kag101

That's great! I went through something similar in psychoanalysis. It takes time to heal sexuality...

But do you feel like you're improving with this topic? That is, do you feel like you're in the process of accepting your sexuality?

Happy belate birthday!! Congrats for Actualized.org!

My two cents: 1) I agree that watching spirituality videos can become a huge source of indirect procrastination for taking action. In my case, I’d often “spiritualize” my depression and social anxiety. That is, I’d think that those things were just an “ego backlash”. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I spent 10 years on the road of self-help. After I finally sought proper treatment, I now see how all of the books, videos, and workshops I had consumed were in a way not only a waste of time, but also in some cases detrimental to my growth and mental health Because my psychology was so weak, I would believe everything I read. And spirituality can be particularly dangerous in this case, as it promotes the idea that “everything is exactly how it should be”. All in all, I was overdosing myself with self-help stuff as an attempt to subconsciously self-medicate my untreated depression. That obviously didn’t work. 3) I think you’re being a little extreme. Those new habits you want to implement in your life are quite neurotic in my opinion. Too rigid and too many all at once. As Leo himself says, don’t try to change too many things at once; it’s not going to work. Focus on one thing. 2) I understand that you must be worried about the direction of your life, but that rigid approach you’re taking will not be effective and sustainable long-term. Speaking from my personal experience, I wish I had gone the traditional route before. I would have prevented a lot of suffering. I am a huge advocate of science. Psychology and psychiatry is what saved my ass. My life feels so good right now, as opposed to hell I lived in for 14 years. It’s expensive but it’s worth it. Here’s my experience in greater detail:

Hmm... anyway, I don't think what you're experiencing is healthy.

Yea, I know. I was exaggerating on purpose. Here's my point: this model implies that being left-wing ("green") is superior to being right-wing ("orange").

I completely think it is a good idea. Self-development is not supposed to be a grim duty. I often take breaks from my affirmations and visualization habits. I tend to get quite neurotic sometimes, so I end up doing way too much. And instead of helping me, it actually makes me feel more stressed and confused. So then, I take a break. It might last a few days or a few weeks. In your case, because you've been working on yourself so diligently for 3 years, I think it would actually be an interesting challenge to not do any personal develoment work for like a month. I had a moment of my life where I was addicted to PD, and I simply couldn't stop it. Shut up.

Well, first of all, this depends on person-to-person. I personally have adapted really well with psychoanalysis as well, but some people might benefit more from meditation. Did you tell that to your therapist? What did he/she said?

Hva you been taking psychedelics, Mister?

Cool! But like, does she make interesting observations or questions once in a while? I've had therapists who would nod their head and fake empathy. I personally like free-association therapy. there's an app that helps me a lot and they use some concepts of CBT to identify inconsistencies in negative thoughts. it's really interesting. it's called Moodtools. best of luck!

No, I didn't read the books. I've seen Leo's videos about it, and I did some research online as well. I mean, it's kinda interesting. But people here take it to an extreme. They start categorizing people, and I don't think it's in a healthy way. I also don't like that it's like if I want to be "green", I have to vote for Bernie Sanders, not really care about money, be a hippie, and go to ayahuasca ceremonies.

That's good to hear. With me, it has been the opposite. I am more anxious now.

woooow! you're so fucking awake, man! do you want a trophy?

I don't like SD, because I don't think it is accurate and people take it way too seriously.

3:43 PM Lactose intolerant? Lately I have been having flatulence. It's really annoying and unpleasant. I did a test and stopped drinking soda, but I had that problem either way. So I am 95% sure that it is due to dairy, unfortunately. That sucks. I don't know how much dairy will I have to cut to get better. For example, I have noticed in the past that ice cream is terrible for me. It messes up with my digestive system. And also, before I turned vegan, I was a vegetarian. But the thing was, I was consuming A LOT of cheese and things like that, and it was terrible for my digestion and everything. Anyway, cutting dairy is a pain-in-the-ass, but I'm sure "I will survive". I mean I was a hardcore vegan for 4-fucking-years, reducing 80% of the dairy I consume won't be the end of the world. Intention: So, in the next following days, I will avoid dairy as much as I can. And I will try not to be extremist. To succeed in this, I will go to the market tomorrow and buy other types of milk (almond, soy, cashew, etc.) They're pretty expensive though. Sleeping pill There is one medication that I was originally using as an antipsychotic, but because it has a very potent sedative effect, it has helped me regulate my sleep as well. I am at a very low dosage, so in this case this med acts only as sleeping inducing. Yeah, I know... it's not good to depend on a medication to fall asleep. But truth to be told, I have never woken up past noon after I started using it. A lot of my friends, especially during this quarantine period, have been waking up at like 3 pm. Sorry, but to me that's not life. There was a time that I would wake up at 5 pm. And that's simply depressing. Another benefit from this med is that I can control what time will I fall asleep. I really don't get sleepy without it. So if one day I need to be awaken till late night, I don't need coffee for example. "Let's stop it" My psychiatrist wants me to stop it. He suggested that I don't use it some days of the week. At first, I thought I definitely needed to that. But I had resistance. As a self-help junkie, what do I told myself? "You're being complacent and lazy! You need to change this habit NOW!" Fortunately, I am getting vaccinated against these types of neurotic thoughts thanks to psychotherapy. Truth is, I was spending so much energy on this, that I was not focusing on things that are more important. Negotiating with him He also recommended a series of sleep hygiene recommendations. So we decided that, for now, I will continue with the medication, but I will focus on implementing those new sleeping habits. Basically, there are two that I need to improve: 1) Use bed only to sleep I tend to spend too much time in my room, and I am often laying down. So over the last few weeks, I have been avoiding not only laying on my bed during the day, but also to not be in my room. I love my room and everything. It is my "sacred space". But if I spend too much time there, it can turn into something toxic. When I stay there for too long, I start getting negative and repetitive thoughts. So I am limiting as much as I can how much time I spend there. But, again, nothing extreme. If I manage to reduce the time I am in my room by 50% during this first month, that's already good enough. It is a process, so it should be gradual. I shouldn't demonize my room. 2) Dim the lights 2 hours before sleeping. I have never taken this much in consideration, especially because they say you "shouldn't" use your phone or laptop 2 hours before sleeping. Well, at least where I'm at right now, this is just too unrealistic. But, again, I can adapt it as a "harm reduction" type of thing. So here's what I'm doing: a) Dim the lights, in fact I want to buy an adapter so that I can control the brightness of the light in my room. b) I avoid using electronic devices, but sometimes I do use them. In that case, I make sure the brightness is low and the content I am consuming is light. So instead of watching a horror movie, I watch a sitcom or something like that.

Care to elaborate on that?

Yes, meditation can help quiet the mind. But in some cases, especially when done excessively, it can lead to the opposite. So you're saying "not attached to any outcome"? I don't care what you say. Nobody should want to die. End of story. How can someone cut attachment to happiness? And why would it be beneficial to do that? That's great, man!! ??? I hope it's a good therapist. Best of luck, and keep us posted!!

what did you get from this video besides thinking Leo is awesome? haha

Haha, that's a classic. I tried that technique with a girl once, but it didn't really work, lol.

I agree with her.

Is that supposed to be a joke?

Have you ever considered going to a psychiatrist?

You didn't offend me. I just think that whole "Don't think about anything. Just be in the Now" pretty annoying. I just don't find it to be effective. I mean, yes, reminding oneself to be in the present moment is a great thing. Most of us are lost in planning or thinking about the past. I meditate daily (focusing on the breath), so I am pretty aware of how the mind tends to wander off. But that is not the answer to all psychological problems. And thanks, I wish you well as well. True psychology works. Its practice and education is guided by research findings that are firmly grounded in the scientific method. Get back to work? What do you mean by that? Literally working at a job? Why do you think psychotherapy doesn't "tackle the issue once and for all"? To me, it is exactly what it does. Resonating with the psychotherapist is very important, but that's not enough. It's expensive, and it's also hard to find a good psychotherapist. Lol, this method has a 100% success rate "from your experience"? Sorry but that doesn't prove much of its effectiveness. I certainly prefer the first option. And, btw, how can you prove me that life is an illusion? I definitely don't want to go in the route of "spirituality". I was there for many years, and it only made me feel miserable. At one point in my life, I was meditating 4 hours a day. I was putting too much expectation on meditation - as if it were something that would magically solve all problems. Ever since I started psychological and psychiatric treatment, I have never been happier and more fulfilled in my life. After more than a decade of suffering and getting disappointed by alternative methods, I feel like I am finally in the direction of truly actualizing my full potential. It's a fabulous feeling. Yeah... It's a paradox. It's repetitive, and it makes the "present moment" look something out-of-this world. It's actually very simple. I really think there's something fishy about Tolle.

What makes you think you're not depressed? Yes, to me, it's pretty clear that this is the case here. No, technically it is not. Clinical depression is a very specific and well-defined thing. Other factors can trigger it. But depression is a whole different thing from sadness, stress, or grief. No, it won't. But at least the individual will not be a slave to the illness. This way, the "natural self" can break free, and manifest once again. Yeah, suffering can be addictive.

Wow, that's an interesting coincidence... Did you tell this concern of yours to the doctor? I don't think meditation is very effective for social anxiety. In my case, it made it worse, actually. I would get even more "internalized", more self-conscious (in the negative sense). This sounds too theoretical and unrealistic. So I "shouldn't" use should statements? Lol Ok, that's great. How many % of the population can achieve that state? Smoking weed, in the long-term, was terrible for my social anxiety. I am so glad I got rid of it. I agree. I like that. It reminds me of the book: "The subtle art of not giving a fuck."