kindayellow

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Everything posted by kindayellow

  1. @Alex bAlex i would say for sure yes. In fact, from the way you phrased the questions, it sounds like you believe that to be a full/completed person, you need a partner, and that's exactly what a co-dependent relationship is, and thats a very unhealthy type of relationship. Long lasting relationships are when two people come together that are good being on their own, they don't need someone to feel like a complete person. My parents have been married for over 20 years, and most of my friends back in high school had divorced parents, most relationships are co dependant and it's the reason there's like a 50% divorce rate lol, and from what I see, both my parents are independent but just simply enjoy eachothers company's and that's why they've been together for so long.
  2. I've seen this posted here in the past, don't think it got many replies, I'd personally love for Leo to go on, would be such an entertaining and insightful conversation, I don't know how Leo feels about Joe Rogan though. Oh and also, it would bring more people into actualized.org! And Leo if you're reading this.... come onnnnnnn;)
  3. Every now and again I find myself telling people about self actualisation and about how much Leo has helped me in my journey. Do other people do this as well?
  4. @Omni to build on what you said... A good way to learn something out of people we dislike and judge, is to ask yourself how you act the same way, and to really have a think about it. I'm incredibly judgemental, I pigeon hole people all the time, but it'd humbled me slightly having the thought process of how I do the same things that annoy me in other people.
  5. Okay so first of, I generally consider myself an emotionally stable person that sometimes suffers from some form of social anxiety and panic attacks, way more so in the past before I started self actualizing. I'm not diagnosed with anything, never been tested, because I don't feel like its that serious but saying that may just be being ignorant. But last night I was walking my dog on the golf course, a big wide open golf course with a nice cool temperature. And I talk to myself when I'm walking the dog as like a journal entry but without he journal, and I just felt very contempt in the moment, at peace. And I just thought that I'd be okay with dying right now. and then i had like a third person thought after that of like.. "well no, I wouldn't kill myself because I'm yet to experience even higher levels of happiness yet." and then I thought like imagine if tonight was the night I just decided to kill myself. I never had a thought like that before, but I realised I was just being kinda crazy, i just took a few deep breathes and carried on with my walk. I struggle now thinking about me in the future. I feel like I may die young, because I struggled with xxxtentacion dying so young and that whole thing just broke my heart, I'm now in a much happier place with that now and I use him as positive encouragement to remain calm and be positive when I feel under pressure, usually in social situations. I often contemplate my death, sometimes in a practical way, other times in what I'd consider an unhealthy way. I'd appreciate anyone's opinion on this.
  6. I got adventurer, but I felt like it didn't describe me well, it did pretty good though. I recently took an ennegramme test which is very similar to mbti but also analyses a different part of your cognitive nature and it was amazing to read. It was incredibly accurate and had put into words things ive been trying to figure out for the longest time. https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test
  7. Spiral dynamics is for sure one, I was constantly just saying OHHHHHH!!! like everything was spot on. I love spiral dynamics. And I believe this was in 2017, the updated masculinity video he made. I was struggling with my approach to attracting women and following very orange tactics. And when he started saying essentially that sometimes the most masculine thing to do, and the best thing to do for your personal growth is to just do whatever you want, reply quickly, be needy. And that you'll then from that, authentically act less and less like that knowing it doesn't work and getting your heart broken. I had a beaming smile on my face like the whole way through the video lol
  8. I plan on watching it after I've gone back over stage green and orange, The best experience I've ever had with one of Leo's video was the updated masculinity one, it was incredibly freeing mentally, just letting go from all the things I think I should be doing as a man to attract women
  9. Well I'm 18, nearly 19, and yeah I'd definitely agree with the urge to go bust a nut is such a strong thing. I want a relationship, but looking for one online to go meet in person often ends up in me getting turned on by people's profiles. @Rilles okay I'll try setting goals like that:)
  10. Currently trying to improve the sources of happiness in my life and I'm finding it especially hard to stop masturbating. So I'm welcoming any tips!
  11. I'll admit I'm victim to sometimes watching leo for "mental masturbation". They're incredibly entertaining videos, but you fall into a trap of taking on what he says as truth just because it sounds good to you in that moment. I'm making more of a commitment now to go along with Leo's videos, and make notes. Leo stresses the importance of note taking for better results. So go write down your notes, rewatch the video a couple times to get anything you missed, unless you're pausing the video to make notes. And then commit a week to learning that topic, really getting it down in your head, and then consciously implement it into your life, see how it affects you, you can be running multiple little experiments in your head as I'd want to apply something for maybe a month or two, really depends on the videos, I'm trying to commit to life long elimination of masturbating right now, as well note taking for stage green spiral dynamics.
  12. In the sense of just being a normal person, not working within politics, and just reading news articles and watching debates all the time. It definitely seems to me like it's just entertainment, the enjoyment of collective ego of the party you support being "successful", enjoying getting angry at current affairs and whatever. My dad and brother both care about politics and my dad wants me to vote. I simply just do not care at all. I only see politics being useful if you're planning on trying to implement change that's at a higher stage than most of society of the country you're in. What's your view?
  13. I'd offer some advice but it seems like everyone is nailing it on the head. Only thing I can offer is that after ending my own similar toxic relationship, I made it one of many missions to be able to read a girl. I've probably watched Leo's video of Relationships Flags over 10 times. Being able to recognize multiple flags that show that person is toxic and to just cut things off before they go any further is amazing. It's okay to be a dick sometimes. Because if you're meeting a new girl and maybe you're getting on pretty well, but in the back of your mind youvye seen some behaviour that's a big red flag, and you just cut it off, she will think you're a dick. And there's nothing wrong with that, you're doing her a favour as well as yourself.
  14. How long have you been self actualising for?
  15. @Leo Gura I have an idea of what's going on, I'm not totally oblivious, but I could be more informed. Most of the politics I'm hearing through media is about Brexit, maybe I just feel more numb to the overall idea of politics because all the UK is talking about right now is Brexit. Okay so politics exists at every stage of the spiral, I feel like most people where I am are mostly blue/orange with growing numbers of orange/green. And my issue is with the way I'm seeing blue/orange & orange/green people getting involved in politics, with all the egotistical debating, surely I can avoid that behaviour whilst still being aware of what's going on and having my own opinions. I'm likely just seeing it from the wrong angle. Is it doing blue/orange and orange/green people any good to have arguments over politics with others in tier 1 any favours? Is that something that should be avoided?
  16. Go for it. But it would be helpful to do a poll on YouTube. It'll show up in subscribers subscription feed.
  17. I definitely agree with @flowboy he has fantastic presence when speaking. And I've honestly not watched him in months, but I very much enjoyed one video he had about social anxiety, but I found Leo's content to be much more helpful than Jordan Peterson's, I bet he goes home at night, tucks into his vegan dinner, buys his tickets for next year's Burning Man online using his solar powered laptop made of 100% recycled aluminium.
  18. The Big Picture of Self Actualization, so she can really understand the magnitude of how much she can improve her life. And since she has depression and social anxiety, videos about understanding how emotions work and how to deal with them would be hugely helpful. Always my number one go to thing to do is to start a journal and just go really deep into topics you're struggling with, sometimes it's good to vent in the moment, write down all the emotions, and then deconstruct later. Oh and also Leo's videos on depression, and addiction.
  19. Just seen this online, it actually reminds me of my previous relationship, super insecure, I wouldn't even be able to joke or even talk about other women being physically attractive. Do you think it's worth breaking up over? I couldn't see myself even going near a girl if I saw some things that showed a deep level of insecurity, it's just a no for me. Do you think it's a good reason to break up?
  20. @universe well if she's getting upset about the fact that men find naked women attractive other than her, shes either incredibly insecure or has no concept of how men or even other women like herself work lol
  21. Not in a sense of them being boring and me drowning out, i mean In the sense I play a video I find interesting, and it keeps my mind occupied on listening so well I forget about the need to want to sleep, and I always end up remembering the first maybe 7 minutes of a video when I go to rewatch it at a further point in time. Just me?
  22. @pluto i see what you're saying but I just use them as a way to fall asleep, I enjoy the videos because they're relaxing and give me something to think about whilst I'm trying to go to sleep. I watch his videos in the daytime and make notes etc it's not a case of me not being interested, I just prefer his videos as a method of falling asleep to rather than like rain or whatever
  23. How so? I'm just wondering how other people feel about dating people with insecurities like that, I've dated someone like that before, and it just makes everything so difficult.
  24. My response is that your parents aren't actually that happy. Not as happy as you think they are, I think often religious people tend to built up a lot of guilt for some of the thoughts or temptations they have but don't act upon them out of fear of a higher power.
  25. In my opinion, girls have more ego. Young girls anyway, they aggressively protect their self image more than guys (of that's the type of ego you're talking about, who we believe we are). Girls often post on Instagram building up their feed with changing themes every 3 rows, they post pictures of them trying to look cute or whatever to get guys interested, post group photos of their social group, tagging members to try work their way up the social ladder. If you're talking about the arrogant kind of ego, I'd say maybe equal, girls just tend to suppress it because it's unladylike. And then during arguments and fights it really comes out. And actually, whenever girls get into fights, it's very different from guys, guys tend to fight for their own pride and settle a dispute, but when girls get to the point of wanting to throw down they just try go for the kill lol. Unfortunately for them they rarely have the skill or luck to do so.