Adilbek

I just did self-inquiry practice, and my heartbeat just increased so much, similar to my low doses on 5meo. It followed by me calling out myself on being that "I", which was uncomfortable. I also had this flush of tingling sensation over my body. Is this going in the right direction?

I have a sort of crazy story for LOA, I am almost convinced it works. I visualized working for a big 3 company. I did a matra - just a list of 20 affirmations on how I get the job and work there. I contact a friend of a friend who works there, and in a couple of days he offers me an internship for about a month. This shit is crazy

If God is omnipotent, can it choose to not exist, or is it trapped in existence? Is playing in duality God's second best? Would it much rather have "real friends" if it could? How does God exercise will in non-duality if it lacks agency in the non-dual state? When or how did it make a decision to play in non-duality? Was it a decision?

Thank you for the book, I downloaded it into my kindle

Thank you @Arthur for this bit of inspiration

First psychedelic trip ever: 6-10 mg 5-Meo-DMT Yesterday, my first attempt failed because I apparently did far less than 5 mg. Nothing happened. I had increased heartbeat but maybe I was just excited. I was afraid that the substance was not 5meo. Today, I did around 6-10 mg of this stuff. I cannot say precisely because my SmartWeigh Gem50 is giving me different readings every time. But it should not have been more than 12mg I think. I used Leo's plugging method, the only difference is that I couldn't find micro scoops in Canada, the ones available are ~$50 per pack which is nonsense. I got a milligram scale instead. Because I don't have $500 for a scale, I got the best cheap one for CAD40 from Amazon.ca. I plugged, came downstairs and laid on my bed. It was 11:55 am. By 12:00 I started to feel the effects. By 12:10 the intensity increased significantly, and around that time was the peak of the experience. By around 12:25 the effects subsided, but continued very mildly for at least one hour. 5 hours later I am still feeling the effects, as if my brain is pulsating in my head. It's as if I took a high dose of lion's mane (which I did before). I am wondering if I will lucid dream tonight. I hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch, so around 24 hours by the time of the trip. Still I definitely felt nausea building up, though not to the point of puking. I felt the effect similar to hyperventilation (shamanic breathing?). I used to do Wim Hof's breathing, it felt similar. It also felt like being drunk or having fever. If I attempted to stand up I would have vertigo. By 12:10 the effect intensified so much as though my focus got super concentrated that I was afraid to look around. I put on my sleep mask so I missed that part. I kept repeating "I surrender". When I looked around, it did look lighter or more colorful, though it may just be my imagination. I started to see rainbows on the wall on which light was falling. I also looked at the window, and the light was super bright. The only insights so far is that this stuff definitely works, it's not just lip service. Also, it's kind of familiar in a strange way, like something I already experienced but in a more intense way. I did feel like my ego was numbed down but definitely not disappearing. The feeling was similar to Wim Hof's hyperventilation in this way. I know that I must proceed further, but feeling this thing at work I'm a bit scared. I am now living with 2 other people (they get up at like 1pm) so I trip when they are asleep. I can't just do a breakthrough dose with them around, because I am afraid I will scream etc. I just watched Leo's skepticism video on his blog, so I guess I am facing the ego game now That's it so far.

this is poetic Good luck, whatever it means in this context. Looking forward to hearing from you

oh shit(

First of all, it's really cool to have you respond to my post. Thank you for all the great stuff you do. Second of all, I am scared shitless. I'll just go watch the Matrix on netflix as a second-best alternative to enlightenment )

Thank you for encouragement I'll take it to heart

I've been on nofap for almost 3 years with varying success. Hello All, nice to find a nofap thread on this forum ))

Mine is more like being mindfucked by the reality of the present moment. Like I am just coasting through life, and in that brief moment I feel like I am actually THE doer in my life, whereas the rest of the time I feel like a spectator at the back seat of an empty movie theater. This feeling can be triggered by me repeatedly saying to myself "this is happening right now". And I wake from this dream for a second. This often happens if I do something active, like playing sports.

Thank you @Arthur and @outlandish for your encouragement! I will muster up the courage and proceed. It definitely get scary now that I need to do serious dosages It's good to hear that screaming and breaking stuff around the house is rare, hope to have a peaceful breakthrough) Ok, will get back to you

First psychedelic trip ever: 6-10 mg 5-Meo-DMT Yesterday, my first attempt failed because I apparently did far less than 5 mg. Nothing happened. I had increased heartbeat but maybe I was just excited. I was afraid that the substance was not 5meo. Today, I did around 6-10 mg of this stuff. I cannot say precisely because my SmartWeigh Gem50 is giving me different readings every time. But it should not have been more than 12mg I think. I used Leo's plugging method, the only difference is that I couldn't find micro scoops in Canada, the ones available are ~$50 per pack which is nonsense. I got a milligram scale instead. Because I don't have $500 for a scale, I got the best cheap one for CAD40 from Amazon.ca. I plugged, came downstairs and laid on my bed. It was 11:55 am. By 12:00 I started to feel the effects. By 12:10 the intensity increased significantly, and around that time was the peak of the experience. By around 12:25 the effects subsided, but continued very mildly for at least one hour. 5 hours later I am still feeling the effects, as if my brain is pulsating in my head. It's as if I took a high dose of lion's mane (which I did before). I am wondering if I will lucid dream tonight. I hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch, so around 24 hours by the time of the trip. Still I definitely felt nausea building up, though not to the point of puking. I felt the effect similar to hyperventilation (shamanic breathing?). I used to do Wim Hof's breathing, it felt similar. It also felt like being drunk or having fever. If I attempted to stand up I would have vertigo. By 12:10 the effect intensified so much as though my focus got super concentrated that I was afraid to look around. I put on my sleep mask so I missed that part. I kept repeating "I surrender". When I looked around, it did look lighter or more colorful, though it may just be my imagination. I started to see rainbows on the wall on which light was falling. I also looked at the window, and the light was super bright. The only insights so far is that this stuff definitely works, it's not just lip service. Also, it's kind of familiar in a strange way, like something I already experienced but in a more intense way. I did feel like my ego was numbed down but definitely not disappearing. The feeling was similar to Wim Hof's hyperventilation in this way. I know that I must proceed further, but feeling this thing at work I'm a bit scared. I am now living with 2 other people (they get up at like 1pm) so I trip when they are asleep. I can't just do a breakthrough dose with them around, because I am afraid I will scream etc. I just watched Leo's skepticism video on his blog, so I guess I am facing the ego game now That's it so far.