Azrael

Dude, did you consider that maybe her exams are coming up and she actually doesn't have the time to meet a new man? Write her this: "Do you think you're gonna make it through the exams? Anyway, if you do text me when you are through then." Then she'll probably respond: "What if I don't pass?" You answer: "Then we won't meet. I met this other girl once who was bad at school and she ... ah I can't talk about this. Sorry. Good luck." Or some shit like that. Have a little fun with her. Women try to test you, for good reasons. Read up about dating psychology and then just go out and practice it with as many girls as you want to get better at it. To give you some perspective. I put the last 4 weeks a lot of emotional drama in a girl I really liked and it didn't work out. Sometimes that happens. But because I see a few other girls on the side and test whether it'll work out with one of them, it's just one that didn't fit. It's not the end of the world, it wasn't useless. I learn so much in every interaction I have with a women and it gives me the possibility to melt into my integrity and get better at attracting them to me. Plus I get to know a lot of interesting people. So, put some effort into this and have fun. It's a great topic.

I'm currently working myself up to it. I study in my bachelor right now and take courses on information retrieval, databases, bio algorithms etc. And then in my master I'd like to take these fields to the AI level, for example neuronal networks and text processing in information retrieval, big data systems, language processing. Stuff like that. And on the side I implement some AI and similar stuff to get my head around it. On my job I mostly do import / export of data in certain unified formats in and out of our systems.

I live in Berlin. I met @art a few weeks ago when he visited the city. Was a great meet. We had a very long and interesting talk about a lot of subjects and even went to a park where I led him into a "clarity experience" that helped him on his journey. I learned a lot myself that day. @Be Yourself, see you in August, brother. I'm looking forward to visit Vancouver so much.

Yeah, do AI. Research it, it's amazing. Look at neuronal networks, deep learning, deep belief networks. Philosophize how consciousness does its thing, bring it into your algorithms and push it to the next level. There hasn't been a greater time to do this then right now. I do the same shit and I love it.

@Leo Gura, I guess the most difficult thing for me on my journey was to emotionally handle the change of my own mental apparatus. Let it be the integration that needed to be done (I see way too less targeted and good material on this) or the stuff you go through when you had your initial enlightening experiences. I don't see a lot of people talking about that. It can be very strange when your head stops to think and you have to find a way to make it think again when you are in certain situations. It can be strange that your ability to talk may go down a little bit in the beginning because you don't think as much anymore. It can be strange to release all the tensions that are still stuck in your body and mind. There's a lot of post-enlightenment-stuff that is not covered at all. And I see people making the mistake to think that this doesn't matter because when you are enlightened, how could there be a problem right? Well, there can be way bigger problems then before.

Well, to start off I wanna mention that I changed my name and lately the picture to get a little more anonymity. A few people asked me why in PM's and it's basically because I'm a software engineer in my day-to-day life - that's part of my life purpose - and here in Germany the employers are not so down with the stuff I wanna talk to you about; right now and even more so in the future. --- So, to give you guys a little background information on my psychedelic research: I've been doing this now for a good year, mostly LSD and n,n-DMT. LSD - I do like every 2-3 months, sometimes a little bit more or less, depending on how my time I have for this and n,n-DMT I do very infrequently in little bursts. So I might do it in a row for 3 days (on time per day) and then put it off for sometimes 3-5 months. In the beginning I did more then now but I think I'll maybe do shrooms now more periodically because it seems to deepen my journey more than I thought (and more then LSD in my experience). I do psychedelics most of the time alone in my apartment for spiritual exploration and I tend to always have a particular existential question I wanna investigate. I also pop it sometimes with friends outside in nature (it's stunningly beautiful) or on a festival to have fun. (Don't do that if you are not experienced.) +++ THE TRIP +++ So, I wanted to have a breakthrough experience on mushrooms. I had several breakthroughs on LSD (mostly on 300-400ug) or n,n-DMT (mostly 40-50mg). I got me some mushroom chocolate containing 5 grams of shrooms from a well-respected and very good local source. I ate the chocolate (which was very delicious btw) last Friday, 07:00 pm. I did lower dosages of shrooms before (1 gram, 2 grams) so I knew where I was headed. I put on a very chilling and relaxing music mix on my laptop to orchestrate my experience smoothly, laid down on my bed very openly and meditated into it. 20-30 minutes into the experience I noticed how the shelves I was looking at began to move in the rhythm of the music. I also experienced a good bodyload, feeling the trip coming on. I laughed a little bit and said: "Let's see what you got." I soon should find out. 10 minutes after that the books in my shelves seemed to defocus and blur out, taking on the yellow-red lights from my dimmed lamps in the room. This went on and on until they looked like a city from birds-eye perspective at night. It was very stunning. I felt how the trip came nearer and nearer to me and suddenly these "city at night"-optics projected themselves onto the other walls in the room, getting bigger and bigger. All moving rhythmically to the music. Not longer after that the trip came totally on me, the visuals would be getting very big and intense and I knew it was time to close my eyes and let it begin. So I did. As I closed my eyes I saw all kinds of joker faces, dragons and basically monsters flying into my face, carrying all sorts of negative emotions, negative thought patterns and let's say my shadow. It was very interesting how they carried that. I know these kind of experiences from n,n-DMT onsets. When you enter into a non-dual mystical kind of consciousness, a side in yourself don't wanna let go. So I basically laughed a little bit, looked every one of them in the eye and said to myself: "You are all welcome, I love you as everything else. With a bright smile on my face." In that instant they melted away into a green-bluish kind of tunnel I was now flying through, seeing elves for some time and then basically the earth from outer-space. It was very cool and I was like: "What the fuck's going in my unconscious. This is amazing." As I was flying around the earth in outer space (or at least in my imagination) at some point I entered the earth again and flew right into a yellow-green patterned pyramid. I flew very majestically in a circle inside of this and it just contained on thing: a sitting, meditating old Japanese kind of Zen-master looking guy, starring at the bottom. He was on a kind of pedestal. So I flew around him (all this is happening in total harmony with the music btw) and stopped in front of him. So I asked him: "Who are you?", "Who am I?", "What is all this?", "Are we the same?" I thought this is the chance to have a talk with a Zen master. How exciting. So what happened? He said nothing. Simply nothing. He didn't even look at me, however I could feel that he knew I'm there. And I was a little disappointed in the beginning and then it strut me out of nothing. +++ THE INSIGHT +++ Intuitively a thought came to mind (and I felt like it came from him in this moment) that all my questions, all my problems, all my seeking, all the pain and all of the unknowing I put upon me comes simply from the fact, that at some point in my life I began to buy into what my own inner voice was telling me. That all of my questions will be immediately answered and all my pains will immediately fall off when I see that they result out of me believing one side of my story and through that denying another side. And I was hit with that right into my face. In retrospect, this is something I know for a long time now, this was I'd guess one of my very early realizations I had on this journey. But this simply saying contains everything you need to know to get to the truth: As long as you are telling it to yourself, it is not the truth. Very simple, very plain. Everyone around here knows that, but we tend to wanna collect more and more realizations and find out the real nifty secrets, when truth can be found with very plain and easy principals. So, after this strut me, the top of the pyramid opened up and I flew right through it in the tunnel again and then I opened my eyes. I began to cry instantly because the realization immediately put me in a non-dual state of consciousness and I physically felt how a shell popped from my body, how much energy I use on a minute-to-minute basis to "hold myself together" and how the feeling of "I am the body" is more physically then we think. We always try to calm our minds and focus our attention. When you are in a non-dual state of consciousness, thoughts still come up, emotions still come up. You still have your inner voice. What changes is that a shell pops from your body, you feel like you are a feather lying on air and you are recognizing that everything you perceive is you. Also your mental processes slow down a frickin' lot. You can see how a thought builds slowly out of nothing, has its time to present a little story to you and then vanishes again. It's amazing. So having that, I saw very vividly how I make a distinction about the thoughts that just come up and happen to me and the deep inner voice I identify with the most. I also see that in a sober level day-to-day but here it was very intensified. So I asked: "Who is it that is talking right now?" And I did what the old man told me to refuse every answer and I just focused on my will to experience the answer. So I did. I felt in this very moment that I am as awareness letting everything manifest in every moment and letting everything go again in every moment. I felt how I was still the big bang, now manifesting itself as all these people and planets and this thing called me. I got aware of how when I talk consciously this is the universe putting me up, for a moment and then having a different experience again. And I tell you guys - I cried through most of that - it felt like coming home from a dream in which you was lost all of the time and now you are home. I felt how I could never die and that everything is exactly how it should be and I have nothing to fear. And even when I'm in fear, this is okay too. Because the universe wants to forget itself all together again, so that it can realize itself again. It's the most majestic interplay that there is. I was in this kind of state for a good hour and then the shell slowly came back on. But this very plain and simply insight stuck in my head every since and it charged my motivation and how I should direct my journey very much. So that basically was me trippin' balls on shrooms. What do you think? I hoped you enjoyed reading this and that it charged your motivation and inspired you to go deeper with your journey. Don't forget: The highest truth will be found in the most plain realizations and actions. There is nothing big to find or secret to unleash, get back. Get back from where you're coming from and you'll see. To end this way too long post, I should say that I'll start to experiment with 5-MeO-DMT. I intend to follow Leo on this one and I will take it 1-2 times a month to crack the shell permanently open. I'm ready for this, I've done the research and have the good stuff. So you might here similar posts like this in the future from Azrael, your personal angel of death.

I'm sure you did, @lennart.

It makes you reconnect with your emotions. You are probably like everyone else running away from them. This process can shift your whole paradigm how you go about that. It changed my self-awareness a lot. So just try it for yourself and find out.

@Memeito, on my personal journey I have found that as your individuated view of the world changes through meditation, realizations and what not, you'll naturally become aware of different things. Think about it like this: Your sensing of the world happens through a lens. When you change your sensing of the world this lens zooms out, so that you become aware of more and through that different connections in nature. This'll lead in some sense to what you call psychic abilities. This will lead to a lot of different things as well, just that when you are at this point in your journey it's not "psychic" any more. It's just a different way of perceiving the world. For example, if you are aware that all of your thoughts "pop" into existence just as anything else you perceive and you can validate this as the Truth for yourself, your whole way of seeing you interacting with the world will change. Through that, you'll naturally discover different perspectives to see what is going on. Also, I've found that at some point you'll be able to talk someone out of his illusion to some degree because you were at his point before and you know exactly why he is not able to see the bigger picture. It's like explaining something to someone that you know very well. You know exactly what the hard part of the idea is and how to come around it. If you are good at talking to people, you can help them a lot one-by-one. I did talk one of my friends into a deep enlightenment experience that changed completely how he interacts with the world now. For him it was especially effective because he wasn't seeking it at will and so the "BANG" was even bigger. To a normal person that might seem like psychic stuff, to others it's their reality.

@Leo Gura Cheers to you!

Nice one!

@Loreena, in my opinion it does to a certain degree. Before I started working in my profession I had just enough money to live my student life. Then, when I began working I got enough money to not care any more how much I spent on my groceries, whether I can go the bar with my friends this weekend, whether I can share a beautiful dinner with a woman and take her out. And this gives at least me some kind of freedom. It supports the life that I want to live, so it's a basis in a sense. However, it won't make you happy in the way you want to be happy. When you share a deep conversation with a friend, when you are in love, when you have a great meditation or an enlightenment experience you tap into a kind of bliss that is so beautiful and spontaneous that you'll instantly recognize that everything material you can possess cannot compete with that.

That's such a beautiful post and quote from you @Prabhaker. Thanks for the effort!

@zazed, you need a passion and a life purpose in your life. Then you'll never be bored again.

Yeah, it does. I broke through a few months ago with 15mg. And it makes sense, if there are less tensions in your body making up your personalized sense of self, you need less gold to make them go away. At least this is how it really feels for me. 5-MeO just cracks the shell over time.

Let's imagine you had a dream. Now, the person in the dream you are is asking your very question: Do I have free will? Clearly he doesn't, because he's automatically happening although it might feel like he has free will. Now, but who decides that it is automatic? Who decides what automatic means at all? Who decides how the dream world looks like? Who decides whether you'll have a good or a bad dream?

If you ever were in real love, you could answer that question yourself.

This stillness - which is actually complete infinity if you go into it - is ever-present in any situation. So it doesn't matter if you sit in a still meditation or whether you are in a loud train, going to work. If you are in a loud train notice that every sound is coming out of something and goes into something. Also notice that when you or your environment moves, the sight comes out of the same thing and goes to the same thing. You (what you call you) come out of that and go into that. It is the ever-changing still present moment that there is. So start noticing it when you go through your day with sound. That's actually quite a give-away. When you got that, try sight, feelings etc. Any perception and thought that you can make out will do.

@Scholar, well you just became aware of the witness. @cetus56 introduced me to that term when I was in your situation. Don't think that enlightenment will be one big breakthrough and then it is done. It reveals itself to you slowly. It shows you more and more aspects of reality and then you kind of fall into it until you cannot really think back how it was just 2 years ago when you were rooted in the normal egoic reality. So, just stay with it. It'll go and come back, you'll try to cling to it and then it comes back when you wouldn't have thought about it. Just follow along. You're on a good track here. Cheers to you, Az

No, it's childish to belief you can get rid of a subset of your emotions (suffering). It's also childish to belief that destroying a part of your motor will solve your problem (dissolution of the ego). Put yourself for one moment in the role of suffering and the ego and realize that you treated them like shit for all of your life. That's why they make your life horrible. As soon as you treat them with respect, they will instantly - and I am instantly - be on your side again and you'll feel awesome. No 10,000 hours of work, no mastering nothing. This is nothing you learn. This is something you deeply know by default. You just need to be shown how to get there again.

I'd suggest that you not only listen to Leo but to a whole set of spiritual teachers. Like for me I mostly listen to ppl like Leo, Alan Watts, Rupert Spira, Mooji, Matt Khan and a few others sometimes. By that I get a lot of attitudes to this journey and can kind of see where the teachings overlap and what I should go after. You gotta see that Leo has his individual way for going after enlightenment that first of all must fit to his personality, will include all the failures that he does on his journey and so on. And every one has such a journey. You cannot pick one and say that this how it should be done. So just chill, look at a few teachings and construct your own.

My current favourite for psychs:

Pro Tip: Don't do DMT with 5 ppl in the room. Do it alone or with one sitter max. Vaporize it (that's a art of itself) and then take 3 big hits and keep 'em at least 7-10 second inside. Put enough in your pipe because especially in the beginning you'll waste a lot by not knowing how to vaporize it rightly. So, if you take 70mg instead of 50mg let's say, you'll get to the other side. And you can't overshoot with DMT. So you're all safe.

The ego can only bring suffering if you misplace its position in your world. If you dream, and you know that you dream, there is nothing bad about the dream whatsoever. However, if you dream and you don't know that you dream, the dream might turn into a nightmare very quickly.

If you have a real experience of infinity it is necessarily surrounded by a few things. First you'll have a mental breakdown (if you're still stuck in egoic consciousness) because you cannot experience infinity with a finite machine. So it has to die. When all of your normal mental palest is gone it's quite natural to experience infinity because its the natural property of this reality. It's just that we are in our normal egoic state firmly convinced that we are this person stuck in a body with tasks to do in this world. If you find out that you don't have a body (I'm serious), that you are not able to think, that your ego goes as deep as perceiving this reality to a large degree, that all of what you know is knowing itself, the shift that happens is so dramatic that you are likely to completely go nuts if you are not trained and prepared to experience this. Because you instantly recognize that the state I'm talking about is reality and your normal state is a dream state. So yeah, if you experience infinity and you are still able to tell yourself that you have a body and are a person trapped in a body, it's not real infinity. If you are not able to normally think any more, are overwhelmed by being and just go through infinity, it's more likely that you experience the real thing. Cheers to 5-MeO, Az