Venus

For people who have read and incorporated the book and ideas of the Six Pillars of Self Esteem into their life, how well have you found it helped and what did you find most helpful? Also did you modify any of the ideas to suit? (Descriptive answers if you can please)

One key thing major depression likes to try and make you believe is that trying to feel better won't work, at least for me anyway. I find a way that seems to make me feel better but then after a few days something internal happens that always seems to make everything look hopeless again. And thinking about it, I don't actually know any examples of people who have fixed their major depression for good or how they did it. So this topic is to find you people and show myself there is hope

@Arman tell me.

My personal development isn't getting anywhere because I never know which thing to do first. I can't decide which affirmation I should start doing first. I can't decide which visualization to start doing first. I can't decide which book to read first. I can't decide whether I should go after my ex that I still adore. I can't decide how to answer replies on my forum posts. I can't decide which habit to start first because I want/need to start them all. Of course I can't do all of the things at once. And when I do decide what seems the right thing to do, the next day I manage to persuade myself that another way is the best way so don't manage to feel motivated to continue anything set in place the day before. So as far as it feels, I basically never know what to do in order to move forward in pretty much most areas of life. And whenever I feel like I have a good method of fixing it then it quickly becomes just another thing to add to my list of things that I can't decide which of to do first. So I need insight and help from others because it's just seeming like a loop I can't get out off when I'm trying to fix it from just inside my head. I've been in this loop for months now and I've actually only realised recently that this indecisiveness was the problem stopping me from getting anywhere. But yeah I'm just so lost and never know what to do and it's just driving me into depression.

Felt really unmotivated, depressed and cried a few times today. I feel like a lot of it came from this indecisive feeling I posted about today: Right now I'm also feeling like having more purpose and direction in life would massively help. That's what my intuition is giving me. I was going to post a funny meme to lighten this post up but none of them would load. So instead have this apparently suggestive emoji ? (or box if your technology sucks. (It was really cheeky btw... Reeeeeeeaally cheeky))

@I_Like_Thing I'll be sure to try watch that one soon. Been meaning to actually. Yeah i m realizing their usefulness a lot now actually.

@egoeimai there is definitely a lot of perfectionism, yes. I often feel this deeper feeling of "I need to do it exactly right or I'm not good enough". Which inevitably makes me feel bad because that's impossible. What would you suggest I do when I do feel better about the situation?

@see_on_see what exactly do you mean by 'justify'? Do you mean prove to themselves that their religion is beneficial and right? @Prabhaker I've thought similarly. It seems like that feeling of getting unconditional love from the 'creator of the universe' creates a great relieving feeling (for obvious reasons), but surely there's got to be more to it than just a relief because of a belief? That wouldn't feel like love surely? Where do they feel the love from? @99th_monkey so like envy? I feel down around them because I want their happiness? I don't think I understand @Nahm I totally agree. But on the questioning thing, it really depends on the ones you ask because some do have some complex structures and really think they know what they're talking about. But even then they can all get a little shaken and start thinking, with the right sort of questions, which is good. @Evilwave Heddy we all have our own limiting beliefs. Don't hate just because your beliefs makes others' look obviously foolish. Isn't that just how they'd be thinking of you as well? @Psychonaut lol yeah. But that was never what they thought their goal was. Dying and getting into heaven was, so as far as we know, it could be a 100% success rate. We can't tell. That's why it's so efficient. @Bob84 "Seek and ye shall find." - Matthew 7:7. Sometimes I feel like the Bible itself could teach Christians where they're going wrong by being Christian

@InDaZone that's super helpful btw, thanks. But when you get all the way down to that fear, what dost you do? @Danielle so do you take time to do some meditation on it in the day, maybe some affirmations to help drill into you that your thoughts are meaningless? @I_Like_Thing it's harder to do that on deeper beliefs that you're barely even conscious you hold though. It also becomes massively time consuming to do that on them all. Surely there's a more efficient way? Maybe it's not too bad. But yeah, deeper beliefs. @Huz I like that! It sounds a bit like how it often feels when I get into deep states of consciousness (although I could be putting a glamorous coat on them because I'm not feeling them now) @Nahm I hadn't thought of looking at it that way. But it makes loads of sense. A lot of my negative, limiting beliefs so obviously come from my mother's attitudes. And the positive ones from my dad.

@Afonso so are you saying it takes ages? What else do you find helps if so? @eskwire and was that mostly just from the book? @eskwire so by 3 activities a day, do you mean like 1 differnt lot of sentence completions completions from one chapter, and another from another chapter and etc. for example?

@abrakamowse so would you say that creating a habit of not listening to your lower self is the most important thing to do if you were feeling depressed, and mindfulness meditation is the best way to create that habit?

@see_on_see then why do they think their lives are more fruitful than non believers?

Tonight I wasted a whole evening because I didn't know which important thing to do first. So of course, I did none. Procrastination. Fuck. Goodnight.

@Christian haha I like that. I suppose to be fair there is a little bit of fear as to just getting on with it, hence the post, and I do just need to sit down and take more action. Good call out. Thanks.

@Huz &@Danielle so are you both saying that keeping diary-like notes of your beliefs and emotional triggers is one of the most important things? Also, how quickly does one start noticing lasting change?

@everyone What about the overlapping of doing different exercises? Doesn't it take up too much time and overwhelm you by trying to focus on all the exercises at once? How do you manage it all?

@mariustuhut wow, really that good? I knew it was valuable content but hadn't been putting it up in the clouds like that @Deepak sadhwani yeah I'm finding the exercises are really what makes it

@Afonsodamn I really like that. But does that mean you didn't ever do like a whole two weeks on just one thing? Don't you feel like you could really suck the juice out of each pillar if you're doing it day after day? Yeah so how long did it take before you staryed seeing certain changes? @heisenburger yeah I've definitely noticed that thing about the loops. I'll go look up the Sedona method

There really isn't much reason to be in your head worrying about the past or future. There's actually no reason why we need to be thinking. Our thoughts will try and convince us there is; your worry will worry about what will happen if you stop worrying, and you may fall for the trick. Or you could just let go for a moment and see for yourself; see how relaxing now is. There's actually no harm in putting all your focus into only what you're doing right now, but it doesn't feel that way.

My life: "you'll never have great self esteem" Me: "challenge accepted, bitch"

Current life purpose = Find life purpose

@heisenburger what changes have you seen? Like how did you feel before and how do you feel now?

I agree with @ajasatya. The alcohol is just there as a distraction for her from the real problem. Remove the problem and the alcoholism will fade too.

You're jealous only when you think about [it]. You're not good enough only when you think about it. Everyone is thinking you're a freak only when you think about it. Your life sucks only when you think about it. You can't do it only when you think about it. You're a failure only when you think about it. Life is going nowhere only when you think about it. Let go of your thoughts.

Fear Go play a game of paintball and see just how scared everyone is to just run out and go forward with the shit they want to do: "I could run to that defense... But I might get shot... So never mind", "I could leg it and plaster all those people even whilst getting shot.... But I might get told off for blind firing or something...so never mind". Most people just hide away at the back. We get so scared of stuff that is no where near as bad as we most likely tell ourselves, as well as it probably being very unlikely to happen aNyway. I reckon the average person does, at most, only about 10% of the things they actually really want to do, retreating back to their comfy hole, giving up that 90% because of fear. And what lies in that 90%? Real fucking living, that's what! You only really begin to live a full life when you begin to excite yourself and do those things that dO scare you. Being scared is fine. It's great. It's just when you let it take over you, hold you back and stop you from living a real life that it becomes a problem. I think the thing most commonly feared is what other people think of you, to whatever extent. But the thing is, if most people are all worried with a lot of focus on "what will other people think...? What if I look bad?", they're too busy to truly judge you. And who gives a fuck anyway. When there is judgment, it tends to be their fear judging your transcendence through fear, so it's nothing significant. Do you really want to value an opinion that comes from fear? No you do not is the right answer. (Other judging tends to come from a much nicer place with a softer tone.) It makes me think of a speech Jim Carey did. He talks a bit about fear and it's very fantastic. It may have been where I first started thinking about fear to be fair. V80-gPkpH6M Avoiding your fears will help you survive, but it will not help you to live.