Zigzag Idiot

@Eden I appreciate this thread! The last few days I've been going through from the beginning and sampling a lot of the songs. I really enjoyed The Twenty One Pilots version of the old Elvis song. That guy can really sing! This is a song I've enjoyed a lot over the years that really speaks to me about the interference in process of Actualization and how much time is wasted in having the disease of - I'll do it tomorrow,,, Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town Waiting for someone or something to show you the way. Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain. You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older, Shorter of breath and one day closer to death. Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way The time is gone, the song is over, Thought I'd something more to say. Home Home again I like to be here When I can When I come home Cold and tired It's good to warm my bones Beside the fire Far away Across the field Tolling on the iron bell Calls the faithful to their knees To hear the softly spoken magic spell

@DrewNows ACIM is an acronym for A Course In Miracles https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/

Thanks @Marc Schinkel One which helped turn a light on for me was:

Thanks @DrewNows Glad you liked it. This morning when I watched this I was a little blown away. Still am, in a way. Hippie turned evangelical turned mystic. There are more of these lineages from eastern Christian Orthodoxy than I was aware of. This mystic branch of Christianity looks just like the Sufis, the mystical branch of Islam. Each heavy into meditation. I think the most commonly known form of Christianity has built triggers into many of us through unconscious conditioning. Shame triggers,,,, The idea of being stained by sin, which is a false premise. ACIM also basically teaches this is why we unconsciously psychologically project onto others. This inner shadow needs for there to be a scapegoat when no scapegoat is actually needed. It perpetuates shadow and causes people to feed on negative emotions. This of course is based on my interpretations,,,,

Just out on Ted Nottinghams channel - Oh Wow! Too many synchronicities,,,,,,, This guy is practically in my backyard, from Missouri. A transformed former evangelical Protestant. Orthodox Christianity through the desert Mothers and Fathers,,,,,, The backbone of today's Contemplative Christianity. Comments welcome. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Fathers

Martin Butler is telling a deep truth and pissing people off. Dont watch this if you're depressed or in a bad space.

@Theresa Me too! Therefore, I change my mind. A Course In Miracles The standard version combined with the regular text is great but a few months ago I learned of a new annotated edition. It footnotes all things related in the Course material to Jesus' Teaching in the New Testament. It also has a glossary and other features you can read about on the link below. Being that it weighs about 4 lbs., on a deserted island it could also serve double as a seat or worktable. Similar to Yogananda's experience with Jesus Christ. The Christ encountered in ACIM is more like a well meaning, loved by all big brother who would enter a farting contest if it served to help someone's understanding. Not a Being who is interested in being worshiped. https://circle-of-atonement.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/a-course-in-miracles-complete-and-annotated-edition For those who are really curious in different perspectives on Christianity the following video may be of interest. I'm not sold on everything he says but it has some good food for thought.

? Self absorption is how I'm a torture to the world at times. When it ceases, everything is ok. Presence of Being as Absolute Stillness Peace: It is not an emotional state or merely the absence of conflict; it is rather the presence of stillness, which is an aspect of Essence. It is the Presence of Being as absolute stillness and calmness. This stillness is not experienced as dull or vague, but as an exquisitely alive kind of consciousness. Peace involves the cessation of the torturous ego activity, with its hopes, and desires, efforts and resistances. That is why it is often equated with ego death. Peace is actually both death and life in the same consciousness. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 313

If If I could only write a 2/3's long page paragraph that would make people lose their minds in bliss. That's my dream. That is something I've repeatedly thought about over the years. After having gone through the impermanent bliss states of good relationships and sex, alcohol buzzes, cannabis highs, successes in occupation, or the magical-ness of other substances. Also after making it thru deficient times of depression, suicidal-ness, dread, shame, hatred of self and others, and generally experiencing life on earth as consisting of several actual low middle layers of hell realms. But this state of being that I talk about conveying to others through the threshold of God Realization is not one I have permanent attainment of. As only a seeker of truth myself, the memory of the experience of there being no problems and nothing is wrong in a fully present state and also a brief connection with the voice of continual revelation. But perhaps before my Automaton wears down and konks out, and if an opening and reconnection does happen to produce a bridge of words in the form of that 2/3 page paragraph. That would fulfill one of my wildest dreams. Everyone who had an IQ over 80 regardless of whatever kind of life they had lived when after reading this document would all be overcome with goofy grins. Some others might maybe begin to sing or start taking off their clothes and from that time on the world would be transformed. And those whose IQ were under 80 would be brought up into that realm by the ingenuity of a recently transformed world culture. That's one of my wildest dreams. Just thought I'd share it. I know many will view this as a symptom of being grandiose but why not? It's a dream. ?‍♂️

Watched this yesterday. It's good.

Years ago out of the blue I said to my mother. "You know, stupid people don't realize they're stupid." It was one of the times I her remember being awestruck, in a sense. She Even quotes me on that on occasion through the years as she did at a Sunday dinner a couple of weeks ago. At the time I was mostly saying it in reference to someone else but also felt the tinge of how it also applied to me. I'm not just talking about intellectual intelligence but also emotional. I personally am most afflicted with a lack of social intelligence but primarily when there's more than 3 people. Chances are if I'm suddenly in a group of people, my Aspergers switch gets turned on, as a way to express it. These Aspergers type symptoms It would seem to fall under the category of emotional intelligence but it doesn't seem that way with me. I love connecting to people one on one and feel pretty solid about intuiting things about them if their in my presence. Especially more so here in the past couple years. Crowds just make me uneasy. Realizing my stupidity I have come to realize has deeper layers. Like passive aggressiveness, and schadenfreude I have found deeper layers to. This has meant finding forgiveness for myself when I run into some of this stuff. The opening of Leo's Conscious Politics started off with a couple of quotes that reminded me of the valuable capacity to forgive or apologize to others when appropriate.

Your reasons for appreciating Culdasa's method is similar to my reasons with Centering Prayer meditation. What I thought was a wise saying I heard from someone who had long been in the Work said- "We have to make the work our own. We have to find our own way in a sense."

Self Actualization journal can be a good tool. They can serve to highlight our discontinuity of consciousness. The call to awaken is louder when the dream we are living turns into a nightmare. It's not an easy task to stay present. For all the silent lurkers out there reading who have considered starting a Journal,,,, Do it! Just start one,,,,,, Only add to it when you decide to. Use a journal to help you stay present.

I am you. I was raised in love but it was a disguised love that consisted of a fearful God and my parents were raised similarly. What got me over my anger at them was seeing the greater tragity of their longer lived in those vested interests (identifications) . With only 1 parent and 1 95 year old grandmother left alive. They dont see. They live in a mid realm hell. The guilt you have is superego phenomena. That's argued sometimes as the first thing to address in spiritual work. Thank you for sharing. Hope I've said something helpful. ?

In Abraham Maslow's famous hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is located at the very top of the pyramid, representing the need to fulfill one's individual potential. According to Maslow, peak experiences play an important role in self-actualization. Self-actualization is actually considered quite rare, which means that peak experiences can be equally elusive. Not all people reach the peak of Maslow's pyramid. In one study, researchers found that only about two-percent of individuals surveyed had ever had a peak experience. Peak experiences are not restricted solely to self-actualized individuals, however. Maslow believed that all people are capable of having these moments, but he also felt that self-actualized people were likely to experience them more often. More from the article this was taken from: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-peak-experiences-2795268 from another article of peak performance---- TRIUNE Health Group's Peak Performance newsletter is built on the simple concept that the accomplishment of all our goals comes from creating the right foundation from which each of us can then march forward. Goals are achieved and reached when the individual seeking to do so is empowered with the right tools. Whether that entails perseverance, courage, or even humor, virtues are good habits that put our values to work and leave us happier. Aristotle once said that "a virtuous person does the right thing at the right time." And so TRIUNE Health Group presents Peak Performance to help each of us professionally and personally to achieve those goals.

I'm with both of you. I loved the book but have never completely resolved all of my inner disparities with it. Yogananda's humor and enthusiasm in his writing is very infectious. I only read it about 3 years ago and want to read it again. For me, the big takeaway is his view of Christ. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Second_Coming_of_Christ_(book)

I wish I understood Astrology better. I intuit something going on here. We're still in a Mercury retrograde period for a couple of more weeks. Nearly all my planets are stacked up in the 8th house which is ruled by Mercury. I'm not even sure if I phrased that right. https://www.astrologyhoroscopereadings.com/mobile/mobile-2019-mercury-retrograde-calendar.html

I'm a little bit of bad and a little bit of good. Weird seems to always get 3rd place ,,,,,

Claudio Naranjo says the Patriarchy that we were conditioned to has warped us all. An excerpt from his Wikipedia page: Since the late 1980s, Naranjo had divided each year between his activities abroad and his writing at home in Berkeley. Among his many publications, he revised an early book on Gestalt therapy and published two new ones. He published three books on the Enneagram of Personality, as well as The End of Patriarchy, which is his interpretation of social problems as the expression of a devaluation of the nurturance and human instinct and their solution in the harmonious development of our "three brained" potential. He also published a book on meditation, The Way of Silence and the Talking Cure, and Songs of Enlightenment on the interpretation of the great books of the West as expressions of "the inner journey" and variations on the "tale of the hero". https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claudio_Naranjo Ive followed my neediness and it seems to lead here,,,?

7-25-2019 57 The Penetrating. Line 4: Remorse vanishes. ,,,,,,,,,, 1. Cosmic Consciousness There is a lot written about Hexagram 1 and Hexagram 2. The Judgement for Hexagram 1 - The Cosmic Consciousness is great through its interpenetration of all things, it discerns what feels harmonious and brings it into form through transformation. "Cosmic Consciousness" is the name the Sage gives the aggregate consciousness of the Cosmos. It is the invisible origin of all the things that exist in form as Nature. Nature is the primary way in which the Cosmic Consciousness manifests. All things that exist in Nature are compressed Cosmic Consciousness, and are unique aspects of it. ,,,,,,,,,,,,, Later in the commentary it says when a person receives Hexagram 1 without changing lines, it is a message to remind him that he is an equal part of the Cosmic Whole. This means that while he is unique, he is not special. Just as humankind is not "chosen" or distinguished among animals. No individual human or group is considered to be elite or heroic. It tells him that if he will take his proper place in the Cosmic Whole by saying the inner No to the delusion he is special, he will put himself back into the Cosmic stream of chi energy ( his source of creativity, nourishment, help, and healing) from which he has become separated. Being separated also means he is no longer in contact with the Sage, the Cosmic Teacher. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Putting attention of physicality of your feet to disperse attentionf rom my

Linguistic awareness is maybe synonymous with narrative consciousness “The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - from Cynthia Bourgeault's book- Is Being is more than a combination of thinking and feeling? What is awareness in relation thinking and feeling? Being human means having a body to sense the physical world. To halt the flow of narrative consciousness and experience being is to encounter the oceanic experience, a simple love of existence itself. More tuned into context rather than content. Balance mind with more heart, perhaps. So I've had this song stuck in my head lately during periods of narrative consciousness. song lyrics- you can count on me ,,, you can count on my love,,, My Inquiry has shown me the complete opposite and although the inspiring tone is felt when enjoying the song. The super ego then attacks with - "yeah, you know how you really are, selfish",,,, talk high ideals and don't deliver,,, Its not an easy thing to sit with, the Truth. Another quote by Maurice Nicoll concerning the subject of narrative consciousness- Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683. Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time. Two a day Centering Prayer helps me maintain that space within the hedge and the gate. Kenosis- Letting go or emptying the mind. Sweeping the auditorium stage of the mind. Mind as element of awareness for allowing an uncluttered space,,,?

I've been in non linguistic state of awareness the last couple of days. It's not objectless or non conceptual but there seems to be a higher than normal percentage of those conditions.This hasn't been a continual nonliguistic state either. When it happens, It's the place of no words. Hopefully in a day or two I can write some words about the place of no words,,,,

A lot of people who misunderstand me would say that I would argue with a stump. What they don't realize I Im just a friend to the stump enguaging in conversation and playing the role of devils' advocate.