ivory

@Rilles I do things that bring me joy. Where I struggle, though, is taking care of my health. I feel good when I do it but I have a tendency to get lazy. Sometimes I forget that.

Man, I've been practicing for quite a while. And what I've learned is that if you do it long enough, you end up hitting dry spots where your motivation runs dry. It's just something that happens. Part of the work is to just keep going. If you're paying attention to life, you notice that the same thing happens in other areas. Oh yeah, but like all things, bliss doesn't last. I welcome it, but don't strive for it. Thanks! I agree. Then again, life is ups and downs. I don't think we are meant to be joyous all the time. Good stuff man.

Oh you are getting your degree? Good stuff man, enjoy. To this day, algorithms and data structures are my weakest link.

@Rilles I used to hate the term "practice". It sounded like a dead end. After a while, though, you realize you have to make it a practice.

@Rilles How is that a problem? @Aaron p Thanks

I'm a software engineer. Right now I do iOS software development with Swift but I learned C, C++, and Java in college and a few other programming languages while on the Job (C#, Ruby, VB). Once you learn one language it's pretty easy to pick up another. However, like the others said here, I'd recommend learning one very well. C++ is good to get started because you can get low level just as you can with C but you also get object oriented programming. I will tell you this, you really, really have to want to learn and you have to be willing to work hard. I would not recommend this path for anyone that is not good at or interested in math. To be successful you have to be both creative and love problem solving. If that sounds like you then you are on the right path. The last thing I'll say is that it is very hard to get a software job unless you have a college degree. It can be done, I know two people that have done it, which is not a lot. But both were very smart, loved to learn, and worked very hard for a couple of years just to get their foot in the door.

I think that everyone's path is going to be different. I really struggled with self-esteem so I went into therapy. I do not think I would have been able to pull it off without it. The thing to remember is that it takes a lot of time to know yourself. When you really, really know yourself self-acceptance comes as a byproduct. I was lucky because my therapist really hammered the concept of self-acceptance into me. No matter what I did or said he'd have some way of showing me that there was nothing wrong. But, to answer your question, I don't know what you should do. The fact that you are asking says that you don't either. If you don't know what to do then how do you know it's going to work. Anytime I meet someone that asks for help I suggest they get professional help. It is fucking worth it.

The more you realize how little control you have over your journey the more you realize your innocence. Allow yourself to be imperfect and be patient with progress. Change happens very, very slowly. Learn to accept yourself by realizing that you can be no different. When self-judgement arises just note those thoughts, don't give them any power. Over time they cease to bother you. Going forward there is something you can do, take care of yourself and act with authenticity.

The easiest way to know what to say is to find like minded people. Figure out what matters to you and find people with the same values.

These teachers you speak of are full of shit. This is all wishful thinking. Charlatans.

I should have been more clear. There's just not enough evidence to prove that aliens or UFOs exist. When I saw Bob on Rogan's podcast I was immediately fascinated. I took a good deal of time to research alien and UFO sightings. I wanted to gather as much evidence as I could, and I was really hoping to find some truth. What I discovered was a lot of untrustworthy sources and contradictory information. At some point, while watching Unidentified I realized that there was just no way of knowing anything for certain. I do think that some people are being honest about what they've seen in the sky, but the question is, what the hell are they seeing? Are they seeing objects from space, or is it government aircraft?

Bob Lazar is extremely convincing. My observations, some of which we share, is that the information that he shared was very detailed and his body language is tight. He's articulate, consistent, and highly intelligent. He doesn't seem to care whether or not people believe him and is not an attention seeker. I find it hard not to believe him, however, there's just not enough information to back up his claims.

Also notice that the people who are always convinced they are the right are the most unpleasant to be around.

Was his art DMT inspired? I did mushrooms and meditated a couple weeks ago and holy shit, it was like one of his paintings was right in front of my face. Can't wait to try DMT again, but next time I want to make sure I have a trip sitter so I can go deep.

@DefinitelyNotARobot I recently started listening to audio books and have decided that I'm going to close my eyes and listen to them in a meditative state. It will be interesting to see what happens.

That's awesome! I had the exact same experience when I was listening to Eckhart Tolle a while back. I was lying down listening to him on my headphones and I was like, "Wait, who's thoughts are these?" Well, they weren't thoughts. It was Eckhart coming through the headphones. You're the first that I've met describe the same thing happening to them.

Hmmm... Interesting. I wonder how much DMT you smoked to get to that point @SgtPepper. Cool story.

@Depersonilized Yeah that was my first impression. Last weekend on LSD I was standing talking to my roommate and for a second I forgot who I was and thought he was me. There was nothing like this on DMT. But, a single time with anything rarely teaches you anything.

@Leo Gura I can't imagine walking on this stuff. When I stood up my body felt like it weighed 10 lbs. I was afraid I was going to fall over so I sat my ass back down.

Maybe it's not my problem. LSD taught me that it takes many trips before you start to see its power. It could be the same with DMT. I'll keep experimenting until I can get my hands on some 5-MeO

In my experience, microdosing reduces your focus. It makes me space out. Better to reserve a day and get the full benefits of a trip.

I just discovered a Syrian artist by the name of Sara Shamma. She is absolutely brilliant.

@PenguinPablo Ozark was a great series. I don't think that will serve the OPs purpose. @andyjohnsonman If you really want to study blindness watch Fox News.

Holy shit, this was a very powerful film, and arguably the most frightening I have seen. I'm not feeling very hopeful right now