Zigzag Idiot

I experimented more with NN dmt today and just left a small report on the NN dmt thread. An interesting side note is that during my trip today the crickets in the background sound I've been hearing for the last year and a half returned during my trip. For the last couple of weeks this phenomena has been more sporadic than normal. The sound also disappeared for a couple of days around the time I first tried Modafinil but appearantly this was coincidental. I know this has to sound weird but it is what it is. For the majority of the time over the last year and a half this has nearly been constant. This hearing a chorus of crickets. It's related to the frontal lobes I feel sure because it seems to get louder when my forehead feels that subtle pulse or pressure which is also more noticeable during Centering Prayer meditation. It seems to coincide more with objectless or non conceptual awareness or maybe states close to,,,, How's that for paradoxical? ?‍♂️ Generally there is more of a heaviness on NN dmt trip days. Something else that I'm just trying to observe more about,,,,

@ 2:38 What Terrence describes as the "Chrysanthemum" is a good description of what I've encountered. By his description this is only half way to a full breakthrough. I tried 50 mg NN dmt again today in a better made device and utilizing a machine ball (copper wire). Using my first machine ball, I added more to it, to make a nice fitting plug in a glass bottle. That's about 4-5 trips or half-trips within the last week. https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=25974 A friend shared this article with me. It's the design I'm working with. Im still trying to get my timing down with heat and inhalation,,,, not to burn it and make it harsh. I barely made it to the Chrysanthemum, today. I felt some fear today with it and just tried to let it be. Overall, it was another interesting episode and learning experience. I'm also questioning the quality of the stuff I have but then again it may be more of my clumsiness in producing good vapors,,, My first trip with this stuff on June 18th was the most intense but also the most unpleasant from the harshness. Today also I noticed a distinct sense/feel that washes over my body that is unique to NN dmt. Words fail me. I'll report back in if or when something interesting happens,,,,

One thing that really struck me from ACIM is Jesus asserting that the only two authentic personal attitudes devoid of ego are peace and joy. I don't remember it being written but I can see either peace or joy also as attributes of Love.

What a nice deep sleep I got after my short trip! I didn't achieved an extreme breakthrough but by loading the machine ball ( compressed ball of copper wire) with the NN dmt, it completely changed the experience. No harsh taste and also a loss of fear about the substance. At one point, I couldn't help but close my eyes as I lay back on my bed and just watch all the almost comical hallucinations. They were very colorful, symmetrical and in constant change. I experienced brief instances of exhilarating Joy. At first it felt like what some refer to as a heavy body load but it seemed to dissapate or transform into a peaceful, relaxed body. The big news for me is the big reduction in fear I now feel about NN dmt. This was a slightly stronger experience than what I had last week. So l think I'm on the right track to being able to get a strong breakthrough experience with a litttle more work on modifying my method and smoking device I load the machine ball into. My days and nights are now completely upside down which in itself is a novel and therapeutic for me. I've always been very clock oriented creature of habit-- wake up at daylight-- eat lunch at noon because it's 12:00--quit work late afternoon-- etc,,,, My new situation allows me to manage my responsibilities with much more flexibility. This also seems to be of help in this kind of experimentation. Had some very interesting visuals (hallucinations) and thoughts before I drifted off into sleep for a solid 8 hours. This Digeradoo hypnotic wave You tube shared by @Keyhole last week was a great piece to have playing during the expierience.

I'm on NN Dmt now. I ts hot outside a a I go t my chores done, i smoked 50 milligrams I a machine ball likefore I s just snorted a mother 30 mg's it getting more difficult to type. Now I'll check back. ,,,,,,

7-9-2019 62. Preponderance of the Small. Line 5 31. Influence

Ha! yeah, that was intentional.

Leo Gura 4-24-1985 4 +2+4+1+9+8+5 = 33 3+3 = 6 Leo has a 33/6 Life Lesson number. 33 is the Christ Vibration number.

Getting into a bathtub with a strong bleach water is about the best. Duct tape is often used The Life lesson number is a person's birthdate added up and reduced down to a single numeral unless it's a Master number. It was a good way to get a feel for this particular number with all the people who I had known any at all with thier birthdate right on thier Gravestone. For me, this particular book is special among all numerology books. Anyone who likes Meditations on the Tarot would probably like this book.

Mother Earth instead of ball earth @Anderz There's some talk in Fourth Way cosmology of the earth as a Being that also has a kedsjan (Astral) body. If I remember right that's supposedly a cause of human meaning. We help complete the Earths Astral body by become "food" for archangels instead of becoming food for the moon (lower Astral realm) or Hell. Some of this I probably mixed up a little wrong but there are interesting ideas around this and different things to be read on different Fourth Way websites. With some pure bullshit mixed in no doubt at times,,,

@mandyjw I wouldn't worry about the tick. We have tons of them in Arkansas and and I've known only a handful of people who have gotten Lyme disease. I dread chiggers and seed ticks worse. Seed ticks are super tiny and often swarm onto a person by the dozens. Chiggers are so small you can't see them and create a terrible itch. Some people put sulfur in thier work boots which absorb through the sweaty feet which makes one less palatable to biting critters. I used to hang out in cemeteries sometimes and do the numerology of people I knew who had passed from the dates on their gravestones.

@Marc Schinkel it's pretty much close to being that way! ? I lived on Ramen noodles for years but finally gave them up. My diet is still terrible.

@Marc Schinkel For a refrigerator reminder, Turiyatita is probably better.

I experience ego structures often trying to stake a claim as a part of the identity of the witness or witnessing state. This seems common for many on the path. Turiya is a good word to write on your refrigerator. https://youtu.be/zSafhz0qfwU

7-6-2019 33. Retreating/Hiding. Lines 1, 4 and 5 18. Recognizing and Correcting the Causes of Decay

This is a very deep spiritual Truth I feel compelled to relay. Not to be overly dramatic but I wanted to preface it with a certain gravity. Ok, here goes: We fall down. We get back up. We fall down. We get back up.

Cynthia Bourgeault fits the Category not to mention Bernadette Roberts who she has often referenced in the past as being one of the deepest contemporary nondual realized beings in regard to Christ Consciousness.

Reminds me of the phrase post coital depression.

7-5-2019 20 Seeing Line 1 42 Increasing Hints from changing line 1- There goes my Peter Pan Weltonshuung again,,,, What stage is Elliot Hulse at? Zigzag Idiot replied to Cody_Atzori's topic in Self-Actualization Posted 1 hour ago Maybe by some miracle Trump and Elliot Hulse will take a heavy dmt trip together and both have the deep realization of having for the whole of their lives been employing grandiosity as a defence mechanism for shielding against inadequacy. Maybe even hold a joint press conference where they have a good cry and try to start hugging and apologizing to everyone. ?? That would be a really good press conference. "To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas "We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

Maybe by some miracle Trump and Elliot Hulse will take a heavy dmt trip together and both have the deep realization of having for the whole of their lives been employing grandiosity as a defence mechanism for shielding against inadequacy. Maybe even hold a joint press conference where they have a good cry and try to start hugging and apologizing to everyone. ?? That would be a really good press conference.

7-4-2019 23. Splitting Apart. Lines 1 and 3 22. Grace Council from changing line 3 ,,,,,, This Line also refers to a person who splits from using power to correct wrongs, and instead employs the inner No, thus engaging the Helpers of the invisible world.

NN dmt experiments I had a no ordinary day. When I got out of bed this morning I spontaneously decided on a NN dmt trip while my stomach was completely empty. I tried anther method based on the following article. https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=25974 Actually the first attempt was through a store bought Vaporizer borrowed from a friend. The battery failed in it and so I quickly improvised the homemade version. I also lost the " machine ball" as well made from copper with the first attempt and so I had to make another one of those. On the second attempt I got that certain feeling, some pressure in my head and a lots of of hallucinations. I was attempting mindfulness going into this with just a curious but witnessing kind of conscious state. Just keeping my eyes open but also not fighting it. No breakthrough on the second attempt even though a powerfully felt experience. Using the same machine ball I loaded another 50 mg into it and went a third time. About the same kind of similar short trip resulted though. One good result from this morning is a big reduction in fear around NN dmt. Although there was still a heaviness produced in me in what I experienced. It was interesting instead of frightening and the smoke is not near as harsh. Although I couldn't get the machine ball to work for me this morning, I plan on trying it again. I'll give a trip report in the NN dmt subforum later on,,, I went back to bed and slept the whole day. Before I tripped I was reading journals well before daylight and was really struck by the profundity of this following post by @Ero which I felt compelled to respond too and also a new journal started by @bmcnicho . After the dmt experience, all significance about things in general changed including my immediate felt need for communicating. @Ero's post - YOU'LL NEVER THINK OF BURNOUT THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN What is interesting is our approach to/ perception of fatigue/burnout- When I just let those sensations without a judgmental tone I can see that they are extremely pleasant sensations of stillness (uncomfortable if we persist on "working")- A way of the body to experience itself whole and return to its center. A following insight showed me that the fatigue happens when we are not just alert but trying to escape/ get out of our bodies - aka escape sensations (hyperactivity from DH )....Daaamn. Daaamn. Mindfuuuucked. Burnout and fatigue is the way the universe/ our body forces us to look back into our essence - they are the result if we're denying that essences by chasing superficial stuff (projections of our belief system) - Energy is a consequence of consciousness (the potentiality expands parallel with consciousness by definition). We describe that shit dismissively as burnout and exhaustion when in fact they are OUR CALL. Now you know why LP is so important. Now you know why there are tireless individuals. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE: It's not the actions that burn you out. You can do whatever without burning out IF THE STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS FROM WHICH YOU DO IT IS ACCEPTING AND INCLUSIVE. That's why following your excitement/passion is so important. Because they are high frequency (from a space of inclusiveness). With dissolving of beliefs that passion expands and, as we previously mentioned, collapses into devoted service of God. I have a lot of catching up to do on reading everyone's journal,,,,, from the last day or so,,,

Im absolutely going to have to read this one . Thomas Keating was a mentor to Cyhthia Bourgeault. Two of her books I really like: Thanks @Bill W

Thanks, @DrewNowsIf you're having a good laugh then at least I'm doing something somewhat beneficial. ??‍♂️?