ivory

I use a mindfulness noting technique and meditation taught as instructed by the mind illuminated by culadasa. Culudasa prioritizes concentration practices before insight practices. It's a sort of vipassana technique.

@Inliytened1 I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, yes, I want to know the truth, but right now I have a ton of practical matters that have to be attended to. I was simply wondering if I should even make an effort to know the truth right now or if I should get my shit handled first. I think for now I'm just going to keep meditating and then when I'm curious start taking it more seriously. We'll see how things pan out.

I agree.

@Inliytened1 Thanks. How important did you find concentration practices and/or developing present moment awareness? My understanding is that you need good concentration to dig deep into the self-inquiry.

I define enlightenment as insight into the nature of self and reality. However, I do believe that it takes time to mature spiritually. Just because you have an enlightenment experience doesn't mean you're conscious of truth all the time.

@Inliytened1 True, right now I meditate about 30 minutes every morning. Then I do two 15 minute walking meditation sessions. And then I do mindful stretching for about 30 minutes per day. How much time did you commit to your practice? And what did your practice consist of? I don't think I've watched any of Leo's enlightenment vids. I felt like I needed to take a good deal of time off and deal with a bunch of life stuff that came up for me. I used to spend a lot of time doing self-inquiry but looking back I realize that I was also spiritual bypassing. I can't do that anymore. That said, I was really influenced by Jed Mckenna, Greg Goode, Rupert Spira, and Zen. I was really curious to deconstruct myself and reality. Inquiry revealed that neither "I" nor reality was as solid as I once believed it to be.

@ajasatya Thanks

@d0ornokey There is some truth to what you are saying and truth to what Angelo is saying. The idea that men are weak for being vulnerable is an unfortunate side effect of social conditioning. There is strength in honesty and vulnerability. However, it's crucial that men are also assertive, expressive, not overly sensitive, and committed. In other words, you need to be strong enough to deal with the challenges that life throws at you. From a spiral perspective, Angelo is promoting red/orange qualities and you are promoting more greenish qualities. Both are important to embrace.

IMO, the promotion of spiral dynamics is one of the best things Leo has done for society. Once understand, spiral dynamics will skyrocket your growth. Check out the vids for sure.

How does being assertive, or lack thereof, currently limit you in your life? What are your current fears when it comes to social interactions? What are you things you have to do / want to do that you don't actually do? If you need a reference, take a look at the "Qualities and Shadows" section to see which qualities you need to let go of or integrate to achieve wholeness: http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/red/. You may also find the other sections helpful.

That's what I was getting at. How familiar are you with spiral dynamics? Once you really grasp it you realize there are more than just two sides. It's a complex system. No right or wrong, no better or worse. Just integrated or not integrated manifestations.

As someone who's been journaling for years I can tell you that you are on the right track. Good job. With journaling you want to balance focus with allowing your mind to wander. Get it all down but don't be too unfocused. There really is no right or wrong way to journal. Over time it will evolve and you'll hone it and make it personal. If you'd like an example, here's what my journaling typically looks like. 1. Write a few things I'm going to do today that serve my best interest. 2. Write a few things I like about myself. Positive qualities. 3. Write a few things I'm grateful for 4. Free flow writing. Here is where I just jot down my thoughts and problems. If there is a specific meaty topic I will explore it in more detail, ask questions, probe etc. If there are emotions: anger, fear, sadness, etc. I will explore them and get to the root of them. Lastly, I was where you were at about 1 year ago. It takes time to figure out what you want. You want to balance being out in the world with solitude so you can reflect. Get ideas from the world, then go back to the cave to contemplate. Oh, and be patient! This shit takes time. Enjoy your down time while you can. Hope that helps.

@Angelo John Gage Ok. Sounds like you are just demonizing the left. You need to look at these issues more systemically. Masculine / feminine is too general. This is a very nuanced, integral problem.

@ajasatya Let's try to be more welcoming to the newcomers. The OP may have some blindspots but I see no value in pointing them all out. I'm all for helping others out and being honest about what you see, but use some discretion. Check your spiritual ego.

I think you should stay. There are plenty on this forum who do understand you. Keep in mind that everyone on this forum is at a different level of development and each person's path is unique. Lines will get crossed, some will agree or disagree, and some will try to elevate their sense of self worth by putting you down. It comes with the territory.

I disagree. There are pockets of society that are too feminized. I agree in that certain individuals and groups could benefit from integrating masculine qualities but I believe you are making a sweeping generalization. Which mess are you referring to? I see a variety of problems at many levels. And not all of them are because men lack masculinity.

Yeah, I find it a bit annoying too. Good thing annoying people don't actually exist. Wait...

Don't worry about the clothes just yet. For now you should just be focusing on a killer beard.

Well this thread escalated quickly.

I've been through some pretty hard times myself on the actualization journey. Since then, I have had successes and am in a great place right now. But at one time my life fell apart and I was super depressed, anxious, unmotivated, and nihilistic. My advice would be to get professional help. Therapy doesn't mean something is wrong with you, just that you are navigating unfamiliar territory and need help for a while. Getting advice on a forum for heavy emotional stuff may not be the wisest solution.

@flume There you go

I used to feel the same way and still struggle with perfectionism. This forum is good practice for you. One of the things that I learned is that opening up to fear and discomfort is the way to becoming a more whole human being. I used to be painfully shy, and still am shy to a certain degree. These days I intentionally do the things that make me uncomfortable because I know it's the gateway to personal growth. Speak your mind. And don't worry, all of our views and opinions change over time. You're not the only one.

Almost everyone seems to develop some form of spiritual ego once they encounter a little bit of spirituality. I have it to a certain degree but I try not to feed it anymore. The two tendencies I see the most are: 1) Show off spiritual concepts 2) Give advice

If you are in your 20s def go backpacking.