Adilbek

I had tinnitus in the past and was very concerned. I started digging and came across a piece of research saying that the majority of the cases are due to cranial issue meaning it has to do with the neck. so getting neck massage might help. There are like knots in the neck that need relaxing. We sit in front of the computer all the time so there’s buildup on tension in the neck After I started doing jiu jitsu I noticed almost immediately my tinnitus stopped or decreased significantly. I think it’s because in BJJ you are always engaging the core and neck and exercising that part of the body. I also noticed that regular meditation increased my tinnitus due to kundalini energy. I distinctly felt that. But that was before jiu jitsu and I didn’t meditate so intensely for a while so can’t comment But I think that in some zen traditions hearing tinnitus was like a good sign that you’re close to enlightenment. Even Ramana Maharishi talked about it

Hey buddy, I was in the same boat. But then I stopped bulshitting myself with the spiritual ego and started to discover what I actually wanted out of life and going for it as much as possible. Mushrooms really helped me with it. Ironically they make you spiritual but at the same time they help you "kill" the spiritual ego bullshit that you developed as a result of following all kinds of gurus saying you should just relax. This is bullshit. Mushrooms just showed me that I have fucking great goals and ambitions in life and I want to fucking achieve them and there's no authority in this world to stop me. Mushrooms just showed me that I was giving away all my power to everybody and anybody and I need to take it back into my own hands. Life is very very simple, extremely simple. 1) Ask yourself, "what do I want?" 2) Go and fucking get it This is THE MOST spiritual shit in this world, because it's literally God's will unfolding. Your will. It is the root of life, love, energy, creation. It's pure creation. Life is what you make of it, because you are the Creator! All the best! P.S. I am no different than you, I still have problems and shit, doubts etc. But you will realize that these are just the beauties of life that you get to experience

In the normal perception or level of consciousness we think of ourselves or our personalities as this one single thing. We don't even do that. We just think it's us, it's the way that we are as a person. After taking psychedelics I realized that my ego is like a symphonic orchestra of thoughts, patterns, actions, emotions, interwoven all together. They are just a collection of learned micro behaviors that I adopted for one reason or another. When I was on a heavy dose of mushrooms I was freaking out because I felt like I was "losing myself". To cope with that I witnessed how my freaked out ego threw out a phrase that was supposed to remind me that I am actually the ego. By that point it was futile but I distinctly witnessed that attempt to bring me back into the ego identification. That specific micro behavior was like a part of the symphony of my ego. I realized that my whole fucking ego is a collection of similar patterns that are supposed to fire at specific moments.

Enlightenment is like a light that always shines. But it shines through the personality and it seems to you that the refracted light is not what it should be. Like the shadows of trees refract and distort sunlight on the ground. And it seems to you that the light should look exactly NOT the way it looks now and something is wrong, and this is definitely NOT WHAT IS NEEDED. But this is what is needed. Enlightenment is when you understand that this was THAT all this time. When you realized that because of the shadows of the branches, the sunlight is not something less. Even if you remove all the branches, the nature of the light will not change. And you slowly push the branches apart until the earth is illuminated by light. You already understood that there is no difference and never was, but for this you had to remove the branches first. But now you have removed them and the next time something refracts the light again, you will no longer think that something is wrong with the light I mean to say that the thought "I am not enlightened" is just a branch in the path of the sunlight that seemingly means something significant, that it points to a fact that you're not enlightened. But in reality it's just a branch that cannot change the sunlight. The sunlight is the same whether there is a branch or not blocking it. So it is IMPOSSIBLE to not be enlightened. Only enlightenment is and nothing else. Your belief of not being enlightened, and in fact your whole personality are just some nice embellishments on the face of enlightenment. You are enlightened right now. You are just denying it. The thing is, if enlightenment was something to be attained it wouldn't be such a big deal. But it's a big fucking deal. So the game of attaining enlightenment is actually played in reverse. You need to actively be denying enlightenment to "stay unenlightened". I put it in quotes because again like I said it's only a belief that you are not enlightened. So because enlightenment is so ABSOLUTELY TRUE, it takes a huge effort to stay in denial of enlightenment. The allegory of the cave is actually about enlightenment.

It's all just a river flowing....

that's why I think heaven and hell conversations have a place to be, because while we are in this "solid" state as humans we have a chance to a) realize we are God b) calibrate our reality to steer in the direction that we want because once we die, this vessel pops and whatever the vector was we will just follow there. Not because heaven or hell are real places but because reality is complete chaos..... hell and heaven are just simplified ways to warn ourselves and not miss this chance while we're still human. What do you think, bullshit or no? It's like being a human is like a resting spot where you actually have a shot at self-realization. Otherwise you're just floating in this endless kaleidoscope of God creation

haha. If you are God though, seriously thanks for this life, this shit is legit good

It's like, YOU did it, so the only one knowing the answer is you...

oh by the way by digging into these questions more I am again digging my own grave as an ego:) to again come to the same ol' place

In my current understanding, the ego is just a tool for you to poke yourself and remind yourself that you're God. There seems to me there's a predetermination to that. Like you almost planned it all from the beginning. That you would get interested in psychedelics, get a breakthrough dose, only to "break through" to ... yourself. But why do it? I am thinking of these outliers among humans as Easter Eggs that you leave for yourself in the game. The rest of the 99.999..% of people will never see the reality of it, so you as God can safely sleep in them.

That's actually super poetic, thanks for that. I am not claiming to have attained really. I am just a human being like us all. Albeit a realization came to me that keeping myself small is my strategy of avoiding the Truth. I am for sure stuck in a meta-maze, I don't think I can say I am enlightened or whatever. But this is paradoxical again, the ONLY thing that keeps you un-enlightened is the thought that you are not enlightened. Because besides from that thought there's nothing holding you back really, because besides that thought it's just reality. Avoiding being enlightened is an ACTIVE exercise, you need to be constantly keeping yourself small, constantly thinking you are a little human with little problems. Because once you stop, there's just the reality of God. So you can be un-enlightened to the nth degree but this doesn't change anything at all...it doesn't change that you are still That. But I am not constantly in that state, it was just that glimpse during the trip and my integration really. I'm definitely not in Sahaja Samadhi. Just a glimpse and my thoughts on top of it

did you consider that perhaps you are fueling that "search" by focusing on it a lot? The more you fuel the search the more intricate it becomes, to the point where you need a very specific thing to happen to satisfy you? Like, yeah it's messy, but it's never supposed to have been some other way. It's just part of the script that you wrote for yourself. Because at the end o the day, the Truth is still the Truth, whatever your attitude towards it is, so the problem is whether you accept it and stop denying it or you don't. But like there's no garbage to be taken out, in a way, it's all part of the game. But yeah as a person I can totally relate. I am same way, really. What helps is remembering that "glimpse" sometimes. In any case, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate it.

yeah I can kind of gather that it's not the 'final' stage, otherwise who would want Enlightenment in the first place. But would you say you are "enlightened" at this point? Like are you in bliss all the time? An enlightenment teacher I follow is in that constant no-ego state all the time, I know there's the temporary and permanent samadhi etc. by no means I am at that point yet.

You could be right for sure. By no means I am saying my "realization" is final or very deep. But it was a huge mindfuck as is, to the point that all the other fluff kind of loses meaning

Hey, so essentially the one who wants to get enlightened is doing it because it's a strategy to satisfy some human need and for some reason other avenues either didn't work or you don't want to put in the time. In my case I wanted to be special, so enlightenment was a great way to do it. The truth is that enlightenment/God is NOT human, it's pre-human if you want. There's something that's at a higher layer than human-ness. But as humans we only want the part that makes us better off as humans. We don't want to suddenly find out that I am actually not a human, I am God and I am literally responsible for everything, I am alone in existence. In my case though the ego has come back together right after and I wouldn't want it any other way. So one can say I am still in "search". That search will only be extinguished until there's a total end of denial of God-nature, at which point there's no reason to search. But before that happens the mind always wants to know "Maybe there's something more? maybe it wasn't it??". But in reality this doesn't interfere with the TRUTH in any way, illusion and Truth perfectly coexist, there's no need for illusion to disappear for Truth to manifest. I may be wrong, that's just my feeling of it. Enlightened teachers are at that total acceptance stage, like in the cycle of acceptance: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. Total acceptance is when you can't credibly deny that you are the fucking God anymore and the ego can't conjure up a good argument why you aren't IT. I haven't gotten to the stage of "reaping the fruit" yet. I had a glimpse of it at the end of the trip and some time after, the sense of absolute freedom and no need to prove anything to anyone because I am literally the daddy in this world. Freedom from concepts, ideas of any kind, freedom from "the pursuit of happiness". It passed but it rubbed off me over time through integration. This bit when I say "Why did you come to me again, go live your life. He won't stop until he kills himself". So the thing here is that as God you are "always" there. I put always in quote marks because always doesn't even begin to describe how ALWAYS and ALREADY it really is, it's literally just you and it's RIGHT NOW. So as God it's obvious to you always and at all times that you are God. So but when you come to yourself as an ego through shrooms, maybe self-inquiry, you are NOT AT ALL SURPRISED, there's no new knowledge that you learn from that. It's just the absolute banal and obvious knowledge that you've been here all this time, for eternity. You created everything, there's nothing that needs to be done. The whole world and life is just a PRANK you've been playing on yourself. It's LITERALLY a JOKE, you can't even imagine. So I had this feeling like "this ego came back to me again to remind me that I am God". So the ego is just your way to remind you that you are God from time to time, that's it. And it's literally just for the fuck of it, no reason at all whatsoever. But then you come out of it and you are playing as the ego again, with your problems and plans and dreams. And it's actually fucking amazing. No matter how 'horrible' your life is, it's a fucking ingenious game to keep you occupied and thrilled, and happy and all those emotions. Imagine you're a kid in a theme park. You came there as a "kid who came to the theme park", but after you get immersed in the games and play so much that you forgot that identity and now suddenly you're a pirate on a pirate ship, or you are swimming with the dolphins, or you're a Disney character etc. So enlightenment is you just suddenly remembering that you are that kid who came to the theme park, nothing more nothing less. Was that information new to you? No. The pursuit of enlightenment let's say in an ashram when you meditate for 40 years is just you being a killjoy at the theme park and trying to ignore the attractions in hopes that you'll remember that you're in a theme park. But in fact, that is also just an attraction called "Pursuit of Enlightement", it's still you pranking yourself that you somehow don't remember that you're that kid. Or in the case of Enlightenment, it's you pretending not to know that you're God. The depth of this realization is less than an inch deep. Because you know this already. You can't even become aware of it, because you literally know it already, you ARE IT. It's that weird feeling when you suddenly remember something as if it's been forgotten a long time ago and you smile a little bit - That's IT.