Arman

@greenleafx Ok very cool share and you bring up some really cool points that I haven't thought about a lot. I struggle with keeping posts short so apologies for another lengthy one!! I can't help it. (honest) You articulated some of the different perspectives or methods towards the 'practice' well. There seem to be a lot of different ways that it's packaged. Even when describing what the practice is doing at its deepest levels I think gets a bit vague. Whether it's letting go, releasing, integrating, healing the inner child, etc. It's hard to actually know what's really happening, and I suspect that the truth of it is a bit of a mystery, so I think these processes each come with a kind of unique "packaging" in order to help us look in the right direction or try to make sense of it. All that we know is that on some level we are transforming. Different packaging also seems to be fit for different temperaments and different stages of the journey. From my experience it is not about whether a teaching or practice is high or low, good or bad, the effectiveness is going to depend on the person it's reaching. What we may call letting go someone else might simply call prayer. They too ask for healing, they too release on the subject. Like describing the very essence of 'what you're supposed to do' when you do the practice is hard to explain sometimes, but what makes sense to me or to you might make no sense to somebody else. I think that 'being present', 'softening your focus', 'letting go', 'surrendering', 'holding the uneasy feeling', 'being with your inner child' are all the same sign posts to what is essentially the same fundamental mechanism, at least that's how it has felt for me. All the methodologies seem to try to make sense of what's happening from a different angle. For example I think that the model of healing the inner child is a great one. It makes sense to me, because it seems that much of the emotional blocks or the "stuff" that needs releasing is related to childhood traumas. They are like moments stuck in time. The visualizations of returning to your inner child and loving and holding them gently is beautiful to me, and I think it is allowing people to feel and return to emotions and parts of themselves that they have resisted for a long time. I've done this practice in the past and thought it was amazing. I think it helped me learn about myself. So while the 'content' of the various kinds of packaging all seem to point to the same thing, the context in which they are presented is different, and I think that context may be effective or ineffective for a person depending on where they're at. Like one of my earlier introductions to the process was through Teal Swans 'shadow work', which again I think is using the same mechanism. I would dedicate hours to 'healing', and I feel like I made some good inner leaps, but it also felt unsustainable and gave me the sense that I would be healing forever. Maybe at some point we don't want to think of our inner child as our hurt innocence, but instead want to see it solely as a bright light and continue to grow in another way. If that's the case, at that point it would be wise to switch packaging/paradigms. I also like Matt Kahns method of just repeating 'I love you' again and again to oneself. Sounds weird but I think for some it just works, and allows them to be with themselves. Loving yourself seems to activate that mechanism, too. Also maybe there's some other magic going on with that practice, lol. Who knows. When I say whether particular packaging is 'ineffective or effective' I'm mostly referring to to our ability to make the practice sustainable and to be able to contextualize the inevitable challenges that arise. After all it is of limited use to be gung-ho on a practice for a week or two then to forget about it. It is also of limited use to engage in a practice, get temporary gains, then be confused and even heartboken that it seems we are still falling victim to our old patterns, just when we thought we had finally outrun unhappiness. One of the problems I have found with this work is that we start to wise up to the emotional charges that arise, but they get more subtle in their trickery. What seems to happen is that the very fear, confusion, grief, hurt, etc that we are releasing begins to attach itself to the very idea of the process that we're doing. We do some healing, some growth, release some worries, then they seem to increase and it's confusing and it seems sure that we're failing or the process isn't working. "This isn't working." "Things have gotten worse." "I'm angry yet again." "Sigh... Every time I get hopeful, life makes me more miserable." In actuality, we are striking deeper at the core of what is unravelling and at this point it is wise to turn the very process yet again onto what is arising. It is a very common pitfall, and an example of something that research and context could help one to avoid and overcome. These methods have both important short term and long term benefits. I think ideally our focus and intent is held gently on both. It's also typical that we become so tunnel visioned with the discomforts and suffering that arises in the moment that we just don't see how much progress we've made. That we aren't quite as fearful as we used to be. That we have more courage, more ability to love, and that when we become depressed, maybe we are only depressed for a few days instead of two weeks. Good gains. So again, some courage, ability to zoom out our focus and to see the whole journey, and to understand what kind of gains we can expect to make are qualities of an effective context or packaging. That's why I think good research and checking out different teachers can be useful, because knowledge tends to make our ability to practice more sustainable. thanks for letting me ramble on a subject I love

For sure the Sedona Method is an amazing toolkit everyone should have in their arsenal. I haven't actually studied this exact methodology personally but I know of it through methods that are based on it, use similar techniques or use the same central mechanism. From my experience, the use of these techniques are one of the answers to the question of 'how can I make continuous spiritual/developmental gains even off of the meditation cushion?' In my understanding, the primary mechanism is allowing unconditional presence (acceptance of emotions and energy as they arise) which facilitates the automatic release of internal blockages. The 'release' of these emotions is very simple. It is as simple as letting go of a weight we've been holding in our hands, and because it is so deceptively simple, most of us have a resistance to the process. There is a kind of unwillingness. That is where accessory add-on techniques like verbal/written exploration of a subject or asking ourselves questions like 'could I let this go?' come in handy, as they give us an effective door-way into the simple and fundamental process of release/healing. From my understanding The Sedona Method provides different door-ways and techniques into 'letting go' I'll illustrate its use and an alternate way of viewing it for anyone interested in reading more on the subject: A teacher I'm fond of talks about this field in terms of intention and counter-intention. An intention can be something like making money, or being in a good relationship, or losing weight, being healthy, wanting to write a book, etc. Anything really. Think about something you would really like to experience and that would evoke some excitement. If you stay on that subject for long enough and feel into it, reflect it into your life and even take action on it, it will only be a matter of time before some kind of 'counter intention' within you pops up in the form of thoughts, feelings, events, etc. Counter intentions are anything that do not support the effortless alignment with your intention. Self defeating thoughts, opposing realities, cynicism, contractions or feeling bad in the body, fatigue, powerlessness, etc. Counter intentions can take an endless variety of forms. Even strong desire (neediness) is a counter-intention because it holds the experience that you want at bay from you. If it is a particularly 'charged' subject for you, then counter-intentions may rise immediately. These are manifestations of a blockage and they exist within you. If they did not exist, then you would effortlessly align with the realities that you desire, after all, if nothing internally was stopping you, why would you not align with that reality? You would overcome barriers and move towards your goals with confidence. Counter intentions can be seen on the psychological level, but from a deeper perspective they are linked to physiological energies within the body as contractions. The problem with trying to overcome counter-intentions is mistakenly trying to change our environment or cover-up the counter-intention with more thoughts, actions or behaviors, or simply giving up. This is the method of trying to wipe a spot off your face by cleaning the mirror. By recognizing that the barriers are within, they can be released, and one experiences effortless expansion in different areas of life. So let's say your intention is to make money. By simply having an intention, it automatically evokes the counter-intentions held within you. Some of those counter-intentions may be beliefs such as being rich makes you a bad person (guilt), or that once you have money certain people in your life may reject you (fear), or believing that you won't be happy until you have it (strongly charged desire). Most counter-intentions are indoctrinated belief systems inherited by others when we're young. These counter-intentions arise spontaneously, and unless dealt with, they will wear you down and avert you from your goals. This is partly because these counter-intentions are identities of the ego, and the ego only seeks to preserve its sense of reality. So instead of trying to make money by battling through counter-intention after counter-intention and making it an up-hill battle, you can explore your counter intentions through something like The Sedona Method, and accept them/be with them unconditionally. Then, the very physiological root of the counter-intention becomes dissolved, and suddenly where there was doubt, struggle or fear, there is an expansion of awareness and you can see your previous reality for what it was: illusion. The most fascinating part about the process is discovering that clearing up counter-intentions (aka releasing internal blockages) on certain subjects has a universal effect on your experience. Meaning if you release fear on a specific subject, it is not only your experience with that subject that changes, because if you release fear on one subject, you have actually released some fear on all subjects that you've been holding on a deep level, and so you become less fearful overall in general. This release mechanism can also be done effortlessly and on the fly with anything that arises. If anyone's interested in more on that subject you can read Letting Go by David R Hawkins. I like that book, but there are others on the subject. These processes facilitate that same kind of purification of the nervous system that meditation does, which is a gradual release of contraction and subtle traumas of the nervous system, which in turn allows spontaneous raising of consciousness. This is the path of surrender. Before understanding these principles, difficulties in life, negativity and anything that opposes your desires are perceived as negative, and as keeping you from what you want. After practicing these principles and methods, they are instead understood to be the perfect stepping stones that are opportunities to move closer to what you want, So that may have been a bit of an elaborate explanation... but I think it's a deeply fascinating subject and people can mistake it for some kind of a psychological trick or positive thinking. It is in my experience one of the fastest routes to expanding in different areas of your life.

I just watched this video on the subject and I enjoyed it. Wanting to share it here:

It takes long-term practice and persistence to establish that state firmly into your experience as a constant. but if you want to just activate it and consciously enter it that experience... just do it. Focus on an object and release into the moment. Or defocus your attention entirely and release into the moment.

If that's true, no wonder he talked so goddamn slow.

The problem is that there are so many lower state of consciousness that are cheap mimics of higher consciousness. That's why people can take some 'lite' spiritual truths, meditate a little bit and think they've reached enlightenment, when all they've reached is a state of ineffective apathy. From the outside it looks almost just like someone who is genuinely enlightened. That's what you call a zen devil.The naive can even be tricked into thinking these people are high consciousness enlightened beings. People think MDMA brings you into a space of unconditional love, when at best it is a cheap mimic. Real unconditional love doesn't come with an exhausting crash and create craving. People think they have stumbled onto all kinds of spiritual truths and have broken through the matrix with entheogens - perhaps it is a step up from the usual experience but these experiences often cause people to become so attached to their 'new' reality and this much attachment does more harm than good. It makes letting it go for a higher paradigm more difficult. It is possible to take psychedelics and take great use from them with far less risk if you are at a certain level of awareness, consciousness and self mastery, but the irony is that when you are that point, they aren't that useful for you anymore anyway. Psychedelics also create a lot of impact on the energetic system and can cause people to become unbalanced. It is true that meditation and any consciousness work can have negative effects anywhere from mild discomfort to full blown psychosis, but my observation has been that those who engage in consciousness work and meditation generally seem to become more effective in life, where as those too heavily invested in psychedelics talk a big game, but on the whole I personally observe that there is no reliable increase in the more important barometers of spiritual growth: being emotionally grounded, being effective in the world, being genuinely loving in your basic actions a not just your preaching. etc. That's my two cents. I become concerned with those freely promote psychedelics like candy - but I don't discredit the use of them entirely either. I also think that sometimes certain souls are just meant to have certain experiences or tremendous shifts and this can come through psychedelics or similar experiences, as the life changing transformations of some through ayahuasca, iboga or other substances can't be denied. Some drugs are just better than others, too. I don't have experience in 5meo, it's possible that it is an exception to the discussion.

I want to be unrestricted in my creative expression.

This may help

I'm also enlightened now... feels like... a bag of sand.

When you examine most arguments (and actually most discussions) from a less emotionally biased perspective, you'll discover that much of our talk is completely frivolous, at least in regards to the things we think conversations are useful for. People think it is about right and wrong, about knowledge, about objectivity; for the most part that's all horseshit and we're mostly just monkeys trying to arm-wrestle each other, but we've discovered so many subtle ways to do it. (edit: like this post for example is me secretly trying to feel good about myself by trying to be 'right' about something) I don't think 'not taking a side' in an argument is a bad thing unless you're doing it from a place of fear or in-authenticity. Sometimes taking a strong stance is only you giving into your ego because you hope to have something to gain, and then lie to yourself in saying that it's the 'right' thing to do. So much discussion, debate, arguments, and entire social movements are built upon the grounds that it is 'right' and that if it is the truth, humanity must hear it, for the betterment of all! If you ask me, people are just jerking themselves off. Right and wrong become catch phrases used as excuses to be angry, fearful, or to put down others to make ourselves feel safe. This behavior is born out of dysfunction and only serves to create more social dysfunction. The more you become less invested in approval seeking and needing people to see you in a certain way, the more these responses will become your best friends: "Yeah, maybe." "Haven't thought about it that way." "That's interesting." "I don't know." And if anyone faults you for not obliging by social convention and picking red or blue, use it as an opportunity to be strong in yourself. The reason they're upset and trying to trigger you into taking a stance is because if you're not playing the game, they can't get their fix and dopamine kick by having someone to agree or disagree with.

Get a month of Kindle Unlimited. Costs roughly the price of 1 book and you get access to thousands of good books.

They're also fun as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Not much, you?

I have no experienced these kind of hardships so I am not in much of a position to give advice, but supposedly boundless energy and joy are not products of our environment, but of our inner condition and willingness to meet life. Maybe it is possible to be very, very happy even under circumstances that would crush others. Perhaps these challenges will serve as your opportunity to explore and see if it's true. Maybe it is true, maybe it isn't, but if your family circumstances are not going to change soon, then I hope you find the courage and strength to find out.

Check out Thomas Campbell. He has lots of talks and lectures on youtube - he is also author of the book/trilogy 'My Big Toe' (Theory of everything). He'll be right up your alley if you have the sufficient passion and patience.

Without drugs it is impossible, unfortunately. fortunately for you I am offering a 20% discount for seekers and first purchase is free

I've always figured that above a certain level of development/consciousness and you probably wouldn't be spending time on a forum lol. So this is mostly a collection of seekers.

There are certain muscular contractions or blockages/areas of tightness in our bodies, usually due to emotional and developmental traumas. It's possible that this is what you are experiencing. For the most part they are unconscious but meditation can bring them to the surface. Tightness and awkwardness in the breathing is not uncommon. There is no quick fix - these things are dissolved slowly through awareness. Takes some time. It may be challenging on your meditation, but challenge is not necessarily a bad thing. By being with these sensations, you are undoing long-held physiological programming and it has far reaching effects on well-being. In regards to difficulty sleeping, meditation can be very energetically stimulating. I personally cannot meditate before sleeping or I have trouble falling asleep, and then when I do sleep, it will be a very uneasy experience through the night. The most simple solution and the advice that was given is to simply make do your evening practice earlier in order to allow the temporary 'buzz' of the practice to subside. Try late afternoon. I also suggest that after you do your meditation, you lay down for ten minutes to rest. This might seem funny as meditation in itself can be seen as restful, but it can also be highly stimulating. Ten minutes of laying down in an unfocused and gentle way can help relax these energies and prevent being sensitivity later. If you're finding it difficult to practice earlier because of work constraints or otherwise, you may also have to experiment with shortening the practice to find a balance that works. If you're having difficult sleeping, there's probably already a lot shifting within.

If you're god, then how many fingers am I holding up right now?

The traditional explanation is that pain and suffering are not one in the same. For example if you were to stub your toe, then you would feel physical pain, but how much it will cause you to suffer, if at all, is up to you. One person stubs his toe and screams to the heavens. He punches a door, and spends the next hour complaining. The next day he tells his co-workers about it, even though the physical experience has long since subsided. He is still choosing to suffer from the experience long after it has occurred. Alternatively, the same person may stub his toe, and because he is well practiced in mindfulness, his reflexive response is to still his body and mind and allow the experience to arise. He feels the pain as it radiates through his toe into his foot, stays with it and allows it to subside. Was it really so bad? He goes about his day. Generally speaking, most of the suffering in life is not 'inherent' so much as it is resistance to something that is occurring. This can be discovered by taking note of the things that trigger you and cause you suffering, and by injecting mindfulness into the experience the next time it occurs. It is by pushing against the experience that suffering and attachment arise, and this experience of resistance can compound upon itself the more mind energy is placed into it. Eventually one believes that the object of suffering is outside when really it is the attitude, focus and resistance that is being unconsciously chosen that causes the suffering. Initially when engaging in meditation and mindfulness practice, it is possible that one becomes more aware of the suffering that has been suppressed, but that very awareness begins to unravel it. As a general rule, when clear focus/awareness is placed on love and happiness, the happiness increases, and when it is placed on suffering, the suffering releases. The dynamics of why it should be this way become clearer as you practice. It is one of the miracles of life.

Love is real, Real is love

Don't be discouraged if trying to talk to her directly about it does not work. I'm not saying it won't. It depends on where she is at. Higher teachings are ineffective and abrasive depending on where a person is at. For example, trying to help your mother find her life purpose would be fruitless right now, depending on what her base level is. One simply does not have the energy to focus on life purpose when they are not yet meeting basic needs and do not have any reserve of self love, and are not taking basic care of their body. Trying to help her look at her way of thinking, mind states, and encouraging her to do consciousness work have the possibility to be ineffective and create more tension. Think of how willing or unwilling we ourselves can become when we are having a bad day - then consider what it would be to be stuck at those levels chronically. When people are in particular low states, sometimes we must meet them closer to where they're at. I do not have much experience with helping people in very low states so I can't offer much advice specifically, but what I can suggest is that while we hope for and perhaps even expect certain LEAPS of growth with our ideas and intentions, leaps of growth are the exception when it comes to healing. Most growth happens incrementally. The best way to help her shift is to love her more. Judge her less, and be more practical and down to earth about uplifting. When she slowly improves and shifts level to level, then and only then will higher techniques become effective. Until then, things like having a cleaner household, having positive casual conversations, hugging her, holding her hand, inviting her to activities and calling her more will likely have more effectiveness in "raising her vibration" than an intervention would. Again, the specifics of what would help her are outside of my scope of knowledge. Perhaps suggestions from a social worker or those who have experience with AA may be helpful. I hope you understand the main point I am trying to make, which is that the highest and purest 'teaching' and technique is not always going to be the most effective, in fact it can be completely ineffective. Something that is true at a higher level is simply not true for her. Higher and more direct is not necessarily better. What is better is meeting people closer to where they're at with consistent effort, love, and willingness to dedicate ourselves and not aim higher than what the moment demands. Thank you for your willingness to help your mother. EDIT: On a side note, I want you to really consider this approach and its implications Changing for our loved one's can be a motivator and leverage for change, but this again requires a baseline of energy and courage. If she does not have this energy, then you are simply saying 'who you are is hurting us' but then, is that really a statement coming from a place of love, or is it turning it back to you? if she feels unable to change with this motivation, it is like a kind of emotional blackmail, and compounding the negativity of her state "if you do not change, we will suffer" this has some energy potential to uplift, but this is but one of many approaches, there are many different levels of statements, each with varying levels of energy, effectiveness, relevance. "if you do not change, we will suffer" "if you do not change, things won't improve" "if you do not change, things may not improve" "if you change, maybe you will feel better" "if you change, you will feel better" "I hope you change" "I hope you shift, because I like to see you happy" "I love you, even though it sometimes hurts me to see you this way" "I love you, and I want you to be happy" "I love you as you are, may you be happy" Can you feel into the difference each statement has? It is not that any statement is better or worse than another, It is simply up to you to calibrate relative to where you and her are to decide what is most effective. Speaking reflexively based on your own emotions may do more harm than good unless you can do it very consciously. Finally, do not make the mistake of thinking that loving someone as they are will keep them as they are. In fact, resisting who they are will keep them as they are. This is energetic law. Discover it experientially.

Yeah my post was a bit assumptive. My bad.

I'm guessing your hesitation is because the retreats are saying 18+ ? Try e-mailing the centres, state a bit of your history and declare your willingness to commit and ask them if they can make an exception with the permission of your parents (which I'm guessing they would need).