steenadrianmr

@Carl-Richard Beautiful

@Carl-Richard Do you know of a practice that lets me access these memories, or are there no memories to access? The others involved told me that I was sitting really still in the couch we first drank the tea in during the trip, but also that I followed them upstairs where we listened to music. They told me that they invited me out on the porch for a smoke which I rarely ever say no to, but this time I did. Because I was too heavy I said. I cannot remember this.

@BipolarGrowth I've never had that happen to me, and I have smoked a whole lot. I've had my ex pass out on my brownies a couple of times though

Back in september/october I tripped on shrooms a lot. I took a week off from work so that I could go pick mushrooms. Liberty Caps, psilocybe semilanceata. My whole supply of shrooms that were supposed to last a whole year lasted through mid-october. I tripped a lot and I experienced my first ''ego death'', that's what my friends call it anyways. You can read about it in one of my earlier threads. Anyways, the last 16 dried grams of 'caps are looking at me, daring me to take them all. So I did. Long story short; I was tripping with 4 people, 3 of them have taken the same shroom, but in 1-2g doses. I thought we had been tripping for half an hour, but they say we've been tripping for 6 hours and I cannot remember the first 5 hours. I know that 16 dried grams is a nonsensical, stupid, idiotic dose, so please save me the scolding. This is what I wrote FOR MYSELF, copy paste. This is not a full trip report, but rather a weak description of what I experienced. I remember there being a whole lot of snacks and pre-rolled joints on the table that S and the guy I cannot remember the name of had rolled. I'll call him Bob Kåre Karl Anton Gustavo Juarez Maxim. We were looking forward to tripping. We had this big jug that we would fill with water. There was also a strainer so that we could filter out the mushrooms. I remember me being last and a little bit late with drinking the tea. This being because I struggled with getting all of the mushrooms out of the jug (a bit unsure how I did it), but also because I had to drink three cups filled with foul-tasting, grimy, sandy, slimy tea. I don't sip it either, I make sure to chug it. After each cup I filled my mouth with sjokoskruer, the smash-like snack. I probably shouldn't have chugged it all in the 2-3 minute time period I did, because 16 dried grams is a fuckton of shrooms. According to the internet a heroic dose of Norwegian-picked liberty caps is 3.6 dried grams, meaning I did almost four and a half times that. I did pay the price though as I would soon figure out. After getting the liquid down I just sat there in the couch with the rest of the gang. Bob didn't drink anything as he was driving home later that night. I could feel an eerie feeling in me and a body-load (heavyness) that I have never experienced before. I always get that tingly, funny, heavy feeling in my stomach when I drink shrooms, but here I felt like a rock. I thought that perhaps this would be out of my control, which is something that I wanted, but not to the degree that I got. I cannot remember anything from the trip other than a few flashbacks of scenery and nightmarish entities mocking me. As always when I am going through a difficult psychedelic experience I am yelling ''I cannot see! I can't see!'' When coming down I thought that half an hour, two hours at max had passed by. According to the others we had been there for 5-6 hours. The only thing I can remember was suddenly hearing voices ''name, are you okay?'', ''name, are you good?'' and such. I cannot remember if this was when I was coming down or if this was during the trip, but one thing that is bad for business when tripping is having another friend of yours have a bad trip so I tried my best to formulate that I am good, but having a really fucking terrible experience. I can't fully remember what I said, but they were alright. When I came down I remember lying tired as shit in the couch, my heart pounding out of my chest and me feeling like a fucking spartan warrior that had just defeated a Greek god or something. I tried getting them to understand that I was feeling good by throwing jokes. They seemed pleased that I began to come back. Afternote: I believe this was after the part where I came down and laid down in the couch, but I remember I had this sudden explosive urge to take a piss. I ran with the force of a hundred horses while doing the liberty-cap wobble to the bathroom thinking I had pissed myself while feeling mighty embarrassed in front of the whole gang. I later heard that I wasn't the only one thinking that as my friend J had the same experience. We found out later we hadn't actually pissed ourself. Visuals: The only thing that I can remember is the part that truly terrified me. There was this blue landscape with bloodshot eyes everywhere. I cannot accurately remember what I experienced. I am able to recall seeing a face. A person who's eyes were made of the light-reflective material found on signposts along most roads. He had a beard. The person I saw was never there, meaning in the ''objective world''. I also recall an evil, malicious and horrifying face that mocked me by doing weird grimaces. Eyes inward, mouth doing a weird thing while being in my personal space. As we had taken mushrooms as opposed to LSD or 2c-b, whenever I tried closing my eyes the entity was still there as mushrooms still presents visuals with closed eyes so I had no opportunity to look away. I can also remember my field of vision being expanded to 360 degrees. I could see through my eyelids (I have NO clue if that is what happened, but shrooms man) I don't know if this is true to the experience or if it is something that I falsely ''remembered'' afterwards OR if I had experienced it in another trip this season, but I recall witnessing a paradox or something that was physically impossible. I experienced something that should not be able to experienced, or happen would be a better word as whatever I experience is indeed able to be experienced per definition. A friend of mine told me today that my brain or body shut down during the trip and that I am lucky that it did. What is your opinion? Why can't I remember the trip except the last part? I am hoping for a better explanation than ''you did too much''. I am sorry for the poor quality of post, but this is something that has been popping up in my mind since the experience and I am looking for a quick answer. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day!

@Rilles I'm glad

To be honest... they are the only ones I can think of that I got before they were released. Everything is stories, everything is projection. THIS is it. This. I'm strictly speaking of the spiritual content. I've been thinking of the Absolute as some sacred space that's here, but something that I cannot yet see. That's what is holding me back though, right? THINKING of the absolute, projecting distance from this and the absolute. Am I making myself clear?

My thoughts exactly. When I saw the video pop up I thought that this is exactly what I need. A no ''bullshit'' stripping away the layers of explanation for everything. By Leo! Finally! All the other videos are waaaay too deep for my level of consciousness. The only mystical experience (whatever that means) I've ever had was on mushrooms. You can read about the experience here: I feel Mooji does a great job of pointing at what is already here and stripping away beliefs, thoughts and explanations for why I am so and so without immediately feeding me more words. What really shook me was the confirmation that solipsism is just another concept - a belief. What a great video. Also, do not misunderstand my use of the word bullshit. I simply cannot comprehend his newer videos. They are way too deep for me. Love to watch em tho.

@Bulgarianspirit Thanks for the reply! Perhaps ''getting a taste of what God is'' is stretching it. I'm definitely only scratching the surface. I've tripped around 25 times on LSD, around 10 times on mushrooms and a few times on 2c-b, but I've never experienced this ''state'' before. It is truly the most beautiful moment in my life. I long for the clarity, peace of mind, positive mindset, honesty and the willingness to self-improve. I felt like how I currently imagine myself feeling when I was 16 years old. I've had some problems with drugs earlier in my life so I feel like I have created A LOT of unhealthy behaviours and whiny-, victim-mindsets. Perhaps I was just lucky I got to see through it all. When I was going through the experience I chuckled at myself for being fooled by what I called problems. It all seemed like some weak bullshit at the time. I felt so at peace believing that the rest of my life would be lead by this clearly wiser mind. A mind that had a solution for every single previously thought of problem. A mind that wanted to help- and share this realization with others such as my family, my friends and certainly the guy I was tripping with. I deffo couldn't wait to tell him the simple recipe for peace Again, little did I know that this state, this mindset would pass. I could feel myself ''slipping in and out'' of it and whenever I slipped out there was an element of fear. As I've lead a bad life choice earlier in my life I have set up a lot of defenses so that I could continue leading that life. For instance, if I had just smoked a joint then I surely wouldn't want to appear high in front of family members. So you put on a mask and tell lies to avoid suffering the thought of consequences that would ensue if they should find out. When I was in the blissful state I just wanted to come clean to everybody I knew about everything I've kept a secret about myself. I wanted to make them understand. I wanted to make amends with everybody I potentially have hurt. However, when I thought about telling my family about the wisdom I gained while drinking a ton of mushrooms I could feel small amounts of fear that would directly change my thoughts. I would feel more secure not telling them. I just wanted to know if there is any term that would fit what I experienced. And hey, perhaps I didn't experience God, but I surely appreciate the experience and I did gain some pointers to where I can improve in my life so I'll start there. Not to mention that I've never experienced such an intense trip. I love psychedelics for recreational purposes and this must be my most influential trip. At this point I've probably got enough mushrooms to last me until next year so I guess I will be doing some more trips with more of a self-improvement mindset as I now got a bigger understanding of how to get inner work done.

Setting: My friend J's apartment. We are playing some great music and watching the lights on his television dance. The intensity and colour follows the music. His apartment is pretty messy. There is tobacco on the table as well as coffee stains. There were pizza boxes spread out in the bathroom as we were using the bathroom's heating as a way to dry the mushrooms we had picked earlier. The story/experience: I filled a pot with water and said fuck it before I poured all of the mushrooms in the picture into the pot (guess around 200-300 caps, but I don't know). I wanted a strong, ''heroic'' dose trip as I wondered what it was all about. I had not eaten shrooms in about two years prior except the two or three times in the recent days. As every other time I have tripped I was hoping to gain insights about the Self, God etc. I was hoping the high dose would show me what an ''ego-death'' experience is like. However, as always it was mostly recreational. The thermos I kept the tea in had about four cups in it. I poured myself two cups and tried my best to get it down. I don't mind the taste too much, but it can be pretty nasty. About fifteen to twenty minutes after consuming the two cups I can feel that the trip is coming on. I can feel it as my body feels a weird, but specific way every time I trip. I can also notice some small changes to what I see. I can see the different colours on the TV-screen are changing, morphing and moving. Rapidly I get thrown deeper and deeper into the trip. J told me that I was acting a lot more coherent and calm than when I tripped the night before. At one point I decided to pour me another cup of tea. I had drunk 3/4 of the entire batch. J finally decided to join me and quickly drank his tea. I remember feeling the effects getting stronger and stronger. The confusion mushrooms are known for causing, the visuals, the music is getting more and more intense. We tried smoking a couple of bowls. We occasionally went out for a cigarette. I had visuals like I have never seen before, I was wobbling when I walked and I could barely talk. Shortly after I remember going into the living room where J was lying down resting. I was spinning around whilst tripping over stuff afraid that I might fall down into these deep chasms filled with magma in the floor. I could see thirty meters down into the floor. The visuals were insane! J told me to calm down in a frustrated voice and that made me really uncomfortable as I really felt in the way. I kept repeating ''I'm sorry'' while trying to get dressed. I am still wobbling around going back and forth from the couch in the living room to the mirror in the bathroom. The visuals are so strong that I could not even see clearly. I had to use one eye and close the other whenever I wanted to use my phone. I couldn't see the holes in my sweater so it felt pretty impossible to put it on. At one point I decided to go smoke a cigarette as the visuals were waaaay too intense to be able to cope with. I struggled trying to light the cigarette. I cannot fully remember how the next part went down and in which order, but I will try my best to describe what truly is my life's most beautiful moment. As I am sitting on the stairs outside I feel pretty overwhelmed, but peaceful. I cannot remember if it happened all of a sudden or if it happened gradually, but I think I got a taste of what God is. Every single thing made perfect sense all of a sudden. I all of a sudden felt so positive, so honest, so pure. I saw and understood how I am the creator of my problems. I remember seeing how the mind creates problems. My thoughts were really positive. I thought about how I need to act better and fix some family problems. I thought about how I have been stuck in bad habits and how I would get out. I felt completely at peace as if everything would be okay forever. I felt so happy for finally being able to experience this for myself. I have absolutely no clue about what happened or how to put the experience into context, but I believe I understood then and there that death is not possible and therefore I had no fear. I had no fear of telling my parents about some personal problems I normally would never tell them. I was thinking of how I would tell them the truth about everything and how I would get my act together so that I can be the best version of myself. That is really what it felt like in that moment. I felt like the best version of myself. I was not limited by fear. I understood everything and I had the answer to pretty much everything in the universe. I couldn't wait to tell J what the secret of the universe is, but I stayed and enjoyed the peace for a few minutes. I opened the door and looked at him. ''J, I love you. I love you very much'' I told him. I told him that I had experienced God. Little did I know that this fundamental, simple, obvious ''Truth'' would slip a few minutes later. I have no clue about what I experienced, but I am extremely happy that I did. Could anyone explain this? Thank you.

Please don't put raw crystals/chems up your butt. I'm pretty sure you'll have to crush it and put it in a capsule.

17.5

A couple birds told me there will be DMT where I live in a couple of days and I am thinking that I may or may not cop a gram. I've probably tripped about twenty times more or less, not including MDMA and MDA nor cannabis. What I'm most experienced with is LSD, but I've got a few experiences with cambodian mushrooms and 2c-b, the latter being my first psychedelic. I've had one bad experience tripping which I've made a post about before. It was on LSD and the set wasn't right and definitely not the setting either. The trip felt like the most profound trip I've ever had as I was in pure panic for two hours without being able to escape. It had the most lasting impact on me. I feel pretty certain that I am going to sit there and hit it like a crack-addict will his crackpipe so I currently do not have any fears about trying it. I expect some tension to arise when I'm in that moment though. Anyways, I have a couple questions: - What dose should I start at? 15mg? 20mg? I'm going to smoke it. - I know there's a huge difference in 5-MeO-DMT and N,N-DMT so I am wondering if this is a good tool to ''expand consciousness'' or whatever. It should be noted that I have never had any mystical experiences or anything truly profound that stuck with me. I'm as ignorant and lazy as that guy on the street and I'm looking for that magic pill that will allow me to have a small glimpse into what it is that ''I'' am pursuing. The Absolute are whatever you feel comfortable calling it. Is this the right tool for that? I'm planning to do it in the dark with no music. Thank you! Have a great day.

@Meta-Man What do you think he will gain?

Bruh... Hyper contagious common cold is not correct at all. This is far from a ''common cold''

@Scholar Okay, LOL... Got your point there, buddy. These stickmen does seem a tad more calm though compared to the Lion guy.