ivory

Yeah, I used to get that too. Whenever you encounter something new in meditation you are likely to experience a little fear. Or a lot of fear. Totally normal. Keep going, it will die down after you see that nothing can really harm you.

@Joseph Maynor I totally get that

@Inliytened1 Vipassana is a Buddhist practice. I believe vipassana means insight, so it's insight meditation. Basically it combines self-inquiry with breath work, but there are a number of different vipassana flavors. The point of vipassana is to see that reality is empty of self, impermanent, and dissatisfactory (also known as the three marks/characteristics of existence).

How is this a paradox?

Did someone tell you that's what you should do? Are you avoiding rejection? Is it an addiction that's ruining your life? Why deny a core aspect of being human?

I've experimented with a number of meditation techniques before realizing that what really matters is consistency. Pick one that resonates with you and stick to it. In my opinion, people often get lazy with the do nothing meditation and get lost in thought. Pick a technique that balances relaxation with enough effort to stay alert. If you stay with a technique long enough you will tailor it to meet your specific needs.

You have to be honest whether or not its to mask your loneliness. How happy you are with your life as it is? Will your partner compliment your life or are they just filling a hole? I'm a huge proponent of dating and relationships. There is so much to learn and grow from relationship. However, you need to be ok on your own and be quite grounded to have a successful relationship. That all said, you are quite young. Feel free to experiment and make mistakes. You'll learn from that as well. At 23 there is something to be said for getting more life experience.

I haven't watched any of Leo's videos for a while, but damn, I sat down to watch this video and it was so timely. I'm somewhere between the limbo and the starting phase. I've started taking action, but not exactly sure I'm on the right path. I'm also experimenting quite a bit with different meetups to meet new people and get ideas. But I'm pretty sure I want to make techno music, take better care of my health, make new healthy friends, and eventually find a better job. Maybe at some point will I start a business and do more meaningful work. However, at the moment, I really want to spend more time investing in relationships and establishing a strong social circle.

I have experience with regular psychotherapy. The thing with therapy is that it's a very slow process. But for me it was worth it and I would do it again. Whatever you do, know that it's going to take time. I personally don't believe that mdma is a replacement for regular therapy because you still have to face whatever it is that you're avoiding. For example, if you're afraid of conflict, mdma isn't going to cure you of that fear. If you're afraid of talking to hot chicks, same deal. You're going to face your fears over, and over, and over until they no longer bother you. Self-criticism is an especially difficult beast to tame. Most of the healing process is very counterintuitive. It really helps to have a professional point out the flaws in your thinking and teach you how to work with them. Be wary of anyone who tells you that you're going to heal after one or two sessions of anything. You heal by being out in the world and rising to the challenges that life presents you. It really, really helps to have a someone in your corner coaching you as you move through life.

I'd be curious to hear what your interests are. For what it's worth, I found my career simply by going to college. Eventually I found some classes I liked, changed my major, and followed it until I graduated. I didn't do any career assessments, which looking back, would have not worked for me. I'm a software engineer but back in the day I hated computers. Go figure.

A link to the California Psilocybin Decriminalization & Research Initiative. Check out some of the links at the top: https://decrimca.org/initiative/ Also, an interesting trailer:

Looks like I was wrong. It was Oakland to decriminalize all plant based psychs. But there is still a decriminalization movement for all of CA. https://www.marijuanamoment.net/california-activists-take-first-steps-to-decriminalize-psilocybin-mushrooms-statewide/

For the depressed, anxious, victim types JP can be a very inspiring guy. I believe that he does help people in being more assertive and responsible, which is a good thing. There are healthy and unhealthy manifestations for each meme in the spiral. If you know what the traps are at red/blue/orange then by listening to JP, you should be able to continue to grow and not get stuck at any stage. You are correct, though. JP has a bit of a blind following who internalize everything he says without question. Those people will remain stuck. Those who do question him, based on their own life experience and/or other resources, have the opportunity to outgrow JP and move into a more happy and healthy way of being. I also believe you are correct in stating that JP calls out green's BS. The problem is that, to move into yellow, you need to open your mind. JP is quite close minded, and believes that he's "right", so he's not exactly encouraging people to evolve past green and into yellow. He's just throwing more fuel on the fire and green's response is to push back. Hatred, and the "us vs. them" mentality is very difficult to transcend which is how people get stuck at green. Who would want to give that up? I believe that JP is just reinforcing green with his finger pointing.

I don't live in Denver, but 'm super excited about it. I hear they are collecting signatures for the decriminalization of all plant based psychs in California. And that measure would be voted upon in 2020. In any case, I hope Denver sets the precedent for other states.

Haha.

@Serotoninluv I totally agree with you. If you point out all the negative qualities the question still remains, what does a healthy ego actually look like? I still found the list very interesting, this particular zen center puts a ton of emphasis on self-development. If you haven't seen this site yet, it lists the healthy and unhealthy manifestations of each meme: http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/orange/. The manifestations are listed under "Qualities and Shadows". You can check out the other colors by replacing the "orange" part of the url.

A while back I went to a zen center and they gave me a worksheet highlighting the most common ego tendencies. Thought I would share. If you are stuck, this might help you get clear on what you need to work on. Let me know what you guys think.

^^ Good advice ^^ Maybe also have her check out the healthy and unhealthy manifestations at each stage of spiral dynamics. That will let her know what she needs to work on: http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/red/ http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/blue/ http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/orange/ http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/green/

I'm with shin. Smells fishy.

Life has no inherent meaning which is to say that there is no source out there to define it. There are things that mean something to you and it's up to you to figure out what those things are. On the path, there are times when things no longer seem meaningful, and I certainly went through it. Part of it had to do with the fact that I wasn't well developed and partly because my values were skewed. Not sure where you're at but perhaps something I said will be of value to you.

I'm in the same boat. Sounds like you need to call upon red / orange qualities. If you were ever self reliant this shouldn't be too hard to do, other than it may feel like a chore for a while. If you were never self-reliant, then you just need to integrate the healthy aspects or red / orange. Responsibility is one of the healthier qualities. Healthy manifestations of orange: Result-driven, explorative, be able to think strategically, switch pragmatically to solve problems, entrepreneurial. Healthy manifestations of red: Assertive, movement, show courage, acts immediately on what needs to be done in the here and now and in a respectful way. Set clear boundaries and indicate urgency. Express one’s own opinion http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/red/ http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/orange/

The healthy and healthy aspects are discussed under the "qualities and shadows" item: http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/green/ Each color has a different url. Just replace "green" with "yellow" or whatever.

Sleep was the first step I took on my journey to health. I used to get 5-6 hours of sleep. Then one day I had enough. I decided that I would force myself to lie in bed for 8 hours a night. It was a bit uncomfortable at first because I would often lie there for 2 hours at a time awake. After some time, though, I taught myself to get 8 hours of sleep each night. Now I sleep at least 9 hours each night and I can't imagine sleeping any less. The lesson is that you have to teach yourself how to have good sleep hygiene.

Reclining chairs are really good if you're going to listen to music mindfully. You can get extremely relaxed. But, as others have stated, not good for a baseline meditation practice. The point of meditation is to be aware. Lying postures are induce sleep like states that don't promote awareness. Like @kieranperez I'm not super flexible so sitting cross-legged is extremely uncomfortable. I sit upright in a desk chair for my daily morning meditation and it works great.

Preach sister! Just curious, were you ever diagnosed with ADHD? I always thought I had it but never got diagnosed. I still find it difficult to stay tuned in on conversations.