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Everything posted by Azrael
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Azrael replied to No-Thing's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You can refute that statement with 30mg of 5-MeO-DMT up your nostrils. I challenge you. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The best practice by far is 5-MeO-DMT. If you are able to do it often enough, enlightenment will definitely come. The question is: Are you man enough? Strong determination sitting is a very powerful meditation. I think it helped a lot. So yeah, go do that. And no, I didn't use SDS with 5-MeO-DMT. If I do MeO, I sit on my couch and try not to cross any limbs. You wanna be as relaxed and open as you can be in that situation + there is nothing you would want to add to the 5-MeO-DMT experience. It's enough by itself. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I tend to not fall in love so quickly any more. As I said in the post I can get fascinated with stuff pretty quickly. Well, that's a fucking no-no if you wanna date a girl if you drown in feelings too early. This went away or lowered a good amount. Haven't been in a real love-state for a bit now but I would guess that it is even nicer now. But I can't tell yet. I'll let you know. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Let's define suffering first before I answer the question. "Suffering is the resistance of an intense emotion." In that sense, I do not suffer any more in most normal cases, that would include how I normally feel throughout the day, how I feel if something happens, etc. I still feel positive / negative emotions but I tend to not hold on to them any more. They just go through me because the "suit" is off. However, there are still limitations to that. If I would sit for long enough in strong determination sitting, I think I would suffer. I don't know, haven't tried it yet. There are probably a few very intense other things that could trigger that naturally like getting stabbed or tortured. You'd need a lot more training for that. But these are a few exceptions. In most cases if I am subjected to a "negative experience", the mind will sing its song about it for a moment and there will be no reaction in the body to that. And then a moment later the mind realizes that and stops and sometimes laughs because it's so funny. It's like there is a natural sarcasm through that in most of what I do, just a little bit. It's like you would have a dramatic scene in the television with very uplifting nice music. It just doesn't sells that good any more and through that you don't attach to it in any negative sense which then implicates that it doesn't bother you. I think though that this is still a phase and that the mind will shut down even more over the next weeks and months because there is no emotional reaction happening any more. It just needs time. Old patterns seem to stay and need time to change. But it's totally fine. I don't care at all about this any more. If I had to describe my emotional state it feels like "laying in your own bed the first time after a 21 year long vacation far away from home." -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Cool questions, @WaveInTheOcean! 1) I sit in the Burmese posture. I trained to sit in that posture and now it's very comfortable. 2) I don't decide any more. When I started with HoloSync I had my eyes closed. Now, I sometimes have them open, sometimes closed. If you wanna stick to the HoloSync advice, close them. It's recommended. If you do "Do-Nothing" long enough, it'll decide for you. I like to have my eyes open though because in my opinion it's even more "doing nothing" because you do not get into dream states and what not. But that came with time and practice. When I sit down these days and meditate, it's all about the fact that I'm sitting and nothing else. 3) Yeah, I have a home workout that I do from Mo-Fr (if I don't cheat - I sometimes do). It's just some exercises like push-ups etc. Nothing fancy. Just to have a little bit exercise in my life because I do so much mental shit with my work and studies. I run sometimes as well. But I really have to push myself to do this, I'm not your natural sports fan. 4) "I use my ability to understand numerous realities, to expand the consciousness of others." That's the abstract formulation of my life purpose. It includes the thing that I'm a master in "understand numerous realities/opinions/ways of living/..." and the thing that I wanna do with it "expand the consciousness of others". The specific application is computer science. I'm doing my studies right now and wanna get into AI / natural language processing / big data analysis. What I'll specifically be doing with that - the future will show. Right now, I'm mostly concerned with educating myself in that. But in the end, I'd like to build my own project (probably when I move to Vancouver after my studies) and connect consciousness work with this. I would love that. 5) Oh man, there are so many. My all time favourites (I can speak them simultaneously as he talks) are Sudden Enlightenment Nature of God Outwitting the Devil I've heard every one of those probably 20-30 times at least. I was a big groupie for like 1,5 years. I even got a picture of him in my corridor. It's the first thing you see if you enter my apartment and his look says more then every lecture I've heard. 6) No. I experimented with vitamins, 5-HTP and fish oil. But I'm not sure yet whether I'll do this more consistently. But I don't do any medications at all, just if I would be seriously injured, but I never was. I don't think highly of common medications. But that's another topic ... 7) No, just a few quick things with girls. Especially in my "purging year" I would've not been able to have a good relationship. You first have to be good with yourself to have a good intimate relationship with someone you are in love with (at least in my experience). But I'm looking into dating right now quite a bit for the last few weeks and months. 8) No, I tend to always sleep like a baby. But I dreamed a lot. I had 7-8 months in which I dreamed very vividly on a daily basis and it felt like hours of that. No joke. Was intense. Now I dream like 4-5 out of 7 days a week, which (for me) is more normal. I remember most of my dreams, they are all crazy and I can see how I process my daily shit in them. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It's recognition of who you are. It's something that is present in every situation you are in. When you are awake, asleep, dead and alive. And through that and in that does the surface of what you call you appear. You have "recognized" through belief and mis-information that you are a subset of the surface of reality - you call your body. Well, if you get rid of that belief, you can recognize where this shit is coming from and that you are that. You can not know it in it's entirety - meaning that you can understand it intellectually because your intellect is a subset of it - but you can very well recognize and dive in it. -
Azrael replied to Real Eyes's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Yeah, true to a degree. If you resist like a little girl and just don't want it to happen, you'll shoot yourself in the foot. But in my experience if you want to surrender and you are just not sure whether you are ready for it, it'll be enough. Especially with a high enough dose. It'll just take you. So, don't get caught up in "Am I ready to surrender?". If you ask that question, you probably are to the degree a human can ever be ready for that. Every 5-MeO-DMT-trip I do, it's still a huge challenge. I just oon't think about it any more and just do it and focus on being relaxed and thinking about someone I love. The rest is done by it. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Yeah, psychedelics can help in that situation. But be careful, use it like precious magical gold. Don't abuse it for just being lazy. There is a difference between laziness and just not being able to get on your feet. Contemplate that. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Sometimes you are in a state in which you realize what is the right thing to do. however you just don't have the inspiration and drive to start doing it. Psychedelics can help with that if you target them to it. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Ray, did you take Leo's Life Purpose course? If you didn't, take it. It's worth 10x times what it costs. At least. What it'll give you is the information synthesized from like 25 books and the structure that you need. I took it even though I knew what I wanted to do in life. It just gave me so many great tools and clarity. I really promote it because of that. It seems like you need clarity and focus. But I don't know you. Make a plan, cut out shit that you don't like or that you know holds you back and don't be too hard on yourself. If you really have a passion and you lay out the plan and follow it, that can be enough to have a good start. With psychedelics, do the research and decide for yourself. I have responded to probably 20+ messages here on the forum that I don't help people get 5-MeO-DMT. And it's basically because I want them to do the research. Because that's as important as the experience. If you don't do it, you don't know what to expect and how to interpret it. It's the same with everything else. You need the theory and the practice. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I don't know how eating really healthy helps with awakening the body, haven't looked into that. From my experience - and how I model it - awakening of the body is the release of the tensions in your body and through that the integration of body and mind. In the normal egoic non-integrated state of consciousness you are always working against your tensions, emotions and thoughts. You are trying to repress them unconsciously. That's what keeps the non-integrated ego so alive, that's why it's so exhausting in that state and that's why you try to get away from yourself in that state all of the time. Once that stops, it's like you pulled the plug and everything goes with each other. Especially interesting then is the occurrence of bad emotions and situations. Because if you made a mistake or something happened you'll still have negative emotions and think about it. It's just that they can instantly go out and so they don't create more needless tensions and negative emotions inside of you. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Yes, dig into that. There is an ever-present now moment that always were and always is - no matter how you feel or what you do and there is the immersion of ever changing surfaces appearing in that. If you go into that, that's a direct route. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You cannot make the switch consciously, no. But you can put effort into the machine (your unconscious) so that it has enough energy and room to work on making the switch. And it will, be assured. It's just that every person has a different past and needs to work through different shit before this is possible. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Good questions, @Afonso. 1) I developed a different opinion about death throughout the time. Especially after the first 5-MeO-DMT experiences. On a strictly physiological level I'm still scared. If someone attacks me with a knife I'll automatically do the best to defend myself. That'll (hopefully) never go. That's normal, because you are wired that way. On an experiential level I know that I can't die. I've seen it. But it'll take years and years of more practice to really let this sink in. It's one thing to recognize who you are and to let the suit of resistance fall off you, it's another to go through all of the different aspects of reality and really grasp it. That's the journey in the long run. That's why we do this. Because after some time, independent how you label your state of consciousness, you'll develop a deep sense of trust to what is happening. But that simply needs time. I still have beliefs about death though. I still have beliefs about a lot of things. I still hope and dream. I just know what they really are, but my character still falls for certain things and rejects others. 2) Yeah, I actually began to see that very clearly last summer. I can also see that determinism is an illusion and I always like to say that in the same breath, so that people don't get nihilistic about everything. Free Will and Determinism exist in certain perspectives of reality, but none of both is the actual reality of things. 3) As I said in the post it felt like being thrown from my path into a ocean - a whole new world. It takes some time to orient yourself in that. I could at least fathom after thinking about it what this probably is because I'm educated on the matter, but I lived with this probably for a few weeks and didn't notice it. Because the thing that notices and criticises all of the time, left. Be assured that when you work on waking up it'll mostly not be an Eckhart Tolle like enlightenment. Look what Rupert Spira has to say about that. It will be slow and gradual, like a flower opens itself up. You'll probably ask yourself in the process of it where you actually stand and you may not know for some time. But then eventually, it'll be clear. A good exercise is to try to understand how you perceived the world just a year ago and see how you changed. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
My normal schedule was 1 hour of strong determination sitting per day, mixed with "Do Nothing" / self-inquiry. I sometimes tried different techniques but I resonated the most with "Do Nothing", just because I'm someone who is really goal-oriented, I do a lot of stuff and this seemed to be the perfect counterpart to this - just sit. Funnily, this technique develops a lot over the time as you do it. If I sit down right now and meditate it's not comparable to just the way it was a year ago. I just "go" now and emerge in the fact that I'm sitting. That's it. Just sitting. That was basically my daily commitment that "I had to do". Sometimes, a little bit less like only 30 minutes or something, but especially in the beginning - the first 1 - 1,5 years - I did a lot of extra sits in the evening, sometimes 90 - 120 minutes to really push it. But I did a lot of informal stuff additionally to that. Like I lived in this enlightenment world. I thought about it all day, meta-analysed everything, looked what is the same in every experience, talked about it to friends, here on the forum, listened to hours and hours of Alan Watts for more than a year every evening while cooking and eating, listened to Rupert Spira, Mooji, I just was immersed in this stuff. It wasn't an on / off thing. I lived it. And I tried a lot of stuff throughout the time. Psychedelics of course, HoloSync (still do and love that), EMDR self-therapy (will talk about that in the future), group meditation, I don't now. I could probably list like 20-30 things. But the main thing was that this wasn't optional for me. It was required from the day I started this. All the rest just came by itself. I didn't meditated or drugged myself into awakening, I just committed to the practice and my unconscious did the rest. It took its time and when it was ready, it did it. -
Azrael replied to Real Eyes's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I think we need a lot of more people seriously investigating this until we can really say something about it. But I for example could not see how you take 10-20 breakthrough dosages of 5-MeO-DMT in short distances (1-2 weeks) and not be enlightened. Independent from where you start. This is something I could not stick to because of the immensity of the experience and permanent changes that every trip brings with it. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
This is not the place for commands. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@unknownworld, interesting questions! 1) 5-MeO-DMT will remove a lot of the tensions and blockages in your body. (Shrooms especially after MeO as well.) EMDR self-therapy might also help purging locked memories and integrate your brain. HoloSync also helps with that. I will talk about that in the future for sure in a post. 2) Meditation, strong determination sitting with "Do Nothing". Also, I really live and breath the whole Zen/Tao way of living / approaching life. I love that stuff. That's it. I mostly live by principals, not so much by little techniques. I know that I am not consciously directing my journey, I just give the momentum (with my practice) that my unconscious needs to do the rest. Also, of course psychedelics. But I tried - as I said - a lot of stuff. But that are the essentials. 3) Standard European diet. Nothing fancy. I'd like to clean it up over time a little bit, but I'm a diva if it comes to delicious food. I've heard though that the Standard American Diet is how we Europeans eat on birthdays. 4) I've thought about this myself. I don't really know, maybe it has increased because the blockages are gone and I feel good. But if it has, not very much. But I'm 21 years old, don't forget that. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I have had a voice speak through me out loud in one of my experiences. After a 5-MeO-DMT session I can enter a subset of the state in meditation, but not a complete breakthrough. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Haven't tried it in a while, but I will let you guys know when I do it the next time. However, I'm pretty sure the experience is the same one at least when you break through. Because you go past everything remotely normal. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I think he is. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Awakening makes you stop running away from yourself all the time + it let's you in on who you are really are. Everything else, costs extra. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Thanks for your opinion. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
3-5 non-breakthrough trips and 2-3 breakthrough trips I guess. I think I started in October 2016 and did the last one in the beginning of 2017. I talked to @Leo Gura about that and I think that I have the advantage of just being 21 years old. From a strictly biological standpoint I'm not completely finished with growing up yet. It'll still need a few years for my character to really sink in. That's probably why it's way easier to make changes in this age compared to just 10 years later. The awakening of the mind was dramatic, but yeah I continued with my life. I have shit to do and yes it was extremely hard to pretend everything is normal to your colleges, friends and family. At that time I didn't really know what was going on, because I was hypnotized be fear so damn much. The awakening of the mind happened on the 17th of July 2016. I still got that date on my whiteboard. The awakening of the body happened in the last 1-2 months. I couldn't really say because I just noticed it a few weeks ago. Source is that what you are, son. -
Azrael replied to Azrael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Enlightenment or Awakening is - as I see it - basically an integration of the conscious awareness and the unconscious and through that the release of the illusion that you are a little man in your head. For that to happen both sides have to come together. For me it felt like from this day on both sides began to come together. That's why I was so fucked up for so such a long time. Because when the unconscious opened itself up all of the repressed sensations, emotions and thoughts came to the surface and I had to purge them out. Before that opening they were pressed down and not allowed to release. I think that the meditation I used and still use "Strong Determination Sitting" with "Do Nothing" and sometimes spiced up with a question you contemplate can be very powerful. At least for me it was powerful and as Shinzen Young ones said: "It's the fastest way to liberation [he knows]." I'd say 5-MeO-DMT is faster... but that's another story. The thing is you don't consciously create that crack. It just happens. Maybe it doesn't have to happen for everyone. Maybe there are other ways. There probably are. So I wouldn't be too worried about that. There are an infinite ways to the top of the mountain, you'll get there by just committing to go.