Azrael

For me personally it changes what I do with time. I started out a year ago just with Leo's advice (self-inquiry) - from his videos. Then I got Eckhart Tolle's book and one from Alan Watts which extended my intellectual framework. Going on, I switched from self-inquiry to strong determination sittings and "Do Nothing" because I have more and deeper realizations with that techniques. I did that for 6-8 months while extending my framework with a lot of Shinzen Young videos, hours of Alan Watts lectures and lately some Matt Khan stuff. Then one and a half month ago I really stopped seeking enlightenment because I had the notion that it is the seeking that builds up my spiritual ego and keeps me away from waking up. So I stopped seeking and started being it. Seeing it in every moment, feeling good when I was good and feeling bad when I was bad. This was very important but it needed some time and a lot of prior realizations to happen. Now I switched to Zen mainly, because I can identify a lot with what they do. So I practice Zazen with strong determination sittings, apply the Zen mind throughout the day and read up on Dogen and his work. Basically you have to dig around a little bit and find your masters on the way. But more importantly is that you don't only consume the frameworks but really apply it in your day to day life. Not just in meditation but try to really breathe it in every second. For me, this brought me and still brings me everyday to a whole new place of knowing - and it's beautiful. Cheers, PS: I also watch some Rupert Spira videos these days. Heard of him in this forum. Stay around, you'll be introduced to a lot of great teachers and perspectives you can apply.

I can definitely say that strong determination sits will foster your progress with that, because it releases so much awareness that of course also manifests in your dreams. I actually had my first lucid dreaming experience in a time in which I practiced strong determination sits very rigorously. Did extra night sits and all that and it had and still has major influence on my dreams as far as I can see it. So yeah, that's definitely beneficial.

You don't, that's the point. What you experience right now are glimpses of the meditative state and you see how nice they can be. And of course you want more of them, but as you noticed yourself every time you try to go even deeper into them you just drop out. So what do you do about that? Well, you just do nothing about it and look deeper into what is happening. Finally you'll find so much beauty in every situation that you don't need the meditative state anymore to be fulfilled with your meditation. You'll come to the point where you just sit down, merge with what is in front of you and whether you are still, your monkey is talking, you're breathing deep or shallow you are just fine with that. And interestingly I can report that if you do that, you will experience even deeper meditative states. If meditation had a goal it would probably really be to stop yourself from creating more illusions that you can influence reality and bring you to the point where you just flow with everything there is - because that's what you do either way, whether you want to see it or not. So just relax and have a look. If you want to implement some awareness technique, do that. If you just want to flow, do that. If you just sit, just sit.

I can definitely see your point here. For me it feels like my extra long late night sittings release great blocks from my unconscious that are being melted down with my normal daily meditation routine. My biggest, deepest and fastest gains were achieved with my first 2-3 two hours strong determination sittings and adding numbers to the clock seems to be a great mean to go deeper. Interesting topic. My daily meditation however also does its job over the long run, I experience new phases every 4-5 weeks. it's like every few weeks another layer of bullshit belief vanishes from what I see in front of me and I'm completely stunned again.

Hey, I just had a very insightful meditation I wanted to share with you guys. Take the time to read it, it's worth it. So, I just came home from swimming and had my daily meditation. I currently increase my normal routine from 60 to 90 minutes so I was a little bit discouraged because I knew I would probably face some pains. However, it turned out differently. Because of the prior swimming I was instantly relaxed and into the zone. As a matter of fact I started to fade every few seconds from bring conscious to falling asleep, so I decided to investigate the fading. I sit very erect and still in my meditation, so when I fade I lose a little stability and instantly come back. This is very interesting and went on for I'd say 40 minutes. In that time span I put some awareness into it and it was quite amazing to experience fading away so consciously. It's like you get sucked away and then pulled out of something to be there again. With that came intense hallucinations, like I never had in a meditation with eyes open. When coming back I saw a couple of objects for about 3-5 seconds like they were literally in front of me and then they went away. Quite shocking and fascinating, I was probably in a hypnagogic kind of state. After these 40 minutes it ended in very clear super high focused awareness. Very physical, while my body was sleeping. Was kinda nice to experience, I have to say. Then after some time I got this normal sense of being bored that sometimes comes up in meditation. I thought about what I still want to do today and so on. And then it struck me out of nowhere. I was very aware of being bored. I saw it coming up, felt it and then saw it fading away. While this was happening I had a quite clear picture of the components of boredom. It was like a very, very subtle physical sensation of being frustrated, a little fear, a little anger and maybe some disgust. Very, very, subtle but with high awareness I could sense it very clearly. Also, mentally I had thought streams about the future. And then it just occurred to me that boredom is nothing else then you torturing yourself out of no reason, just because of social conditioning. It became very clear to me that there is nothing negative to trigger this boredom. It just comes up because of lack of distraction, automatically. And has no purpose whatsoever. It does not protect you from anything, nothing. It was just implanted into you back then because it is the most normal thing in western cultures. We are bored all the time. Think back when you were a little kid, how everything was an adventure. All the grown ups around you were bored, but not you. You could go to the supermarket and it was amazing to see all these things there. You also had no feeling of time in you that could bring boredom up. You had lots of emotions, but not subtle self-torture because of no new stimulation. After some time you just adopted this from friends and family because it is so common when your ego builds up. But that's a hoax. There is actually nothing really that is bad about no new stimulation. It is just your expectation that there always has to be something new. This really lifted me up. You maybe want to explore that next time you feel bored, it's very subtle but significant. It destroys a lot of the inner peace you could have. Like really a fucking lot. Just think about how often you have to wait for something and are bored. So any ways, just wanted to share this. Look into it, it's worth it. Tell me what you think about it. You Bored? Cheers, Arik PS: It's really astonishing to see how much we tend to fuck ourselves up because of no reason. And nobody notices that, never. Or does something about it. We just give it to the new members of society. Man...

Hey man, sounds like good progress to me. Keep it up. What eventually develops with "Do Nothing" is a kind of inner understanding, a knowing that is present all of the time and always remembers you that all you think, see and hear are just games. Or let's say, that how you still perceive these things are games. With this knowing inside of you - you can even reach a point where you are completely fucked and you secretly begin to enjoy it, because you can see right through it. And especially with fear or other strong emotions. It can be amazing to experience that and is paradigm-shifting. Also, when you "Do Nothing" long enough and manage to let your brain flow as it flows you finally get out it and to a stage where everything seems kind of rhythmic. It's strange because you normally don't experience that throughout the day because one is so identified with his thoughts. But when you let go and they stop or you "get away" from them and are left with what is before your eyes, everything kinda feels like playing like a child. It's really fun, everything becomes a little bit like a joke to you but also like pure magic and you start to wonder why nobody values that. Anyways, good job for you

Thank's for sharing, I love Matt's stuff. I gotta say though, firstly I was really held back by the way he looks and the titles of his videos. Then I looked liked 2 or 3 videos and every one gave me major realizations right away, like I never experienced it with video content before. This guy really knows what he is talking about.

I'd say keep it up, sounds good to me. You could increase your sitting time. Adding minutes to the clock normally brings difficulties with it and can bring you to new realizations over time. Also, I like to constantly inspire me with stuff like Alan Watts lectures, great books about the topic, other intellectual stuff. You can use this stuff as a seed for your self-inquiry or meditation.

Nice, I did the same thing with cleaning today. Induced a meditative state and it felt like I got one with all my movements. I definitely was in a rhythmic kind of relaxed and concentrated state. Also, it happened in like no time. Was really great!

Yes, it's perfectly normal. And yes it will change the way you perceive the world with time. For example right now, after one year of daily meditation, I have times in which I'm so mindful I can hear my thoughts and have a very clear notion that I am not talking right now. This was very scary at first. Also increased relaxation and concentration throughout the day. Better performance in general. However, this takes some time and seems to cycle. I can really recommend to write a journal at least once per week, so you can track your progress. I've also done that now for a year and just recently noticed that all the problems I had that motivated me to start meditation are long, long gone by now and it's become now more of my own intention to go and seek for what is out there. I never started with this intention. I wanted to solve some very normal life issues and I did on the way. I often notice that one forgets these things after a while and is always worrying about the next great thing in mind. That's why a journal can be useful in my opinion. Also, I'm currently experimenting with applying formal meditation methods throughout the day. I currently use the Zen "count from 1 to 10 on the out-breath"-technique and it seems to put me into a flow state if I do this for 5 minutes. I get completely out of my mind and just watch how my unconscious seems to handle everything I do. I cooked the other day with that method and it was quite fun. Anyways, great question dude!

I'm currently experimenting with Zazen and I'm following the instructions from this guy. So yes, it's a lot about posture - just like strong determination sits - and also they focus a lot on bringing your attention and breathing from your breast (where it is very shallow) into your belly. They do this with counting the out-breath from one to ten. I've done this now for a few days and it's really amazing I gotta say. I get even more relaxed and hyper-focused.

Dude, first of all relax. I can really recommend to you to first actualize yourself, so that you have a strong basis to do this search. Look some of Leo's older videos and buy some books on the topic and really get it down, maybe for a year or however long you need. This work is very, very challenging at some times. You maybe come through phases in which you question the whole thing because you feel so shitty. Then there are other phases in which you can really connect to what is around you. It cycles. But it's important to be strong to deal with this. How can you be able to even wake up, if you can't deal with it? Ask yourself that, will you wake up that way? Also, there are ways and theories how to deal with the everyday world. Buddhism talks about the private Buddha and the one who comes back to society, gets involved in everyday games but brings his wisdom with him. So, there are ways to get a normal life and seeking for truth together. But, I'd really recommend to you to sit down at first and think this thing through to save yourself and your family unnecessary troubles. Cheers,

Yeah, this happens a lot for me, too. Also, while I'm meditating (with eyes open) I tend to have hallucinations like everything looks a little like a thermal image, or the floor begins to flow like a river. Zen has a name for it: Makyo Psychedelics seem to produce similar / the same visions, but more intense.

The concept of layers makes a lot of sense from a neurological standpoint, I guess. In my computer science studies I came across neurological networks that use the idea of neurons in layers to do tasks like recognizing objects in a picture or drawing like Dali - like humans. This is pretty amazing stuff!

Hey @Ayla thanks for your view on the topic, makes sense to me! However, my normal meditation doesn't look like the one I described above at all. Normally I'm quite focused and not in such a trance where I'm fading. I just worked out before this meditation quite heavily and so I was tired like nuts, that's why I drifted so much. I gotta say, was quite astonishing to experience. Thanks anyway!

@Pinocchio Thanks for your input. Makes a lot of sense to me. Nicely worded!

If you don't meditate at all don't start with a hour. Start with something like 20 minutes, I even recommend 10 minutes to starters. Do the "Do Nothing" technique for three months, than raise your sitting time to maybe 30-40 minutes. Than do that for a while and than you can start to sit for 60 minutes. If you have sat some time (I'd say 1-2 months) with 60 minutes and "Do Nothing" try doing it with strong determination sits. If it's too hard go back to 30 minutes with it. It's key to start slow here and make it a habit. Every raise of time is challenging in the beginning and you can't hold up with it if you challenge yourself too much in the beginning. It needs a few months for most people to really see where this is leading you (or get a sense of it). Also, get a vision for why you actually want to do this. I have very strong motives so it's never the question for me whether I meditate or not. Now, after a year of it I have seen so much (and it's just the early beginning) that I can't picture going back. That's my thing now and I love it. Cheers to you, PS: Also picture the big picture. Visualize where this would lead you in one year. In the first year you can master the 1 hour sits (w/ or w/o strong determination). The second year you can do the 90 minutes or 120 minutes and so on. I see myself sitting for 4 hours with strong determination sits in I'd say 5 years. That will be insane. I probably wake up on the way with this stuff. Now, if I look at 10 years from now I'd like to have mastered 6-8 hours. Then I'll nuance that for the rest of my life, maybe join a Zen monastery some day, I don't know. Visualize how your life would change if you can sit for 8 hours and also how it would feel to sit for 8 hours w/o pains and complete bliss. How would you feel in your normal life?

Yeah, completely. I use as a standard technique "Do Nothing" with strong determination sits. I've done this technique now for half an year and I had all major breakthroughs with it (had a few other also with self-inquiry but I tend to go with "Do Nothing"). My meditation practice always comes in cycles. I have weeks in which I sit down and by default my mind shuts up - after I'd say 10-15 minutes, I experience a deep calmness and high concentration. I can actually feel it physically a lot in my brain while my body sleeps. It's really nice and automatic. I just let come what comes. If I get out of a thought story and have a sensation of "me" I put my attention on my breath and let it fade away again. If you experience complete peace of mind you actually don't have the feeling of someone experiencing it anymore. Just afterwards you think about it and notice that you were completely gone for that time span. I also have other weeks in with my mind chatters all the time, I'm not too relaxed or very frantic and neurotic. It all depends. But in those times it seems like I purge a lot of shit out of my system and in the more still sits I experience the peace that comes after the purging. Joining the Ground. Furthermore my level of dreaming also increased like nuts. I tend to have 4-5 completely high-resolution, very long and intense dreams per night. I guess that's my mind processing all this sitting. It's sometimes strange going to sleep and knowing that you'll just go through a few adventures.

My personal record is 120 minutes. Did the sit the first time last November, with 2-3 90 minutes sits of preparation. The first two attempts failed after 110 minutes but with the third one I made it through. It was probably at the same time the worst and most liberating experience I ever had. Did another 120 minutes sit a few days later and the next 3 weeks I was so lifted, so happy, calm, concentrated that I could start hallucinating just by looking at something for a moment while feeling like I was flying all of the time. (No kidding) I was so happy that I even said to myself: "Fuck this enlightenment thing, this is enough." I can simply not put this into words. Game-changing. Did another 120 minutes sit a few weeks ago and right now I'm trying to raise my standard from 60 to 90 minutes. I do a 60 minutes strong determination sit every day w/o any pains. It is by far the most liberating thing I know and is responsible for my biggest gains. If you have experiences like I had there is no going back. If you tasted purification just once you know that this is the thing to do for the rest of your life. But one should also see that it's not the numbers that are important here. It is what you learn in the sit, how much shit gets purged out of your system. The day I can do 120 minutes without pain will be a good one and also the one where I start doing 150 minutes. My ultimate goal with strong determination sittings is 4 hours and then probably 8. But 4 will be enough at first.

Just went to their website and it looks a little like Scientology. If it gives you new ways of seeing things, new insights what so ever go for it, why not. But always be careful with someone selling enlightenment. It's not like getting more self-confident or financially wealthy. There simply is no way to get enlightenment. You either awake someday or you don't. And there is nothing you can really do to help yourself with that. That nearest you can come with helping yourself to wake up - I'd say - is to investigate very deeply what is going on in your mind and around you. But even that is phony. Even that you just do because you - your ego - wants this liberation. So in the end you just have to trust yourself to wake up someday. It'll probably come when you searched for a decade and finally give up. Just a guess. It's the same with Scientology in my opinion. I have a good friend who is a member of it. She is a very beautiful, intellectual woman who is a model. When we meet she tells me what she is learning there and so on. And I really gotta say, they have some techniques that will free you from social conditioning, fear, ... just like a lot of old Asian disciplines. They really go in the same direction. And I don't quite know yet whether being "clear" is really enlightenment or just a title for someone who is really free from a lot of bullshit belief. But here is the thing. What I always hear when I talk to her is a lot of fucking dogma, a lot vocabulary, a lot of plain belief that they take on. And this for me is just another rat race round for pumping up your ego with intellectual answers that trick you into believing you know how it is. Maybe I'm wrong because I don't know too much about it, but it seems to me that way a lot. And that's why I always would be careful with someone selling you this stuff. It simply can't be sold. If it could be sold, I would write a book with simply one line: "You are it. Cheers!" And that would be enough. But you simply can't. That's also why the old Asian traditions, religions and philosophies like Taoism or Zen don't give you something to believe. They just give instructions on how to see it for yourself. And that's why - in my opinion - you will have much more success with something like Zen then just another product for your ego. But I might be wrong here, because I don't know much about these products. Just a intuition that resulted in a little rant. Be welcomed and have fun exploring

First of all, I'd like to state that bad trips are highly over-exaggerated in the media and public. If you talk to someone about shrooms or acid they instantly think about bad trips. In my opinion bad trips are rare and also depend more on your inner state and surroundings. The best help for bad trips is to learn to let go. Meditation is your best friend with this. SWIM's bad trips never were bad by design but always connected to his inner state. So, if you feel shitty and take acid - you maybe will feel more shitty in the trip. What I would do than is to lay down and focus on my body - how it doesn't feel good. Than I would repeat the mantra "How can I give you [the bad feeling] the most authentic experience right now". I have this trick from Matt Khan and it works like a charm not only with trips but with bad feelings / pains in general. This turns your perspective and lets you enjoy your own suffering. In the situation the best thing that you could do. When SWIM had to do such a thing he needed maybe half an hour and then turned the "bad" trip into a good one. Also, putting on relaxed music - or an Alan Watts lecture - can turn it around. But as I said, SWIM never had a bad trip because the substances are so bad. It's more like when you feel a little shitty and take 450mg LSD you will have to arrange the trip a little bit. SWIM always used bad trips to overcome fear and insecurities. That's why he would trip while feeling deeply sad. However, he can do this because he is very experienced and knows what he gets into. I would never recommend that to a beginner or complete newbie. Do your research. For more experienced psychonauts and people on a spiritual path - this is completely mind-opening. SWIM had experiences with DMT that were hell-like and showed him how everything he saw and felt was just himself and so couldn't harm him in any sense. I could go on and on. It's powerful stuff.

He didn't lose them - he just said that he isn't capable of differentiating tastes as well as before.

No, not at all. Your progress is completely normal. The meditation benefits (or as I call them side effects) come in cycles. Some times they will be very present and really change the way you go about your day - at other times you may feel even worse than normal. This happens because your mind purges a lot of shit out of your brain while meditating and this has to literally be processed and then let go of. Over time you will notice these cycles yourself and than jut chill and go through them with understanding. Until then, just stick to the process. Always keep in mind: With meditation there is nothing you can do wrong. Literally. With meditation all you want is to let go of the neurosis that is stuck in your head that something could go wrong. Meditation is being in your normal, basic state. Just sitting / standing / lying and breathing, doing nothing. You can't do this wrong. Even though you are so sickened that you think you could. So, just stick to it. And everything's gonna be fine.

SWIM's first acid trip last summer resulted in an ego death experience for about 5 hours. It started 45 minutes after he took his dose and was very different from the visuals that kicked in a little later. It was so nice that he cried several times because the act of breathing was too complete, too whole to experience. After that initial experience he explored a lot of the DMT territory and this is serious stuff. He had several realizations about death, his nature and everything that is around him with that stuff. However, he'd say that even trained psychonauts should be careful with this because it is so intense. It's like a thousand hits of acid, you flying through the universe plus aliens. SWIM also took a lot higher doses of acid after his initial trip that resulted in ego death experiences. All these experiences had in common that he was way more self-confident while tripping, completely out of his head and grounded in his body and surroundings and he always was aware of a presence, like something watching him. But he always felt deep love and passion in every situation he was in. It's beautiful. He'd say that this experiences really got him bound to his enlightenment work and made it first priority in his life because now he knows for what he is shooting for. He also always integrated the experiences with a lot of meditation and direction in and after the trip. Use what is happening to you. And to all the unstable people out there: Don't fuck with this shit if you are personally unstable, have no meditation experience, no training of letting go, no idea where this can lead you and so on. SWIM loves psychedelics and especially in the context of spiritual work they are like the candies of the whole game. However, they are no shortcut and they won't help you if you aren't able to integrate and direct the experiences. SWIM had his first spiritual experiences before ever doing acid or DMT and kinda knew in which direction this would go. This is serious stuff.

Alan Watts once put it in the following way: "How does it feel to go to sleep and never wake up?" and "How does it feel to wake up after never having gone to sleep?" If you contemplate these questions very deeply they say the same thing. So as you will die someday and your ego will go to sleep for ever some other person will wake up and as we are everything in this universe you will just look through the eyes of another one. Also keep in mind that these eyes could be eyes in a complete other dimension, other planet, other species whatsoever. Nature is so stunning that it wouldn't surprise me if there are even games and cycles involved in living and dying. Maybe, all of this is just bullshit and wrong. From a logical point it can make sense (as it does for me). But what is most important for this topic to see is that you are a part of nature. And we are born as a part of it and you go as a part of it. And so you can just feel save as nature knows exactly what to do in every situation. If you realize that you can loose a lot of fear of death. Interesting topic