Ayla

I have been watching your other post here @Navyissuedwife: If I may, I would suggest you to look very closely at the resemblance between how your father made you feel, and how your husband makes you feel. Your husband is just the mirror of an unresolved wound. Before you start beating yourself up - know that there is NO EXCEPTION in the human relationships. We all marry our most toxic parent. Universe is so loving, so that it puts right under your nose, the opportunity to heal yourself.

If you give us your house mates phone number, we can call them and convince them to throw the TV out the window? Seriously now. Buy a paper TV program and circle what you want to watch and stick with that. Start with 5 minutes meditation per day, but do it EVERY DAY> First build the consistency, then increase the time

@Huz88 , Search on youtube for Mooji

@OceanJjb , I will be 40 in 2 months I do not feel old at all. Actually, I feel great! I have been where you are, in that state. I have spent 8 months in my room - sometimes under my bed due to panic attacks. I also have a Psychology degree and some hands-on experience with self development. I am telling you all this because I need you to trust me just enough so that you see the validity of what I am about to offer you. From where you stand right now, you cannot see how beautiful life is. That is perfectly OK. What I would advise you to do is stop doing whatever anyone else is telling you. Can't read? OK. Can't dress up? OK. Trust where you are right now. Only think of TODAY. If you can do that, plan your day only with activities that are pleasurable to you. If one day is too overwhelming, start with one hour or with 10 minutes. Ask yourself: What is it that would make me happy right now? No judgement. No pressure on yourself. No thinking of pension, problems, partner, family.. Just do something - anything that you enjoy.

Sounds to me that you have a lot of Aries placements in your chart. Aries loves to start things. Think of Hussein Bolt. He can run EXTREMELY fast, but not for long distances. You need to learn to become an alchemist. Someone who transforms what they perceive as weaknesses into gold. A job with different (types of) clients might suit you. Another idea that springs to mind is that you perceive already as abandonment what it is meant to be a step forward but maybe nothing more. Would you actually like to start a life where you do ONE thing your whole life? Take it step by step. Baby steps. What is it that you could do now? Take that step. From that next step, things will look different. Take next step from there. Continue and enjoy every step. When you can't see the next step, it is a sign that you need to enjoy and relax (as opposed to beating yourself up)

I am sure that you love this woman, and it is THAT LOVE that would help you frame it and time it in a way that suits you both Also, I am sure you are not a cheater but a free spirit who is afraid that being tied up would suffocate him.... We are talking here about a discussion, not a separation or a decision or even an open marriage as there is no marriage yet Be sure to state clearly that you are not communicating AN INTENTION, but A FEAR !

Sounds like a "covert narcissist" - completely different characteristics. Yes, that is the known dynamic: the golden child and the scapegoat. Keep looking..

The YOU that you think you are right now, perceives Free Will. The REAL you, is part of a free will "soup".

OK. Work with these for a day or two. Really sit down and.. "just do it" There are people here that care !

@zasa joey Alright. Would you be able watch some videos if I sent them to you?

@zasa joey Actually.. you express what you are feeling very accurately. You are posting this because you know that there's a way out and this might be the right place for you to find some valuable tools to fix this. May I ask your age and what your occupation is? (you can PM me if you want) You are being called to wake up to your truth. You are detaching from mundane world and entering a new phase of your experience. Often, this comes with this type of pain. I know you do not care and I know nothing seems to soothe you, and everything feels completely overwhelming. If you were to chose one thing you wished improved right now from all that you mentioned, which one would it be?

No, not at all. Anything that works for you is valid

@AlexB - you might not realize it, but you are/can be good at a lot of things, but there will always be something that stands in your way. Please look at this: You are very good at your job - but you hate it You are good at coaching your friends - but you have no marketing skills, plus you are at a "dead end" yourself.. Round and round we go... So now that things are a bit more clear for me, I would advise you to fully commit to your self development while keeping your job to pay the bills (just for now). In order to do this, search for 1% that you like about your job and only focus at that. (might be the money, might be the fact that you are good at it...) Slice the remaining time into comfortable pieces, and move on with your self development slowly but surely.

Yes, we all have narcissistic traits. Some more than others. And then, there is NPD ... which has various forms.. covert, invert, etc Keep studying PS: also look for scapegoat term in relation to NPD

You will have to look online for more information about gluten-free diet and ADHD. What I kindly advise you, is to remove yourself from this so called disorder. None of the symptoms, the effects, the challenges that you are experiencing deserve to be caged in a medical concept, moreover, none of them will make me think less of you because you are not those symptoms. You are a spec of Truth. Truth is Perfect and Truth is Always there. Truth is who we are. So experience everything you perceive as if it was a perfume that needs to wear off. Don't give it attention, just keep going forward step by step.

I realized that it was not him that I loved, but how he made me feel. That is not selfish. That is human nature. Sit with that for a while. It is not selfish to love yourself first... and to take it one step further if I may... ultimately, there's no you and there's no other.

@Callum1991 , May I give you some practical advice? But you need to actually get out and do it Find the highest public people you can freely access and take a good photo camera with you. Start with first floor and take 10 pictures outside. Go up take 5 pictures at the second floor. Go up to the last floor and only take one picture. What you will understand, is that from a wider/higher perspective, problems we perceive are not so heavy, so big that we believe when we are immersed in them. Believe it or not, for everyone involved, there is something better to come than you remaining a family. So start from here. You are at the beginning of a new road that you get to chose. As with a map, acknowledging where you are is essential so that you find your way to where you want to go. Take baby steps. One at a time. Here is a photo that might help you:

@AlexB , I had one of those jobs once VERY well paid too... It took one 5 years depression and a cancer sentence over my head to get me out in a second. What is it that you desire to achieve right now? Please expand a bit on your situation if you want so that we could take it somewhere..

I could use one too

@Pola , There is some advice on this forum in regards to how to deal with anger. That part I leave to you. For the other part, I've got great news for you This is not love. Love does not hurt. Either you, nor the other person. I have been in your shoes several times in my life and I can still remember the hurt. But it is this exact hurt that brought me where I am now. You are exactly where you need to be. I will give you a practical tool to unhinge this: Write down all the good aspects you ever perceived about your ex. Idealize him as much as you want. Then sit with yourself and acknowledge that it is not THIS man that you want, but someone who will make YOU FEEL the same way as he did. Shift your perspective from the Person to the Experience. I promise, you'll be out of there very soon

Yes Because you don't yet realize that you do not SEE / KNOW awareness. You ARE it!

This topic fits better and is easier to find in this sub-forum. I have heard from various sources that ADHD can be greatly helped by a non-gluten diet...

Look online for Mooji's pointings and work with them until there's no duality left!