Azrael

Actually, I think I cannot talk about that here (not in public and not on PM). I've been thrown out of the forum once by Leo for talking about it and now I'm striked for that. I tend to be very elaborate in my descriptions and I tend to not give a fuck whether other people like that or not. This topic includes a human being that Leo doesn't like, so he asked me to not talk about it, which I conform too. That's why I can't talk about it. The transmission I got comes from the "prohibited" person and further details would be inseparable from his teachings etc.

Never got RASA in my life. Got other transmissions. Also, I got transmissions when I was already uncontracted. The transmissions just unctronacted me a lot more. There is depth to all of this that can be explored. So yeah, the transmissions helped a lot to permantently uncontract me.

I'd say that the way towards enligthenment creates a lot of suffering, just because you want to get away from yourself. If you achieve some type of enlightenment, the constant "being-suffering" lowers depending on your depth of enlightenment. Temporally suffering can still arise, like when you burn your hand or something. But getting away from "being-suffering" (chronic tension in the head [feeling of ego] and body [feeling of body ego]) is worth the way, . When you are "really" enlightened, you don't even feel that you have a body or head, literally.

+1

Even with drugs it's difficult. It's just faster and more intense.

This is actually a very important point to understand about enlightenment. When you get enlightened, your short-term memory will most likely die down a lot. At least that's how it is for me. This happens because as the ego integrates and leaves, the memory produced and kept by the ego does so as well. And because the ego fears everything, it hyper-memorises things that the muscle-memory in your body can manage without thoughts. So when the ego dies, you are mostly left with muscle-memory for short-term navigation of your life. Now, muscle-memory is completely intuitive, not so predictable and very strange at first. It's a lot more feeling- then head-based. To this day, I haven't quite found out how to navigate it correctly or how to improve it. In total, my life got more disorganized through that but more organic as well. It's a strange one. I think doe, that when you master it, you can have the best short-term memory a human can have because you get full access to the unconscious. But you have to unlock it first.

If you were a science major you'd know that you learn that in university as well. That's not unknown to the scientific community. If you take a logic course, you'll be introduced to various logic paradigms one on which mathematics can be formulated and proven, others where it can't. I think your post is valuable for the normal human being that never thought about that, but I wanna to argue that the scientific community is not as dogmatic as it is presented here all the time. It's just like with every big community, if you have a lot of people its harder to change things and so people get stuck in old paradigms. (That's by the way why globalism will fail as well, as you can even see rn. ) That doesn't mean that the actual individuals don't know that. It's a little bit like judging a society based on its politicians. Not a good idea. Anyway, just keep that in mind guys when you mock science. I personally know some scientists that don't give a shit who you are or how you look and will be very open to new ideas and paradigms. Most of the ones I know are that way.

This debate is so useless because it's a conflict between two paradigms of reality. The "there are no levels of consciousness" paradigm argues everything with "there is only one thing" and the "there are levels of consciousness" paradigm argues with "distinctive perceivable states". Funnily, both are wrong but very good guides in certain situations. So stop misusing words to claim absolute descriptions and start using concepts for what they were developed for: practice.

@Spinoza I can relate a lot to your words. I was very driven / motivated / passionate before my awakening about my life in general. After it, it mostly died down. Rn, after a year, I'm beginning to put the pieces together again. The difficult thing here is that most of my ambition resulted out of the pain I experienced (=wanting to get away). So when the pain was gone, so was the ambition. This leaves a big silence in you. With time you can learn to consciously create momentum to be motivated and ambitious again, but it will never be the same compared to the old ambition. Very interesting topic.

Definitely as well.

So, I got myself involved in 5-MeO-DMT. But before I start this post, I'd like to point out that if you wanna know a little bit about my psychedelic background and another fun trip report, you might wanna read my report on shrooms first - if you haven't. There I describe my background with this etc. You can find it here. +++ Research, Planning And a Fun Experiment +++ So, how did it all start? Let's go back in time. Roughly two months ago when Leo released his mushroom videos I wrote with him here on the forum about my experiences with psychedelics, told him about one bad trip that I had and so on. In this conversation he said I should checkout 5-MeO-DMT and that nothing really compares to that. I gotta say I was kind of skeptical at first. I had done regular n,n-DMT and thought that this would be as "high as it gets". Little did I know. So I did some research over the weeks into MeO, asked some friends who had done it and read a lot. After a few weeks I forgot about it mostly because I had exams to learn for and interesting projects at work. Then Leo released his video about becoming God. I still remember how I listened to that in the morning while eating breakfast and I'm like: "This can only be MeO." So I waited a week until he made his video about it. So I thought, I better get involved in this. This sounds transformational and scary and I'm up for super-charging my progress. I did some more research and got me 250mg of 5-MeO-DMT, lab-tested with a minimum of 98% purity in HCL form. Don't ask me where I got it, if you can't do the research, don't do it. Onions might have been involved in this process, one rumors. So, I basically set up an experiment that I was going to undertake. The question I want to solve is: "Can a habitual use of 5-MeO-DMT used 1-2 a month raise my awareness permanently if used for 6-12 months?" This is the question I wanna investigate with this. To do that, I will do the tripping and document what happens with me. I plan to release I'd say at least 1 post per month here on the forum on my experiences - but more importantly on the development that happens in me. This is why I do this. I am actually thinking about making this in a video form (me telling this to you instead of writing). I might do that if the changes that occur are as deep as I expect them to be so that the cost of exposure and the investment in time and effort will be worth it. We'll see. If you like this whole experiment, like the posts and comment, ask questions and so on, so that I see that you guys are interested. If not, I'll document this just privately for me or later purposes. So, I got all this down and last Thursday, the 6th of October was the day it should all begin. So let's jump right into it. +++ The First Two Dosages: Light and Medium +++ How do you prepare to die? That's the question I asked myself before I did the first trip. And you really can't. You can just try to be at peace with whatever happens as much as you can be. This is rather difficult, because your mind can simply not come up with any framework that brings it at peace with non-existence. You have to let that go. I was pretty scared and nervous before the first trip, to be honest with you. I did all the stuff I had to do on that day, so that I had time to prepare, to do and integrate the first experiences with this beast of a drug. Before I started, I laid on my bed, closed my eyes and went deep inside. I talked to my unconscious and asked it whether it really wants to do this kind of experience and whether I could accept to die into it, so that it could become everything. I listened to my intuition that was in for it. That calmed me down a lot and was the basis for the surrendering I had to do here. I would've quit the whole thing if something in me would've not wanted this authentically. The following is a sum-up of three light-to-medium trips I took on Thursday and Saturday. They are based on 1x 15mg and 2x 20mg of MeO and had similar effects. I weighted the dosage on my scale, made two halves out of it, turned on my tripping music very quietly and snorted the powder in with a third of a straw. You basically wanna sniff it in with the least energy to get it inside, so that it stays in the nostrils. Then you hold a finger on the nostril opening, do the other nostril, cover that and sit down on your couch / bed. I sat down on my bed, tilted my head upside down and massaged the MeO into my nostrils. It burns a little bit but not very much in my experience. After 3-5 minutes my reality would get wanky and I would lie down on my bed very openly. I tried to focus on my breathing that got slower and slower while my pulse would be shooting through the top. And I mean through the the motherfucking top. You have not experienced this kind of pulse ever before in your life (if you weren't confronted with a death-like situation). I knew this would be coming, but man. You begin to worry a little bit if you can even physically take this. Then my bodily tensions and pressures slowly vanished, I closed my eyes and all I could feel is my pulse, a feeling of terror in my abdomen and a very slow breath. I mainly focused on keeping my breath going because it felt like it would stop any second if don't consciously breathe. (This is a known feature of the MeO-experience that it feels like your breath stops, however it doesn't. One does not have to be afraid of this. However, if you feel this the first time it is very heavy to say the least. Me whole body gave me signals that I'm going to die right now and it felt like I was on the edge for a good twenty minutes. So what did I do? How do you face such a situation? With eyes closed I just tried to get in contact with this force that birthed me into life and that makes and shapes me every moment. I actually kinda got hold of this and it felt very much like home and that I could just surrender into it. I was on the verge of psychological death. I totally gave in. In these 20 minutes it felt like I purged 10 years of emotional baggage. Every fear and every fight that I ever had with myself just vanished and disappeared as I faced my own death here. It is - to say the least - transformational and scary. After 30 minutes the terror kind of went away, I opened my eyes and was just bathed in this clearness. I laid on my bed for I don't know how long and was just there. No thoughts, no interpretation, no worries, no hopes, no fears. Just stillness and clearness. It was sick, I gotta say. After it, a lot of the heightened awareness actually stayed and is still present. It cut out in the last couple of days a lot of unnecessary thoughts. My meditation practice feels super-charged and my unwanted desires mostly went away. I'm not in a meditative state, but just really grounded and authentic. I don't resist myself anymore - at least in the last few days - and every kind of conflict or negative association just melts because of what happened there. Like, you don't have to do anything to stay grounded and aware, you just are because even if a earthly worry would come up it just is not equipped to hypnotize you anymore, because you have faced your own death. And nothing is greater then that. You faced your personal ever-nearing apocalypse - and nothing else compares. That's it. But that should just be the beginning. +++ The strong semi-breakthrough dosage +++ For Saturday evening I had planned the last initial dosage. 30mg. Boy, I wouldn't have dreamed in my wildest dreams that 10 godly milligrams could do such a difference. I had expected that I would go from near-death to a kind of void and that this is it. Yeah, think again. So I followed up on the normal procedure I described above, sat down on the bed massaging my nostrils. 3 minutes in the reality would get wanky again. So I laid down on my bed and expected the upcome to take at least a few more minutes. I don't know how long it actually took but I suspect 5-10 seconds when I laid down and opened up I was just gone. My mind just started collapsing in on itself. Indescribable. Pulse through the top, breath on the verge of being existent, bodily tensions and feelings not there unless a big, mother... god-fucking big existential terror in my abdomen. It felt like my whole nervous system collapsed in on itself, my mind tried to wrap its head around it and just every frame of reference vanished. You don't even remotely suspect how deep your ego shapes your perception. Every experience you have, everything you take in and make sense out of is combined with your web of beliefs. Even the most little thing like taking a breath is carrying years and years of your ego in it. Every little cell in your body. And now imagine all of this goes down to zero, nada, nothing. Just collapses in on yourself. It is by far the deepest kind of transformation you could ever experience. You are just blown away and every tool that your mind uses to come up with a calming solution of "you can handle that in a certain way" just isn't there. You're basically going insane while you are dying while it feels like every two seconds you are flushed with the doubled amount of awareness you just had. Very, very intense experience, guys. Very intense. This is such an physical experience that I actually thought I gotta vomit. It felt like my body would explode and implode every few moments. So I ran to the toilet, put a finger in my throat and tried to vomit. Nothing happened. And I'm like: "What the fuck?" I never in my life was so certain that I gotta vomit and I never put my finger so deep into my throat to get me to do this. But I just didn't. So I laid back down in my bed for about 10 seconds and then got up because I thought I gotta vomit again. Didn't happen. The second time hanging over the toilet I realized that I'm completely transforming right now and that this is probably the cause of me thinking I gotta vomit. This was one of the only thoughts I had in these moments. Dear, dear thought. I was happy that you were around, buddy. At least a little calm. So I got back to my bed, laid down again, opened up, massaged my navel a little bit (which a friend of mine - a Qigong practitioner - recommended to me to get my awareness from my head into my abdomen which calms you down) and closed my eyes. In that moment all tensions, the existential terror and the complete shock I was in just exploded in this ever-still moment that expanded in all directions while not moving at all. I was that for a brief time and then were birthed again into my ego, were ripped out of again and then were the stillness again. This occurred for some time. God is a beast, man. A fucking beast. After having this for some time I managed to surrender into this birthing and dying every few moments and flowed with it for a few moments. It was the most majestic, horrifying, loving, still and moving I don't know what to call it that I have ever seen. Completely impossible. In the process I actually thought I died because there was no indication left that I was alive. Having done that it birthed and destroyed me for some more time, like 10 minutes and I opened my eyes and surrendered to the process. I merged with everything I could see, I was the room, the thing itself and the viewer of it. I was still being pumped with tremendous amounts of awareness every few seconds. Fuck me man, this is nuts I thought. By looking at the things in my room they changed their boundaries like every few seconds. Like the shelve and the wall would now be one thing, then everything would blur out and then they formed a different object again. No hallucinations, but just every kind of way you could perceive an object in like 30 seconds. I didn't even try to understand this. After 45 minutes I slowly came out and by that time didn't even care anymore whether I was breathing, my pulse was going through the top or whatever just happened. I was completely wiped clean, bathing in this stillness and nothingness and slowly saw how my ego began to put my world together again. After that I smoked a cigarette and took a walk. My head was surprisingly still and cool with what just happened and was happy to have even greater amounts of awareness and stillness, no bad thoughts coming up, feeling very authentic. I asked myself whether I wanna do this again for 6-12 months on a bi-weekly basis and my intuition was still in for it. Why do I call this a semi-breakthrough and not a genuine breakthrough? I think that if I do this a couple of times and increase the dosage 3-5mg I would be leaving most of the terror behind and bath more consistently in the absolute. I was kind of going in and out here the whole time which was kind of crazy. So we'll see next time. +++ The Aftermath +++ So, I guess you read all of this and just think: "What the fuck, how could anyone ever do something like that to himself?" Let me tell you why. In this moment of complete shock, terror and then dissolving into the absolute you are shown your own birth and death. You actually see how you die every few moments and then are born again a moment later. You see how you are this collection of thoughts, perceptions and emotions and how they spontaneously arise out of an infinite pool of possibilities. I'd guess that if you do that for a few times you can surrender so deeply into it that most of the terror dissolves and you just die into the beauty and majesty of it. Of your own divine nature. I also guess from the aftermath that I experience right now that your own mind has to rebuild itself in a higher order after these experiences because it has no framework to handle it with your limited view. Besides that, I guess that this will lead to the most mature emotionality a human being can have because you learn to accept dying here. That means that over some time nothing really can bug you anymore, because you have experienced and surrendered to your death and have seen beyond it. This I would conclude can lead to tremendous psychological changes that could cause an permanent awakening because nothing else can really handle such an experience. No framework of a normal sleeping mind can do that. Also, the feeling and awareness you get after these experiences are amazing. It feels like being reborn again, clean. It feels like I have done 3 years of daily meditation in 45 minutes, 3 years of talking and fighting and adjusting myself. It is that powerful. I think that it just gets more powerful the more you do it, although it is scary and horrifying to a degree. But you also see that there is really nothing that can really destroy you. And that itself is transforming. So yeah, that's my take on the first experiences. If you are interested in me posting more of this and documenting my journey here on the forum, like this, comment and let me now. I'll go through that and see where I end up. I think it's gonna be a good place. The last few days were the most exciting, refreshing and calm days I had in my entire life. Cheers to 5-MeO-DMT, Azrael

I've kept all my regular friends that I knew before the enlightenment stuff. Two tips to keep your friends: Choose wisely, which whom you spend your time. Most of my friends I would trust anything I own + anything I know / am / experienced so far. Introduce them bit by bit to the crazy shit if they are not into it. If you run around and tell ppl they don't exist, they'll leave. Of course. If they still leave, they should.

Jump out of an airplane with a parashoot and see whether you still think the same way.

I started watching it. It's awesome. Very much recommended. It's in-depth on the implications Osho had on his people and his surroundings.

It means that you won't get all the techniques and methods that actual belong to the Kriya, because they either don't exist any more or are kept secret. So you can only get so far with the techniques. A complete yoga system leads you to the light body (apparently).

I've used microdosing LSD in long learning periods before. It helped a lot. I wouldn't recommend using it all the time though because you should not set your new working / focus standard with drugs. But for certain situations it helps just to get shit done and stay motivated.

I don't know how it is in Sweden, but in Germany we got some serious constraints on what you can and write openly. This really sucks (and motivates me more to go to North America).

@Leo Gura, yeah but this is just one part of a society. The other consists of laws, models, actions etc. that are used to organize the group. And these systems are clearly man-made and the self-evolving organism lives in conjunction with this system. True, because it's natural that a society that is self-evolving will get bigger and bigger until it collapses. A good societal system could prevent that by designing ground rules so that it never gets so far. I wouldn't be so sure. I think we are peaking rn with our globalism so that it will collapse at some point because the system cannot function any further. The question is, how long will it need to go down. But surely, every system that gets too big will fall apart and build new little systems.

In terms of managing a system you can make the point that it is way easier to manage a collection of small systems interacting in a predefined way instead of one big system. Look at your body, it's an ordered collection of many small systems that make up bigger and bigger systems, finally leading to you. So, If you have a set of nation states they can all individually have different kinds of laws for different kinds of cultures so that every culture is happy with its laws. And then these states can interact in pre-defined ways (contracts, human right laws, etc.) to make business with each other if they want to. This way they can even set up systems that ensure that war is held down. For example they can build unions and what not for that sake. The general problem I have with globalism is the following: I don't know one natural or man-made system that works that isn't made of a collection of little systems interacting with each other. So, please change my mind.

Thanks for sharing. This is awesome!

Another problem with the normal Kriya in general is, that it is not a complete system. It's only partially revealed. So you cannot finish the whole practice. There is at least one version I know that is complete, but mostly secret. I think Kriya is a good starting point for people though, but maybe don't spend the rest of your life doing it and get a complete system after some time.

@Seed, take a bath and relax a little bit.

1. No, but I don't even have the sense that it is there when I look at it. It's more like I experience a veil of moving sensations that are completely flat in empty space. 2. Head area still is dominant because sight is a very strong sense perception. Other then that, I have no sense center because it feels like I experience a little flat bubble and that there is nothing "before/behind" that bubble. 3. Awakening is not a state. But yeah, you can feel shitty but you are still awoke. I was ill a few weeks ago, it was shitty. But I was still awoke. 4. Yeah, the character still suffers because he is a romantic in love with certain elements in life. I don't even want to get rid of this. I wanna get rid of a few addictions over time because they are unnecessary. But I don't need to get rid of every suffering, it's not "that bad" any more. It's just an element of the whole deal. What is the nature of suffering. For me, right now? The non-acceptance of an very intense sense perception. But this question should be explored a lot more. Good one. 5. Haven't felt "guy-to-girl" love since I awoke. So, I don't know. If you mean that.

#plusOne (since the "like" function is disabled). Very easy to do technique. Thanks!

Because some grow tall, some grow small.