and therefore will increase your being so that conscience can speak. It will give a constant and unflagging need to work and enable you to pass the first threshold. Conscious suffering is the medicine to make the Automaton surrender to the Permanent Witness. The Automaton is an instrument. The Permanent Witness has to learn how to use it. One of the aims of our Work is to bring us in contact with Conscience, which is in our subconsciousness. Conscience is the inner memory for those actions necessary to bring any given situation back in tune with Unity. Although this definition of Conscience is correct, it stays incomplete, because Conscience cannot be reasoned but must come into Being. Zigzag Idiot note: Guilt is the distorted experience of remorse. Conscious love cannot be experienced until we are in contact with Conscience. We have to be able to stomach ourselves. Also from Ocke: Conscience is intuitive Intellegence, the Intellegence of the heart which is also the Intelligence of the Universe.

Unlike evidenced in the video above, in my short NN dmt trip, (smoked) I experienced some loss of balance and coordination. Also it seemed like the small psychological shaking I went through gave the sense/feeling of my heart being opened a little more for the rest of the day. I felt opened up similarly to way grief softens and opens one up. Not in a big way, I didn't cry, but more subtle to medium in intensity.

Do you think this practice would work if you left out the expectation?

@ValiantSalvatore Video looks really interesting. Just now started watching it. Thanks!!

A few days ago You posted what looked like a phone video of a guy walking through a crowd and past a woman who hit him with an object she was swinging. I had an epiphany about it. Do you remember the one I'm referring to?

I feel Elliot Hulse is putting a distorted emphasis on Patriarchy in regards to Eastern Christian Orthodoxy. From a larger frame of reference, Identification with Patriarchy is a promotion of violence. The following is about Claudio Naranjo from Wikipedia- "For in this book, which has a foreword by Jean Houston, Naranjo explores what he sees as the root cause of the destruction of human civilization (as evidenced in the 2000s (decade) as war, violence, oppression of women, child abuse, environmental endangerment, etc.)—patriarchy—and brings both the problem and the solution home to an intra-psychic level. Patriarchy, he says, has taken root over millennia in the workings of our own conditioned minds." The above is a small extraction from below excerpt. ?? Since the late 1980s, Naranjo has divided each year between his activities abroad and his writing at home in Berkeley. Among his many publications, he has revised an early book on Gestalt therapy and published two new ones. He has published three books on the Enneagram of Personality, as well as The End of Patriarchy, which is his interpretation of social problems as the expression of a devaluation of the nurturance and human instinct and their solution in the harmonious development of our "three brained" potential. He has also published a book on meditation, The Way of Silence and the Talking Cure, and Songs of Enlightenment on the interpretation of the great books of the West as expressions of "the inner journey" and variations on the "tale of the hero". Since the late 1990s he has attended many education conferences and sought to influence the transformation of the educational system in various countries. It is his conviction that “nothing is more hopeful in terms of social evolution than the collective furthering of individual wisdom, compassion and freedom”.[6] His book Changing Education to Change the Worldpublished in Spanish in 2004, was meant to stimulate the efforts of teachers among SAT graduates who are beginning to be involved in a SAT-in- Education project, that offers the staff of schools and the students in schools of education a "supplementary curriculum" of self-knowledge, relationship-repair and spiritual culture. In 2006 the Foundation Claudio Naranjo was founded to implement his proposals regarding the transformation of traditional education into an education that does not neglect the human development that he believes our social evolution depends on. His most recent book (2010), Healing Civilization: Bringing Personal Transformation into the Societal Realm through Education and the Integration of the Intra-Psychic Family, is both a continuation of and a turning point in Naranjo's lifelong work. For in this book, which has a foreword by Jean Houston, Naranjo explores what he sees as the root cause of the destruction of human civilization (as evidenced in the 2000s (decade) as war, violence, oppression of women, child abuse, environmental endangerment, etc.)—patriarchy—and brings both the problem and the solution home to an intra-psychic level. Patriarchy, he says, has taken root over millennia in the workings of our own conditioned minds.[citation needed] He also offers a remedy, which derives from the work of Tótila Albert regarding the "triune" being of our nature: the "Inner Father" (corresponding to the head), the "Inner Mother" (corresponding to the heart), and the "Inner Child" (corresponding to the instincts). As people learn to integrate these three "brains", Naranjo believes, they may bring about a functional, even divine, family within. And this, he believes, in addition to transforming education oriented to personal and collective evolution, could bring about the healing of civilization.[citation needed] In the Watkins' Mind Body Spirit Magazine he was listed as one of the 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People of 2012.[7]

In an online course Cynthia Bourgeault had a couple of years ago there was a pretty high standard put forth in the forum there. I found myself breaking that standard time and again. It made me see myself a little better. It was not a very comfortable feeling,,,,, Anyway, this was the standard- The word "respect" literally means "to look twice," and respect is at the core of this fourth Obligolnian striving. Today, after beginning your morning with a period of meditation, I invite you to look at the systems in which you are embedded with intentional respect. Rather than moving too quickly to criticize and judge, you can exercise respect by practicing conscious speech. Before rushing to respond, stop, ground, take a couple of conscious breaths, then ask yourself these four questions: Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said now? Is it my place to say it? Can it be said with kindness? Allow these four precepts to guide your conscious speech today and see what changes you can detect in your relations with the world, both inwardly and outwardly.

@Corpus Thank you! Thank you! Very helpful!

Sedona Arizona would be a cool place to live that has no grass pollen.

I can agree with some of the things he says but Elliot Hulse seems to work himself into a frenzy of cynicism and anger just so he can feed off that energy. Too much unnecessary machismo and negative emotion when looked at closely. For me, anyway,,,

@ValiantSalvatore ?I'm an old fan of Terrence McKenna. What a mind that guy had! Thanks for mentioning the video of Leo talking about machine elves. I haven't seen it. Actually I feel like rewatching all the videos he has made about tripping. I need to check out Martin Ball and his perspectives also. Just vaguely familiar with the name,,,,

I love that quote,,,,

Meditations on the Tarot Page 379; There is what is called in Christian Hermeticism the “freeing of the guardian angel”. The guardian Angel is freed – often in order to be able to acquit new missions—when the soul has acquired the disposition of its part of “likeness” in order to experience the Divine more intimately and more immediately, which corresponds to another hierarchical degree. Then it is an Archangel who replaces the freed guardian Angel. Human beings whose guardian is an Archangel have not only new experiences of the Divine in their inner life, but also, through this very fact, receive a new and objective vocation.

Growing up, it seemed inevitable that if someone was to be made an example of, it would be me no how buried I was in the middle of the crowd. If I had gotten the 2 points, I know it would have stung. So I can empathize with you there. For some reason I can't fault Outlandish, though. I can see how tough it would be to be a moderator at times. Especially if if there is a concerted effort now to reduce the unnecessary argumentiveness and confusion created by those who seem to operate almost solely from imagination. I feel Irreverent banter can add to the lightheartedness of the forum and cushions against false seriousness. I guess there is always a fine line and a gray area and inevitably mistakes are sometimes made.

@mandyjw I wish someone would point out where Leo or any of the Moderators are being unfair or harsh. I've yet to see it for myself. I hope you and Jon stick around. I grew up in the country in a family with a strong work ethic much like the way you describe growing up. I have a lot in common with y'all. Don't get too self conscious on us. Speak from your being and don't worry about it. I'm a writer more than a speaker. Having the intention to express from my being instead of my personality has been something that has helped my communication. Even if I seemingly contradict myself, it doesn't matter when it's spoken from my being because it will be a contradiction I can explain. Your essential being is your treasure. As is Jon's.

@Wisebaxter I appreciate the encouragement. Good idea about the music! It may be something I need to let go of later on if I keep doing trips but I definitely remember hearing the video In the background after I was swallowed up in the first Wave and having that touchstone helped me not to fight it in that one instance. I wish I could remember more because there was definitely more that happened. Those few minutes were really intense. It's also hard to describe that unpleasantness of it also. Between the horrible smell and taste and almost a sense of nausea. For now, disturbing mentally and emotionally and unpleasant physically is my general description of it. It verified that what I did a couple years ago was definately NN dmt. I'm pleased with how quick the recovery was vs my 3 hour trip, though. After about 1 1/2 hour I felt relatively normal. But still, in a subtle sense it feels like I'm still carrying it with me some this evening. One thing I didn't mention was that at the end when I was getting on my feet to look at the clock, there was a drunkenness about me with moderate hallucinations like lsd. Physical objects having a waviness to them. But they went away after 2-3 minutes. I think I'll stick with the 50 mg for the next trip and see how that goes before I think about increasing the amount. Gonna give it a few days. It's all a curiosity thing instead of a pleasurable experience. I sure don't see it as being an addictive activity. Even if it came in strawberry or chocolate flavor ,,,,, it was just unpleasant and WIERD! Trip was about 10 minutes. @ValiantSalvatore I wish you luck if you try it. I've got Rick Straussman's book DMT The Spirit molecule. I think I'll get back into reading that and also pay more attention to what is being reported here on these dmt topic threads. To maybe build in a little more courage. ?

@Zigzag Idiot If Saturnine is teaching the same words as I wrote, it could be an interesting school to follow! I didn't get it as a putdown but I was surprised why you did such a comment about me but now it's clear... I'm seeing the problems of our young generation and I feel pity to us (including myself), that we've been deeply ingrained about what should do and not to do, what is right and what isn't, that makes the younger person prone to any kind of psychological problems (in case of this journal of the topic anxiety and...) So I'm taking that WE ARE 100% FREE to do what we want even it bothers the feelings of our family members! @hamedsf Regarding- So I'm taking that WE ARE 100% FREE to do what we want even it bothers the feelings of our family members! I don't know about that. Seems like there might need to be some gray area there,,,, ?

@hamedsf Just your initial advice to liris had the Saturnine tone to it. - "YOUR MAIN PROBLEM IS THAT YOU're MORALIZING EVERYTHING you're always in your head and overanalyzing everything, you make meaning of every situation in your head, and that could even make matter worse One point, that I wanna make is that we're always in our heads and not fully awake in entire body, there's not right and wrong in this life, and you could do anything you want in your life even the things that your parents are feeling disgusted about! " It wasn't meant as a personal putdown. Just a blunt observation about what appeared to me as a Saturnine essence characteristic. There's no doubt that I can be a dick sometimes, though. You're welcome to question me, respond or offer criticism to my assessment in my Journal. If you care to . Peace, ?‍♂️?

@WorknMan I agree with your assessment. I Just smoked 50 mg of NN dmt in a bubbler. It has a titanium bowl. With the 50 mg in a teaspoon I sat down on the floor of my bedroom, heated the bowl and dumped it in. Smells and tastes like shit. I feel like I got most of it in the first hit but then took a second pull on the bubbler and got a bit more. By the time I set the bubbler down in a metal cookie pan in front of me and leaned back, I was being swallowed up. There was a lot of fear with the loss of normal consciousness along with the stink and bad taste. An immediate recall of the felt sense from a traumatic NN dmt trip from about two years ago when I snorted about the same amount but it produced about a 3 hour trip where this was only about 10 minutes. Generally an uncomfortable and unpleasant experience. Rushing and swirling visuals of geometric shapes. An idea inspired by @ValiantSalvatore Journal. I had Leo's video on Turqoise playing in the background. I'm glad I did because after the loss of normal consciousness with the sense of being swallowed up by the experience and the rush of adrenaline and fear, hearing the video in the background reminded me of what I was doing and to keep my eyes closed, not fight it and relax into it as best I could, which I did. Please excuse the composition here. Red is definitely a color theme here. Similar to my first traumatic trip. Right now I have just a slight headache in addition to a discombobulated feeling. Like I was run over by the devil in an Ice cream truck. I really think I'll have some audio going in the background again next time for helping me to ground and not fight the experience. It's hard to describe the intensity of it and the natural tendency to resist it. In my first trip in addition to everything being red, there was also a near constant sound similar to the discordant sounding Tibetan horns being played. There was no sounds like that in this experience. Whew,,, Intense for sure. Nothing pleasant about it at all. I'm glad it didn't last 3 hours. That's all for now.

As Saturnine essence people influenced by the anterior lobe of the pituitary with its chemistry, it often has us telling people what's what about things. ? Which is also a part of our psychological blind spot. Im not trying to proselytize this system or an ideology. Meant to be taken with a grain of salt,,,,,,, ?‍♂️?

@Proactive ???